Comments | ficwriter1966: SPN FIC

ficwriter1966

SPN FIC - Up On the Roof

Jun 03, 2009 20:32

jdsgirlbev -- I hope you enjoy this little ficlet for your birthday! I was re-watching SHADOW and thought a little bit of a coda might be in order for one of John's chief cheerleaders. :)

CHARACTERS: John
GENRE: Gen
SPOILERS: None
RATING: PG, for language
LENGTH: 1085 words

( Up On the Roof )

john, season 1

Comments 21

morganslady June 4 2009, 01:08:09 UTC

This was lovely yet sad, John somehow knowing he was nearing the end of his search..

ficwriter1966 June 4 2009, 11:32:33 UTC

Thank you! I think there's some comfort in knowing you're reaching the end of the journey, even if you don't think it will end well. That morning must have been a time of mixed feelings for John. Glad you liked it. :)

jdsgirlbev June 4 2009, 02:46:36 UTC

*SIGH* That's the John I know and love. He still looms large, for the boys AND me, even though he's been dead for three years now. Thank-you for writing this for me for my Birthday...lol. Imagine! I got JOHN for my Birthday! :D

ficwriter1966 June 4 2009, 11:34:38 UTC

Oh, wonderful! *twirls* I'm so glad you liked it. When I watched that episode, I thought seeing the boys, talking with them, embracing them, must have given John a little bit of extra strength to keep going.

Hope you have a terrific birthday!

caffienekitty June 4 2009, 02:56:33 UTC

*nods* Yeah.

ficwriter1966 June 4 2009, 11:37:22 UTC

There's an article in the newest SPN magazine that mentions Jensen's conversations with the guy who played Young John - he said whenever JDM played a scene with his boys, he had "love in his eyes." And I kept thinking, how important it must have been to John to just be with his sons for a little while, to embrace them and convey to them that he loved them. Makes a good subject for fic!

saberivojo June 4 2009, 03:23:24 UTC

Would’ve been worth just about anything.
Except what it would have cost

That right there. Perfect.

ficwriter1966 June 4 2009, 11:38:52 UTC

Dead Man's Blood might be your favorite John ep, but I think Shadow is mine, because of that scene in the hotel room where the boys embrace him. There's *so* much being said, mostly without words. Just awesome.

Glad you liked the fic!

may7fic June 4 2009, 03:47:48 UTC

Gorgeous, Carol. I loved every bit of it but especially how its rhythm and John's thoughts kept coming back around to his boys. They were his be all and end all, despite his so-called obsession. I'll always believe that and oh, how I miss him still so very much.

ficwriter1966 June 4 2009, 11:43:36 UTC

I think it must have been unbearably tough for John to stay away from his boys to protect them, when what he wanted (and they wanted) more than anything was just to be with them. So that little bit of time they spent together must have been *huge* for him. There's such love in the way they embrace and hold on to each other, like "I don't ever want to let you go."

I asked a male friend a long time ago if he thought men and women experienced love the same way, felt the same kind of love. He said yes, "but we express it in different ways." That's always stayed with me, especially when I think men are being...men. *g* And whenever somebody talks about John being a bastard and a lousy father, I remember that one scene in Shadow. Those three people love each other desperately.

Glad you enjoyed the story. :)

may7fic June 4 2009, 17:09:16 UTC

Those three people love each other desperately.

Absolutely! And, as much as I believe that, I also believe that this wasn't the first time hugs have been exchanged between father and sons. The "cold bastard" John we hear about so often in fandom just doesn't wash with me. Though we as fan-girls, don't get to see nearly enough brother-touching for our insatiable tastes, the arm on shoulder touches that John gives the boys and Sam gave him, etc., show me that demonstrations of affection were the norm and not the exception in that family. As with most North American adult men, they grow out of this demonstrativeness so, to me, for as little screen time as we've seen of John, we witnessed a lot of it between him and his sons. Just as we witnessed plenty of emotions/near tears/tears from cold, distant John too ;).

ficwriter1966 June 4 2009, 19:15:41 UTC

I'm sure there's been great reams of stuff written on that topic (the open demonstration of affection) but yes, from what we've been shown, I think you could reasonably say the Winchesters are (or want to be) an openly affectionate family. The boys even embrace Bobby (and vice versa) when the situation calls for it. They're somewhat guarded with their feelings, and seldom express themselves in words, but those small gestures say a lot.

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