(Untitled)

[the_it_boi]

Date: 13 November
Time: Noon
Location: Adrian's flat and a some random park
Characters Involved: Adrian Pucey and Pansy Parkinson
Rating: R for possible language?

Comments

[freakedwithjet]

Well, all told it was really quite the relief to hear Ady’s voice and know that he was still alive. With that plastering of pamphlets and the shut-up flat, Pansy had been feeling more than slightly afraid for him. Which was nothing to be ashamed of, she had precious few friends anymore that she could afford to have them disappear from under her feet and she and Ady went back ages.

The demand for a password would have sent Pansy back to banging on the door and clamouring to be let in except she remembered Bonfire Night when Perry had come over and she had chained the door against him and she bit her tongue. Instead, she kept her voice as calm as possible as she leant closer to the door and said, “Ady, it’s Pansy. You need to let me in, all right? It’s me, I swear it’s me.”

She paused and pondered. How to convince him it was her and not some poly-juiced nut-job? With Perry, you could just tell. No-one could playact Perry - there was just something about him that wasn’t copyable.

A wicked grin lit her features as she hit upon something. “Ady. I know all about that unfortunate scissor incident when you were eight,” she said, “and the charming scar on your arse. Would I know about that if I wasn’t me? Now-“her voice grew firmer here- “enough with bloody passwords and let me in!”

I feel like a sitting duck out here.

[the_it_boi]

“-charming scar on your arse.” she said. And of course, who else but Pansy or a member of his family would know of that little bit of information? He could still remember the night he had told her, bored out of his mind and randomly stating facts about himself that she hadn’t known before. It had been a lonely night in Hogwarts, the two of them done with their papers and reading and with nothing else to entertain them. And of course he could never stand silence, so he had begun to jabber between taking drags off of a cigarette. He was astonished she remembered anything from that night, as long ago as it had been.

It was amazing the relief he felt at the sound of her voice. Rather like a knight in shining armor she was, come to save him from his own self-imposed hermit-ness. He passingly wondered if she had received similar notes, but then focused on the more important thing: she was there, outside his door, and wanted in.

He quickly unlocked the multiple locks on his door, including the charms he had placed on it when he had finally barricaded himself in, and opened the door. Papers ripped and fluttered to the ground as he reached out with one arm to hastily pull Pansy into the flat. Nervously he stuck his head out and peered to either side to see if anyone was watching before slamming it closed and relocking everything. Only after that was finished did he turn to Pansy and gasp her name: “Pans!” His next words came in a rush, merging into each other until one couldn’t be discerned from the other, “ThesepapersstartedshowinguponmydoorandIdidn’tknowwhattodoandIcouldn’ttellyoubecausethey’rewatchingandIcan’tbelieveyou’rehereandohMerlinaretheystilloutthere?”

[freakedwithjet]

Massaging her shoulder, which felt as though it had almost been dislocated again, Pansy watched soundlessly as Ady let loose in full-grown hysterics. An adult in the throws of emotional excess was actually a little scary - was this how Perry viewed her when she flew off the handle? Did she also appear more than slightly ridiculous?

Underneath that panicky, hyperventilating exterior though, she knew from personal experience that Ady was really scared and so Pansy didn’t laugh - she didn’t even smile. Instead she moved forwards and rested one hand securely on his shoulder. It simply wasn’t Slytherin to fold him up in her arms and encourage him to weep on her shoulder, and Ady wouldn’t thank her for it if she tried.

She raised her eyebrows and, looking straight into his eyes, said, “Ady. It’s fine - I’m here. Get a grip.”

[the_it_boi]

Anything more than the touch to his shoulder would have sent him into further hysterics, but as always Pansy knew exactly what to do. Her grip was like a link to reality. It drew him back to the world and his gasping quieted until he was human again. A bit like a muggle -- rough around the edges and not to secure in sanity, but otherwise fine.

“Thanks, Pans,” he sighed before moving away from her. Worn out from his emotional outburst he collapsed into the chair he had previously been sitting in and waved her to another one. In any other circumstance he would have carefully cleared the offered chair for her (in any other circumstances he wouldn‘t have needed to clear the chair), but he was in no mood for chivalry at the moment. He was a mess, and in no mood for anything but sleep, hopefully forever.

“You saw them, I’m guessing? I have no idea who it is, but they’ve been coming for weeks. I--” he hesitated. “I couldn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

[freakedwithjet]

Pansy nodded, acknowledging the blatantly self-evident fact that yes, she had seen the flyers. She didn’t speak for the moment though, just looked silently at the armchair she had been assigned. It was piled high with all kinds of crap, and entirely impossible to sit in. In fact, that entire room was gloomy and dusty and dirty and most unlike Ady.

Perhaps things were worse than she thought.

Giving up the chair as lost, Pansy perched on the arm of the chair Ady was sat in, but carefully did not touch him. He needed to initiate any kind of physical interaction, if he was in this bad a shape.

“You’re an idiot, Ady,” she said conversationally. “What good did not telling me do?” She paused and looked pointedly around the flat before continuing. “I’ve been having some fun of my own lately… or have you not been getting the Prophet? I suppose these nutters probably have something to do with mine. We should be proud - to be worthy to be the focus of their Crusade spirit.”

She resolutely refused to listen to the sick little voice in her head: Hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite.

[the_it_boi]

Adrian sighed, and lightly rested his head against Pansy’s arm. It had been his pride that had kept him from telling her. He hadn’t wanted her to think him weak, no matter how effeminate he seemed otherwise, he was still a man and wanted -- no needed to be seen as someone who was strong. She was his best and longest friend, and quite honestly, other than Seth, he thought of her as his only friend…he cared what she thought of him. A moment of weakness was a moment of unworthiness.

But then he heard her words. He wasn’t the only one getting treated in such a manner, although she didn’t seem to be fazed at all by the attacks to her honor. He most certainly couldn’t imagine her living in filth of her own making.

“No…” he said slowly, “It did no good, beyond taking what little tan I had away. And I haven’t been getting the prophet. I won’t let Felica leave, and I won‘t open the windows to let any strange owls in.” And indeed his owl had been forced to stay in his home, sleeping on her perch in his room, flying about the flat for exercise. Anytime he came near her she squawked and bit at him, but even the threat of bodily harm wasn’t enough for him to let her go. He then gave a wane smile, “Oh yes, very proud. I’m merely playing the part of the consumptive heroine to get attention. And look, it worked!” He playfully nudged her arm with his head before growing serious again.

“This -- it’s absurd. I would never harm anyone! I might think Muggles are funny creatures, but…and you…well I won’t say you haven’t caused me grievous injuries before you vicious woman, but I know you. You aren’t a Death Eater. You would never follow anyone, let alone a … man like that. You’d claw his eyes out the second he said ‘bow to me’.”

[freakedwithjet]

Pansy smiled at the touch of Ady’s head against her arm, though he couldn’t see it, and touched her hand against his cheek briefly before letting it rest again. Ordinarily, she might have been a bit resentful at once again having to be strong, but this was Ady. Somehow, normal rules did not apply here. Their relationship was strange like that.

She would have scoffed at the idea of being seemingly unmoved by her experiences of the last few weeks though. It was very easy for Ady to think so, having hidden away and not read the things being written about her; nor having heard the whispers on the streets. It seemed ridiculous that someone could be persecuted for having done nothing, but ridiculous was everyday these days.

Laughing at Ady’s ideas of her reaction to the Dark Lord, she commented sarcastically, “Claw his eyes out? But that would make me the Saviour of the world.” She paused and smirked. “How the bleeding-hearts would love that. You’re forgetting, Ady: we’re Slytherins. We’re condemned already,”

Though said as a joke, there was a wry twist in her voice that belied its light tone. Pansy twirled a piece of hair around her index finger, frowned, and looked away.

[the_it_boi]

It was true. Slytherins were condemned the moment that bloody hat opened it’s ragged mouth. He could even now remember how surprised he had been when the rabid piece of haberdashery had proclaimed him a Slytherin, and how perfectly the House had suited him, even that first day. It had taken him a full week to even realize that the other students of Hogwarts didn’t view the House in quite the same light as he did. They saw the children of Death Eaters, cheats and sly, cunning snakes. Which, he had to admit, was true in some cases. But his parents weren’t Death Eaters (or even Slytherins for that matter), and he wasn’t all that sly or cunning. But it was pointless. People would only see what they wanted to see.

He sighed yet again, and tilted his head back to watch Pansy as she played with her hair. He couldn’t always tell with her, but he thought she was nearly as bothered by the persecution as he was. But then he decided that the atmosphere was far too heavy, and well, he was tired of it. So he got to his feet in an abrupt movement and began to gather up clothing in his arms. But with another thought he dumped them to the floor and stood staring at the wall. Slytherins weren’t weak, and neither was he. If Pansy could stand tall, so could he. “I’m fucking tired of it!” he growled to no one in particular.

“I’m going to go do something about myself.”

Ripping the tie out of his hair, he stalked to the bathroom and viewed himself in the mirror for the second time that day. The determination in his eyes pleased him. No one would cause him to hide in his own home ever again. He yanked a brush through his hair, pulling out more than a few strands in the process. There was nothing he could do about his pallor or how thin he had gotten from stress, but he would at least look his best. He then went to his room and pulled on fresh clothing that had somehow escaped him before.

Feeling decent for the first time in days, he reentered the living room. He stood in front of Pansy, hands folded across his chest. “Remember when we won the House Cup and it was taken away from us? That was shit. And this is shit. Slytherins get no respect unless they command it, and so that‘s what I‘ll do. I refuse to hide anymore, Pans.”

[freakedwithjet]

Pansy was left twiddling her thumbs when Ady suddenly sprang up and left the room and she had nothing to distract her from her horror at exactly how much of a mess Ady had allowed himself to get into. The flat was more like a hovel than Ady’s usual style of clean, uncluttered living. It was unbearable even for her, and if she’d been any good at household charms, she wouldn’t have been able to help herself.

But what use were cleaning charms for the likes of Pansy Parkinson and who would have taught them to her? So instead she sat, frowning around her, until Ady reappeared. He certainly looked better, with clean clothes and freshly brushed hair but there was still a look of strain about his eyes and his voice remained unusually serious. This was new territory for them - Ady had always been happy-go-lucky and encouraged Pansy to be outrageous. Seeing him brought so low, even though he now seemed to be climbing out the other side; it was a shock.

Of course Pansy remembered when they took the Cup. That had been in first year and in many ways now it seemed so petty to still be upset by such a thing as a House Cup, but it had been a signifier. If Pansy hadn’t known then that they were on their own, Dumbledore drove it home the day he stole that Cup from Slytherin House. What made it worse was that nobody said anything. Not one person from their own table or anywhere else stood up and pointed out that it wasn’t fair. That house points were for doing your homework and playing Quidditch, not recklessly endangering yourself and your friends, breaking school rules left right and centre and killing a teacher!

Her chin lifting with defiant pride even at the memory, Pansy grinned and said, “About fucking time too. What shall we do, then?”

[the_it_boi]

Adrian was still for a moment thinking, before a slow grin lit his face. “Let’s shock them! Frolic among the Muggles we so despise. Make friendly with the animals.” He said this all with sarcasm, knowing full well that although lower, Muggles were as human as she and he. And if the unknowns were watching, they could be frightened out of their wits by the very thought of it all. And then he would laugh in their facs.

He pulled on a white coat over his jumper, knowing full well it would be cold outside. He already had Muggle money in his wallet, and after nearly a month in hiding, it was burning a hole through the expensive leather. He offered his hand to Pansy and said, “I propose we get pissed and make fools of ourselves. We’re young. We’re beautiful. And I want them to see that I’m not afraid of them or their fucking pieces of paper.”

[freakedwithjet]

Pansy smiled in response and stood up ready to follow him out of the door, but with some trepidation. She’d lived with Muggles for about three years now - Christ, had it really been so long?- and she’d had a relationship with John for just over six months. Once, not so very long ago, she would have dismissed Muggles as animals too. Of course, she still thought they were beneath her (most people were) and she knew Ady was joking but still some part of her wondered, would Ady think less of her if he knew how close to a Muggle she had actually been? What she had allowed a Muggle to do?

Would Perry?

Shaking off her worries was such a common action now that Pansy hoped they’d slough off even as she shrugged her coat on and wound a scarf around her neck.

“I’m not sure I’m capable of making a fool of myself,” she commented, “but I’ll give it a go.”

She stayed quiet though, as they walked side by side to the local corner shop and she waited outside while Ady went in to buy booze and cigarettes. All of the emotions of today were pressing in on her and she hated to show it but somehow there didn’t seem to be another way not to implode. Waiting until they were sat down on a bench in a small local park, huddled against each other for warmth, Pansy carefully peeled back the plastic wrapper on the cigarettes and pulled one out, lighting it with a quickly-struck match.

Another Muggle skill she’d picked up over the years.

Pansy frowned and closed her eyes, leaning her head on Ady’s shoulder and silently blowing a smooth stream of smoke from between her lips.

[the_it_boi]

After living as a Muggle for so many years, Adrian was well versed in buying items from shops, knowing exactly what money to give and that what he received back was correct. He wondered to himself as he walked out of the shop at how some things could be so easy when the world was being so hard.

But then seeing Pansy standing outside made him lightly smile, glad that some things did come easily. They had never had to work at their friendship. A companionable smoke and mutual interests in the Slytherin common room had grown to a meaningful relationship, something he had never known he had been in desperate need of.

They reached the park quickly enough, and as they sat he slipped his arm casually about her waist, bottle of wine tucked between his thighs and a cigarette in his free hand. They smoked companionably for a few moments in silence while children screamed and laughed in the distance. The ground was covered in fallen leaves, and the bite of the chill air was enough to make him wish he’d thought of a scarf like Pansy had.

After his cigarette was done he opened the bottle and took a quick drink from it before passing it to Pansy. He watched as families walked by and walkers with their dogs. He had never been around Pansy when the mood was so serious, and didn’t know quite what to make of it or what to say. But for someone who constantly spoke, the silence was growing too heavy. “I nearly went crazy. If you hadn’t come - hell, I don’t know. Love, you don’t know how grateful I am for having you. I thought about you constantly during the war. If I had known you had been living as a Muggle I would’ve come to see you.” He gave a sharp laugh, “Enough of this! It’s far too emotional for me.

He pulled another cigarette from the pack and began to smoke it, minutely watching the smoke rise into sky, embarrassed by his outburst.

[freakedwithjet]

Still getting back into the swing of smoking, Pansy had half her cigarette left when Ady stubbed his out and offered her the bottle. Balancing the stub in her left hand, she took the bottle with her right and took a mouthful, not too large that she risked some of it dribbling down her chin, but enough.

It was strange, Pansy thought, how she could have two completely different relationships with two straight, Slytherin boys. With Perry, a lot of the time they seemed to be struggling against each other rather than working together; with Ady, things had been simple from the start. She felt Ady's arm secure and casual around her waist and thought that at least physical interaction was equally simple.

He was still highly strung, and Pansy used her free hand to take hold of his, by her side and just keep it there, her fingers warming his.

"What the hell are you bringing the war up for?" she asked. "That was ages ago, all over. And so is all this leaflet bullshit, so just try and forget about it." She smiled slyly and tilted her head up to look at him. "Or do I need to distract you somehow?"

[the_it_boi]

He glanced at her gratefully when she gripped his hand. He was a tactile person by nature, and when he wasn't worked up he enjoyed everything he could get in that department.

"I'm bringing up the war because I'm an absolute idiot," he said, half laughingly. "But I'll do as you say. I'll forget it all and live happily ever after." He threw a charming grin her way and answered, "Distract me, darling? You're already distracting. But please do. I'm in need of it."

[freakedwithjet]

"You are an idiot," Pansy agreed with a smile, "but I'm used to it, don't worry."

She squeezed his hand lightly and looked away, over the park in the direction of the playful screams and laughter. How strange to think that once upon a time all she'd had to worry about was someone putting grass in her hair or knocking her off her toy broom... Thinking back, she couldn't actually remember a time when that was true, but it must have been. She couldn't possibly have been stressed at five.

And yet here they were, fifteen years later, at that age all children yearn for, when you could go to bed late and make your own mistakes and yet every choice seemed to be a mistake in hindsight and every question asked a request to step a little further in the wrong direction.

Pansy sighed and turned back to Ady. Distraction. Right.

"Perry asked if he could move in with me the other day." She laughed mirthlessly. "For me it was completely out of the blue. Nearly gave me a heart attack and now I don't know what to do."

[the_it_boi]

Indeed, here they were fifteen years later, even though Adrian didn't feel like an adult in the least. If he could have his way he would never grow up.

But it seemed that Pansy already had, and here she was, asking him if she should allow Perry to move in. He honestly didn't know what to answer. He would never consider it for himself, but Pansy was a different person. The very thought of a live in was enough to make him shudder.

"I... well, do you love him? Do you even like him enough to want to see him in the morning before he's brushed his teeth?"