You need a boyfriend, but only if he has a vagina. Yes, you read between the lines correctly...
You're a lesbian.
Or should that be "read between the labia?"
Not only do you not need a boyfriend...
The mere thought of one leaves you completely underwhelmed and uninterested.
That's not to say you wear flannel shirts and a tool belt.
It's just that you know what you like...
And it ain't a hairy, 9-inch (yeah, right) dick pointed in your direction.
Not unless it's strapped to a hot mama packin? 34C's. Now that's interesting!
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