Fic: Primum Non Nocere 3a/3
August 28, 2017
“As osteopathic physicians, we seek to treat the patient as a whole, not as a disease or a sum of parts,” the professor begins the lecture with a few slides on the history of osteopathic medicine, and Blaine sets his pen down as he sits back to just listen instead of take notes. “We use everything the modern allopathic physician uses to treat disease-drugs, surgeries, and medical interventions-but we have a hidden tool up our sleeves that allows us to connect more fully with the patients we treat.
Osteopathic manipulation, though on the surface similar to chiropractics, was developed by Andrew Taylor Still in an effort to work with the body itself to promote healing. While modern osteopathy strays from Still’s original premises-that diseases were caused by disjointed bones or the like-the basic premise is still there. Throughout this course, we’re going to teach you to be comfortable using your hands, to be comfortable touching each other in order to promote healing, and we’re going to teach you to be comfortable with your own bodies as well as those of your patients.
This is a course where we learn by doing, not by listening, and it is vital that you attend any and all labs that you are scheduled to attend. Additionally, the easiest way to get comfortable with the techniques is practice. You’re all strangers right now, but within a week you’ll be practicing adjustments on each other while you’re watching TV.”
Blaine laughs with the rest of the class, already feeling at ease with the professor and the people he’s sitting near. Much of what they’re learning he’s already found out on his own through his pre-interview research, but it’s always nice to hear it a second time.
“Now, osteopathic medicine is founded on four central tenets. First, that the body is a unit comprising mind, physical body, and spirit. Second, we believe that the body is inherently capable of self-healing and self-regulation. Thirdly, that structure and function are reciprocally related. That is to say that function affects structure, and conversely, structure affects function. And finally, rational patient treatment must be based upon a solid understanding of the first three principles.”
Blaine quickly scribbles down a shorthand version of the tenets, starring them in his notes for further review as the professor switches to the next slide.
“Now what does this mean for you? Well, most simply, it means that we’re going to teach you to be the kind of physicians who look at everything in a patient’s life in order to provide the best treatment. You may think you’re prescribing something that will absolutely work, when in reality? That patient will never be able to comply with your treatment plan. Over the next four years, and into your residencies, we hope to teach you to consider every aspect of your patients’ well-being: their social status, economic status, personal history, family life, work life, past health history. All of this plays a role into how a patient achieves health.
Now, let’s try an exercise. I want you to reach out both of your hands, one palm up and one palm down, to your sides. As soon as you’ve done that, I want you to take your hand that’s facing downward, and put it on the arm of the person next to you.”
A ripple of nervous laughter cross the classroom as they all do as told. Blaine definitely feels self conscious as he grips his partner’s forearm, his own being held by the girl sitting next to him.
The professor smiles out at them all sitting awkwardly, hands hovering over each other’s arms.
“Now I want you to start feeling your partner’s arm. Just lightly, as gently as you can. You want to be touching just the most superficial layer, the skin, and you want to be thinking about what it is you’re actually touching. How does the skin feel under your fingers? How does it move? If you press a tiny bit deeper, into the subdermal layer-how does that feel different? Spend a little time exploring your partner’s arm, varying the pressure and force you’re using. Think about what it is you’re feeling, experiencing. Let’s take five minutes.”
Blaine starts to gently rub his partner’s arm, something that would feel incredibly ridiculous if the rest of the room wasn’t doing exactly the same thing. He closes his eyes, focusing all his attention on what he feels beneath his fingertips, as instructed. Pressing a little deeper, he notices that the tissue starts to stiffen, becomes less elastic. He moves a bit further down his partner’s forearm, makes note of the different quality of skin as he reaches the hand.
“And you can all let go now,” the professor says, chatter filling the room as people let out relieved and uncomfortable sighs, quickly jerking their hands away from each other. “So let’s talk about what it is we just did. These-” and he pauses to wiggle his fingers out at the room “-are your greatest tool in medicine. There is no substitute for being able to use your hands to understand and feel what is normal and what is not. With a simple touch, we can determine if something is swollen or not, if there’s unnatural tension, if there’s something out of place. With these same hands, we can do our best to attempt to right whatever we understand is wrong.”
The professor pauses to look at his watch, clicking through his last few slides quickly.
“Let’s take a ten minute break, then we’re going to be back in here to start our first lab session on anatomical landmarks and what they mean, okay?”
Blaine relaxes back in his seat, introducing himself to the girl who’d been palpating his arm, one of the few people he hasn’t yet met in their class.
“What do you think of OMM so far?” she asks as Blaine stretches in his chair, the vertebrae in his lower back popping as they stretch.
“I think the idea of it all is actually really cool,” Blaine replies, grabbing his water bottle from his bag on the floor. “And those patients who came to talk to us yesterday really seemed to have gotten better, or at least had their symptoms eased with OMM, so that’s really cool.”
“Have you ever had OMT done on you?” she asks, shaking her head when Blaine offers her a cracker from his pack of Wheat Thins. “Like, in practice or anything?”
“I’ve never officially had it done, no. You?”
“My family doctor was a DO, she used OMT in her daily practice, so a few times when I was younger and pulled something or strained something in sports she’d use it to help. It actually really worked a lot of the time. I’m definitely excited to be learning more about it, that’s for sure.”
“Absolutely,” Blaine agrees, turning back towards the front of the room as the professor returns, pulling up another set of slides to begin his lab lecture.
“Now, landmarks are something that you’re going to need to get used to feeling on your patients. Let’s pair up in groups of two or three, and every group can come up and find a table so we can start.”
- - - - -
August 31, 2017
“I’m going to fail everything,” Jaclyn moans as she drops her head into her textbook, the soft thud seeming to reverberate in the quiet library. “I literally cannot fit this much information into my brain. I thought studying for the MCAT was terrible.”
“Lesser men than us have done it,” Blaine offers, flipping through his print outs with a frown as he attempts to locate a Biochemistry slide. “Or at least that’s what I tell myself every day I try to drag myself out of bed to come live in the library.”
“I actually can’t believe they expect us to know all of this. And then in third year it all goes out the window -- is knowing Chargaff’s rule really going to matter when you’re coding a patient in the ER?”
“Since we have to pass the boards, I guess it does,” Blaine says, finally locating the slide he’d been searching for and scanning it for the information he’d needed. “Although talk to me again in third year and I’ll probably be singing a different tune.”
“Have you looked over the histo lab for tomorrow yet?”
“I haven’t even finished looking over the lectures from the week, so nope. I’m still stuck on Kreb’s cycle, I cannot for the life of me get this down."
“Hold on,” Jaclyn says, digging in her bag and producing a stack of flashcards. “How have I not shown you these yet?”
“What are they?” Blaine asks as Jaclyn spreads the cards across their table, setting them in a particular order.
“It’s the glycolysis and citric acid cycle pathways, each step and enzyme has its own card. I use them to practice piecing the pathways together, it’s helped me a ton while I’ve been studying.”
“You’re a genius,” Blaine says with appreciation, coming around the table to lean over Jaclyn’s shoulder and look at the cards. “This is amazing.”
“It’s something my big showed me at the beginning of the year, actually. She said they’d bring them to dinner and stuff like that and would sit there making the pathways whenever they had a big enough table. Got them some strange looks, but it worked. She got honors in Biochem last year.”
“Are you gonna bring these to study group on Friday?”
“Definitely. Are we still meeting at Luke’s?”
“Seven o’clock, yeah. I think we’re ordering Thai this week, and Angela is baking brownies.”
“That woman is a saint. I’m pretty sure her baking is the sole reason I’m still alive right now.”
“It’s the sole reason I’ve gained ten pounds since we started school, but no one’s counting,” Blaine teases, laughing. “It’s worse than the freshman fifteen.”
“The med school fifty, more like it,” Jaclyn quips, tapping her pen against the table as she looks over the cards, shifting two of them into their proper places. “Does that look right to you?”
“Shouldn’t phosphofructokinase be over there?” Blaine asks, sliding the labeled card to the position he’d indicated. “Or am I wrong?”
“Nope, you’re right. Good catch.”
“Have you done a set for the electron transport chain?”
“Not yet. Do you want to do those? It’s really easy, just grab some index cards and I used different colors to distinguish the different steps.”
“I’ll do those for Friday, sure. Thanks for this, Jac. This is awesome.”
“No problem. Now, should we focus on that histo lab so we don’t have to spend four hours in there tomorrow?”
Blaine nods in agreement, pulling up the slides on his laptop as he shuffles his notes to locate his histology packets.
“So we’re looking at renal, right?” he starts, pulling up the first slide and turning the laptop towards Jaclyn. They spend another five hours together in the library, methodically working through every histology slide and reviewing Biochemistry one more time before calling it a night, Blaine unable to stop yawning as they walk out to their respective cars.
- - - - -
November 2, 2017
“Have you looked over Lipstein’s lectures yet?” Jaclyn asks as she holds the door of the coffee shop open for Blaine, tugging her scarf off as they join the end of the line. “I feel like we covered that shit years ago at this point.”
“I can’t believe that’s the only course giving us a comprehensive final,” Blaine says in agreement, stepping up to order his Venti mocha with an extra shot. “Of all the courses they pick Biochem.”
“I mean, our anatomy practical is comprehensive but at least that makes sense, right? Why do we need to go all the way back to September just to remember how to string some DNA together to make a protein.”
“The worst will be when we get those questions wrong,” Blaine grumbles as they slide into a recently empty booth, already pulling out their laptops and notes to get organized. Jaclyn spreads two binders on the table in front of her while Blaine pulls up a PowerPoint on his laptop. “Then we’ll feel really stupid.”
“I’ve felt stupid every day since the end of orientation,” Jacyln quips with a smile, drawing a laugh from Blaine. “It wouldn’t be a new feeling at this point.”
“The beauty of medical education,” Blaine offers, leaning down to grab his messenger bag from the floor to find a pen. As he’s straightening up to set to work, he catches a glimpse of a familiar profile in the line for drinks, pausing his hand in its adventure around the bottom of his bag as he tries to discreetly get a closer look.
“Blaine?” Jaclyn asks, leaning over the table to see what he’s doing. “You lose something down there?”
Blaine blinks, and can no longer see the man he’d been trying to get a better look at, chalks it up to exam stress and far too much caffeine. He’s transcribing notes from his written PowerPoint slides to his laptop when he finally catches another glimpse of the man, and his heart seems to beat wildly when he realizes it wasn’t a hallucination.
Kurt Hummel is leaning against the bar while he waits for his drink, engrossed in a document on his phone and one earbud in as he listens to music. Blaine’s taken aback at how grown Kurt looks, how much he’s seemed to mature in the five years they’ve been apart. He realizes he’s staring when Jaclyn kicks him in the shin, looking at him pointedly.
“See something you like over there?”
“Uh-actually-“
“Blaine, it’s study time, not flirt with the cute guy at the coffee bar time. What’s going on?”
“That’s my ex, actually,” Blaine offers as an explanation, shrugging as Jaclyn’s eyes go wide. “I haven’t seen him in five years.”
“Kurt?” she asks, all too aware of the history behind the relationship. Blaine nods, and Jaclyn offers him a small smile, reaching over to close his notebook.
“Jac?”
“You should at least go say hi to him, B. The books will still be here when you get back, and you’ll kick yourself if you don’t.”
“I can’t,” Blaine shakes his head, turning back to his notes and trying to focus. “God, what would I even say? Hey, Kurt, long time no see? Remember that time you broke my heart and stopped talking to me and all but dropped off the face of the earth? How’s work? Anything exciting happening?”
“You could start with ‘hi’,” Jaclyn teases gently, nudging him with her foot. “Go, B. I’ll buy you one of those biscotti cookies you love so much if it goes terribly and you need to cry on my shoulder.”
Blaine chews on his bottom lip for a long moment, glancing back over his shoulder at Kurt who’s still waiting for his drink, his phone returned to his pocket. Taking a deep breath, Blaine snaps his laptop shut and stands, jamming his hands into his pockets as he walks up to the bar.
“Kurt?”
Kurt starts when he hears his name, looking up to find the speaker.
“Blaine?”
Kurt’s shock is visible on his face as he tugs the earbud from his ear, barely noticing when the barista slides his coffee over to him. Blaine offers a half-shrug and a smile, reaching over to grab Kurt’s cup and hold it for him while Kurt shoves his earbuds into his pocket, accepting the cup from Blaine.
“What are you doing here?” Kurt asks, a little breathlessly, eyes raking over Blaine as if he thinks he’s hallucinating. “I mean, it’s been-what, four years?”
“Almost six, actually,” Blaine fills in, grabbing Kurt by the elbow to tug him gently out of the way as another customer steps up to grab their coffee order. “I moved to New York just last August, actually.”
“God, Blaine,” Kurt breathes out, offering Blaine a smile. “You look really good.”
“I look like I’ve been living in a library, actually,” Blaine corrects, winking to let Kurt know he’s kidding. “But thanks for the compliment. You look-well, you look incredible, as usual.”
“Working for Vogue has its perks,” Kurt admits, offering Blaine a sweeping view of his outfit with a bit of a flourish. “It helps when your boss loves you, too.”
“So you’re still working for Vogue, then?” Blaine asks for clarification as they slide into an empty two-seat table tucked into the corner, Blaine waving at Jaclyn to let her know he’ll be awhile.
“I’ve moved to the actual published magazine now, but yes,” Kurt answers with a smile. “I’ve gotta say, Blaine, I was a little surprised not to see your name on the incoming first year list back when you graduated. Did you end up at Tisch?”
“No, I actually-I went to Notre Dame, Kurt. I withdrew most of my applications after we-well, I just realized I didn’t want to be in New York, not anymore. I ended up in Indiana.”
“At a Catholic school,” Kurt says with an air of incredulity, sipping his coffee as he looks at Blaine over the lip of the cup. “At one of the most conservative schools in the country. Where they hate people like you. People like us.”
“I didn’t ask for your approval, Kurt,” Blaine says quietly, and the tension between them is palpable. “You made it clear that you didn’t need mine anymore when you cut all contact with me after you broke up with me.”
“Blaine-“
“Look, Kurt, I get it, okay? The long distance thing didn’t work, and it was making us both miserable. I guess I’m just not sure why you didn’t try to call me after, you know?”
“It’s a two-way street, Blaine,” Kurt answers, his voice barely audible. “You didn’t try to call me either.”
“I guess we both made mistakes we wish we could take back.”
“I asked Finn what happened to you, actually, back when you didn’t come to New York and I couldn’t seem to find you. He didn’t mention you’d gone to Indiana.”
“Sam and Tina were really the only people who knew,” Blaine clarifies with a shrug, taking a long sip of his coffee. “I didn’t really want anyone to question why I was doing it.”
“Why did you?” Kurt asks, fixing Blaine with a pointed look as he sips his mocha. “To stay away from me?”
“To give myself a chance at a new beginning,” Blaine says instead with a half-shrug. “To give myself a new start.”
“Did it work?”
“I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, Kurt.”
“I’m really glad,” Kurt says with a smile, and Blaine can hear the genuineness of the sentiment in his voice. “You look happy, Blaine. More comfortable.”
“I am,” Blaine sighs with a contented smile, his hand curling around his coffee cup. “I’ve learned so much these past few years.”
“You never told me what you’re up to, did you? Are you singing still? Acting?”
“I’m in med school, actually,” Blaine answers, and Kurt nearly chokes on a sip of mocha, spluttering as Blaine hands him a napkin.
“What?”
“I’m about halfway through my first year of medical school.”
Kurt is entirely speechless as he works his mouth, trying to form words to respond. Blaine breaks out into laughter at Kurt’s shocked expression.
“Surprising, isn’t it?”
“I just-medical school. God, Blaine. I feel like you’re an entirely different person from who you were in high school.”
“People change as they grow up, Kurt,” Blaine says with a hint of sadness in his voice. “You know as well as I do.”
There’s another awkward silence between them, longer than the others, before Blaine pulls out his phone, sliding it over to Kurt.
“Let me get your number again, yeah? I really should get back to studying for finals, but I’m heading back to Ohio for Christmas break, and we should catch up if you’re around. Or when I get back, either one.”
“Yeah, sure,” Kurt answers, taking Blaine’s phone and quickly typing in his number, hesitating before saving it under his full name. “I’ll send you a text so you have mine. I’m not sure how long I’ll be back in Ohio, we’ve got a cover spread due right after the new year but we’ll definitely catch up when we’re both back and settled, yeah?”
“It was really great seeing you, Kurt,” Blaine says as he stands up, shifting awkwardly on his feet as though torn between pulling Kurt into a hug and offering a handshake.
“You too, Blaine. Really.” Kurt takes the decision away by stepping in towards Blaine, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s back and pulling him in for a brief, comfortable hug.
“Take care of yourself,” Blaine whispers as they break apart, the familiarity and warmth of the hug washing over him. “I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”
“Good luck with finals,” Kurt says by way of response, offering his hand in a wave as he leaves the coffee shop, looking over his shoulder at Blaine, who continues to stand next to their recently vacated table, momentarily stunned into inaction.
“Blaine?”
Jaclyn’s voice is louder than he’d expected, right next to his ear. He jumps slightly, shaking himself as he turns to face her.
“You coming back to the table?”
“Yeah, I’ll be just-I’m gonna run to the restroom, okay? I’ll meet you back there.”
Jaclyn hesitates for a moment, searching Blaine’s face before he turns away.
“You sure you’re okay, B?”
“I’m fine,” Blaine waves away her concern, striding towards the bathroom. “Totally fine.”
- - - - -
November 23, 2017
“Now boarding flight 7823 to Columbus. Passengers needing extra assistance, please proceed to the gate.”
Blaine slings his backpack over his shoulder as he stands, making his way closer to the gate to get ready to board. He’s on the last flight out of JFK, and the plane is overbooked because of the proximity to the Christmas holiday. He hasn’t had any contact with Kurt since they ran into each other in the coffee shop, though Blaine has pulled up Kurt’s number several times, his finger hovering over the “Call” button while he worked up the nerve.
There was some talk of a New Directions reunion party over the break, but since Puck wasn’t able to fly back from LA, the planning hasn’t gone anywhere, and Blaine’s not sure if they’re actually all going to get together. As it is, he’s only going to be back in Lima for the week surrounding Christmas Day, so that he can fly back to the city on New Year’s Day to get a head start on his lectures for second semester.
He’s hoping to find a moment to drop by the Hummel-Hudson house regardless, because it’s been several years since he’s seen Burt and Carole and he’d love to catch up with them, even if Kurt’s not going to be home. They’ve kept in touch over the years since high school by emails and the occasional phone call, and Blaine’s eager to fill them in on everything he’s accomplished.
His row is called to board, and Blaine falls into line behind a young girl clearly on her way home from college, dressed head to toe in NYU sweats. Smiling, Blaine hands his ticket to the gate agent and files onto the plane, locating his seat and settling in for the flight. He shoots a text to Cooper that he’s boarded and about to take off before powering down his phone and sliding it into his bag.
Blaine naps the entire flight, the exhaustion of the semester catching up with him. When they touch down in Columbus, the woman in the seat next to him has to shake Blaine awake so that they can disembark. Apologizing, Blaine grabs his bag and falls quickly into the line of people heading off the plane and into the airport proper.
Cooper is waiting at the baggage claim, and he pulls Blaine into a lingering hug, grasping the back of Blaine’s head as he holds him.
“Coop, this is a little weird,” Blaine says, patting Cooper awkwardly on the back. “People are starting to stare.”
“I’m working on a new emotional piece, about brotherly love. Let me have this moment, Squirt, c’mon.”
Blaine sighs, letting his arms fall to the side as Cooper continues to hug him for a full three minutes. Finally, Cooper lets go and steps back, and Blaine can see that he’s struggling not to laugh.
“Coop, I can’t believe you!” Blaine exclaims, swatting at Cooper’s head. “There is no new piece, is there?”
“Nope, just wanted to see how long I could embarrass you for this time, Squirt. That’s a record-three and a half minutes of utter silence.”
“It’s like you grow backwards in age,” Blaine mutters as they walk over the baggage carousel to wait for his bag. “Next thing we know they’ll be making a movie out of your life.”
“As long as they let me play myself instead of Brad Pitt, sign me up!” Cooper says, helping Blaine lift his bag off the carousel and leading the way out to the car. “I’m significantly better looking than he is. And more talented.”
“Maybe in your dreams,” Blaine retorts, smiling as they continue the banter all the way to the car and most of the way home, Cooper pulling off into the diner they used to eat Sunday breakfasts at when they were kids.
“Coop?”
“I’m starving, let’s get some food and then we’ll head home, yeah?”
“Pizza burgers?”
“Is there anything else?” Cooper asks, holding the door to the diner open so Blaine can lead the way.
“I haven’t eaten one of these in years,” Blaine says when they finally get their food, two overly large, greasy hamburgers topped with pizza sauce and mozzarella cheese. “This looks disgusting.”
“It looks amazing, now eat your burger,” Cooper says through a mouthful of his own, exaggerating the motion of his jaw as he chews. Blaine makes a face of disgust, gingerly cutting off a portion of his own burger and chewing on it thoughtfully.
“See?” Cooper asks, starting in on his fries. “Delicious.”
“It’s pretty good,” Blaine agrees, cutting off his second bite. “Not as good as I remember, but not terrible.”
“Of course it’s not terrible,” Cooper says, tossing a french fry at Blaine, who ducks just in time to miss being hit in the forehead.
“You’re seriously a child, Coop. I thought you’d have grown up by now.”
“You take all the fun out of life, you know that Blaine? Just wait until you see the Christmas present I got for you.”
“I’m terrified,” Blaine deadpans, although he is mildly concerned that Cooper got him something dangerous, like the baby python he’d gotten Blaine for his eighth birthday.
“You love me,” Cooper shoots back, polishing off his fries and reaching across to Blaine’s plate to steal half of his. “Now finish. Mom and Dad were expecting us home half an hour ago.”
“Cooper!”
- - - - -
January 22, 2018
Three weeks after the start of the spring term, Blaine finally works up the courage to call Kurt and ask him to meet for coffee. They agree to meet at the same shop they’d met in before, five minutes from the medical school and a subway stop away from the Vogue office. On the day of the not-date, as Blaine had taken to calling it when asked where he was going, he spends an agonizing forty minutes trying to decide on a bowtie and cardigan combo, even though a small voice in his head reminds him that they’re just friends, catching up after years apart, and he doesn’t need to impress Kurt with his wardrobe.
Eventually settling on a pale blue bowtie to offset his black sweater, Blaine pulls his coat on and heads out to the shop, at least fifteen minutes earlier than their planned meeting time. He’s only mildly surprised to see Kurt already waiting for him at a table in the back corner, two cups of coffee on the table in front of him.
“You always were early for our dates back in high school,” Kurt says as Blaine sits down at the table, taking the cup Kurt pushes towards him. “Two creams and two sugars with a dash of cinnamon.”
“You know my coffee order?” Blaine asks, teasing, drawing a shy smile from Kurt.
“One of the only things I seem to know about you lately,” Kurt says with a shrug, taking a long sip of his own coffee. “How was your holiday?”
“Nothing too exciting. Cooper came home from LA for the week, decided that we needed brother bonding time that we haven’t had in years. He took me to the aquarium.”
“Isn’t he nearly forty at this point?” Kurt laughs, clearly imagining Blaine tagging along after Cooper at the Columbus aquarium. “And a little old for that?”
“You know Cooper. He’s never too old for antics.”
“Good point,” Kurt acknowledges, looking down at his fingers as he fidgets with the lid of his cup.
“Kurt-” Blaine starts, making an aborted attempt to reach across the table, thinking better of it and grabbing his cup instead. “What are we doing? We never had to make small talk, even when we barely knew each other.”
“Things have changed,” Kurt offers weakly, refusing to meet Blaine’s eyes.
“Have they?”
“We’re a lot older than we were.”
“We’re only twenty-four, Kurt. That’s not old.”
“We were seventeen when we met. That’s seven years, and we haven’t seen each other for almost five of those. I just-I don’t know, something just feels different.”
Blaine drinks his coffee quietly, thoughtfully, before speaking.
“You know, I spent forty minutes trying to pick an outfit today,” Blaine says after a while, a small smile on his face. “I haven’t taken that much time to get dressed since my interview for med school, when I had to keep pausing to wipe my hands on a towel to avoid getting sweat on my suit.”
Kurt laughs, tentatively at first before he catches sight of Blaine’s goofy smile, and he dissolves into practical giggles, hiding behind his hand as he struggles to catch his breath.
Blaine reaches out to grasp Kurt’s wrist gently, catching Kurt’s attention.
“We haven’t changed, Kurt. We’ve just grown up a little bit.”
“I’ve really missed talking to you all this time,” Kurt says quietly after a moment, slipping his wrist from Blaine’s grasp so he can rest his hand atop Blaine’s. “That first year, the number of times I almost called you because I saw something that reminded me of you were insane.”
“Why didn’t you?” Blaine asks, and there’s the smallest hint of hurt in his voice. “I would’ve answered.”
“I was embarrassed,” Kurt admits, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “I didn’t want to admit that I had made a mistake, letting you go.”
“I cried for probably three days, you know,” Blaine says quietly, almost a whisper. Kurt’s hand tightens on top of Blaine’s and he bites his bottom lip, making an effort to let Blaine finish. “But honestly? I don’t think I’d be where I am today, right now, if it hadn’t happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“I started to think, really think, about why I had done all the things I did in high school-transferring to McKinley, running for class president, all of it. I started to realize that yes, some of that was because I wanted it, but the main reason I did all that? To be with you, for your happiness and our happiness together. I hadn’t really spent much time thinking about what I wanted since before I was in high school, since before I came out.”
“Can I ask how you ended up at Notre Dame? I mean-I never would’ve guessed you’d stay in the Midwest, let alone at a religious school.”
“They had a great vocal performance program, better than Ohio, and the football tradition definitely played a part. Mainly, I just visited and fell in love. I couldn’t see myself anywhere else. Sam helped me finish my applications; he was probably the only person I told before I got in.”
“I guess I always just assumed you wanted to perform like I did. Which, now that I think about it, is really funny since neither of us is performing anymore.”
Blaine laughs, popping the lid off his cup to stir the last dregs of his coffee, draining it quickly.
“Who would’ve ever thought, huh?”
“How did you end up here though? I mean-I never thought you were a science person, and now you’re in medical school.”
“I actually joined a first aid team at school my first year there, and started volunteering at events and games and getting some experience. A lot of it just felt so natural to me, and I was pretty good at calming people who were hurt or scared down, getting them to focus on me while we helped them or treated them so that they weren’t so terrified. I switched major tracks halfway through freshman year.”
“And you like it?”
“I love it,” Blaine breathes, and his eyes light up. “All of the science classes, the knowledge of how things work and fit together, what makes our bodies move and function the way they do? It’s incredible. And I still get to perform, on weekends and stuff. We have a few groups that perform at school events or parties, it’s awesome.”
“You talk about medicine like I talk about fashion,” Kurt observes with a smile. “It’s really cool, actually. Now you need to tell me about what you’re doing in school, because honestly? I have no idea how medical school works.”
They finally settle into easy conversation, the initial awkwardness of the meeting vanishing as Blaine regales Kurt with stories of gross anatomy lab and OMM lab, details how many hours they spend weekly studying in the library. When Blaine’s finished, Kurt talks about how he’s moved up the ranks at Vogue, how he manages an entire section of the magazine now and loves what he gets to do. By the end of two hours, it’s like they’ve never been apart, and when Blaine heads home to get some studying done before eating dinner, he feels a weight he’d never realized had settled on his heart lift.
“As osteopathic physicians, we seek to treat the patient as a whole, not as a disease or a sum of parts,” the professor begins the lecture with a few slides on the history of osteopathic medicine, and Blaine sets his pen down as he sits back to just listen instead of take notes. “We use everything the modern allopathic physician uses to treat disease-drugs, surgeries, and medical interventions-but we have a hidden tool up our sleeves that allows us to connect more fully with the patients we treat.
Osteopathic manipulation, though on the surface similar to chiropractics, was developed by Andrew Taylor Still in an effort to work with the body itself to promote healing. While modern osteopathy strays from Still’s original premises-that diseases were caused by disjointed bones or the like-the basic premise is still there. Throughout this course, we’re going to teach you to be comfortable using your hands, to be comfortable touching each other in order to promote healing, and we’re going to teach you to be comfortable with your own bodies as well as those of your patients.
This is a course where we learn by doing, not by listening, and it is vital that you attend any and all labs that you are scheduled to attend. Additionally, the easiest way to get comfortable with the techniques is practice. You’re all strangers right now, but within a week you’ll be practicing adjustments on each other while you’re watching TV.”
Blaine laughs with the rest of the class, already feeling at ease with the professor and the people he’s sitting near. Much of what they’re learning he’s already found out on his own through his pre-interview research, but it’s always nice to hear it a second time.
“Now, osteopathic medicine is founded on four central tenets. First, that the body is a unit comprising mind, physical body, and spirit. Second, we believe that the body is inherently capable of self-healing and self-regulation. Thirdly, that structure and function are reciprocally related. That is to say that function affects structure, and conversely, structure affects function. And finally, rational patient treatment must be based upon a solid understanding of the first three principles.”
Blaine quickly scribbles down a shorthand version of the tenets, starring them in his notes for further review as the professor switches to the next slide.
“Now what does this mean for you? Well, most simply, it means that we’re going to teach you to be the kind of physicians who look at everything in a patient’s life in order to provide the best treatment. You may think you’re prescribing something that will absolutely work, when in reality? That patient will never be able to comply with your treatment plan. Over the next four years, and into your residencies, we hope to teach you to consider every aspect of your patients’ well-being: their social status, economic status, personal history, family life, work life, past health history. All of this plays a role into how a patient achieves health.
Now, let’s try an exercise. I want you to reach out both of your hands, one palm up and one palm down, to your sides. As soon as you’ve done that, I want you to take your hand that’s facing downward, and put it on the arm of the person next to you.”
A ripple of nervous laughter cross the classroom as they all do as told. Blaine definitely feels self conscious as he grips his partner’s forearm, his own being held by the girl sitting next to him.
The professor smiles out at them all sitting awkwardly, hands hovering over each other’s arms.
“Now I want you to start feeling your partner’s arm. Just lightly, as gently as you can. You want to be touching just the most superficial layer, the skin, and you want to be thinking about what it is you’re actually touching. How does the skin feel under your fingers? How does it move? If you press a tiny bit deeper, into the subdermal layer-how does that feel different? Spend a little time exploring your partner’s arm, varying the pressure and force you’re using. Think about what it is you’re feeling, experiencing. Let’s take five minutes.”
Blaine starts to gently rub his partner’s arm, something that would feel incredibly ridiculous if the rest of the room wasn’t doing exactly the same thing. He closes his eyes, focusing all his attention on what he feels beneath his fingertips, as instructed. Pressing a little deeper, he notices that the tissue starts to stiffen, becomes less elastic. He moves a bit further down his partner’s forearm, makes note of the different quality of skin as he reaches the hand.
“And you can all let go now,” the professor says, chatter filling the room as people let out relieved and uncomfortable sighs, quickly jerking their hands away from each other. “So let’s talk about what it is we just did. These-” and he pauses to wiggle his fingers out at the room “-are your greatest tool in medicine. There is no substitute for being able to use your hands to understand and feel what is normal and what is not. With a simple touch, we can determine if something is swollen or not, if there’s unnatural tension, if there’s something out of place. With these same hands, we can do our best to attempt to right whatever we understand is wrong.”
The professor pauses to look at his watch, clicking through his last few slides quickly.
“Let’s take a ten minute break, then we’re going to be back in here to start our first lab session on anatomical landmarks and what they mean, okay?”
Blaine relaxes back in his seat, introducing himself to the girl who’d been palpating his arm, one of the few people he hasn’t yet met in their class.
“What do you think of OMM so far?” she asks as Blaine stretches in his chair, the vertebrae in his lower back popping as they stretch.
“I think the idea of it all is actually really cool,” Blaine replies, grabbing his water bottle from his bag on the floor. “And those patients who came to talk to us yesterday really seemed to have gotten better, or at least had their symptoms eased with OMM, so that’s really cool.”
“Have you ever had OMT done on you?” she asks, shaking her head when Blaine offers her a cracker from his pack of Wheat Thins. “Like, in practice or anything?”
“I’ve never officially had it done, no. You?”
“My family doctor was a DO, she used OMT in her daily practice, so a few times when I was younger and pulled something or strained something in sports she’d use it to help. It actually really worked a lot of the time. I’m definitely excited to be learning more about it, that’s for sure.”
“Absolutely,” Blaine agrees, turning back towards the front of the room as the professor returns, pulling up another set of slides to begin his lab lecture.
“Now, landmarks are something that you’re going to need to get used to feeling on your patients. Let’s pair up in groups of two or three, and every group can come up and find a table so we can start.”
- - - - -
August 31, 2017
“I’m going to fail everything,” Jaclyn moans as she drops her head into her textbook, the soft thud seeming to reverberate in the quiet library. “I literally cannot fit this much information into my brain. I thought studying for the MCAT was terrible.”
“Lesser men than us have done it,” Blaine offers, flipping through his print outs with a frown as he attempts to locate a Biochemistry slide. “Or at least that’s what I tell myself every day I try to drag myself out of bed to come live in the library.”
“I actually can’t believe they expect us to know all of this. And then in third year it all goes out the window -- is knowing Chargaff’s rule really going to matter when you’re coding a patient in the ER?”
“Since we have to pass the boards, I guess it does,” Blaine says, finally locating the slide he’d been searching for and scanning it for the information he’d needed. “Although talk to me again in third year and I’ll probably be singing a different tune.”
“Have you looked over the histo lab for tomorrow yet?”
“I haven’t even finished looking over the lectures from the week, so nope. I’m still stuck on Kreb’s cycle, I cannot for the life of me get this down."
“Hold on,” Jaclyn says, digging in her bag and producing a stack of flashcards. “How have I not shown you these yet?”
“What are they?” Blaine asks as Jaclyn spreads the cards across their table, setting them in a particular order.
“It’s the glycolysis and citric acid cycle pathways, each step and enzyme has its own card. I use them to practice piecing the pathways together, it’s helped me a ton while I’ve been studying.”
“You’re a genius,” Blaine says with appreciation, coming around the table to lean over Jaclyn’s shoulder and look at the cards. “This is amazing.”
“It’s something my big showed me at the beginning of the year, actually. She said they’d bring them to dinner and stuff like that and would sit there making the pathways whenever they had a big enough table. Got them some strange looks, but it worked. She got honors in Biochem last year.”
“Are you gonna bring these to study group on Friday?”
“Definitely. Are we still meeting at Luke’s?”
“Seven o’clock, yeah. I think we’re ordering Thai this week, and Angela is baking brownies.”
“That woman is a saint. I’m pretty sure her baking is the sole reason I’m still alive right now.”
“It’s the sole reason I’ve gained ten pounds since we started school, but no one’s counting,” Blaine teases, laughing. “It’s worse than the freshman fifteen.”
“The med school fifty, more like it,” Jaclyn quips, tapping her pen against the table as she looks over the cards, shifting two of them into their proper places. “Does that look right to you?”
“Shouldn’t phosphofructokinase be over there?” Blaine asks, sliding the labeled card to the position he’d indicated. “Or am I wrong?”
“Nope, you’re right. Good catch.”
“Have you done a set for the electron transport chain?”
“Not yet. Do you want to do those? It’s really easy, just grab some index cards and I used different colors to distinguish the different steps.”
“I’ll do those for Friday, sure. Thanks for this, Jac. This is awesome.”
“No problem. Now, should we focus on that histo lab so we don’t have to spend four hours in there tomorrow?”
Blaine nods in agreement, pulling up the slides on his laptop as he shuffles his notes to locate his histology packets.
“So we’re looking at renal, right?” he starts, pulling up the first slide and turning the laptop towards Jaclyn. They spend another five hours together in the library, methodically working through every histology slide and reviewing Biochemistry one more time before calling it a night, Blaine unable to stop yawning as they walk out to their respective cars.
- - - - -
November 2, 2017
“Have you looked over Lipstein’s lectures yet?” Jaclyn asks as she holds the door of the coffee shop open for Blaine, tugging her scarf off as they join the end of the line. “I feel like we covered that shit years ago at this point.”
“I can’t believe that’s the only course giving us a comprehensive final,” Blaine says in agreement, stepping up to order his Venti mocha with an extra shot. “Of all the courses they pick Biochem.”
“I mean, our anatomy practical is comprehensive but at least that makes sense, right? Why do we need to go all the way back to September just to remember how to string some DNA together to make a protein.”
“The worst will be when we get those questions wrong,” Blaine grumbles as they slide into a recently empty booth, already pulling out their laptops and notes to get organized. Jaclyn spreads two binders on the table in front of her while Blaine pulls up a PowerPoint on his laptop. “Then we’ll feel really stupid.”
“I’ve felt stupid every day since the end of orientation,” Jacyln quips with a smile, drawing a laugh from Blaine. “It wouldn’t be a new feeling at this point.”
“The beauty of medical education,” Blaine offers, leaning down to grab his messenger bag from the floor to find a pen. As he’s straightening up to set to work, he catches a glimpse of a familiar profile in the line for drinks, pausing his hand in its adventure around the bottom of his bag as he tries to discreetly get a closer look.
“Blaine?” Jaclyn asks, leaning over the table to see what he’s doing. “You lose something down there?”
Blaine blinks, and can no longer see the man he’d been trying to get a better look at, chalks it up to exam stress and far too much caffeine. He’s transcribing notes from his written PowerPoint slides to his laptop when he finally catches another glimpse of the man, and his heart seems to beat wildly when he realizes it wasn’t a hallucination.
Kurt Hummel is leaning against the bar while he waits for his drink, engrossed in a document on his phone and one earbud in as he listens to music. Blaine’s taken aback at how grown Kurt looks, how much he’s seemed to mature in the five years they’ve been apart. He realizes he’s staring when Jaclyn kicks him in the shin, looking at him pointedly.
“See something you like over there?”
“Uh-actually-“
“Blaine, it’s study time, not flirt with the cute guy at the coffee bar time. What’s going on?”
“That’s my ex, actually,” Blaine offers as an explanation, shrugging as Jaclyn’s eyes go wide. “I haven’t seen him in five years.”
“Kurt?” she asks, all too aware of the history behind the relationship. Blaine nods, and Jaclyn offers him a small smile, reaching over to close his notebook.
“Jac?”
“You should at least go say hi to him, B. The books will still be here when you get back, and you’ll kick yourself if you don’t.”
“I can’t,” Blaine shakes his head, turning back to his notes and trying to focus. “God, what would I even say? Hey, Kurt, long time no see? Remember that time you broke my heart and stopped talking to me and all but dropped off the face of the earth? How’s work? Anything exciting happening?”
“You could start with ‘hi’,” Jaclyn teases gently, nudging him with her foot. “Go, B. I’ll buy you one of those biscotti cookies you love so much if it goes terribly and you need to cry on my shoulder.”
Blaine chews on his bottom lip for a long moment, glancing back over his shoulder at Kurt who’s still waiting for his drink, his phone returned to his pocket. Taking a deep breath, Blaine snaps his laptop shut and stands, jamming his hands into his pockets as he walks up to the bar.
“Kurt?”
Kurt starts when he hears his name, looking up to find the speaker.
“Blaine?”
Kurt’s shock is visible on his face as he tugs the earbud from his ear, barely noticing when the barista slides his coffee over to him. Blaine offers a half-shrug and a smile, reaching over to grab Kurt’s cup and hold it for him while Kurt shoves his earbuds into his pocket, accepting the cup from Blaine.
“What are you doing here?” Kurt asks, a little breathlessly, eyes raking over Blaine as if he thinks he’s hallucinating. “I mean, it’s been-what, four years?”
“Almost six, actually,” Blaine fills in, grabbing Kurt by the elbow to tug him gently out of the way as another customer steps up to grab their coffee order. “I moved to New York just last August, actually.”
“God, Blaine,” Kurt breathes out, offering Blaine a smile. “You look really good.”
“I look like I’ve been living in a library, actually,” Blaine corrects, winking to let Kurt know he’s kidding. “But thanks for the compliment. You look-well, you look incredible, as usual.”
“Working for Vogue has its perks,” Kurt admits, offering Blaine a sweeping view of his outfit with a bit of a flourish. “It helps when your boss loves you, too.”
“So you’re still working for Vogue, then?” Blaine asks for clarification as they slide into an empty two-seat table tucked into the corner, Blaine waving at Jaclyn to let her know he’ll be awhile.
“I’ve moved to the actual published magazine now, but yes,” Kurt answers with a smile. “I’ve gotta say, Blaine, I was a little surprised not to see your name on the incoming first year list back when you graduated. Did you end up at Tisch?”
“No, I actually-I went to Notre Dame, Kurt. I withdrew most of my applications after we-well, I just realized I didn’t want to be in New York, not anymore. I ended up in Indiana.”
“At a Catholic school,” Kurt says with an air of incredulity, sipping his coffee as he looks at Blaine over the lip of the cup. “At one of the most conservative schools in the country. Where they hate people like you. People like us.”
“I didn’t ask for your approval, Kurt,” Blaine says quietly, and the tension between them is palpable. “You made it clear that you didn’t need mine anymore when you cut all contact with me after you broke up with me.”
“Blaine-“
“Look, Kurt, I get it, okay? The long distance thing didn’t work, and it was making us both miserable. I guess I’m just not sure why you didn’t try to call me after, you know?”
“It’s a two-way street, Blaine,” Kurt answers, his voice barely audible. “You didn’t try to call me either.”
“I guess we both made mistakes we wish we could take back.”
“I asked Finn what happened to you, actually, back when you didn’t come to New York and I couldn’t seem to find you. He didn’t mention you’d gone to Indiana.”
“Sam and Tina were really the only people who knew,” Blaine clarifies with a shrug, taking a long sip of his coffee. “I didn’t really want anyone to question why I was doing it.”
“Why did you?” Kurt asks, fixing Blaine with a pointed look as he sips his mocha. “To stay away from me?”
“To give myself a chance at a new beginning,” Blaine says instead with a half-shrug. “To give myself a new start.”
“Did it work?”
“I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, Kurt.”
“I’m really glad,” Kurt says with a smile, and Blaine can hear the genuineness of the sentiment in his voice. “You look happy, Blaine. More comfortable.”
“I am,” Blaine sighs with a contented smile, his hand curling around his coffee cup. “I’ve learned so much these past few years.”
“You never told me what you’re up to, did you? Are you singing still? Acting?”
“I’m in med school, actually,” Blaine answers, and Kurt nearly chokes on a sip of mocha, spluttering as Blaine hands him a napkin.
“What?”
“I’m about halfway through my first year of medical school.”
Kurt is entirely speechless as he works his mouth, trying to form words to respond. Blaine breaks out into laughter at Kurt’s shocked expression.
“Surprising, isn’t it?”
“I just-medical school. God, Blaine. I feel like you’re an entirely different person from who you were in high school.”
“People change as they grow up, Kurt,” Blaine says with a hint of sadness in his voice. “You know as well as I do.”
There’s another awkward silence between them, longer than the others, before Blaine pulls out his phone, sliding it over to Kurt.
“Let me get your number again, yeah? I really should get back to studying for finals, but I’m heading back to Ohio for Christmas break, and we should catch up if you’re around. Or when I get back, either one.”
“Yeah, sure,” Kurt answers, taking Blaine’s phone and quickly typing in his number, hesitating before saving it under his full name. “I’ll send you a text so you have mine. I’m not sure how long I’ll be back in Ohio, we’ve got a cover spread due right after the new year but we’ll definitely catch up when we’re both back and settled, yeah?”
“It was really great seeing you, Kurt,” Blaine says as he stands up, shifting awkwardly on his feet as though torn between pulling Kurt into a hug and offering a handshake.
“You too, Blaine. Really.” Kurt takes the decision away by stepping in towards Blaine, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s back and pulling him in for a brief, comfortable hug.
“Take care of yourself,” Blaine whispers as they break apart, the familiarity and warmth of the hug washing over him. “I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”
“Good luck with finals,” Kurt says by way of response, offering his hand in a wave as he leaves the coffee shop, looking over his shoulder at Blaine, who continues to stand next to their recently vacated table, momentarily stunned into inaction.
“Blaine?”
Jaclyn’s voice is louder than he’d expected, right next to his ear. He jumps slightly, shaking himself as he turns to face her.
“You coming back to the table?”
“Yeah, I’ll be just-I’m gonna run to the restroom, okay? I’ll meet you back there.”
Jaclyn hesitates for a moment, searching Blaine’s face before he turns away.
“You sure you’re okay, B?”
“I’m fine,” Blaine waves away her concern, striding towards the bathroom. “Totally fine.”
- - - - -
November 23, 2017
“Now boarding flight 7823 to Columbus. Passengers needing extra assistance, please proceed to the gate.”
Blaine slings his backpack over his shoulder as he stands, making his way closer to the gate to get ready to board. He’s on the last flight out of JFK, and the plane is overbooked because of the proximity to the Christmas holiday. He hasn’t had any contact with Kurt since they ran into each other in the coffee shop, though Blaine has pulled up Kurt’s number several times, his finger hovering over the “Call” button while he worked up the nerve.
There was some talk of a New Directions reunion party over the break, but since Puck wasn’t able to fly back from LA, the planning hasn’t gone anywhere, and Blaine’s not sure if they’re actually all going to get together. As it is, he’s only going to be back in Lima for the week surrounding Christmas Day, so that he can fly back to the city on New Year’s Day to get a head start on his lectures for second semester.
He’s hoping to find a moment to drop by the Hummel-Hudson house regardless, because it’s been several years since he’s seen Burt and Carole and he’d love to catch up with them, even if Kurt’s not going to be home. They’ve kept in touch over the years since high school by emails and the occasional phone call, and Blaine’s eager to fill them in on everything he’s accomplished.
His row is called to board, and Blaine falls into line behind a young girl clearly on her way home from college, dressed head to toe in NYU sweats. Smiling, Blaine hands his ticket to the gate agent and files onto the plane, locating his seat and settling in for the flight. He shoots a text to Cooper that he’s boarded and about to take off before powering down his phone and sliding it into his bag.
Blaine naps the entire flight, the exhaustion of the semester catching up with him. When they touch down in Columbus, the woman in the seat next to him has to shake Blaine awake so that they can disembark. Apologizing, Blaine grabs his bag and falls quickly into the line of people heading off the plane and into the airport proper.
Cooper is waiting at the baggage claim, and he pulls Blaine into a lingering hug, grasping the back of Blaine’s head as he holds him.
“Coop, this is a little weird,” Blaine says, patting Cooper awkwardly on the back. “People are starting to stare.”
“I’m working on a new emotional piece, about brotherly love. Let me have this moment, Squirt, c’mon.”
Blaine sighs, letting his arms fall to the side as Cooper continues to hug him for a full three minutes. Finally, Cooper lets go and steps back, and Blaine can see that he’s struggling not to laugh.
“Coop, I can’t believe you!” Blaine exclaims, swatting at Cooper’s head. “There is no new piece, is there?”
“Nope, just wanted to see how long I could embarrass you for this time, Squirt. That’s a record-three and a half minutes of utter silence.”
“It’s like you grow backwards in age,” Blaine mutters as they walk over the baggage carousel to wait for his bag. “Next thing we know they’ll be making a movie out of your life.”
“As long as they let me play myself instead of Brad Pitt, sign me up!” Cooper says, helping Blaine lift his bag off the carousel and leading the way out to the car. “I’m significantly better looking than he is. And more talented.”
“Maybe in your dreams,” Blaine retorts, smiling as they continue the banter all the way to the car and most of the way home, Cooper pulling off into the diner they used to eat Sunday breakfasts at when they were kids.
“Coop?”
“I’m starving, let’s get some food and then we’ll head home, yeah?”
“Pizza burgers?”
“Is there anything else?” Cooper asks, holding the door to the diner open so Blaine can lead the way.
“I haven’t eaten one of these in years,” Blaine says when they finally get their food, two overly large, greasy hamburgers topped with pizza sauce and mozzarella cheese. “This looks disgusting.”
“It looks amazing, now eat your burger,” Cooper says through a mouthful of his own, exaggerating the motion of his jaw as he chews. Blaine makes a face of disgust, gingerly cutting off a portion of his own burger and chewing on it thoughtfully.
“See?” Cooper asks, starting in on his fries. “Delicious.”
“It’s pretty good,” Blaine agrees, cutting off his second bite. “Not as good as I remember, but not terrible.”
“Of course it’s not terrible,” Cooper says, tossing a french fry at Blaine, who ducks just in time to miss being hit in the forehead.
“You’re seriously a child, Coop. I thought you’d have grown up by now.”
“You take all the fun out of life, you know that Blaine? Just wait until you see the Christmas present I got for you.”
“I’m terrified,” Blaine deadpans, although he is mildly concerned that Cooper got him something dangerous, like the baby python he’d gotten Blaine for his eighth birthday.
“You love me,” Cooper shoots back, polishing off his fries and reaching across to Blaine’s plate to steal half of his. “Now finish. Mom and Dad were expecting us home half an hour ago.”
“Cooper!”
- - - - -
January 22, 2018
Three weeks after the start of the spring term, Blaine finally works up the courage to call Kurt and ask him to meet for coffee. They agree to meet at the same shop they’d met in before, five minutes from the medical school and a subway stop away from the Vogue office. On the day of the not-date, as Blaine had taken to calling it when asked where he was going, he spends an agonizing forty minutes trying to decide on a bowtie and cardigan combo, even though a small voice in his head reminds him that they’re just friends, catching up after years apart, and he doesn’t need to impress Kurt with his wardrobe.
Eventually settling on a pale blue bowtie to offset his black sweater, Blaine pulls his coat on and heads out to the shop, at least fifteen minutes earlier than their planned meeting time. He’s only mildly surprised to see Kurt already waiting for him at a table in the back corner, two cups of coffee on the table in front of him.
“You always were early for our dates back in high school,” Kurt says as Blaine sits down at the table, taking the cup Kurt pushes towards him. “Two creams and two sugars with a dash of cinnamon.”
“You know my coffee order?” Blaine asks, teasing, drawing a shy smile from Kurt.
“One of the only things I seem to know about you lately,” Kurt says with a shrug, taking a long sip of his own coffee. “How was your holiday?”
“Nothing too exciting. Cooper came home from LA for the week, decided that we needed brother bonding time that we haven’t had in years. He took me to the aquarium.”
“Isn’t he nearly forty at this point?” Kurt laughs, clearly imagining Blaine tagging along after Cooper at the Columbus aquarium. “And a little old for that?”
“You know Cooper. He’s never too old for antics.”
“Good point,” Kurt acknowledges, looking down at his fingers as he fidgets with the lid of his cup.
“Kurt-” Blaine starts, making an aborted attempt to reach across the table, thinking better of it and grabbing his cup instead. “What are we doing? We never had to make small talk, even when we barely knew each other.”
“Things have changed,” Kurt offers weakly, refusing to meet Blaine’s eyes.
“Have they?”
“We’re a lot older than we were.”
“We’re only twenty-four, Kurt. That’s not old.”
“We were seventeen when we met. That’s seven years, and we haven’t seen each other for almost five of those. I just-I don’t know, something just feels different.”
Blaine drinks his coffee quietly, thoughtfully, before speaking.
“You know, I spent forty minutes trying to pick an outfit today,” Blaine says after a while, a small smile on his face. “I haven’t taken that much time to get dressed since my interview for med school, when I had to keep pausing to wipe my hands on a towel to avoid getting sweat on my suit.”
Kurt laughs, tentatively at first before he catches sight of Blaine’s goofy smile, and he dissolves into practical giggles, hiding behind his hand as he struggles to catch his breath.
Blaine reaches out to grasp Kurt’s wrist gently, catching Kurt’s attention.
“We haven’t changed, Kurt. We’ve just grown up a little bit.”
“I’ve really missed talking to you all this time,” Kurt says quietly after a moment, slipping his wrist from Blaine’s grasp so he can rest his hand atop Blaine’s. “That first year, the number of times I almost called you because I saw something that reminded me of you were insane.”
“Why didn’t you?” Blaine asks, and there’s the smallest hint of hurt in his voice. “I would’ve answered.”
“I was embarrassed,” Kurt admits, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “I didn’t want to admit that I had made a mistake, letting you go.”
“I cried for probably three days, you know,” Blaine says quietly, almost a whisper. Kurt’s hand tightens on top of Blaine’s and he bites his bottom lip, making an effort to let Blaine finish. “But honestly? I don’t think I’d be where I am today, right now, if it hadn’t happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“I started to think, really think, about why I had done all the things I did in high school-transferring to McKinley, running for class president, all of it. I started to realize that yes, some of that was because I wanted it, but the main reason I did all that? To be with you, for your happiness and our happiness together. I hadn’t really spent much time thinking about what I wanted since before I was in high school, since before I came out.”
“Can I ask how you ended up at Notre Dame? I mean-I never would’ve guessed you’d stay in the Midwest, let alone at a religious school.”
“They had a great vocal performance program, better than Ohio, and the football tradition definitely played a part. Mainly, I just visited and fell in love. I couldn’t see myself anywhere else. Sam helped me finish my applications; he was probably the only person I told before I got in.”
“I guess I always just assumed you wanted to perform like I did. Which, now that I think about it, is really funny since neither of us is performing anymore.”
Blaine laughs, popping the lid off his cup to stir the last dregs of his coffee, draining it quickly.
“Who would’ve ever thought, huh?”
“How did you end up here though? I mean-I never thought you were a science person, and now you’re in medical school.”
“I actually joined a first aid team at school my first year there, and started volunteering at events and games and getting some experience. A lot of it just felt so natural to me, and I was pretty good at calming people who were hurt or scared down, getting them to focus on me while we helped them or treated them so that they weren’t so terrified. I switched major tracks halfway through freshman year.”
“And you like it?”
“I love it,” Blaine breathes, and his eyes light up. “All of the science classes, the knowledge of how things work and fit together, what makes our bodies move and function the way they do? It’s incredible. And I still get to perform, on weekends and stuff. We have a few groups that perform at school events or parties, it’s awesome.”
“You talk about medicine like I talk about fashion,” Kurt observes with a smile. “It’s really cool, actually. Now you need to tell me about what you’re doing in school, because honestly? I have no idea how medical school works.”
They finally settle into easy conversation, the initial awkwardness of the meeting vanishing as Blaine regales Kurt with stories of gross anatomy lab and OMM lab, details how many hours they spend weekly studying in the library. When Blaine’s finished, Kurt talks about how he’s moved up the ranks at Vogue, how he manages an entire section of the magazine now and loves what he gets to do. By the end of two hours, it’s like they’ve never been apart, and when Blaine heads home to get some studying done before eating dinner, he feels a weight he’d never realized had settled on his heart lift.