*sings* A Long and Rambling Pooooost...

[fiendish_thingy]

I've been doing quite a bit of thinking lately, some of it spurred on by darklord_rising's articles. But first I should tell you flisters about yesterday simply because it's silly. After learning over the weekend that my checking account was overdrawn (how did I miss that??) I drove up to the bank to rectify the matter. Sure I could've done it online but I wanted

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[darklord_rising]

Blah I know how you feel about the weight. Summer is the hardest month for me to work out because it's so bloody hot. The buddy system is the best motivation for me. I've been trying to get up super early in the morning and do cardio because it wakes me up for the rest of the day.

It's the costumer in me too. I felt like I was dressing up as a woman I would want to date, you know, not so much BE. LOL.
For the record, this is what I used to look like:
http://s290.photobucket.com/albums/ll250/darklord_rising/Me/?action=view¤t=Picture30.jpg
http://s290.photobucket.com/albums/ll250/darklord_rising/Me/?action=view¤t=meinga.jpg
http://s290.photobucket.com/albums/ll250/darklord_rising/Us/?action=view¤t=romances.jpg
http://s290.photobucket.com/albums/ll250/darklord_rising/Us/?action=view¤t=us3.jpg

Take as much time as you need to figure out what is best for you. Physical transition has its perks, but surgery is irreversible. Do what makes you most comfortable with your body.

[fiendish_thingy]

Wow! It's so, well, odd seeing you as a woman. I've always identified you as male from day one. Not that you look bad in those photos -- on the contrary. It's just... not you.

felt like I was dressing up as a woman I would want to date, you know, not so much BE. <==== THIS. This pretty much strikes at the heart of it, I'm realizing. And vice versa with guys. Though, as I've mentioned a few times in previous posts, it's sort of a struggle to decide whether I'd rather BE them or DATE them... or, the preferable but more tricky option, BOTH. *cough* I'm rambling again. Anyway.

Tit for tat: In addition to the photos that you may or may not have already seen on FB, here're a few of my girlier get-ups. (I don't mind the first one so much... but that's mainly because I was trying so very hard to be hardcore and boyish anyway. ;P )

At a Summer Festival
In Italy
Also in Italy

And the GODAWFUL thing they made me wear at Disneyland.
Ick. Don't miss the Awkward of THAT Costume

*coughs* Anyway. Yeah. Gonna cut myself off before I go on for much longer.

In regards to working out, I think this buddy system'll get me started at least. Let's see how things go.

I had a link fail. :p

[fiendish_thingy]

Er. Horrific Costume Here, Actually

Anyway. Yeah.

Re: I had a link fail. :p

[darklord_rising]

Yeah it's weird looking back at the pics of myself as a girl, because I look at them and think it's someone else. I feel like I always should have been a guy.

WOW. You look so different in those photos! The first one definitely seems more you, the rest don't at all. Very pretty, though, except I can see why you hate the Disneyland costume. Scary.

It's always hard to figure that out...the dressing up and trying to figure out if you want to be that or date that. Before I did a lot of costuming, I was trying to figure that out in the online RPG world. A lot of my friends played male characters they wanted to date, while I wanted to be my characters. So I was confused for awhile since none of them understood what I was getting at. Now I understand why sexuality and gender are hard to separate even though they are technically different concepts.