SPN FIC - Tinkering
emeraldus gave me a prompt a couple of weeks ago -- what if Dean and Sam's story was optioned for a TV pilot? With serious grousing from Dean about who the network chose to play him. I went back and forth with some names, then settled on ... this. Crack ensues.
CHARACTERS: Dean and Sam
GENRE: Gen
RATING: PG, for language
SPOILERS: The Monster At the End of This Book (4.18)
LENGTH: 500 words
TINKERING
By Carol Davis
Denial
"Sam."
"Yeah. Okay. It says… Okay, it says the network has optioned Chuck's books. For a TV series. A pilot. They're gonna do a pilot."
"They're gonna do a TV show about us."
"Yeah."
"They can't do that. We're real people."
"They don't know that."
"It's just a pilot, right? So maybe it won't sell."
"Maybe not."
"They can't just do that. Without asking us. We could sue their asses."
"You're going to walk into somebody's office and tell them we're alive, when the FBI says we died in February of 2008."
"Yeah. Well. Maybe not. But it's still wrong."
Anger
"Sam?"
"They're - they've got Treat Williams playing Dad."
"Treat -? Oh, him. I can see it. Okay."
"And for me - they've got some guy named David Ward. Newcomer. They found him doing catalog modeling."
"Heh."
"What does that mean?"
"A catalog model? I ain't sensing Dustin Hoffman here, Sam."
"You would want Dustin Hoffman to play me."
"Whatever. Get to the good part."
"Um…"
"Talented, right? Handsome? Charming? Debonair?"
"Do you even know what 'debonair' means?"
"It means, I'm gonna kick your ass. Gimme a name."
"Michelle Trachtenberg."
"What?"
"Michelle -"
"WHAT?"
"You know. From -"
"I'm a freakin' GIRL??"
Bargaining
"Saaaaam."
"You're hyperventilating. You need to sit still. Put your head between your knees. Or something."
"I'm a GIRL?"
"Right now? You're purple."
"What -"
"They decided there would be interest in a female lead. Because of the network's. You know. Female-oriented programming. And they saw -"
"What?"
"In the. You know."
"Sam."
"Fanfiction."
"JESUS."
"Dean, really. You're gonna stroke out, man."
"Gimme a phone number. I need to call those bastards."
"I don't think -"
"Michelle freakin' TRACHTENBERG? They could at least have picked one of those hot chicks. From that other show."
"What other show?"
"The tree thing."
Depression
"SAM."
"Could you just listen to me? It makes sense. I mean - Mom was a hunter. So was her mother. Whose name was Deanna. That's what they're going to name the character. Deanna. So you could look on it as being a tribute to her. Not you. Okay?"
"Uhhhnnn."
"Okay?"
"Whatever."
"And it's not like we're going to actually sit and watch the thing."
"People will know, Sam."
"What people?"
"Bobby."
"He'll understand."
"The hell he will. He'll laugh his ass off."
"Maybe we need something to laugh at. Where are you going?"
"I'm gonna drink myself into a coma."
Acceptance
"Sam…"
"It could have a positive side. It might open people's minds. To the possibility of -"
"There being things out there in the dark? That want to freakin' kill them? Yeah, I can see where that'd be inspirational."
"To the reality of good and evil."
"I think they already get that. It's a TV show, Sam. They'll watch it, they'll freak out at the gore, and they'll go to bed."
"Maybe they'll talk. About family. And loyalty. Things like that."
"I guess."
"So it could rock."
"Yeah. Maybe. Long as they don't mess with my car."
"Well -"
"SAM??!?"
* * * * *
CHARACTERS: Dean and Sam
GENRE: Gen
RATING: PG, for language
SPOILERS: The Monster At the End of This Book (4.18)
LENGTH: 500 words
TINKERING
By Carol Davis
Denial
"Sam."
"Yeah. Okay. It says… Okay, it says the network has optioned Chuck's books. For a TV series. A pilot. They're gonna do a pilot."
"They're gonna do a TV show about us."
"Yeah."
"They can't do that. We're real people."
"They don't know that."
"It's just a pilot, right? So maybe it won't sell."
"Maybe not."
"They can't just do that. Without asking us. We could sue their asses."
"You're going to walk into somebody's office and tell them we're alive, when the FBI says we died in February of 2008."
"Yeah. Well. Maybe not. But it's still wrong."
Anger
"Sam?"
"They're - they've got Treat Williams playing Dad."
"Treat -? Oh, him. I can see it. Okay."
"And for me - they've got some guy named David Ward. Newcomer. They found him doing catalog modeling."
"Heh."
"What does that mean?"
"A catalog model? I ain't sensing Dustin Hoffman here, Sam."
"You would want Dustin Hoffman to play me."
"Whatever. Get to the good part."
"Um…"
"Talented, right? Handsome? Charming? Debonair?"
"Do you even know what 'debonair' means?"
"It means, I'm gonna kick your ass. Gimme a name."
"Michelle Trachtenberg."
"What?"
"Michelle -"
"WHAT?"
"You know. From -"
"I'm a freakin' GIRL??"
Bargaining
"Saaaaam."
"You're hyperventilating. You need to sit still. Put your head between your knees. Or something."
"I'm a GIRL?"
"Right now? You're purple."
"What -"
"They decided there would be interest in a female lead. Because of the network's. You know. Female-oriented programming. And they saw -"
"What?"
"In the. You know."
"Sam."
"Fanfiction."
"JESUS."
"Dean, really. You're gonna stroke out, man."
"Gimme a phone number. I need to call those bastards."
"I don't think -"
"Michelle freakin' TRACHTENBERG? They could at least have picked one of those hot chicks. From that other show."
"What other show?"
"The tree thing."
Depression
"SAM."
"Could you just listen to me? It makes sense. I mean - Mom was a hunter. So was her mother. Whose name was Deanna. That's what they're going to name the character. Deanna. So you could look on it as being a tribute to her. Not you. Okay?"
"Uhhhnnn."
"Okay?"
"Whatever."
"And it's not like we're going to actually sit and watch the thing."
"People will know, Sam."
"What people?"
"Bobby."
"He'll understand."
"The hell he will. He'll laugh his ass off."
"Maybe we need something to laugh at. Where are you going?"
"I'm gonna drink myself into a coma."
Acceptance
"Sam…"
"It could have a positive side. It might open people's minds. To the possibility of -"
"There being things out there in the dark? That want to freakin' kill them? Yeah, I can see where that'd be inspirational."
"To the reality of good and evil."
"I think they already get that. It's a TV show, Sam. They'll watch it, they'll freak out at the gore, and they'll go to bed."
"Maybe they'll talk. About family. And loyalty. Things like that."
"I guess."
"So it could rock."
"Yeah. Maybe. Long as they don't mess with my car."
"Well -"
"SAM??!?"
* * * * *