Comments | fiery_inception: Forty-One

m4moony in fiery_inception

Forty-One

Mar 10, 2007 15:18

Date: Saturday, 10 March, 2001
Time: roughly 8am-ish
Location: Spinner's End
Characters Involved: Remus Lupin & Severus Snape, only
Rating: PGish, I think, for now, we'll see ;-)

( We grow neither better or worse as we get old, but more like ourselves. --May L. Becker )

status: complete, status: invitation only, character: severus snape, character: remus lupin, location: spinners end

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subtle_simmer March 11 2007, 01:31:09 UTC

Severus was Severus, still. No amount of 'togetherness' could alter the basic nature of who he was. Insecurity made him angry. Anger found vent in snark and deliberate baiting of those closest to him.

As evidenced by his continual harangue over the Metamorphmagus. Severus doubted he would ever be completely confident or secure in his relationship with Lupin as long as she kept turning up. 'Old friend', indeed. Life history had taught him, again and again, that in a choice between Severus Snape and anyone or anything else, no one ever chose him.

Remus insisted he would, of course, but that hadn't really been tested much, had it? Sinistra chatting with him about providing her mother with grandchildren had been disturbing enough. To watch the barely-dressed Nymphadora Tonks cling to him around the dance floor had been enough to churn his stomach - an uncomfortable sensation which hadn't stopped until he knew Remus was back at the castle after their 'not-date' Tuesday night!

Clearly, Severus had issues. He had thought that ( ... )

subtle_simmer March 11 2007, 01:31:46 UTC

Inside the box was a smaller version of the memorial frame he had made for Hogwarts, though the image was empty. Severus had tried to extract memories of Remus' friends to place within it, but all his recollections of the lot of them were too tainted with the most profound dislike, and no amount of effort could make it something tolerable. There was also an album of one of the other groups Remus had mentioned as not having a completed collection of - Severus had found he actually rather liked that eBay thing ( ... )

m4moony March 12 2007, 02:30:09 UTC

His restlessness and general sense of feeling 'uptight' was keeping Remus more just hovering on the edge of sleep than actually asleep. But, he knew Severus would fuss if he didn't get enough sleep. If he hadn't been slightly annoyed with the constant jibes at 'Dora the last week, Remus might have found that thought alone comforting enough to provide the sleep he sought. Still, he didn't want to cause the other man trouble or worry ( ... )

subtle_simmer March 12 2007, 02:55:52 UTC

Severus huffed in something like exasperation, or maybe self disgust, even as his arms pulled Remus closer.

"Not much of a present if that's all there was," he said, nodding his head toward the box on the tray. "Your real present is over there. I just thought you might like... company... while you slept."

Not to mention that his usual morning nap would be more comfortable on the bed rather than the chaise. He already felt his body all but melting against the other man, as though yearning to be one.

But that wasn't his only motivation, as Remus' last question reminded him. He frowned and sighed heavily, his lips pursed into a thin-line.

"There is nothing to forgive. I have been... behaving badly."

Gods! How hard it was to admit that! He swallowed hard and met Remus' gaze, trying (and probably failing) to disguise how very vulnerable he felt.

"It is very difficult for me to accept that you would rather be with me than with her - or damn near anyone else, for that matter. Like Stella and her talk of giving her mother ( ... )

m4moony March 12 2007, 06:05:27 UTC

Heedless of the aches and pains to his shoulder and hips, Remus gingerly turned onto his side to face Severus. The hand which had been caressing the other man's face joined it's mate in sliding around Severus' waist to help in the efforts to bring them closer.

"No, my real present is right here." He squeezed his arms a bit more to emphasize his point. "Everything else is just icing ( ... )

subtle_simmer March 12 2007, 18:23:01 UTC

Severus didn't know what he'd expected to come from his admission. He could hardly believe he'd come so far as to be willing to make it to begin with ( ... )

m4moony March 12 2007, 19:37:45 UTC

Nothing warmed Remus like the sight of a true smile gracing Severus' lips, or the knowledge that he had been the one to put a smile on lips that were so unused to the expression. It was the clearest way his own heart had of showing him how pure his love for this man was -- Severus' happiness was Remus' greatest joy.

Severus' words, however, came very close to equaling it in that moment.

Though quieter, more accepted as Fate, fears of loss and inadequacy were no less present in Remus' mind as they had been in Severus'. But, Remus was accustomed to these things just fading away. he had set out to clumsily woo the other man with secret messages and the constance of his own presence. But, in his heart he had always known that one day, Severus was going to find him tiresome, find caring for a him each month to be too much of a trial.

That Severus might want as much from Remus as Remus had come to need from Severus was a possibility he had not even considered. In his current state, his own guard was so far down those three dangerous ( ... )

subtle_simmer March 13 2007, 01:55:12 UTC

The simile of 'kisses, sweeter than wine' suddenly made perfect sense to Severus as he drank affection from Remus' kiss like the most nourishing ambrosia.

So used to having to be strong, independent, isolated... lonely, Severus had never imagined himself capable of the sort of give-and-take inherently necessary in any relationship. It was a surprise to find himself not only capable of it, but reveling in it, his body easily submitting to the gentle pressure of Remus' hand upon his shoulder even as the doubts of his heart gave way to the far weightier pressure of Remus' words ( ... )

m4moony March 13 2007, 04:21:00 UTC

If Remus had thought his body thrummed with energy whenever he got near Severus five months ago, it fairly vibrated with it now! He was bone-weary and still overfull of energy and emotion, all of which was poured into heated kiss after heated kiss.

It was in the way his lips parted to welcome the sensual duel of tongues twining together. It was in each drifting touch of hands skimming over thin hips, waist, chest, arms... It was in the hitch of breath that accompanied each pass of long fingers over his skin and the hoarse groan dragged from his throat with the increased contact as his entire body was wrapped in Severus.

He had never thought to have this, this sense of knowing, truly knowing he was cared for, supported, wanted -- all of him, darkness and light, total acceptance of the entire package. For as many years as he had simply wanted to find that one person to whom he could give himself completely, who would take his curse in stride without ignoring it's existence or belittling the man in favor of the beast, he had never ( ... )

subtle_simmer March 13 2007, 04:47:21 UTC

Inhibitions were gone. So far demolished as to be forgotten as to why they had been permitted to come between them this long, already ( ... )

m4moony March 13 2007, 06:22:52 UTC

Limits, at least his own, were about the last thing on Remus' mind. He knew this wasn't going to go all the way to the desired conclusion. He just did not have the stamina and it would be a poor first for Severus, if they had not agreed there was no need to rush anything.

No, the one thought drawing the focus of his thoughts was touching Severus, loving through his fingers as well as he loved with his heart. Although the more active and more primitive instincts driving him were much less poetic -- touch, claim, minePropping himself up on one elbow, he set to work on the buttons of Severus' shirt with one hand, rejoining in the kisses as he did so. Starting at the bottom, he worked his way up, taking as much time about it as he could endure. It was an effort, much more effort than he would have ever considered, but he refrained from touching this newly exposed expanse of Severus until they had removed the shirt entirely ( ... )

subtle_simmer March 13 2007, 20:26:10 UTC

Having agreed to this next level - wanting it with near desperation, himself - the slow, teasing removal was nothing short of exquisite torment. Soft sounds of frustration were lost in heated kisses as Severus fisted his hand tightly in Remus' hair, the other hand twisted into the bedding to keep from helping the process.

"Bloody tease," he accused between demanding kisses. At last the shirt was open, and he sat up long enough to shrug out of the sleeves, letting it drop carelessly to the floor. He barely took enough time to remove his wand from the pocket and set it with uncharacteristic inattention on the bedside table.

"Gods!" he gasped as Remus' warm hand caressed over his yearning skin. Muscles trembled beneath the touch as though flesh was leaping in joyous welcome to the long-sought contact. A sharp his of pleasure escaped him as the curious hand ghosted past an almost painfully-sensitive nipple. He'd had opportunity to learn how much he enjoyed touching Remus, learning the planes, angles and ridges of skin, muscle and ( ... )

m4moony March 15 2007, 19:46:00 UTC

Beneath the haze of desire, a war was waged sluggishly in Remus' mind. That burning need to mark and claim was an almost palpable force within him, spurred on by the emotional yearning to make Severus his and the primal instincts so prominent this close to the Full Moon. Only a thin veneer of fear held him back.

A very thin veneer...

...that snapped under the combined sensation of tightening fingers in his hair and the press of flesh against rather than away from his mouth. Letting the growl that had been building in his throat rumble free, he gave in to primitive drives and bit down firmly into the soft, warm flesh at the base of the throat, just where it begins to curve into the shoulder.

Eight moons earlier, this man had offered his throat to the wolf -- the real wolf. For one moment, the world had stopped. Nothing seemed to move. Even the very breath of the man in canine form had paused. In that second, the deepest levels of consciousness had finally clicked, fear and want, man and wolf, melding into one thought -- must ( ... )

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