It didn't feel good, to hear Lupin say she'd saved Miriam's life, but it didn't feel bad either. It was a curious mix of uncomfortable sensations, a confirmation of the bitter, guilty, hopeful thoughts she'd long tried to comfort herself with.
It was a good idea to move on to something else. Anne forced a smile onto her face and ate some more of her salad. Merlin, the smell of all that food he was eating ...
"Yes, we were in the same year," she explained. "I was in Hufflepuff, she was in Gryffindor, so we didn't really spend much time together until our final years. We ended up working together a lot in Transfiguration. It wasn't ... oh, it was never one of my best subjects, but she's pretty good at it, so she'd give me a hand. We were pretty good friends ... stayed sort of in touch after school, but we stopped writing about the time I got married ..."
There wasn't really all that much to tell, about her and Stella. Anne's life had never been that exciting, and Stella had just been a good friend. They'd never shared any death-defying adventures, unless one counted risking McGonagall's wrath over not handing in an essay, and Anne couldn't think of much she could say that would be interesting to Professor Lupin.
"Ah, so you would have started school after I had left, then."
She would have had Severus for a teacher his first few years. Remus couldn't help but feel a mild pang of jealousy at that. He wondered what Severus had been like, if he could have spared the other man any grief had he not taken himself off to nurse his wounded heart on the continent away from all reminders of what had been.
While she was in school, Remus had fought a war, infected one of his school friends, lost his best friends, and was only just beginning to burnout the rage that had kept him going until a chance meeting with Glamis in a bar in Germany.
And, yet, she had already suffered as much or more as a result of this curse they shared.
"Stella's a good friend to have."
Finishing off the last of his stew, Remus signaled Lass to have the girl box up the rest of his order as take away.
"So, tell me." Leaning back in his chair, he regarded his companion seriously. "How are things going for you truly? I suspect, if your situation was anything but dire, Caleb would not have asked me to meet with you. I'd like to help if there's anything I can do."
Anne blushed hotly, taking a sip of her water as if that would cool her burning cheeks. Professor Lupin might be able to empathise with the reality of her situation, but there still wasn't equality between them. She wasn't a respected teacher and pillar of the community.
"I'm ... I'm getting along okay, Professor," she said, embarrassment leaking through her voice, her hunched shoulders, her expression and her eyes. "Things aren't dire, and I certainly haven't come beg - asking for favours. I wanted to speak to you simply because ... well, I've already asked you about the thing I thought you might be able to help with. People to talk to, that sort of thing." She tried to hide her disappointment that there was no hidden country club where werewolves could go and relax and enjoy a drink or two while listening to the Quidditch on the WWN. "My situation isn't great, but I still have savings to help support me, for example, so I'm not nearly as badly off as some are ..." She took another mouthful of water. This was difficult to talk about - saying anything truthful about the way she lived sounded like a request for him to try and change it, and Anne didn't want to do that. Little favours she could accept, difficult as it was, but big things - no, there was something in her that balked. It wasn't quite pride.
"It's quite possible Caleb misrepresented my situation," she demurred. "I do better than it seems, I'm ... more frugal than I quite need to be." Stumbling for explanations that sounded like feeble excuses, Anne felt her tongue stutter and come to a halt. She didn't know what else to say.
It was a good idea to move on to something else. Anne forced a smile onto her face and ate some more of her salad. Merlin, the smell of all that food he was eating ...
"Yes, we were in the same year," she explained. "I was in Hufflepuff, she was in Gryffindor, so we didn't really spend much time together until our final years. We ended up working together a lot in Transfiguration. It wasn't ... oh, it was never one of my best subjects, but she's pretty good at it, so she'd give me a hand. We were pretty good friends ... stayed sort of in touch after school, but we stopped writing about the time I got married ..."
There wasn't really all that much to tell, about her and Stella. Anne's life had never been that exciting, and Stella had just been a good friend. They'd never shared any death-defying adventures, unless one counted risking McGonagall's wrath over not handing in an essay, and Anne couldn't think of much she could say that would be interesting to Professor Lupin.
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She would have had Severus for a teacher his first few years. Remus couldn't help but feel a mild pang of jealousy at that. He wondered what Severus had been like, if he could have spared the other man any grief had he not taken himself off to nurse his wounded heart on the continent away from all reminders of what had been.
While she was in school, Remus had fought a war, infected one of his school friends, lost his best friends, and was only just beginning to burnout the rage that had kept him going until a chance meeting with Glamis in a bar in Germany.
And, yet, she had already suffered as much or more as a result of this curse they shared.
"Stella's a good friend to have."
Finishing off the last of his stew, Remus signaled Lass to have the girl box up the rest of his order as take away.
"So, tell me." Leaning back in his chair, he regarded his companion seriously. "How are things going for you truly? I suspect, if your situation was anything but dire, Caleb would not have asked me to meet with you. I'd like to help if there's anything I can do."
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"I'm ... I'm getting along okay, Professor," she said, embarrassment leaking through her voice, her hunched shoulders, her expression and her eyes. "Things aren't dire, and I certainly haven't come beg - asking for favours. I wanted to speak to you simply because ... well, I've already asked you about the thing I thought you might be able to help with. People to talk to, that sort of thing." She tried to hide her disappointment that there was no hidden country club where werewolves could go and relax and enjoy a drink or two while listening to the Quidditch on the WWN. "My situation isn't great, but I still have savings to help support me, for example, so I'm not nearly as badly off as some are ..." She took another mouthful of water. This was difficult to talk about - saying anything truthful about the way she lived sounded like a request for him to try and change it, and Anne didn't want to do that. Little favours she could accept, difficult as it was, but big things - no, there was something in her that balked. It wasn't quite pride.
"It's quite possible Caleb misrepresented my situation," she demurred. "I do better than it seems, I'm ... more frugal than I quite need to be." Stumbling for explanations that sounded like feeble excuses, Anne felt her tongue stutter and come to a halt. She didn't know what else to say.
((An August thread continuing now? xD))
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