The Daily Prophet - Sports Section
Date: Thursday, 6 July, 2000
Time: Morning Edition
Characters Involved: The Daily Prophet
Rating: G
The Battle for First in the British and Irish League Heats Up!
By “Pitch” Malbum
As we are nearing the mid-point in this shortened and much anticipated Quidditch season, the teams of the British and Irish League are giving the fans some thrilling Quidditch matches! There were not one, but TWO Clean Sweeps this week!
First, the Pride of Portree, leading the league after last week’s matches, battled with the second place Tuthill Tornados. The Pride tamed those Tornados in their SECOND Clean Sweep of the Season! The Pride is so hot their more rabid fans are petitioning to have the Isle of Skye renamed the “Isle of Pride”. Pride Keeper, Meaghan McCormack, has been ruthless in her defense of the Pride goalposts. When asked the secret of the Pride’s success, Miss McCormack credited their Seeker, Darius Payton-Parker, a young player in only his third year of seeking the Golden Snitch for the Pride. “Watching Payton-Parker pounce on the snitch is a sight to behold, 'Pitch'. He’s got the golden touch, but he’s a team player, no doubt about it.” When asked about her team’s plans for future matches, Keeper McCormack responded, “We’re going to go out there and play it one game at a time, 'Pitch'. We’ll go broom to broom with the best of them!” Thank you, Meaghan! We’ll be watching as the Pride goes against the Appleby Arrows next week.
The Pride’s other Clean Sweep came during the second week of the season against the Chudley Cannons. The Cannons got their revenge this week in a Clean Sweep of their own against the Caerphilly Catapults. The Cannon’s side of the Pitch was mysteriously quiet after their fine showing at Ellis Moor this week. When this reporter approached manager Ragmar Dorkins for his comments, the jubilant warlock waved off this reporter without a sound. Fortunately, Cannons’ spokeswitch, Lydia Penwarden Squance rushed out after the team had left the Ellis Pitch in total silence. “Don’t take it personally, 'Pitch'. The team has all taken a vow of silence. They’re certain if they don’t jinx it by saying the wrong thing, their winning streak will continue.” We certainly wish the Cannons luck with that approach! Nothing else has worked for the team since their last League win in 1892. The Cannons have their “by” this coming week, so they’ll have plenty of practice using non-verbal communication before their next matches begin with the Wigtown Wanderers on 17 July.
Quidditch Standings
Teams
Points
Pride of Portree
2410
Wimbourne Wasps
2030
Puddlemere United*
1850
Kenmare Kestrels
1820
Ballycastle Bats
1820
Tuthill Tornados
1770
Holyhead Harpies
1760
Chudley Cannons
1610
Appleby Arrows*
1560
Montrose Magpies*
1530
Caerphilly Catapults
1470
Wigtown Wanderers*
1410
Falmouth Falcons*
1060
*Each week one team has a “by”. These teams have played one week less than the others.