Sex and the Senses
roykay posted here on sex and the senses, and I commented there and thought I'd share here, as well.
For me the visual is important too. I like to see people's bodies. That's probably why I like to look at porn, and probably also why I like the very close-in pictures that a lot of women say they find distasteful or creepy or like disembodied, fetishized body parts. I like looking at people's sex bits... and, well, my taste in porn is not entirely mainstream, so yes, I see plenty of nice-sized and different colored labia and all. I like seeing my partner's erection. It's someone's sex bits, and they're happy, and that's probably because of me, so it's cool. I like seeing women partners' bodies, too, but there isn't really such an obvious analog to that. Yeah, clits get erect too, and yes, sometimes you CAN tell this by sight (I ran across an image in my old porn collection the other day where this was visually quite obvious, and wow was that hot), but it's not as blatant as someone wandering around the room obviously happy that you're there. :)
I like seeing people in submissive poses. That's the thing: for some people D/s is really a lot of protocol-y things, and well I do those too, but what really viscerally means hierarchy/rank to me is seeing someone below me, seeing people kneel or crawl or writhe on the floor or whatever. I key on the physical cues -- the relationship stuff is a lot more about certain kinds of devotion/fealty/etc. than Manager Me.
Sound: Moaning and screaming are fun. Being begged is fun. Dirty talk is a little weird. I want to do it, but I get so focused that speech seems strange. The sounds of SM are nice: impact, blows, cries, other people being beaten nearby, etc.
Scent and Taste: I'm honestly not that big on these, other than the smell of leather. My partner is, though... very big on smelling things. In fact, when we were having a lovely sushi lunch over the weekend, he took his spicy salmon hand roll and sniffed it. He's just very big on the smells of good things.
I remember a while ago telling him that I'd freshly polished my boots. I wanted him to kiss or lick them, but I don't think he has much of a fetish for that except insofar as I'm squishing his nethers with them. :) He asked if he could smell them, and lowered himself down to sniff them, with great happy gusto. I told him he should kiss them while he was down there. Much fun for all. :)
Touch: This covers so much I really don't know what to say. To say I like to touch people and be touched just covers too much. So much of sex is basically touch -- and SM I think is even more touch oriented. I mean when you do SM you're basically touching someone. Yeah, in ways that are forceful and even that can hurt, but it's all touch.
For me the visual is important too. I like to see people's bodies. That's probably why I like to look at porn, and probably also why I like the very close-in pictures that a lot of women say they find distasteful or creepy or like disembodied, fetishized body parts. I like looking at people's sex bits... and, well, my taste in porn is not entirely mainstream, so yes, I see plenty of nice-sized and different colored labia and all. I like seeing my partner's erection. It's someone's sex bits, and they're happy, and that's probably because of me, so it's cool. I like seeing women partners' bodies, too, but there isn't really such an obvious analog to that. Yeah, clits get erect too, and yes, sometimes you CAN tell this by sight (I ran across an image in my old porn collection the other day where this was visually quite obvious, and wow was that hot), but it's not as blatant as someone wandering around the room obviously happy that you're there. :)
I like seeing people in submissive poses. That's the thing: for some people D/s is really a lot of protocol-y things, and well I do those too, but what really viscerally means hierarchy/rank to me is seeing someone below me, seeing people kneel or crawl or writhe on the floor or whatever. I key on the physical cues -- the relationship stuff is a lot more about certain kinds of devotion/fealty/etc. than Manager Me.
Sound: Moaning and screaming are fun. Being begged is fun. Dirty talk is a little weird. I want to do it, but I get so focused that speech seems strange. The sounds of SM are nice: impact, blows, cries, other people being beaten nearby, etc.
Scent and Taste: I'm honestly not that big on these, other than the smell of leather. My partner is, though... very big on smelling things. In fact, when we were having a lovely sushi lunch over the weekend, he took his spicy salmon hand roll and sniffed it. He's just very big on the smells of good things.
I remember a while ago telling him that I'd freshly polished my boots. I wanted him to kiss or lick them, but I don't think he has much of a fetish for that except insofar as I'm squishing his nethers with them. :) He asked if he could smell them, and lowered himself down to sniff them, with great happy gusto. I told him he should kiss them while he was down there. Much fun for all. :)
Touch: This covers so much I really don't know what to say. To say I like to touch people and be touched just covers too much. So much of sex is basically touch -- and SM I think is even more touch oriented. I mean when you do SM you're basically touching someone. Yeah, in ways that are forceful and even that can hurt, but it's all touch.