I'm proud of this post, so I think y'all need to see it too :)

It seems the conversations at Nine Deuce's on BDSM are trickling to their end. A good thing, on all counts, but I did want to respond to this. That thread basically discusses whether pain can ever be a good thing, including whether "pain play" is an acceptable term or an oxymoron. I'll ( Read more... )

So someone asked over at Ren's if any kinky people had talked about examining their desires, and Ren recommended reading me.

Not sure exactly why, as all I've been saying lately is that such a thing involves asking the wrong questions, but... just so this person has something to see, here goes nothing.

( details )

An amusing article on chili peppers and why people like them:

The Pleasure Is In the Pain (yes, they actually had the balls to call the article that. WE APPROVE.)

Everyone who loves [chili peppers] knows exactly why they are so popular. When we chili-heads try to explain the appeal to non-chili lovers, we talk about the different flavors of different ( Read more... )

I liked a comment I posted over at Nine Deuce's in the eye of the maelstrom, so I thought I'd share it:

I was responding to another commenter, CJ, who said this:

Alright, this is getting complicated for me.

And I’m agreeing with Screaming Lemur.

Telling other people what they can/can’t do with their own bodies, whether we find what they are doing ( Read more... )

I posted before about a conversation I was having with a woman named Cindy over at Nine Deuce's blog. Here's more of it:

( stuff posted at 9-2's cut for lengthiness )

I'm having a rather interesting convo over here with a woman named Cindy, who was involved in BDSM and then left. Unlike a lot of "I've SEEN THE HORROR" types around Blogistan, Cindy's been very honest and reasonable about her experiences. I thought I'd capture the convo here.
( cut for length )

But real sexual response for me has to have that element of force in it that Ernest is talking about. I almost used his "not wholly consensual" phrase too, but I don't think that's quite it for me. I have fantasies that are, in fact, explicitly about nonconsent too and I think those are slightly different, but related.

For me, sex is all about ( Read more... )