I think I might leave Catholicism.
Because, frankly, the upper level of my Church is becoming increasingly ****ed up, excuse my French. Oh, the local churches have been very nice to me. I like them. Father Bucki has earned hugs. But some what I like about the Church I've been raised with and grown into, namely liberation theology, the way Mom and my catachism teachers encouraged me to think about doubts rather than yelling at me for them, et cetera, are actively frowned upon by the Vatican. The problem is that I think the Catholicism I was raised into is not the Catholicism of the world church. I was raised to believe I was as spiritually qualified to interpret the bible as a priest (within reason, of course. I don't have a degree in theology), and certainly was not raised to believe the vast majority of God's creation is damned. My God is a loving one; my father wouldn't lock me in the basement for years and years if I talked back, why would He? Would God give us free will if he wanted us to be slaves to dogma? Are we going to deny the documented fact that the Bible has changed through the centuries? That sometimes Constantine just decided to Make Crap Up? And--and--and--
And then the Vatican comes out with this sort of statement. Every time I think I'm okay with the way things are going Benny and Friends say something else to make me angry.
I think I'm at an age when Mom won't be entirely pissed at me for leaving the Church, or at least spending a bit of time sitting at a different table during this party. I mean, my sister's been confirmed and will be able to be my little brother's sponsor. Maybe I'll be yelled at for hypocracy, but what the hell was I supposed to say when Mom asked me to help get Sammi get confirmed? "Gee, I really do like the church, but transubstantiation is kinda... eh." Not that transubstantiation bugs me at all, and you'll never see me in an argument over it or not going to church with my parents because of it. I can't say it's not true, but I'm just not exactly sure about it. Fundamentally I was my sister's sponsor for my family's odd form of catholicism, not Benedict's. I'm far, far, far from an atheist.
But staying in a church that I fundamentally disagree with on certain issues because I don't want to bug Mom is nuts. THEY ONLY NOW STOPPED SAYING UNBAPTISED BABIES GO TO LIMBO, GOSHDARNIT.
And they won't let me be a priest. Not that I'd want to, but being automatically barred bugs the hell out of me. Am I not as good? I've been thinking of going to the local Unitarian Universalist church, of all things. But they call a baptism a "dedication ceremony," which while okay, sounds like they're naming a new municipal skating rink rather than a baby. From the outside it seems like a sect built around not being built around something, but I think I might fit best someplace like it. Or the Quakers, but I'm not a pacifist.
Arg. Frankly I don't think there's anywhere I fit in, and I'm not exactly a religious radical. Maybe I'll go be a Shaker, Mom. I'll make some new stools for the kitchen to make up for it.
And then the Vatican comes out with this sort of statement. Every time I think I'm okay with the way things are going Benny and Friends say something else to make me angry.
I think I'm at an age when Mom won't be entirely pissed at me for leaving the Church, or at least spending a bit of time sitting at a different table during this party. I mean, my sister's been confirmed and will be able to be my little brother's sponsor. Maybe I'll be yelled at for hypocracy, but what the hell was I supposed to say when Mom asked me to help get Sammi get confirmed? "Gee, I really do like the church, but transubstantiation is kinda... eh." Not that transubstantiation bugs me at all, and you'll never see me in an argument over it or not going to church with my parents because of it. I can't say it's not true, but I'm just not exactly sure about it. Fundamentally I was my sister's sponsor for my family's odd form of catholicism, not Benedict's. I'm far, far, far from an atheist.
But staying in a church that I fundamentally disagree with on certain issues because I don't want to bug Mom is nuts. THEY ONLY NOW STOPPED SAYING UNBAPTISED BABIES GO TO LIMBO, GOSHDARNIT.
And they won't let me be a priest. Not that I'd want to, but being automatically barred bugs the hell out of me. Am I not as good? I've been thinking of going to the local Unitarian Universalist church, of all things. But they call a baptism a "dedication ceremony," which while okay, sounds like they're naming a new municipal skating rink rather than a baby. From the outside it seems like a sect built around not being built around something, but I think I might fit best someplace like it. Or the Quakers, but I'm not a pacifist.
Arg. Frankly I don't think there's anywhere I fit in, and I'm not exactly a religious radical. Maybe I'll go be a Shaker, Mom. I'll make some new stools for the kitchen to make up for it.