So someone asked over at Ren's if any kinky people had talked about examining their desires, and Ren recommended reading me.

Not sure exactly why, as all I've been saying lately is that such a thing involves asking the wrong questions, but... just so this person has something to see, here goes nothing.

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(xposted to sm-f)

Something I said in a comment thread, wrt the endless "Examine your desires" refrains:

I'm not saying "go wildly against your principles if it brings you momentary pleasure." I am saying "hey, if you're kinky and kink is against your principles because you analyze consensual hierarchy and nonconsensual hierarchy similarly... why not ( Read more... )

To the vast majority of this post I can only say "Exactly! YEAH, THAT!"

I don't agree with the universalizing ("Vanilla sex has none of this." Whose vanilla sex? What kind of sex ed have the people had? Are we talking about thoughtful people or blockheads, kind people or selfish ones? It's not sexual preferences that are the problem, but the way the ( Read more... )