Don't read this unless you already know how much of a girl I am
I'm writing to you now from sunny Florida, home of hurricanes, oranges, the Miami Dolphins, and, as of late, Liz. We're down here until tomorrow getting her settled in and everything. She likes the place, which is good. I, on the other hand, am a f*cking wreck. Seriously. (And I know how pathetic all of this is going to sound and most of you don't really understand what I'm feeling right now, but I'm going to describe it anyway and deal with the ridicule later). I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself for the next four months until Christmas break, especially the next two weeks until I leave for school. It's very hard to accurately describe what it feels like to spend almost every day and experience so many great things with one person for almost a year, then suddenly to get on an airplane and no longer have them as a part of your life, other than via an email or a phone call once in a while. I don't leave until tomorrow morning, but I just don't know how I'm going to handle not being able to turn around and see her face or simply reach out and take her hand. My nickname (Teardrop, for those of you who aren't Carrie, Carrie, or Steph) has never been more applicable than during these past two days. I'm emotionally drained. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't really shape grammatically correct sentences, as you can see throughout this entry. And to make it even worse, by the time I get home tomorrow night my circle of friends isn't even going to be there to keep me distracted and occupied, since Steph's gone, Mulari's gone and Carrie's going to be busy packing then leaving, and that really doesn't leave enough of us to do anything. But as they say, shit happens, life goes on, c'est la vie, etc. I'm sure I'll get through this eventually, it's just really hard because it's the most difficult thing I've ever experienced, and there's almost nobody close to me who's experienced something similar that I can talk to. Sigh...I know, I know, I'm a pansy and a girl, but I can't help it. It's Carrie's fault, for making me start dressing nice. I think that's where it all started.
On a happier note, I went to the Barnes and Noble down here today. I picked up Cranium Hoopla to take to school with me, since I've learned that there are a bunch of people on my floor who like Cranium/Taboo/Scene It/Balderdash. It was only $15, and it looks like it'll be fun. Too bad we never got a chance to play it at home. I also bought Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States", the one that Pincus gave us an excerpt out of last year. I'm sure I'll get bored about 2 chapters into it, but that's okay, it'll look good on a coffee table someday.
Mulari, I'm glad you're liking Alaska so far. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to see you before you left, I had a week off two weeks ago before I left for Canada but I never heard from anyone to hang out. If you have a digital camera take some pictures and email them, I'd like to see what it looks like up there.
Steph, I just read your two most recent messages (I haven't been on livejournal for weeks). I'm sorry it's not going better for you out there. Ditto for senior year. I'm not sure who the two people whose blogs you mentioned were, but I'm willing to kick their asses for you if you want. I know I'm partially at fault for your senior year not going better, I wasn't really there for you like I should have been when you were going through tough times; rather, I just chose not to talk to you until you were in a better mood. I know now how wrong of me that was. You're one of my best friends, and I should have been there for you more. You're right, you were a different person when you came back from Boston and I had a hard time accepting that, but that's probably because I didn't try to accept it. I was making a lot of new friends that year and rather than try to fix things with you, one of the first people I really became close to when I broke out of my shell and actually started having friends, I just chalked it up to you being bitchy and moved on. I'm sorry. You really are one of my best friends, and I wish now that I had put more effort into my friendships last year. I'm sure you'll do fine when you get down to Stanford, you'll make tons of new friends who will appreciate you like we should have. Call me or email me once in a while when you get bored, like I said I don't have anything to do for the next two weeks. I don't leave until the 30th, but I think I'm the only one leaving that late so I wouldn't expect you to fly home a week early just to see me. It would be nice to see you, though. Otherwise, there's always Christmas.
Ok, it's time to go get some dinner so I'm going to sign off now I guess. I doubt I'm going to see most of you before December, so have a great time at school, I'll miss you all. I do have a webcam, I don't know if the rest of you do but it'd be able to see you guys when we're apart. I'll try to update this soon, Wednesday or Thursday maybe, so keep an eye out.
On a happier note, I went to the Barnes and Noble down here today. I picked up Cranium Hoopla to take to school with me, since I've learned that there are a bunch of people on my floor who like Cranium/Taboo/Scene It/Balderdash. It was only $15, and it looks like it'll be fun. Too bad we never got a chance to play it at home. I also bought Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States", the one that Pincus gave us an excerpt out of last year. I'm sure I'll get bored about 2 chapters into it, but that's okay, it'll look good on a coffee table someday.
Mulari, I'm glad you're liking Alaska so far. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to see you before you left, I had a week off two weeks ago before I left for Canada but I never heard from anyone to hang out. If you have a digital camera take some pictures and email them, I'd like to see what it looks like up there.
Steph, I just read your two most recent messages (I haven't been on livejournal for weeks). I'm sorry it's not going better for you out there. Ditto for senior year. I'm not sure who the two people whose blogs you mentioned were, but I'm willing to kick their asses for you if you want. I know I'm partially at fault for your senior year not going better, I wasn't really there for you like I should have been when you were going through tough times; rather, I just chose not to talk to you until you were in a better mood. I know now how wrong of me that was. You're one of my best friends, and I should have been there for you more. You're right, you were a different person when you came back from Boston and I had a hard time accepting that, but that's probably because I didn't try to accept it. I was making a lot of new friends that year and rather than try to fix things with you, one of the first people I really became close to when I broke out of my shell and actually started having friends, I just chalked it up to you being bitchy and moved on. I'm sorry. You really are one of my best friends, and I wish now that I had put more effort into my friendships last year. I'm sure you'll do fine when you get down to Stanford, you'll make tons of new friends who will appreciate you like we should have. Call me or email me once in a while when you get bored, like I said I don't have anything to do for the next two weeks. I don't leave until the 30th, but I think I'm the only one leaving that late so I wouldn't expect you to fly home a week early just to see me. It would be nice to see you, though. Otherwise, there's always Christmas.
Ok, it's time to go get some dinner so I'm going to sign off now I guess. I doubt I'm going to see most of you before December, so have a great time at school, I'll miss you all. I do have a webcam, I don't know if the rest of you do but it'd be able to see you guys when we're apart. I'll try to update this soon, Wednesday or Thursday maybe, so keep an eye out.