Meme Responses Part 2
Finally, here are the second set of answers to the 15 characters meme I posted a few posts ago. Answers in this section are to the final question by 
zellieh and those asked by
beckyl,
clarehooper and
jane_h. Due to the questions, the answers in this section range from PG-13 to NC-17.
8. Nicholas (8), Sirius(12), Remus(13), Ethan(14) - What's their favourite sex act/sex toy?
from
zellieh
NB. Look there were some non-twisted characters on the list but a. none of them got picked and b. that isn't half as much fun. Ummm... sorry?
Nicholas
There was a rumour about the embassy that Nicholas' favourite sexual act was masturbation because it was sex with someone he trusted. That was not be totally true (either that it was his favourite, or that he totally trusted himself) but it was a rumour that he'd started so he did nothing to dispel it.
He knew people speculated. Initially it was the Bond mystique that all agents were cursed with. Later - disappointment when they realised that he didn't have a girl, or boy in his case, in every city. Knew too that they jokingly said 'always the quiet ones' and thought of leather and chains. For his American colleagues it's the British cliché with its odd mix of resentment and respect that their tangled histories have engendered. For his compatriots it is their own mixed feelings about Big Brother, freedom and safety. He's never bothered to ask if they think he is on the leash or holding the whip, it just amuses him that it is where their minds go. They think its about power. That he is about power. And that isn't totally wrong - but it isn't right either. Power is good - he respects it, recognises it, enjoys that he can be king-maker and king-breaker but he doesn't seek or want power for its own sake. Nor is it a sexual thing. The frisson of it warms him, but only because knowledge is power and knowledge is something he craves. He doesn't want to break kingdoms but wants to know how they would crack and why and where he would need to apply the pressure should it become necessary. He wants the knowledge to know when it would become necessary. That's just survival and pride in a job well done.
The same could be said for adrenaline. It isn't that Nicholas is an adrenaline junky because that would suggest that he seeks it out and the last thing that you need in an agent is someone who actively takes risks. Like most spies he is inherently risk-adverse, there is enough complication in his job without needing to find more. He takes chances, but only because not doing so is even less advisable. Still - there is nothing wrong with enjoying what you do.
His relationship, if it could be called that, with Christopher had that edge. That explosive mix of power and danger and secrets. Christopher had played his games, bringing that testosterone-fuelled excitement back with him like victory spoils and Nicholas had played Christopher. It made it fun, added an extra spice to their trysts. He's not sure that Christopher ever realised, so sure in his own righteousness, how easy it was to offer just enough of a challenge to be interesting but not enough that Christopher ever looked past his own arrogance to wonder. Some might call his favourite game topping-from-the-bottom - but that suggests the a literal interpretation which, although he enjoys that too, is inaccurate.
It's all and none of these things.
So when Nicholas intercepts a series of suspicious messages, he investigates. And when he tracks the source of the missives down to an anonymous hotel room and finds Mark there, waiting for him, he smiles.
Because while these are the games that he loves, maybe his favourite thing is someone who will make him take those risks.
He would never admit it however - his life depends on it.
Sirius
It started of as a joke, or something like a joke. Remus had been trying to work on some report or other for the crummy outfit that was employing him this week but probably wouldn't the next month when they figured out what he was. Sirius was bugging him because he was bored and Sirius and bored was always a bad combination. Back at Hogwarts he would have used the time to plan his next prank campaign against the Slytherin or gone exploring - there was always another secret passageway to find and be-damned if James could find more than him. Now there was just the flat with its boring walls and muggle pictures and the only people to bother were Lily and Remus. And Lily was out.
"For Merlin's sake, Padfoot," Remus snapped as the page he was trying to write on attempted to fold itself into an aeroplane and join the small squadron that was already circling the light fitting, "I'm trying to work. If you can't sit down and read a book quietly then bugger off somewhere else before I tie you to the chair!"
Sirius had laughed because Moony was all exasperation and fuss and it was amazing that someone so young could act so old. He'd forgotten that it was the week before the full moon, the week when the wolf started making itself comfortable in Remus' skin and even Moony's legendary patience was stretched thin trying to encompass both wizard and beast. He realised too late that laughing was definitely the wrong reaction.
Thin black ribbons of light streamed out from Remus' wand and twined about his limbs dragging him backwards until he fell against the plump pillows of the sofa that Lily had insisted on and he had always hated. He didn't know what substance Remus had conjured but there was no fighting against its soft but unforgiving hold. He just managed to get through the first syllable of Remus' name in surprised (and slightly admiring) objection when Remus flicked his wand again and more of those black bands of smoke-that-wasn't wrapped themselves around his head and smothered the words. Remus turned back to his work.
Of course, Remus, being Remus, he only managed five minutes before his inherent niceness overcame his irritation and he walked over to to check that Sirius was okay. Not that he let Sirius go.
"Are you going to behave?" he asked lightly.
Sirius looked at him and struggled pointedly. The gag didn't actually restrict his breathing, just stopped him making any noise, which meant it didn't explain the tight feeling in his chest. His skin felt hot and itchy and if he didn't know better he might think that someone had hexed his clothes. Which wouldn't be the first time. Remus sniffed. And then sniffed again, a look of surprise spreading across his face. Sirius didn't know what he was smelling but he could guess. Every part of him seemed to be straining against its binding and he almost regretted wearing muggle trousers. Almost. To his surprise he realised he felt calm for the first time in months (years), the tight, unyielding bonds keeping the world out rather than him in. He met Remus' eyes and saw the wolf staring back from behind the fond, familiar gaze.
Then Remus smiled, the lupine grin of a predator who's spotted little red riding hood and knows that the woodcutter is off that day.
Sirius tilted his head and bared his throat. The wolf pounced.
Since Azkaban the thought of being restrained in any way makes Sirius break out in a cold sweat. All he can see is the dark, unfriendly walls of his prison. He knows it wasn't actually them but the Dementors beyond that leached everything of worth from him until he was nothing but a shell, but he couldn't see the Dementors and he could see the walls. Now he can't see anything else but walls, trapping him - sucking the life from everything within them. He can't bare to let the walls any closer but, as he prowls around his new cage, he keeps finding himself coming back to it: the collar, with its little bronze name tag saying "Padfoot", that they use when Sirius has to go out in his animagus form. The collar that they have only used for //that// purpose since he returned. It sits there, gathering dust like everything else in the house, a promise in his dreams and a nightmare in his waking.
Remus
Remus doesn't remember what it was like before the wolf. Intellectually he knows there was a time when there was just him in his soul but he's not totally sure that young boy was really him. The wolf's influence waxes and wanes with the moon, giving him double-vision on his life.
He hates (and he loves) the time before the full moon when his blood howls with the wolf's voice. That's when he always falls in with the most wild, reckless schemes that Sirius dreams up. Like the time that Sirius took him up for a ride on his 'bike and they had ended up fucking on the back while doing 70mph, 800ft above the M25. It had been exhilarating - the wind buffeting both of them and threatening to rip them from the bike and each others' arms. It's only afterwards when they finally land at James' (dishevelled and intoxicated by their own daring) that Remus wonders what they were thinking. He never forgets though, carrying the memory of leather and tight heat, of the deep vibrations of the engine purring though both of them, of Sirius' whooping laughter and the rushing cold.
He loves (and he hates) the soft, gentle mornings that they find together in the aftermath of the full moon. Every morning is a lazy Sunday and each touch seems to be a declaration. They make love slowly and with care knowing that they have been blessed with this time and wanting to make the most of it. Afterwards they lie together, breathing with each other's breath and wishing that time could stand still. It's in those mornings Remus hopes and fears that he might be loved. It's in those mornings the Remus thinks he is happiest. But, while that is true, he knows he can't be truly happy because part of his soul is asleep.
Ethan
For Ethan it is not just a what but also a who. They have a volatile, strained relationship, Giles and he. It's glued together and splintered apart by history and blood and sex and death. He thinks he loved Giles back when they ran wild together, the gang of them rebelling against middle-class oppression, thinking with the amazing cruelty of innocence that they were free and making their own rules and fuck the world. That was before love was proved just another in the list of socially acceptable opiates. Ethan isn't sure what they have now; something of chaos and betrayal that suits them both so well that they are bound by it far more than any shared delusion.
His favourite is when Giles fucks him. It is proof that he can still goad Giles into such action, that he is still under Giles' skin. Violence is too easy; too swift to invoke and too swift to forget. He needles Giles, wanting (needing) to get a rise from him in every sense. They fall to sex last, when every other pyrrhic victory has been won and lost. Sometimes it marks a détente, other times another battle in the never-ending war. He prefers when it is blood and tears; rage made and given flesh by their joint bodies. When Giles is gentle and kind it breaks him in ways he can no longer name and he isn't the one that is supposed to break. If he hadn't seen the equally wrecked expression on Giles' face afterwards he would suspect that it was Giles' revenge on him but as it is he is left to wonder why Giles choses to punish them both. He thinks sometimes he knows and regards it as proof positive of Chaos and the unutterable cruelty of the universe.
In the face of all logic they still find some peace in each other, there at the epicentre of their storm. It reminds Ethan of when he and Ripper were the punctuation in each other's sentences. It makes him feel young again. Then, when it is over and they are once more themselves and not a tangle of limbs and bruises, he gets to watch as Giles tries to twist it around, tries to make it Ethan's fault that he once again found himself again buried in Ethan's body as if Ethan somehow forced him into it. He never has. That would spoil the fun. Something Giles knows just as well and hates Ethen for even more.
Someday they will learn to stop hurting each other and Ethen can't bring himself to welcome that day because he knows it will be goodbye.
9. Kronos (6) and Nicholas (8) are housemates. Which of Methos (1), Castiel (5) and Remus (13) gets the third slot and why?
from
beckyl
Oh dear - carefully moves Cas away from Kronos (Yes - I love mighty-smitey Castiel as much as the next fangirl but having seen the Castiel-Kitten picture I just have more trouble picturing smitey!Cas and Kronos as opposed to... well the other way it could go. Remember: Angels are for life not just the Apocalypse - especially when you are probably the one causing it (and that doesn't just mean you should just kill them immediately, damnit)).
Methos - gets first dibs on the room due to boyf privileges... however having all met while flat hunting, Methos, Cas and Remus decide to flat share together instead. Somewhere a bit bigger where they can fit all their bookshelves in.
10. Krycek (2) has run over/destroyed Giles' (15) beloved pet/most prized possession. What happens?
from
beckyl
Krycek knew better than to judge by appearances. He'd learnt that lesson the hard way. He'd been that lesson. So he'd done his homework, and watched and waited. But it was just a school with a library and a librarian. A fussy, British librarian who did nothing but collect rare books and yearn for the glory days of his youth when he had a half-blue in fencing and rugby wasn't something he watch on TV.
Getting into the school was easy - the door straight into the library stacks just made his life easier. He wondered how many students had worked out that they had an easy way to slip out for the price of a trip to the library. Not many from that he had observed. More fool them.
Thirty minutes later it was Krycek who was cursing himself for a fool. Either his information had been totally wrong or the bloody librarian had taken the papers he'd been sent to retrieve home with him. Mastering his temper he let himself back out again. There was nothing for it - he would have break into the librarian's house. He disliked the necessity; this was a search and retrieve job not a hit and home invasions could go very bad very quickly.
He'd cased the house as well, a standard precaution in the case of unforeseen eventualities - like this one. He let himself in.
There was a stack of books on the kitchen table and Alex searched through them quickly. In his haste he knocked the teacup that stood besides them. It hit the table with a light thunk but he caught it before it could role of and smash to the floor. He put it back on the carefully, noting with distaste that it had still been mostly full, the long cold liquid spreading over the table. He shuddered, unable to stop the instinctive reaction. In the darkness the spill of liquid had seemed black, reaching for him... but then common sense reasserted itself and he forced himself to breath. He shook himself and looked around the room for the next possible hiding place. A desk stood against the wall and he crept over to it, riffling through the draws with practised speed.
The brief creak of floor was his only warning and then a flash of pain sent everything black.
He came back to himself in a rush of panic. He was bound tightly, expertly the voice of his fear whispered to him, and he strained against it, feeling for any give in the bonds. There was none, but that just made him fight harder. He sagged eventually, desperation only able to sustain him for so long. It's only then that the light was turnned on and he shrunk away from the glare, blinking. Whoever was holding him had been there the entire time, Krycek realised, just standing their watching as he had struggled. That was never a good sign.
"You know those books were very valuable," the watcher said and for a moment Krycek has no idea what he is talking about. He hadn't been sent for any books. Before he could make a denial the man continued, "the Heptameron was written by Pietro d'Abano in the thirteenth century and was one of a few left in the world." The voice was pleasant enough - all education and tradition and afternoon teas. "It was given to me by a friend."
The speaker walked forward, coalescing from back-dropped shadow to solid man. Krycek wanted to laugh - he's tied up and being lectured by Mulder's Oxford come to life - but can feel the hysterical well of it clawing at him and doesn't dare. For all the faux-pleasantries Krycek knew the expression on the man's face. He'd seen it on the face of supposed lawmen before a beatdown was coming. He'd seen it behind blood-slick knives and through cigarette smoke. He'd seen it on his own face in the mirror.
Normally it is on the face of the people that ask the questions but there is only one question here and it is his - what does he have to do to survive.
Standing above him, Ripper grins.
11. Assuming Dean (4) knows all of the other characters somehow, which two would be the pair s/he'd trap in a lift together to observe for a couple of hours for maximum viewing amusement?
from
beckyl
Of all the people on the list, Dean is probably the most likely to trap people in a lift for amusement. It's best to pretend he wasn't aiming for Sammy and missed.
Dean, being Dean, would probably think trapping Castiel in a lift would be hilarious - but trapping an Angel of the Lord in a lift is easier thought than done. Once you get to the flaming holy oil stage it gets beyond a prank.
Arthur is a definite. Arthur trapped in a lift would be premium viewing - especially if he had someone to make his feelings on the matter clear to. (And it really is a shame that he can't trap Arthur and Cas because, by the time they got let out, Arthur would be thanking Castiel for making him realise there were people who were more clueless and useless than Merlin and how he hadn't believed that was possible while Castiel would be giving him the 'humans are strange' look of confusion and petting.)
Whoever was trapped with Arthur would need to be someone who wouldn't knock him out (or kill him) out of hand because that would be no fun to watch (which removes a fair number of the options), or just be able to magic their way out/turn Arthur into a frog (which removes a bunch more unless Dean was to start with the anti-magic wards and hex bags). There is also no point on having anyone who will be too calm about the entire thing.
So of the non-magic/non-psychotic/unperturbable people on the list... that pretty much leaves Roman. And we know what happens when Roman gets stuck in a lift although the accidental drugging probably won't be replicated (depending on how bored Dean actually is - but I'm pretty sure Sam and Cas wouldn't let him go that far). Should such drugging have occurred, accidently of course, due to neither of the others knowing what Dean was planning, Sam will nearly crack a rib trying not to laugh as Dean has to field questions from Castiel about what is happening. Meanwhile, Merlin will flap around and totally miss the fact he has magic and can do something about it because Arthur..?!? It should also be noted that this purely hypothetical event was long before Roman and Deniz got back together again because otherwise it wouldn't be fair on them and they have been so amazingly sparkly recently (oh boys, boys! ). But luckily none of that happened.
12. Krycek (2), Remus (13) and Giles (15) go for dinner together: what type of food do they get? Who, if any, will feel like a third wheel?
from
clarehooper
There are no proper chippies in American, at least not what Giles or Remus would count as proper chippies and since this is something of a reunion they feel the need for something properly British - so they go out for an Indian. They take Krycek with them - just because he persuaded Giles not to do anything fatal to him doesn't mean Giles is prepared to trust him in the house unaccompanied, or indeed out of his sight in general, at least until Krycek's sources locate replacement copies of all the book he drowned during the tea incident.
Krycek feels like the third wheel. He other two men share upbringing, history and country. And a love of books that Krycek thinks might be even more consuming than Mulder's little thing for aliens. At least there is no way Giles is going to ask him to dress us as a book and... the point being that Giles and Remus have a lot in common and are there on a voluntary basis. Krycek - less so.
13. Who on the list is Mark (7) most attracted to? Who on the list would be the best partner for Mark (7)?
from
clarehooper
Given they are one of my OTPs I have to say Nicholas for the first part. However Nicholas would be the first person to say he wasn't the best partner for Mark so...
I just can't do it. I can see some of the others on the list being great friends, mentors or protégées but my OTP glasses are just on too firmly for me to pair Mark with anyone else (canon aside - but I never really bought Mark and Jane as a great/lasting relationship either). Oddly, I I don't have the same problem with Nicholas - go figure.
14. Would Methos (1) and Nicholas (8) ever team up to battle evil? Under what circumstances?
from
clarehooper
That I would like to see! Here we learn an important lesson - evil is clearly stupid. Nicholas will battle evil if he he thinks it is in the best interest of Britain either directly or indirectly. He will also step up if doing so will not contradict his job and the evil is, well, evil. Nicholas might be a focused more on results than means but he does have some morals carefully tucked away. Methos is even more of a live and let live sort of guy (and occasionally run away and let live sort of guy) so to get them both involved the evil must have gone out of its way to really piss them off. This is what is commonly known as 'the first mistake'.
Both men would see the benefits of teaming up (if only to use the other as canon fodder/distraction to start with). Once they get past their respective trust issues then evil will find itself facing two very competent, occasionally deadly, deeply intelligent, amoral bastards. I don't think evil stands a chance.
15. Arthur (10) takes Merlin (11) on a surprise date. Where do they go? They find Sirius (12) is there - what is the reaction of each?
from
jane_h
Bwhahaha, oh this is going to go so badly wrong.
There really aren't to many places in Camelot that the Crown Prince can take anyone on a date and least of all his useless and all too irritating man servant. Uther had given Arthur a number of deeply embarrassing talks over the years about young women and reputation. Arthur wasn't entirely sure whether that applied to Merlin because, although his servant was a bit of a girl, he was not a woman, young or otherwise. In the end, he decided to stick to his strengths - he'd take Merlin on a ride through the countryside, complete with picnic. You'd think Merlin never ate considering how scrawny he was, the least Arthur could do was make sure he got fed.
Decision made, The first thing Arthur did was send word to the castle kitchens to prepare the meal. Merlin grumbled about it, but Arthur was used to that so he didn't let it bother him. It was a surprise date after all and it wouldn't do to do anything that might cause suspicion of his plans. It was slightly embarrassing how long it took him to decide what to wear, although it did allow Merlin time to ready the horses. Mostly. It was sort of cute, in a really irritating way, just how useless Merlin could be at something he had been doing for //months//. If Arthur hadn't been paying attention when he went to mount the looseness of the girth could have had him on his arse. Now he wasn't easy but it was a date and if his arse came was involved in any way then bruised from falling off his horse was not his first choice. It wasn't even in the top ten. He explained, much more calmly and with more patience than Merlin deserved, what he excepted from a good servant but it was a date, after all, so he let him off lightly.
Things improved somewhat when they got underway. The day was fine, a little fresh but not nearly as cold as Merlin made it sound. It wasn't like there was snow on the ground or anything. The sun was out, the sky was a clear blue which, if Arthur was feeling poetic he might have compared to Merlin's eyes. Not feeling the need to blurt out every thought that came into his head, unlike some people, Arthur kept that particular observation to himself. He wouldn't want Merlin to think he had gone soft in the head.
They stopped for lunch besides a stream. Letting their horses drink and graze while they ate. Given that Merlin had actually collected the food he seemed unreasonably surprised that Arthur was sharing it with him. It was at that point things started to go wrong. Arthur was never entirely sure what spooked the horses - he thought he saw a large black dog amongst the trees but he couldn't give it his full attention due to the pressing need to vomit up everything he had eaten in the past year. He just had time to notice that Merlin was also looking a bit green around the edges when the man showed up and he understood: he had been poisoned by a sorcerer.
A sorcerer who is clearly insane because he actually walked up and introduced himself. When Merlin introduced them in return because a. he is an idiot who has no thought that people might want to take advantage of Arthur's vulnerable state and b. Arthur too is busy retching to respond himself, the man he took one look at Merlin, looked a little faint and started talking about how amazing meeting him was which made Arthur even surer that the man was seriously delusional. Even Merlin looked more confused than normal. And not a little horrified, but it was Merlin and he had just come face to face with an evil wizard so Arthur was probably lucky that he was only feeling horror and not mind-numbing terror. That didn't stop him telling Merlin to run (and being ignored so maybe the horror was mind-numbing or maybe Merlin just was that dumb) and trying to unsheathe his sword and hold it in something that resembled a defensive manner. Everything was a bit fuzzy after that.
He knows that he manages to get the still flapping Merlin back to the castle, horses and all. His head is feeling much clearer and he's down to dry heaves by that point which makes leading the search for the warlock much easier. Merlin looked pale and nauseous as he saw Arthur off, twittering incoherently about how Arthur should be resting. As if he could rest while there is an evil sorcerer out their threatening Camalot and having the temerity to try and poison Arthur on the surprise date he so carefully planned and organised.
Still he got to ride off looking noble and manly at the end of it which always seems to impress people. Or at least everyone other than Merlin who is clearly weird. He reviewed the day while he led his men back to the picnic spot from whence they will start the search. It certainly wasn't the best date he'd ever had... although it also wasn't the worst either (which was just depressing, he was the Crown Prince after all). Plus he was beginning to think that Merlin, clotpole that he was, had not even realised that it was a date. It made him wonder why he bothered.
And exactly when Gaius got a dog?
16. If Ianto (9) were an animal, what would s/he be? Whose pet (possibly exotic) would they like to be?
from
jane_h
Blue-ringed octopus: small and relatively docile they are intelligent (like all octopuses) and use their camouflage ability to hide themselves - at least until provoked at which point they reveal their true colours and attacks with a venom powerful enough to kill an adult human (they are 5-8" and carry enough poison to kill 26 adult humans in a few minutes).
Whose pet would Ianto like to be... Giles or Methos, but I think that is more Ripperish than Gilesish and would take some explaining to the kids (unless they just failed to catch on and thought Ianto was a deputy librarian or something). Methos on the other hand has a thousands of years of keeping humans and just has to worry about Duncan giving him disapproving looks (at least they are probably supposed to be disapproving).
Oh wait - the Iantopus! *thinks* I can see Krycek liking the idea of a venomous, camouflaging octopus but it's a bit hard to find the time to look after a pet when you are a double... triple... however-many-times-agent/assassin on the run. However, from the octopus' perspective I expect he would like to be owned by someone who will give him a big tank to play in and remember to feed him regularly and do all the things that need to be done to keep an octopus happy. So I think the Iantopus will have to go with Remus. He could do with the company and he's responsible enough to look after him properly. Plus he can magic up fun toys for the Iantopus to play with.
Originally posted at http://fides.dreamwidth.org/6101.html. There are
comments there.
zellieh and those asked by
beckyl,
clarehooper and
jane_h. Due to the questions, the answers in this section range from PG-13 to NC-17.
8. Nicholas (8), Sirius(12), Remus(13), Ethan(14) - What's their favourite sex act/sex toy?
from
zellieh
NB. Look there were some non-twisted characters on the list but a. none of them got picked and b. that isn't half as much fun. Ummm... sorry?
Nicholas
There was a rumour about the embassy that Nicholas' favourite sexual act was masturbation because it was sex with someone he trusted. That was not be totally true (either that it was his favourite, or that he totally trusted himself) but it was a rumour that he'd started so he did nothing to dispel it.
He knew people speculated. Initially it was the Bond mystique that all agents were cursed with. Later - disappointment when they realised that he didn't have a girl, or boy in his case, in every city. Knew too that they jokingly said 'always the quiet ones' and thought of leather and chains. For his American colleagues it's the British cliché with its odd mix of resentment and respect that their tangled histories have engendered. For his compatriots it is their own mixed feelings about Big Brother, freedom and safety. He's never bothered to ask if they think he is on the leash or holding the whip, it just amuses him that it is where their minds go. They think its about power. That he is about power. And that isn't totally wrong - but it isn't right either. Power is good - he respects it, recognises it, enjoys that he can be king-maker and king-breaker but he doesn't seek or want power for its own sake. Nor is it a sexual thing. The frisson of it warms him, but only because knowledge is power and knowledge is something he craves. He doesn't want to break kingdoms but wants to know how they would crack and why and where he would need to apply the pressure should it become necessary. He wants the knowledge to know when it would become necessary. That's just survival and pride in a job well done.
The same could be said for adrenaline. It isn't that Nicholas is an adrenaline junky because that would suggest that he seeks it out and the last thing that you need in an agent is someone who actively takes risks. Like most spies he is inherently risk-adverse, there is enough complication in his job without needing to find more. He takes chances, but only because not doing so is even less advisable. Still - there is nothing wrong with enjoying what you do.
His relationship, if it could be called that, with Christopher had that edge. That explosive mix of power and danger and secrets. Christopher had played his games, bringing that testosterone-fuelled excitement back with him like victory spoils and Nicholas had played Christopher. It made it fun, added an extra spice to their trysts. He's not sure that Christopher ever realised, so sure in his own righteousness, how easy it was to offer just enough of a challenge to be interesting but not enough that Christopher ever looked past his own arrogance to wonder. Some might call his favourite game topping-from-the-bottom - but that suggests the a literal interpretation which, although he enjoys that too, is inaccurate.
It's all and none of these things.
So when Nicholas intercepts a series of suspicious messages, he investigates. And when he tracks the source of the missives down to an anonymous hotel room and finds Mark there, waiting for him, he smiles.
Because while these are the games that he loves, maybe his favourite thing is someone who will make him take those risks.
He would never admit it however - his life depends on it.
Sirius
It started of as a joke, or something like a joke. Remus had been trying to work on some report or other for the crummy outfit that was employing him this week but probably wouldn't the next month when they figured out what he was. Sirius was bugging him because he was bored and Sirius and bored was always a bad combination. Back at Hogwarts he would have used the time to plan his next prank campaign against the Slytherin or gone exploring - there was always another secret passageway to find and be-damned if James could find more than him. Now there was just the flat with its boring walls and muggle pictures and the only people to bother were Lily and Remus. And Lily was out.
"For Merlin's sake, Padfoot," Remus snapped as the page he was trying to write on attempted to fold itself into an aeroplane and join the small squadron that was already circling the light fitting, "I'm trying to work. If you can't sit down and read a book quietly then bugger off somewhere else before I tie you to the chair!"
Sirius had laughed because Moony was all exasperation and fuss and it was amazing that someone so young could act so old. He'd forgotten that it was the week before the full moon, the week when the wolf started making itself comfortable in Remus' skin and even Moony's legendary patience was stretched thin trying to encompass both wizard and beast. He realised too late that laughing was definitely the wrong reaction.
Thin black ribbons of light streamed out from Remus' wand and twined about his limbs dragging him backwards until he fell against the plump pillows of the sofa that Lily had insisted on and he had always hated. He didn't know what substance Remus had conjured but there was no fighting against its soft but unforgiving hold. He just managed to get through the first syllable of Remus' name in surprised (and slightly admiring) objection when Remus flicked his wand again and more of those black bands of smoke-that-wasn't wrapped themselves around his head and smothered the words. Remus turned back to his work.
Of course, Remus, being Remus, he only managed five minutes before his inherent niceness overcame his irritation and he walked over to to check that Sirius was okay. Not that he let Sirius go.
"Are you going to behave?" he asked lightly.
Sirius looked at him and struggled pointedly. The gag didn't actually restrict his breathing, just stopped him making any noise, which meant it didn't explain the tight feeling in his chest. His skin felt hot and itchy and if he didn't know better he might think that someone had hexed his clothes. Which wouldn't be the first time. Remus sniffed. And then sniffed again, a look of surprise spreading across his face. Sirius didn't know what he was smelling but he could guess. Every part of him seemed to be straining against its binding and he almost regretted wearing muggle trousers. Almost. To his surprise he realised he felt calm for the first time in months (years), the tight, unyielding bonds keeping the world out rather than him in. He met Remus' eyes and saw the wolf staring back from behind the fond, familiar gaze.
Then Remus smiled, the lupine grin of a predator who's spotted little red riding hood and knows that the woodcutter is off that day.
Sirius tilted his head and bared his throat. The wolf pounced.
Since Azkaban the thought of being restrained in any way makes Sirius break out in a cold sweat. All he can see is the dark, unfriendly walls of his prison. He knows it wasn't actually them but the Dementors beyond that leached everything of worth from him until he was nothing but a shell, but he couldn't see the Dementors and he could see the walls. Now he can't see anything else but walls, trapping him - sucking the life from everything within them. He can't bare to let the walls any closer but, as he prowls around his new cage, he keeps finding himself coming back to it: the collar, with its little bronze name tag saying "Padfoot", that they use when Sirius has to go out in his animagus form. The collar that they have only used for //that// purpose since he returned. It sits there, gathering dust like everything else in the house, a promise in his dreams and a nightmare in his waking.
Remus
Remus doesn't remember what it was like before the wolf. Intellectually he knows there was a time when there was just him in his soul but he's not totally sure that young boy was really him. The wolf's influence waxes and wanes with the moon, giving him double-vision on his life.
He hates (and he loves) the time before the full moon when his blood howls with the wolf's voice. That's when he always falls in with the most wild, reckless schemes that Sirius dreams up. Like the time that Sirius took him up for a ride on his 'bike and they had ended up fucking on the back while doing 70mph, 800ft above the M25. It had been exhilarating - the wind buffeting both of them and threatening to rip them from the bike and each others' arms. It's only afterwards when they finally land at James' (dishevelled and intoxicated by their own daring) that Remus wonders what they were thinking. He never forgets though, carrying the memory of leather and tight heat, of the deep vibrations of the engine purring though both of them, of Sirius' whooping laughter and the rushing cold.
He loves (and he hates) the soft, gentle mornings that they find together in the aftermath of the full moon. Every morning is a lazy Sunday and each touch seems to be a declaration. They make love slowly and with care knowing that they have been blessed with this time and wanting to make the most of it. Afterwards they lie together, breathing with each other's breath and wishing that time could stand still. It's in those mornings Remus hopes and fears that he might be loved. It's in those mornings the Remus thinks he is happiest. But, while that is true, he knows he can't be truly happy because part of his soul is asleep.
Ethan
For Ethan it is not just a what but also a who. They have a volatile, strained relationship, Giles and he. It's glued together and splintered apart by history and blood and sex and death. He thinks he loved Giles back when they ran wild together, the gang of them rebelling against middle-class oppression, thinking with the amazing cruelty of innocence that they were free and making their own rules and fuck the world. That was before love was proved just another in the list of socially acceptable opiates. Ethan isn't sure what they have now; something of chaos and betrayal that suits them both so well that they are bound by it far more than any shared delusion.
His favourite is when Giles fucks him. It is proof that he can still goad Giles into such action, that he is still under Giles' skin. Violence is too easy; too swift to invoke and too swift to forget. He needles Giles, wanting (needing) to get a rise from him in every sense. They fall to sex last, when every other pyrrhic victory has been won and lost. Sometimes it marks a détente, other times another battle in the never-ending war. He prefers when it is blood and tears; rage made and given flesh by their joint bodies. When Giles is gentle and kind it breaks him in ways he can no longer name and he isn't the one that is supposed to break. If he hadn't seen the equally wrecked expression on Giles' face afterwards he would suspect that it was Giles' revenge on him but as it is he is left to wonder why Giles choses to punish them both. He thinks sometimes he knows and regards it as proof positive of Chaos and the unutterable cruelty of the universe.
In the face of all logic they still find some peace in each other, there at the epicentre of their storm. It reminds Ethan of when he and Ripper were the punctuation in each other's sentences. It makes him feel young again. Then, when it is over and they are once more themselves and not a tangle of limbs and bruises, he gets to watch as Giles tries to twist it around, tries to make it Ethan's fault that he once again found himself again buried in Ethan's body as if Ethan somehow forced him into it. He never has. That would spoil the fun. Something Giles knows just as well and hates Ethen for even more.
Someday they will learn to stop hurting each other and Ethen can't bring himself to welcome that day because he knows it will be goodbye.
9. Kronos (6) and Nicholas (8) are housemates. Which of Methos (1), Castiel (5) and Remus (13) gets the third slot and why?
from
beckyl
Oh dear - carefully moves Cas away from Kronos (Yes - I love mighty-smitey Castiel as much as the next fangirl but having seen the Castiel-Kitten picture I just have more trouble picturing smitey!Cas and Kronos as opposed to... well the other way it could go. Remember: Angels are for life not just the Apocalypse - especially when you are probably the one causing it (and that doesn't just mean you should just kill them immediately, damnit)).
Methos - gets first dibs on the room due to boyf privileges... however having all met while flat hunting, Methos, Cas and Remus decide to flat share together instead. Somewhere a bit bigger where they can fit all their bookshelves in.
10. Krycek (2) has run over/destroyed Giles' (15) beloved pet/most prized possession. What happens?
from
beckyl
Krycek knew better than to judge by appearances. He'd learnt that lesson the hard way. He'd been that lesson. So he'd done his homework, and watched and waited. But it was just a school with a library and a librarian. A fussy, British librarian who did nothing but collect rare books and yearn for the glory days of his youth when he had a half-blue in fencing and rugby wasn't something he watch on TV.
Getting into the school was easy - the door straight into the library stacks just made his life easier. He wondered how many students had worked out that they had an easy way to slip out for the price of a trip to the library. Not many from that he had observed. More fool them.
Thirty minutes later it was Krycek who was cursing himself for a fool. Either his information had been totally wrong or the bloody librarian had taken the papers he'd been sent to retrieve home with him. Mastering his temper he let himself back out again. There was nothing for it - he would have break into the librarian's house. He disliked the necessity; this was a search and retrieve job not a hit and home invasions could go very bad very quickly.
He'd cased the house as well, a standard precaution in the case of unforeseen eventualities - like this one. He let himself in.
There was a stack of books on the kitchen table and Alex searched through them quickly. In his haste he knocked the teacup that stood besides them. It hit the table with a light thunk but he caught it before it could role of and smash to the floor. He put it back on the carefully, noting with distaste that it had still been mostly full, the long cold liquid spreading over the table. He shuddered, unable to stop the instinctive reaction. In the darkness the spill of liquid had seemed black, reaching for him... but then common sense reasserted itself and he forced himself to breath. He shook himself and looked around the room for the next possible hiding place. A desk stood against the wall and he crept over to it, riffling through the draws with practised speed.
The brief creak of floor was his only warning and then a flash of pain sent everything black.
He came back to himself in a rush of panic. He was bound tightly, expertly the voice of his fear whispered to him, and he strained against it, feeling for any give in the bonds. There was none, but that just made him fight harder. He sagged eventually, desperation only able to sustain him for so long. It's only then that the light was turnned on and he shrunk away from the glare, blinking. Whoever was holding him had been there the entire time, Krycek realised, just standing their watching as he had struggled. That was never a good sign.
"You know those books were very valuable," the watcher said and for a moment Krycek has no idea what he is talking about. He hadn't been sent for any books. Before he could make a denial the man continued, "the Heptameron was written by Pietro d'Abano in the thirteenth century and was one of a few left in the world." The voice was pleasant enough - all education and tradition and afternoon teas. "It was given to me by a friend."
The speaker walked forward, coalescing from back-dropped shadow to solid man. Krycek wanted to laugh - he's tied up and being lectured by Mulder's Oxford come to life - but can feel the hysterical well of it clawing at him and doesn't dare. For all the faux-pleasantries Krycek knew the expression on the man's face. He'd seen it on the face of supposed lawmen before a beatdown was coming. He'd seen it behind blood-slick knives and through cigarette smoke. He'd seen it on his own face in the mirror.
Normally it is on the face of the people that ask the questions but there is only one question here and it is his - what does he have to do to survive.
Standing above him, Ripper grins.
11. Assuming Dean (4) knows all of the other characters somehow, which two would be the pair s/he'd trap in a lift together to observe for a couple of hours for maximum viewing amusement?
from
beckyl
Of all the people on the list, Dean is probably the most likely to trap people in a lift for amusement. It's best to pretend he wasn't aiming for Sammy and missed.
Dean, being Dean, would probably think trapping Castiel in a lift would be hilarious - but trapping an Angel of the Lord in a lift is easier thought than done. Once you get to the flaming holy oil stage it gets beyond a prank.
Arthur is a definite. Arthur trapped in a lift would be premium viewing - especially if he had someone to make his feelings on the matter clear to. (And it really is a shame that he can't trap Arthur and Cas because, by the time they got let out, Arthur would be thanking Castiel for making him realise there were people who were more clueless and useless than Merlin and how he hadn't believed that was possible while Castiel would be giving him the 'humans are strange' look of confusion and petting.)
Whoever was trapped with Arthur would need to be someone who wouldn't knock him out (or kill him) out of hand because that would be no fun to watch (which removes a fair number of the options), or just be able to magic their way out/turn Arthur into a frog (which removes a bunch more unless Dean was to start with the anti-magic wards and hex bags). There is also no point on having anyone who will be too calm about the entire thing.
So of the non-magic/non-psychotic/unperturbable people on the list... that pretty much leaves Roman. And we know what happens when Roman gets stuck in a lift although the accidental drugging probably won't be replicated (depending on how bored Dean actually is - but I'm pretty sure Sam and Cas wouldn't let him go that far). Should such drugging have occurred, accidently of course, due to neither of the others knowing what Dean was planning, Sam will nearly crack a rib trying not to laugh as Dean has to field questions from Castiel about what is happening. Meanwhile, Merlin will flap around and totally miss the fact he has magic and can do something about it because Arthur..?!? It should also be noted that this purely hypothetical event was long before Roman and Deniz got back together again because otherwise it wouldn't be fair on them and they have been so amazingly sparkly recently (oh boys, boys! ). But luckily none of that happened.
12. Krycek (2), Remus (13) and Giles (15) go for dinner together: what type of food do they get? Who, if any, will feel like a third wheel?
from
clarehooper
There are no proper chippies in American, at least not what Giles or Remus would count as proper chippies and since this is something of a reunion they feel the need for something properly British - so they go out for an Indian. They take Krycek with them - just because he persuaded Giles not to do anything fatal to him doesn't mean Giles is prepared to trust him in the house unaccompanied, or indeed out of his sight in general, at least until Krycek's sources locate replacement copies of all the book he drowned during the tea incident.
Krycek feels like the third wheel. He other two men share upbringing, history and country. And a love of books that Krycek thinks might be even more consuming than Mulder's little thing for aliens. At least there is no way Giles is going to ask him to dress us as a book and... the point being that Giles and Remus have a lot in common and are there on a voluntary basis. Krycek - less so.
13. Who on the list is Mark (7) most attracted to? Who on the list would be the best partner for Mark (7)?
from
clarehooper
Given they are one of my OTPs I have to say Nicholas for the first part. However Nicholas would be the first person to say he wasn't the best partner for Mark so...
I just can't do it. I can see some of the others on the list being great friends, mentors or protégées but my OTP glasses are just on too firmly for me to pair Mark with anyone else (canon aside - but I never really bought Mark and Jane as a great/lasting relationship either). Oddly, I I don't have the same problem with Nicholas - go figure.
14. Would Methos (1) and Nicholas (8) ever team up to battle evil? Under what circumstances?
from
clarehooper
That I would like to see! Here we learn an important lesson - evil is clearly stupid. Nicholas will battle evil if he he thinks it is in the best interest of Britain either directly or indirectly. He will also step up if doing so will not contradict his job and the evil is, well, evil. Nicholas might be a focused more on results than means but he does have some morals carefully tucked away. Methos is even more of a live and let live sort of guy (and occasionally run away and let live sort of guy) so to get them both involved the evil must have gone out of its way to really piss them off. This is what is commonly known as 'the first mistake'.
Both men would see the benefits of teaming up (if only to use the other as canon fodder/distraction to start with). Once they get past their respective trust issues then evil will find itself facing two very competent, occasionally deadly, deeply intelligent, amoral bastards. I don't think evil stands a chance.
15. Arthur (10) takes Merlin (11) on a surprise date. Where do they go? They find Sirius (12) is there - what is the reaction of each?
from
jane_h
Bwhahaha, oh this is going to go so badly wrong.
There really aren't to many places in Camelot that the Crown Prince can take anyone on a date and least of all his useless and all too irritating man servant. Uther had given Arthur a number of deeply embarrassing talks over the years about young women and reputation. Arthur wasn't entirely sure whether that applied to Merlin because, although his servant was a bit of a girl, he was not a woman, young or otherwise. In the end, he decided to stick to his strengths - he'd take Merlin on a ride through the countryside, complete with picnic. You'd think Merlin never ate considering how scrawny he was, the least Arthur could do was make sure he got fed.
Decision made, The first thing Arthur did was send word to the castle kitchens to prepare the meal. Merlin grumbled about it, but Arthur was used to that so he didn't let it bother him. It was a surprise date after all and it wouldn't do to do anything that might cause suspicion of his plans. It was slightly embarrassing how long it took him to decide what to wear, although it did allow Merlin time to ready the horses. Mostly. It was sort of cute, in a really irritating way, just how useless Merlin could be at something he had been doing for //months//. If Arthur hadn't been paying attention when he went to mount the looseness of the girth could have had him on his arse. Now he wasn't easy but it was a date and if his arse came was involved in any way then bruised from falling off his horse was not his first choice. It wasn't even in the top ten. He explained, much more calmly and with more patience than Merlin deserved, what he excepted from a good servant but it was a date, after all, so he let him off lightly.
Things improved somewhat when they got underway. The day was fine, a little fresh but not nearly as cold as Merlin made it sound. It wasn't like there was snow on the ground or anything. The sun was out, the sky was a clear blue which, if Arthur was feeling poetic he might have compared to Merlin's eyes. Not feeling the need to blurt out every thought that came into his head, unlike some people, Arthur kept that particular observation to himself. He wouldn't want Merlin to think he had gone soft in the head.
They stopped for lunch besides a stream. Letting their horses drink and graze while they ate. Given that Merlin had actually collected the food he seemed unreasonably surprised that Arthur was sharing it with him. It was at that point things started to go wrong. Arthur was never entirely sure what spooked the horses - he thought he saw a large black dog amongst the trees but he couldn't give it his full attention due to the pressing need to vomit up everything he had eaten in the past year. He just had time to notice that Merlin was also looking a bit green around the edges when the man showed up and he understood: he had been poisoned by a sorcerer.
A sorcerer who is clearly insane because he actually walked up and introduced himself. When Merlin introduced them in return because a. he is an idiot who has no thought that people might want to take advantage of Arthur's vulnerable state and b. Arthur too is busy retching to respond himself, the man he took one look at Merlin, looked a little faint and started talking about how amazing meeting him was which made Arthur even surer that the man was seriously delusional. Even Merlin looked more confused than normal. And not a little horrified, but it was Merlin and he had just come face to face with an evil wizard so Arthur was probably lucky that he was only feeling horror and not mind-numbing terror. That didn't stop him telling Merlin to run (and being ignored so maybe the horror was mind-numbing or maybe Merlin just was that dumb) and trying to unsheathe his sword and hold it in something that resembled a defensive manner. Everything was a bit fuzzy after that.
He knows that he manages to get the still flapping Merlin back to the castle, horses and all. His head is feeling much clearer and he's down to dry heaves by that point which makes leading the search for the warlock much easier. Merlin looked pale and nauseous as he saw Arthur off, twittering incoherently about how Arthur should be resting. As if he could rest while there is an evil sorcerer out their threatening Camalot and having the temerity to try and poison Arthur on the surprise date he so carefully planned and organised.
Still he got to ride off looking noble and manly at the end of it which always seems to impress people. Or at least everyone other than Merlin who is clearly weird. He reviewed the day while he led his men back to the picnic spot from whence they will start the search. It certainly wasn't the best date he'd ever had... although it also wasn't the worst either (which was just depressing, he was the Crown Prince after all). Plus he was beginning to think that Merlin, clotpole that he was, had not even realised that it was a date. It made him wonder why he bothered.
And exactly when Gaius got a dog?
16. If Ianto (9) were an animal, what would s/he be? Whose pet (possibly exotic) would they like to be?
from
jane_h
Blue-ringed octopus: small and relatively docile they are intelligent (like all octopuses) and use their camouflage ability to hide themselves - at least until provoked at which point they reveal their true colours and attacks with a venom powerful enough to kill an adult human (they are 5-8" and carry enough poison to kill 26 adult humans in a few minutes).
Whose pet would Ianto like to be... Giles or Methos, but I think that is more Ripperish than Gilesish and would take some explaining to the kids (unless they just failed to catch on and thought Ianto was a deputy librarian or something). Methos on the other hand has a thousands of years of keeping humans and just has to worry about Duncan giving him disapproving looks (at least they are probably supposed to be disapproving).
Oh wait - the Iantopus! *thinks* I can see Krycek liking the idea of a venomous, camouflaging octopus but it's a bit hard to find the time to look after a pet when you are a double... triple... however-many-times-agent/assassin on the run. However, from the octopus' perspective I expect he would like to be owned by someone who will give him a big tank to play in and remember to feed him regularly and do all the things that need to be done to keep an octopus happy. So I think the Iantopus will have to go with Remus. He could do with the company and he's responsible enough to look after him properly. Plus he can magic up fun toys for the Iantopus to play with.
Originally posted at http://fides.dreamwidth.org/6101.html. There are
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