*sigh*

[fierceawakening]

I've never hid that I've survived some awful shit, but I do refuse to be dehumanized as walking wounded and nothing more (see, in particular, list item 13 and those following it.)

I refuse to accept that my relationship with someone who loves me very much is a deformity.

That is all I have to say.

(And now I exhort those who can to read the good news

Comments

[spiralgirl1]

As we say in Mary Kay "If someone isn't taking your bills to the mail box, don't take theirs to the bank." (It makes more sense in a business context, but it also makes sense in other aspects of life.) Their bullet points about discussing why it's problematic for someone who is of a certain personality type IRL engaging in a certain type of consensual sex is ludicrous. If someone isn't taking my orgasm to the "mail box" (gigidy), I certainly won't be taking their opinions anywhere. I mean, sure, some people are psychologically or emotionally damaged and probably shouldn't be engaging in certain play, but is that really a suitable topic for discussion? I was emotionally abused as a child, but I don't need a third party discussing that with 4th and 5th party persons in order to come to a conclusion about how I handle myself in the bedroom. I mean, for fuck's sake, my emotional damage and how it relates to my kinkiness is between me and my partner.

You can't help people who don't want help. So, discussion of people who may or may not need help because they may or may not be emotionally damaged and may or may not be using that emotional damage to their own detriment is kind of rude and nosy... especially when you don't include said emotionally damaged person in the conversation.

[fierceawakening]

kind of rude and nosy

Rudeness and nosyness are hardly of any concern! We're saving souls liberating women, here! Stop talking about your little fee-fees!

It's my party, I'll act rude if I want to, poke and prod if I waaaant to...

[spiralgirl1]

That's just the thing, isn't it? These anti-BDSM people make the sex lives of people who are into BDSM all about them... I have been re-learning lately that when you make someone else's issues about you, you're throwing your privilege around. We all need to check our privilege once in a while, but these people really just need to shut the hell up and take a step back into their own sex lives for a while.

[roykay]

>You can't help people who don't want help.

Well, you can badger and belittle and dismiss them, and if you are lucky, you will have them beat down enough that they will look to you for whatever salvation you offer. THEN have them "seek help", preferably with one of your buddies. Also pat yourself on the back for being such a grace. Then use them to promote yourself.

As long as you can avoid having a core respect for people and have desire to control them, lots of things are possible.