Cranky Old Farts
Every group has them. They are the old geezers (or geezettes) who constantly walk around mumbling and grumbling to themselves. They sometimes try to mentor the Young Punks of the organization, and then complain about how the Young Punks of today don't know anything (or at least don't listen to what they have to say). They pine endlessly for the good old days when everything was better and they were perfect. And if you ever try to cross them you will feel the full wrath of their crankiness.
Until you actually talk to them for an extended period of time, a COF can sometimes be mistaken for a Grand Old Don / Dame. GODs are just that - far beyond the ken of mere mortals. When asked to help on a particularly thorny problem, a GOD will snort derisively, say "That's obvious!", and then launch into a highly technical explanation that not only solves your problem but those of three other people within earshot - if you can understand it. They will then declare "Now leave me alone. I have important things to do!" as they walk away to go find a comfortable place to take a nap. While cranky, people put up with GODs because of their increadible output - they do more in 10 hours of daydreaming than most people do in a month. While I have never met a GOD personally, I have met at least one DemiGOD and am looking forward to hearing stories from him (and about him) in about 15 years when he achieves full GODhood.
I have been having fun the past few weeks with our COF. When I started four years ago, he graciously took me under his wing, wanting to show me the ropes (i.e. show me how good he was). Everything was fine until I started asking him questions. What is the reason for doing X? Why do you do Y instead of Z? The more I asked him, the crankier he got. Then I started doing things with his software (his baby!) that a) he didn't like, and (more importantly) b) he didn't know how to do. I was starting to cut into his turf. After about a year he was full-blown cranky whenever he was around me.
I have been pursuing a very low-key campaign to change the way that we do some of our design tasks. I wasn't pushing very hard because I knew that what I wanted to do was in direct opposition to the COFs way of doing things. Then about two weeks ago my boss decided that we need to move things along. I was chartered to come up with some guidelines. We had a meeting to discuss them, and the COF objected loudly to some of my proposals. He objected even worse in his comments to the guidelines.
I pressed on. I decided to apply some of the guidelines that he (grudgingly) seemed to be OK with, and asked him to make some changes. He twisted up his face and agreed to make them. I reviewed them, and asked for some minor changes to keep things consistent. His reply? Here is a quote: "THE WORD IS NO ON EVERYTHING BELOW. YOU ARE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET!' That is a direct copy and past from the email I received, capital letters and all. He even copied our boss (who is on vacation this week) on the email.
Big mistake. I think his normal tactic is 'If I bitch loud enough everyone will back off.' It's worked on me before, but not this time. Some of our design information goes to outside customers. We need it to look good, not sloppy like it does now. I'm not backing down on this one - it's too important. He may think that he's dealing with a Young Punk that he can intimidate. He doesn't seem to realize that this Young Punk has 19 years experience, and has worked with people who could do the COFs job with one hand tied behind their back.
I'm going to try to do my best to handle this one professionally. I will practice my skills at verbal tai-chi rather than the verbal kickboxing I would like to employ. I will try to be the calm, cool, collected one even while I'm burning up inside.
The next week will be very interesting indeed...
Until you actually talk to them for an extended period of time, a COF can sometimes be mistaken for a Grand Old Don / Dame. GODs are just that - far beyond the ken of mere mortals. When asked to help on a particularly thorny problem, a GOD will snort derisively, say "That's obvious!", and then launch into a highly technical explanation that not only solves your problem but those of three other people within earshot - if you can understand it. They will then declare "Now leave me alone. I have important things to do!" as they walk away to go find a comfortable place to take a nap. While cranky, people put up with GODs because of their increadible output - they do more in 10 hours of daydreaming than most people do in a month. While I have never met a GOD personally, I have met at least one DemiGOD and am looking forward to hearing stories from him (and about him) in about 15 years when he achieves full GODhood.
I have been having fun the past few weeks with our COF. When I started four years ago, he graciously took me under his wing, wanting to show me the ropes (i.e. show me how good he was). Everything was fine until I started asking him questions. What is the reason for doing X? Why do you do Y instead of Z? The more I asked him, the crankier he got. Then I started doing things with his software (his baby!) that a) he didn't like, and (more importantly) b) he didn't know how to do. I was starting to cut into his turf. After about a year he was full-blown cranky whenever he was around me.
I have been pursuing a very low-key campaign to change the way that we do some of our design tasks. I wasn't pushing very hard because I knew that what I wanted to do was in direct opposition to the COFs way of doing things. Then about two weeks ago my boss decided that we need to move things along. I was chartered to come up with some guidelines. We had a meeting to discuss them, and the COF objected loudly to some of my proposals. He objected even worse in his comments to the guidelines.
I pressed on. I decided to apply some of the guidelines that he (grudgingly) seemed to be OK with, and asked him to make some changes. He twisted up his face and agreed to make them. I reviewed them, and asked for some minor changes to keep things consistent. His reply? Here is a quote: "THE WORD IS NO ON EVERYTHING BELOW. YOU ARE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET!' That is a direct copy and past from the email I received, capital letters and all. He even copied our boss (who is on vacation this week) on the email.
Big mistake. I think his normal tactic is 'If I bitch loud enough everyone will back off.' It's worked on me before, but not this time. Some of our design information goes to outside customers. We need it to look good, not sloppy like it does now. I'm not backing down on this one - it's too important. He may think that he's dealing with a Young Punk that he can intimidate. He doesn't seem to realize that this Young Punk has 19 years experience, and has worked with people who could do the COFs job with one hand tied behind their back.
I'm going to try to do my best to handle this one professionally. I will practice my skills at verbal tai-chi rather than the verbal kickboxing I would like to employ. I will try to be the calm, cool, collected one even while I'm burning up inside.
The next week will be very interesting indeed...