(no subject)
Summer needs to be over.
Outside of 'Snakes on a Plane' and JB's upcoming shindig, there's nothing to look forward to. Just three more weeks of family bickering, cleaning up others' messes, doing nothing and feeling guilty about it.
There was so much I wanted to do this summer -- read books, brush up on languages, make some money, travel and be creative. Instead, I mostly resigned myself to babysitting, cleaning, getting nothing done on a daily basis. I truly do hate living here. This house has destroyed me and left me constantly wondering if I'll ever be a decent, loved human being; it's turning Dana from a creative little musician into a materialistic, boy-crazy preteen. She is unable to clean up after herself. She doesn't like to go to any events outside of the house. She'd much rather sit and play The Sims all day. The constant hum of electricity gives me a low-grade headache. There is no love here, only tolerance, and a total lack of understanding. We never talk.
I am grateful for the physical therapy which has been occupying my time over the past several weeks, and I enjoyed my two-week internship early this summer. I am even glad I was able to help out on 'Still Bittersweet', which was a grueling and unorganized shoot, but let me see Ryan on a weekly basis. We got malt milkshakes and they were damned good.
I will hopefully not be returning to Haddonfield next summer. I feel unwanted and unwelcome, with very few exceptions. I'm just a burden or a temporary amusement. 20 years old is too late for teen angst, and yet this place seems to encourage it. My family is supposed to be an unwavering unit of support and love, and yet they are too self-absorbed to be even remotely aware that they have entirely ruined my sense of self-worth.
Hurry up, August 28th.
Outside of 'Snakes on a Plane' and JB's upcoming shindig, there's nothing to look forward to. Just three more weeks of family bickering, cleaning up others' messes, doing nothing and feeling guilty about it.
There was so much I wanted to do this summer -- read books, brush up on languages, make some money, travel and be creative. Instead, I mostly resigned myself to babysitting, cleaning, getting nothing done on a daily basis. I truly do hate living here. This house has destroyed me and left me constantly wondering if I'll ever be a decent, loved human being; it's turning Dana from a creative little musician into a materialistic, boy-crazy preteen. She is unable to clean up after herself. She doesn't like to go to any events outside of the house. She'd much rather sit and play The Sims all day. The constant hum of electricity gives me a low-grade headache. There is no love here, only tolerance, and a total lack of understanding. We never talk.
I am grateful for the physical therapy which has been occupying my time over the past several weeks, and I enjoyed my two-week internship early this summer. I am even glad I was able to help out on 'Still Bittersweet', which was a grueling and unorganized shoot, but let me see Ryan on a weekly basis. We got malt milkshakes and they were damned good.
I will hopefully not be returning to Haddonfield next summer. I feel unwanted and unwelcome, with very few exceptions. I'm just a burden or a temporary amusement. 20 years old is too late for teen angst, and yet this place seems to encourage it. My family is supposed to be an unwavering unit of support and love, and yet they are too self-absorbed to be even remotely aware that they have entirely ruined my sense of self-worth.
Hurry up, August 28th.