He looked like an animal startled in bright light for a moment, and Pansy wondered if that was it, the end of this amazing closeness and if he was going to cut and run. What would she do if he pushed back off the bed and went for his clothes? Would she grab him and try to hold him back, or would she let him go?
Before she had to decide though, he was back and pushing her slowly back to the matress. She went willingly, but this wasn't a game anymore (if it ever had been, really). There was no laughing and joking now. Perry's movements were stiff and his eyes serious as he looked down at her. Pansy was surprised she didn't feel more vulnerable, more uncertain. After all, Perry was only the second man to ever see her like this, only the second man she'd ever seen like this. But this was Perry, and she wasn't afraid, not even for a moment.
Perry, though. He looked... not scared, but concerned, as his eyes skated over her body, and Pansy wanted nothing more than to ease the tension that was all too obvious in the line of his shoulders and the quiver of his arm. Almost as though he'd read her mind, he dropped lower, and it only took a slight arching of her back to press her lips to his in a soft, delicate kiss. Her fingers drew meaningless swirls on his back, following the lines of his muscles, as he caressed her neck and Pansy just enjoyed this feeling of closeness, togetherness.
She barely heard the murmur and for a moment she misunderstood him completely. "Oh, but I'm not a-"
Her voice cut off as she caught sight of the bruising herself. She'd barely even felt it when Perry had inflicted them, as caught up in the moment as he himself had been, but now she understood at least part of this new seriousness. She knew Perry scared himself, and she knew it would be naive of her to think that he would never hurt her. If he was nervous of himself, he probably had his reasons and everyone had lost control at one time or another in the passion of some emotion. So she didn't utter meaningless platitudes or declare some ill-founded belief in his incapability to hurt her. Instead she stroked her hands softly through his hair, looked straight up into his eyes and said, equally softly, "I will."
Perry tensed at the feeling of her fingers sifting through his hair, but for a completely different reason than worry or fear. She was still with him, still willing.
There was no denying it to himself or to her that he wouldn't be able to control himself... not entirely. And if she wasn't afraid, then hey, he'd soldier on somehow. His reply was his lips firmly on hers, and then he traveled downward, neck to collarbone to torso. His hands followed their own path down to her thighs, because there was still the business of a skirt and underwear to deal with.
All Perry had put Pansy through, and she was still so fucking patient with him. She couldn't have imagined that she, the former queen bee of Slytherin, could have tolerated him this long. He couldn't imagine any girl tolerating him, for that matter.
They helped, her gentle kisses, the circles she traced on his skin, that she was so into every moment. She was responsive and assertive, and he loved it. He gently bit at her neck to feel her pulse quicken, pushed against the inside of her thighs to feel how she would react, and kept his eyes open so that he could see it. He pinched the hem her knickers between a thumb and two fingers and pulled them down, then stood to yank her skirt off with them. If Perry seemed overly anxious to get her naked... well... he might have been. But this did make him feel better, more sure of himself.
He gripped her thighs to push Pansy farther onto the bed, so that they could both lie properly. He soon followed, head to head, legs straddling hers, resuming an exploration of bodies that Perry seemed disinterested in interrupting with chatter. His mouth was usually otherwise occupied, anyway. His energy and the heat between them built until the foreplay wasn't enough, and his hand moved down between Pansy's legs.
Had he been thinking he would have used the right hand, but the left had been closer. He didn't notice just how much the right arm had been protesting his weight until it finally gave out.
Suddenly they were lying flat one on top of the other, Perry's search was incomplete, and he wasn't sure which part of Pansy's upper body his forehead had met but she was bony and it hurt. "Ow... shit."
How had she forgotten how good a simple kiss could be, when it was with the right person? For one wild moment, she felt as though she could forgoe any thought of sex if only she could lie there and kiss Perry over and over again until she ran out of breath.
Then his lips moved down from her mouth to her neck and then onto her chest, and after a small whine she had to acknowledge that maybe continuing on from the kissing was the best idea after all. Pansy lifted her hips up from the mattress so that her last remaining clothes were easier to remove and when Perry lay back down on top of her and continued where he had left off, it didn't matter one bit that he was only the second. John couldn't have been further from her mind. All she could think of was that it was Perry who was lying on top of her; Perry who was caressing her skin so perfectly with his mouth; Perry whose hand was, oh, so close-
His sudden collapse caught her completely by surprise and his head hitting her breastbone momentarily knocked the air from her body. It would be sore there in the morning, probably, but as soon as she had got her breath she couldn't help it - she giggled. Possibly the unsexiest response ever, and to make up for it Pansy wriggled down the bed a little way so that she could enfold him in her arms and press a kiss to his forehead. Her lips moved across his brow and down to the corner of his eyes and then to the creases at the sides of his mouth, before she kissed him properly again.
One slim hand slid from the top of Perry's back down between their bodies and began to stroke, slowly and carefully, as the kiss became became deeper and more heated. There was no question of Pansy giggling now, and she wrapped her free arm around Perry's shoulders, pulling him closer to make up for the distance between them that was unfortunately necessary elsewhere. Even that small gap was too much. Pansy wanted to feel his skin against hers, hot and flushed and sweaty, everywhere.
Perry soon got an elbow under him so that his full weight wasn't on Pansy, and he looked quite harassed to realize she was giggling. Here he was, feeling like an utter git because his fecking arm had the sturdiness of pudding, and she thought it was funny.
But the kisses made him feel a little better.
"You couldn't have ignored that?" he murmured indignantly as her lips moved down his face, and by the time they reached his lips he was grinning. His mouth soon conformed to the shape of hers and his embarrassment was happily lost in the euphoria fogging his mind.
The kiss was deep, mouths open and tongues working. He didn't protest as Pansy pulled him closer and his arm curved around her head to bring their bodies together again. And then her hand found a forgotten and completely vulnerable target, but the only reaction he could manage in their fully engaged state was a sharp intake of air. As if the bloody thing wasn't already hard enough, she was inciting him. Not that he was complaining. But Perry liked his control, and right now Pansy had the advantage. Her strokes were so light and gentle, yet the sensation was sending a steady and paralyzing shock through his entire body. He groaned low in his throat, though the sound came out as more of a growl.
Well, she wasn't setting the pace of this night so soon. Perry's hand once again took up its search, traveling over her groin until he found that tell-tale heat. He slid two fingers in, perhaps a bit roughly when he was sure he had the right entrance. If she was in no hurry than neither was he, so he applied pressure to see what kind of response he would get.
But really, he just needed a hand there to guide his way in. He used the free arm to lift himself just slightly, enough to break the kiss, enough to look into her eyes. He was going to watch every minute of this.
His reaction to her hand caused Pansy to smile around their kiss and she kept her touches deliberately featherlight. She meant to have him aching and desperate for her, before the end of what short time they had.
The tables were turned pretty abruptly though, when Perry's hand moved back to where it had been a short time before. She gasped as his fingers entered her, and bit down a little roughly but it was his own fault. Then he was rubbing and her eyes rolled back in her head because he was so close to the perfect spot. She actually didn't mind that he broke the kiss because she could stop actively forcing herself to concentrate on it and instead she groaned and muttered, "Just - to the left a bit. Just a bit."
She felt his body shift as he moved back over her and opened her eyes to see what he was doing, looking straight up into hazel eyes looking down at her. Watching her. It might have been intimidating, even embarrassing, to be watched so intently when you were moaning and biting your lip. It really couldn't look good. But somehow, Pansy didn't care. In fact, she gazed back up at him; and she smiled.
Perry was so absorbed that he didn't even realize what Pansy said at first. Was she giving him directions?? Oh, that was just like her. What did she think this was, a back rub? He could have rolled his eyes. Instead he settled for jabbing his fingers to the left rather suddenly.
"Like this?" Probably not. But he soon resumed this gentle caress, because if anything her comment had amused, not offended him. Besides, he wanted to know what Pansy liked, and what drove her mad. He wanted to know every inch of her.
Currently, Perry could guess that he was on the right track. It wasn't a pretty sight; Pansy's eyes were rolling, she moaned and at one point gaped much like a fish. But even these reactions were pleasing, because it was him causing them. Their eyes met, she smiled and he grinned back, feeling a strange pang deep in his chest. Perry had slept with other girls, but knowing he was wanted, that he could make a girl gasp and scream for him; that was always gratifying.
She wasn't a virgin, at least. Perry had had that experience once in his sixth year. It had been traumatic for him and even more so for the girl (a fourth year Slytherin). She'd been all right afterward and they continued the relationship for a few more weeks, but Perry decided after that that he preferred not to be a girl's first. Of course, now he found himself wondering who else Pansy had been with, but he pushed that thought away for later.
Again there was the internal battle over whether to take this slow and gently, so as not to hurt her, or to go for quick satisfaction. Something told him Pansy wouldn't be pleased with the latter. Besides, he wanted to savor this for as long as possible.
When Perry took the time to consider it, sex was a very strange thing. That two people could interact so intimately, that the body practically depended on it was strange. It felt like weakness to him, a loss of control for someone like him, who didn't show emotion so easily. It was largely physical, but emotion was tangled in it. He wanted Pansy close, and every touch, every kiss, every word murmured breathlessly or gasped in the heat of passion was as much for his satisfaction as for hers. Perry's mind was in a fog, now and then penetrated with the reminder to control himself, but the effort was as futile as fighting the wolf; only, giving in now felt much more gratifying. Sex was indeed strange, loud and raw and sometimes awkward, and still amazingly intimate and honest. Their bodies were entangled and hot and clammy, soaked in sweat and other things, and Perry's muscles shuddered with the physical and emotional exertion of it all. Under their breathing he could hear the party winding down, guests bidding each other farewell, and in the end he held Pansy close, lips against her forehead and fingers in her hair, because he wasn't ready to confront reality just yet. He wasn't ready to let this go.
How had they gone from fighting just hours ago, to this? That's how strange sex was.
For as long as it lasted, Pansy gave herself up to the animal urges of her body and left all of her worries behind her. Just for those precious minutes, there was nothing in the world but herself and Perry; and nothing of the world but the bed they were lying in; and no sound except for their laboured breathing and the sound of skin on skin.
Perhaps this was the closest she could ever come to understanding the man being overpowered by the wolf. If that was so, she would never understand it and Perry was right, because this didn't feel like a terrifying loss of control... it felt like flying. Or how flying would feel, if only it was as easy and as natural as lying still. It had been so long since Pansy had dwelt solely in the moment presented to her, she had forgotten what a natural high it was.
Afterwards, as she lay quietly in Perry's arms, a sweat-sheen over their entwined bodies, Pansy savoured these last few moments. She had half-expected Perry to immediately launch himself out of the bed as soon as it was all over. Instead, this intimate embrace and never-ending kiss to her forehead made Pansy wish they could stay here forever, or at least that it wasn't Potter's house and they could stay here all night.
Already though she could hear people leaving, their footsteps echoing back from the driveway, and through the window over Perry's shoulder the sun was setting. If they weren't gone soon they would miss curfew. Her hands, drawing mysterious patterns onto Perry's skin, drifted to a stop and she shifted so that she could press one more kiss to Perry's lips. All of the longings Pansy couldn't allow herself to say outloud, all of the emotions of the last hour and her wishes for the future, she said as best she could with her silent lips.
Then she rolled out of Perry's arms and, sitting up, began to retrieve her clothes and to dress. The last thing she wanted now was to be the one left alone in a cooling bed while Perry moved away from her. It seemed as though fate was contriving it so that Pansy was always vulnerable when Perry was near. Well, not tonight. Pansy hated other people seeing her weaknesses and she was determined she would not seem weak to Perry now.
Before she had to decide though, he was back and pushing her slowly back to the matress. She went willingly, but this wasn't a game anymore (if it ever had been, really). There was no laughing and joking now. Perry's movements were stiff and his eyes serious as he looked down at her. Pansy was surprised she didn't feel more vulnerable, more uncertain. After all, Perry was only the second man to ever see her like this, only the second man she'd ever seen like this. But this was Perry, and she wasn't afraid, not even for a moment.
Perry, though. He looked... not scared, but concerned, as his eyes skated over her body, and Pansy wanted nothing more than to ease the tension that was all too obvious in the line of his shoulders and the quiver of his arm. Almost as though he'd read her mind, he dropped lower, and it only took a slight arching of her back to press her lips to his in a soft, delicate kiss. Her fingers drew meaningless swirls on his back, following the lines of his muscles, as he caressed her neck and Pansy just enjoyed this feeling of closeness, togetherness.
She barely heard the murmur and for a moment she misunderstood him completely. "Oh, but I'm not a-"
Her voice cut off as she caught sight of the bruising herself. She'd barely even felt it when Perry had inflicted them, as caught up in the moment as he himself had been, but now she understood at least part of this new seriousness. She knew Perry scared himself, and she knew it would be naive of her to think that he would never hurt her. If he was nervous of himself, he probably had his reasons and everyone had lost control at one time or another in the passion of some emotion. So she didn't utter meaningless platitudes or declare some ill-founded belief in his incapability to hurt her. Instead she stroked her hands softly through his hair, looked straight up into his eyes and said, equally softly, "I will."
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There was no denying it to himself or to her that he wouldn't be able to control himself... not entirely. And if she wasn't afraid, then hey, he'd soldier on somehow. His reply was his lips firmly on hers, and then he traveled downward, neck to collarbone to torso. His hands followed their own path down to her thighs, because there was still the business of a skirt and underwear to deal with.
All Perry had put Pansy through, and she was still so fucking patient with him. She couldn't have imagined that she, the former queen bee of Slytherin, could have tolerated him this long. He couldn't imagine any girl tolerating him, for that matter.
They helped, her gentle kisses, the circles she traced on his skin, that she was so into every moment. She was responsive and assertive, and he loved it. He gently bit at her neck to feel her pulse quicken, pushed against the inside of her thighs to feel how she would react, and kept his eyes open so that he could see it. He pinched the hem her knickers between a thumb and two fingers and pulled them down, then stood to yank her skirt off with them. If Perry seemed overly anxious to get her naked... well... he might have been. But this did make him feel better, more sure of himself.
He gripped her thighs to push Pansy farther onto the bed, so that they could both lie properly. He soon followed, head to head, legs straddling hers, resuming an exploration of bodies that Perry seemed disinterested in interrupting with chatter. His mouth was usually otherwise occupied, anyway. His energy and the heat between them built until the foreplay wasn't enough, and his hand moved down between Pansy's legs.
Had he been thinking he would have used the right hand, but the left had been closer. He didn't notice just how much the right arm had been protesting his weight until it finally gave out.
Suddenly they were lying flat one on top of the other, Perry's search was incomplete, and he wasn't sure which part of Pansy's upper body his forehead had met but she was bony and it hurt. "Ow... shit."
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Then his lips moved down from her mouth to her neck and then onto her chest, and after a small whine she had to acknowledge that maybe continuing on from the kissing was the best idea after all. Pansy lifted her hips up from the mattress so that her last remaining clothes were easier to remove and when Perry lay back down on top of her and continued where he had left off, it didn't matter one bit that he was only the second. John couldn't have been further from her mind. All she could think of was that it was Perry who was lying on top of her; Perry who was caressing her skin so perfectly with his mouth; Perry whose hand was, oh, so close-
His sudden collapse caught her completely by surprise and his head hitting her breastbone momentarily knocked the air from her body. It would be sore there in the morning, probably, but as soon as she had got her breath she couldn't help it - she giggled. Possibly the unsexiest response ever, and to make up for it Pansy wriggled down the bed a little way so that she could enfold him in her arms and press a kiss to his forehead. Her lips moved across his brow and down to the corner of his eyes and then to the creases at the sides of his mouth, before she kissed him properly again.
One slim hand slid from the top of Perry's back down between their bodies and began to stroke, slowly and carefully, as the kiss became became deeper and more heated. There was no question of Pansy giggling now, and she wrapped her free arm around Perry's shoulders, pulling him closer to make up for the distance between them that was unfortunately necessary elsewhere. Even that small gap was too much. Pansy wanted to feel his skin against hers, hot and flushed and sweaty, everywhere.
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But the kisses made him feel a little better.
"You couldn't have ignored that?" he murmured indignantly as her lips moved down his face, and by the time they reached his lips he was grinning. His mouth soon conformed to the shape of hers and his embarrassment was happily lost in the euphoria fogging his mind.
The kiss was deep, mouths open and tongues working. He didn't protest as Pansy pulled him closer and his arm curved around her head to bring their bodies together again. And then her hand found a forgotten and completely vulnerable target, but the only reaction he could manage in their fully engaged state was a sharp intake of air. As if the bloody thing wasn't already hard enough, she was inciting him. Not that he was complaining. But Perry liked his control, and right now Pansy had the advantage. Her strokes were so light and gentle, yet the sensation was sending a steady and paralyzing shock through his entire body. He groaned low in his throat, though the sound came out as more of a growl.
Well, she wasn't setting the pace of this night so soon. Perry's hand once again took up its search, traveling over her groin until he found that tell-tale heat. He slid two fingers in, perhaps a bit roughly when he was sure he had the right entrance. If she was in no hurry than neither was he, so he applied pressure to see what kind of response he would get.
But really, he just needed a hand there to guide his way in. He used the free arm to lift himself just slightly, enough to break the kiss, enough to look into her eyes. He was going to watch every minute of this.
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The tables were turned pretty abruptly though, when Perry's hand moved back to where it had been a short time before. She gasped as his fingers entered her, and bit down a little roughly but it was his own fault. Then he was rubbing and her eyes rolled back in her head because he was so close to the perfect spot. She actually didn't mind that he broke the kiss because she could stop actively forcing herself to concentrate on it and instead she groaned and muttered, "Just - to the left a bit. Just a bit."
She felt his body shift as he moved back over her and opened her eyes to see what he was doing, looking straight up into hazel eyes looking down at her. Watching her. It might have been intimidating, even embarrassing, to be watched so intently when you were moaning and biting your lip. It really couldn't look good. But somehow, Pansy didn't care. In fact, she gazed back up at him; and she smiled.
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"Like this?" Probably not. But he soon resumed this gentle caress, because if anything her comment had amused, not offended him. Besides, he wanted to know what Pansy liked, and what drove her mad. He wanted to know every inch of her.
Currently, Perry could guess that he was on the right track. It wasn't a pretty sight; Pansy's eyes were rolling, she moaned and at one point gaped much like a fish. But even these reactions were pleasing, because it was him causing them. Their eyes met, she smiled and he grinned back, feeling a strange pang deep in his chest. Perry had slept with other girls, but knowing he was wanted, that he could make a girl gasp and scream for him; that was always gratifying.
She wasn't a virgin, at least. Perry had had that experience once in his sixth year. It had been traumatic for him and even more so for the girl (a fourth year Slytherin). She'd been all right afterward and they continued the relationship for a few more weeks, but Perry decided after that that he preferred not to be a girl's first. Of course, now he found himself wondering who else Pansy had been with, but he pushed that thought away for later.
Again there was the internal battle over whether to take this slow and gently, so as not to hurt her, or to go for quick satisfaction. Something told him Pansy wouldn't be pleased with the latter. Besides, he wanted to savor this for as long as possible.
When Perry took the time to consider it, sex was a very strange thing. That two people could interact so intimately, that the body practically depended on it was strange. It felt like weakness to him, a loss of control for someone like him, who didn't show emotion so easily. It was largely physical, but emotion was tangled in it. He wanted Pansy close, and every touch, every kiss, every word murmured breathlessly or gasped in the heat of passion was as much for his satisfaction as for hers. Perry's mind was in a fog, now and then penetrated with the reminder to control himself, but the effort was as futile as fighting the wolf; only, giving in now felt much more gratifying. Sex was indeed strange, loud and raw and sometimes awkward, and still amazingly intimate and honest. Their bodies were entangled and hot and clammy, soaked in sweat and other things, and Perry's muscles shuddered with the physical and emotional exertion of it all. Under their breathing he could hear the party winding down, guests bidding each other farewell, and in the end he held Pansy close, lips against her forehead and fingers in her hair, because he wasn't ready to confront reality just yet. He wasn't ready to let this go.
How had they gone from fighting just hours ago, to this? That's how strange sex was.
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Perhaps this was the closest she could ever come to understanding the man being overpowered by the wolf. If that was so, she would never understand it and Perry was right, because this didn't feel like a terrifying loss of control... it felt like flying. Or how flying would feel, if only it was as easy and as natural as lying still. It had been so long since Pansy had dwelt solely in the moment presented to her, she had forgotten what a natural high it was.
Afterwards, as she lay quietly in Perry's arms, a sweat-sheen over their entwined bodies, Pansy savoured these last few moments. She had half-expected Perry to immediately launch himself out of the bed as soon as it was all over. Instead, this intimate embrace and never-ending kiss to her forehead made Pansy wish they could stay here forever, or at least that it wasn't Potter's house and they could stay here all night.
Already though she could hear people leaving, their footsteps echoing back from the driveway, and through the window over Perry's shoulder the sun was setting. If they weren't gone soon they would miss curfew. Her hands, drawing mysterious patterns onto Perry's skin, drifted to a stop and she shifted so that she could press one more kiss to Perry's lips. All of the longings Pansy couldn't allow herself to say outloud, all of the emotions of the last hour and her wishes for the future, she said as best she could with her silent lips.
Then she rolled out of Perry's arms and, sitting up, began to retrieve her clothes and to dress. The last thing she wanted now was to be the one left alone in a cooling bed while Perry moved away from her. It seemed as though fate was contriving it so that Pansy was always vulnerable when Perry was near. Well, not tonight. Pansy hated other people seeing her weaknesses and she was determined she would not seem weak to Perry now.
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