Hmm.

[fierceawakening]

On a whim, I decided to go back today and read some Dworkin, just to see what it's like to read her now. I've read her as

1. An angry kinkster who thought, out of ignorance, that "feminists" of all kinds hated sexualities like mine; I hated Dworkin at this time, and found reading her actually hurtful and often teared up at it;
2. A self-identified feminist who called herself "radical" on occasion; at this time I was really bothered by some of the comments on BDSM and some of the comments on porn, but nodded my head in agreement with others and admired the raw power of her use of imagery and words;
3. A disillusioned person who'd given up using the label "feminist" because I'd seen a lot of internecine argument and warfare, and lost sight of some of my own beliefs and ideals to try to fit in with a more radical-leaning crowd than I really felt comfortable being part of; once again angry, I felt betrayed all over again by her words.

I'm not so invested in who's doing what in feminism lately. I've found my activism niche, and it's not specifically "feminism" (though of course, WWD issues are feminist issues, and of course I do still care about feminist issues) and I finally feel reasonably happy in it. I've made e-friends, on my own terms, with some feminists of stripes I don't always agree with, and it's no longer A Huge Issue for me. I take what I find useful in what people who aren't like me say these days, and shrug when I think they're wrong, or feel unsure, or feel a certain conversation isn't one I can take part in productively. It's so much better now. :)

I decided to go back and look at Dworkin to see how I'd feel now. I felt that same dislike that I felt in 1 and 3, coupled with a sort of amazement that I ever found the writing particularly good. But... even though I was wincing through parts, I didn't feel attacked. More like I thought it was wrong, and like that raw and magical quality I saw in her writing once had -- at least for me -- rubbed off, leaving not much of interest and no little annoyance at the idiosyncratic style.

I don't know what this reveals, or what I'll think in future. I just thought it was a bit interesting. :)