Fic: Primum Non Nocere, Epilogue
March 3, 2028
“Blaine, Kayley Williams is back for her follow up, I put her in room three to wait for you. Are you almost done with the chart on Mitch?”
“I’m just entering his latest labs, let me finish that and then you can access it. Is Kayley’s mom here?”
“Not today. Kayley’s quiet, too, so I’m not sure what’s going on.”
“Thanks, Liv,” Blaine says as the nurse files the papers in her hand into the proper folders, mumbling her response around the pen cap between her teeth. Blaine quickly finishes entering the data on the chart, closing out of the EMR system and grabbing his stethoscope from the desk before heading over to room three.
He knocks gently on the door before entering, mildly surprised to see Kayley sitting on the chair by the window instead of on the exam table.
“What’s going on, Kayley?” he asks, grabbing the rolling chair from the desk and sliding it over next to her, sitting on it backwards as he waits for her response. “You seem a little mellow today.”
Kayley sighs, shrugging her shoulders and looking out the window in order to avoid both the question and Blaine’s eyes.
“Did something happen?” Blaine asks, watching Kayley closely to gauge her reaction. She offers a noncommittal grunt in response, but her nose scrunches up as if she’s trying to avoid crying, and Blaine picks up on it, leaning over to grab the box of tissues on the counter to hand to her.
“Your mom?” he asks, not really expecting an answer as she pulls out a tissue and wipes furiously at her eyes. He’s surprised when she nods, turning back around in her chair to face him.
“She called me a freak last night,” Kayley whispers, balling up the tissue in her hand and chucking it at the trash can, letting out a stream of curses when it misses. Blaine hands her another tissue, waiting for her to ball that one up, too, and let it fly. “She says she didn’t mean it, but we were fighting and-“
“And it just came out, right?” Blaine guesses, all too familiar with that type of argument. “Is that why you’re here alone?”
“I didn’t want her with me today,” Kayley says with a nod, taking another tissue from the box and starting to shred it to pieces. “I can’t deal with her, not today.”
“I’ve said from the beginning, Kayley. This is your life, and your medical decisions. You have the final say in everything that happens, not your mom. You’re seventeen.”
“You’re really good at calming me down,” Kayley says, deflecting from the topic at hand as she works to separate the already shredded tissue into smaller pieces. “How do you do that?”
“Years of practice and a pretty understanding boyfriend,” Blaine says with a wink, drawing a smile from Kayley. She stands up to drop the torn tissue into the trash, picking up the ones that had missed when she’d tossed them and throwing them away as well. She heads back to the exam table instead of the chair, sitting up on the papered table and fixing Blaine with a stare.
“Can we just get this done?” she asks, kicking her feet listlessly against the cabinets below the table. Blaine nods, pushing away from the chair and walking over to her, taking his stethoscope from his pocket as he does so. He quickly evaluates Kayley’s vital signs, noting on her chart that everything’s normal before continuing with his physical exam.
“Any new side effects you’re noticing from the increased dose?” he asks as he palpates Kayley’s lymph nodes, feeling for abnormalities. “Or are you tolerating it pretty well?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary, really,” she offers, breathing in deeply when Blaine instructs her to. “It’s too soon for any of the changes to happen though, right?”
“Well, you’ve been on estrogen for five years now,” Blaine says, slipping his stethoscope back into his pocket and retrieving his chair so he can sit down to face Kayley. “You’re not going to see any dramatic changes anymore, not like when you were younger, but there should be more pronounced changes over time, yes.”
“Am I?” Kayley asks, the question completely out of the blue and making Blaine pause.
“Are you what?” he asks, trying to confirm what she’s asking him.
“Am I a freak?” Kayley whispers, her fingers gripping the paper on the exam table nervously, her eyes trained on Blaine’s shoes so she doesn’t have to meet his eyes.
“Hey,” Blaine replies, hooking a finger under her chin to tip her face up so he can meet her gaze. “Have I ever said that to you?”
“No,” she says quietly, miserably, her voice small.
“You’re not a freak, Kayley. It doesn’t matter what people think you should be doing-what matters is that you are doing what’s best for you. Are you?”
“Yes,” Kayley says emphatically, meeting Blaine’s eyes with fire in her own. “I’ve never felt better about myself than this past year.”
“Then that’s all that matters in the end,” Blaine offers with a smile, holding out a hand to help Kayley jump down from the table.
“You’re kinda an awesome doctor,” Kayley tells him as they walk out to the reception desk so Blaine can file her paperwork. She smiles at him as he signs off on her chart, offering a fist bump to her as she hands over her mother’s credit card to pay for the copay.
“I’m glad I can help,” he says sincerely, reaching over the desk to pull out a roll of stickers they keep for the youngest patients. “Besides, what other doctor would give you a My Little Pony sticker when you’re about to graduate high school?”
Kayley laughs, taking the sticker from Blaine and affixing it to her backpack, next to her collection of LGBT acceptance pins and the tiny trans* pride pin she’d gone out to buy with her allowance after her first appointment with their office five years earlier. She hesitates for a moment, before wrapping her arms around a startled Blaine.
“You saved my life, Dr. Anderson,” she says softly when he returns the hug, smiling at her. “Thank you.”
“You saved yourself, Kayley,” Blaine whispers in her ear before they separate. “I just helped you figure out how.”
“Blaine, Kayley Williams is back for her follow up, I put her in room three to wait for you. Are you almost done with the chart on Mitch?”
“I’m just entering his latest labs, let me finish that and then you can access it. Is Kayley’s mom here?”
“Not today. Kayley’s quiet, too, so I’m not sure what’s going on.”
“Thanks, Liv,” Blaine says as the nurse files the papers in her hand into the proper folders, mumbling her response around the pen cap between her teeth. Blaine quickly finishes entering the data on the chart, closing out of the EMR system and grabbing his stethoscope from the desk before heading over to room three.
He knocks gently on the door before entering, mildly surprised to see Kayley sitting on the chair by the window instead of on the exam table.
“What’s going on, Kayley?” he asks, grabbing the rolling chair from the desk and sliding it over next to her, sitting on it backwards as he waits for her response. “You seem a little mellow today.”
Kayley sighs, shrugging her shoulders and looking out the window in order to avoid both the question and Blaine’s eyes.
“Did something happen?” Blaine asks, watching Kayley closely to gauge her reaction. She offers a noncommittal grunt in response, but her nose scrunches up as if she’s trying to avoid crying, and Blaine picks up on it, leaning over to grab the box of tissues on the counter to hand to her.
“Your mom?” he asks, not really expecting an answer as she pulls out a tissue and wipes furiously at her eyes. He’s surprised when she nods, turning back around in her chair to face him.
“She called me a freak last night,” Kayley whispers, balling up the tissue in her hand and chucking it at the trash can, letting out a stream of curses when it misses. Blaine hands her another tissue, waiting for her to ball that one up, too, and let it fly. “She says she didn’t mean it, but we were fighting and-“
“And it just came out, right?” Blaine guesses, all too familiar with that type of argument. “Is that why you’re here alone?”
“I didn’t want her with me today,” Kayley says with a nod, taking another tissue from the box and starting to shred it to pieces. “I can’t deal with her, not today.”
“I’ve said from the beginning, Kayley. This is your life, and your medical decisions. You have the final say in everything that happens, not your mom. You’re seventeen.”
“You’re really good at calming me down,” Kayley says, deflecting from the topic at hand as she works to separate the already shredded tissue into smaller pieces. “How do you do that?”
“Years of practice and a pretty understanding boyfriend,” Blaine says with a wink, drawing a smile from Kayley. She stands up to drop the torn tissue into the trash, picking up the ones that had missed when she’d tossed them and throwing them away as well. She heads back to the exam table instead of the chair, sitting up on the papered table and fixing Blaine with a stare.
“Can we just get this done?” she asks, kicking her feet listlessly against the cabinets below the table. Blaine nods, pushing away from the chair and walking over to her, taking his stethoscope from his pocket as he does so. He quickly evaluates Kayley’s vital signs, noting on her chart that everything’s normal before continuing with his physical exam.
“Any new side effects you’re noticing from the increased dose?” he asks as he palpates Kayley’s lymph nodes, feeling for abnormalities. “Or are you tolerating it pretty well?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary, really,” she offers, breathing in deeply when Blaine instructs her to. “It’s too soon for any of the changes to happen though, right?”
“Well, you’ve been on estrogen for five years now,” Blaine says, slipping his stethoscope back into his pocket and retrieving his chair so he can sit down to face Kayley. “You’re not going to see any dramatic changes anymore, not like when you were younger, but there should be more pronounced changes over time, yes.”
“Am I?” Kayley asks, the question completely out of the blue and making Blaine pause.
“Are you what?” he asks, trying to confirm what she’s asking him.
“Am I a freak?” Kayley whispers, her fingers gripping the paper on the exam table nervously, her eyes trained on Blaine’s shoes so she doesn’t have to meet his eyes.
“Hey,” Blaine replies, hooking a finger under her chin to tip her face up so he can meet her gaze. “Have I ever said that to you?”
“No,” she says quietly, miserably, her voice small.
“You’re not a freak, Kayley. It doesn’t matter what people think you should be doing-what matters is that you are doing what’s best for you. Are you?”
“Yes,” Kayley says emphatically, meeting Blaine’s eyes with fire in her own. “I’ve never felt better about myself than this past year.”
“Then that’s all that matters in the end,” Blaine offers with a smile, holding out a hand to help Kayley jump down from the table.
“You’re kinda an awesome doctor,” Kayley tells him as they walk out to the reception desk so Blaine can file her paperwork. She smiles at him as he signs off on her chart, offering a fist bump to her as she hands over her mother’s credit card to pay for the copay.
“I’m glad I can help,” he says sincerely, reaching over the desk to pull out a roll of stickers they keep for the youngest patients. “Besides, what other doctor would give you a My Little Pony sticker when you’re about to graduate high school?”
Kayley laughs, taking the sticker from Blaine and affixing it to her backpack, next to her collection of LGBT acceptance pins and the tiny trans* pride pin she’d gone out to buy with her allowance after her first appointment with their office five years earlier. She hesitates for a moment, before wrapping her arms around a startled Blaine.
“You saved my life, Dr. Anderson,” she says softly when he returns the hug, smiling at her. “Thank you.”
“You saved yourself, Kayley,” Blaine whispers in her ear before they separate. “I just helped you figure out how.”