The Way You Were
Fandom: Tiger&Bunny
Pairing: Kotetsu/Tomoe, Kotetsu/Barnaby
Kink: None
Prompt: Tomoe is not dead but in a mental institution. Kotetsu visits her regularly. Barnaby finds out.
Warning: Character Death
Link: t-and-b-anon.livejournal.com/3336.html?thread=1872392#t1872392
She’s hugging her knees again. Her eyes fixated on a point on the wall. She doesn’t notice when he calls her name.
“Tomoe.” He says softly. She cocked her head, perhaps remembering an instance when she once responded to it. She looked at him and her lips moved.
He doesn’t hear what she says but he knew what she meant. She says the same thing every day.
“You. Who?” She asks all the time. The medicine kept the violent bouts of rage at bay. But they also drowned the spark of life that drew him to her.
She isn’t wearing glasses. They wouldn’t let her because she once broke them in half and stabbed an orderly. He got her a plastic pair but she broke those too and then jammed the pieces into a nurse’s face.
“Tomoe.” He says again, going over to kneel beside her. Her hand lashes out. The sound of flesh on flesh is deafening in the silence. His cheek burns but it seems to make her a little happier.
She taps the cheek she slapped and then turns her attention to his ring. It has been on his ring finger so long that it has left a band of white undarkened skin. He keeps hers at the very bottom of his shirt drawer though. She forced a fellow inmate to swallow it once and he nearly choked to death.
The only thing in the room she is allowed to have is a stuffed tiger.
The orderlies says that sometimes, when she’s better, she hugs it tight and calls his name. He doesn’t know if they were just being nice or if she really does it.
She doesn’t have long, the doctor says. The medicine will soon take a toll on her body. But she can’t stop taking it because then she’ll go back to before. And no matter how much he loves her, he cannot allow her to hurt anyone.
Anyone other than him.
His upper arms still bear the scratches she gave him when he carried her kicking and screaming to the institution. There’s a gouge on his back when she attacked him with a spoon. His heart still aches for the time when she is everything he ever needed or wanted.
She doesn’t remember him. She doesn’t know who he is. She doesn’t even know she has a daughter anymore.
He doesn’t want anyone else to see the shadow that she has become.
“Dead.” He always says quietly. “Dead and cremated.” For that purpose, he kept a jar of ashes on his mantelpiece, just to keep up the illusion that she is gone. It’s creepy enough that no one questions it. She is gone, in a sense. The person she used to be is gone. All that remains is a sad, angry screaming person who looks like her.
He felt guilty, visiting her more than he visited his own daughter. Also for feeling the spark come alive with another person which isn’t Tomoe.
He’s still married, married to her body and married to her memory. The memory of who she used to be.
“Bunny-chan scolded me again. It reminded me of you.” He tells her quietly. She doesn’t seem to hear, curling up in her corner again, wriggling her toes against the soft padded walls.
“Tomoe, could you ever forgive me?” He asks, not really expecting an answer.
Forgive him for what? For falling in love again? For moving on with his life? For quitting in the first place and causing her to be like this?
She doesn’t answer, only blinks up at him and peers at his nose. Her gaze travels downwards to his lips. She moves closer and there seems to be a light in her eyes. For a moment, he thinks she might have a lucid moment.
That thought is negated by a sharp pain in his hand and a loud crack. He sucks in a deep breath and holds in his scream. She dislocated his ring finger trying to pull the ring off.
An orderly rushes in and ushers him out just as she starts to thrash, screaming about fire and burning.
As he’s forcibly ejected from the room, he hears her screaming ‘Tora’ over and over again. She screamed the same thing when he saved her from the man. Her screams haunt his dreams sometimes.
He stands in front of the door as orderlies push past him and subdue her. A needle is procured from somewhere and its contents injected.
She falls asleep almost immediately.
He wishes he could just wake up and that this could all be a bad dream but dislocated fingers never hurt this much in bad dreams.
A nurse escorts him to the lobby but she doesn’t notice his finger is swelling. His heart aches for his lost love and he feels guilty for even letting himself begin to like another person in that way.
Neither knows about the other. He thinks maybe they never will. And maybe, he’ll just keep on hurting.
Barnaby is a stranger to jealousy. Hatred and anger has consumed him for far too long. This time, curiousity has made him question his partner’s weekly disappearances.
He’s never gone for too long. An hour, two. Sometimes three if it’s a slow crime day.
Barnaby doesn’t quite like the uneasy, unhappy feeling in his chest when Kotetsu disappears and never tells him why. Kotetsu deflects any questions about his absence when the other heroes ask him where he has been.
It stirs a part of Barnaby that he doesn’t really want to acknowledge.
Curiousity drives him to follow.
He follows and follows all the way until Kotetsu pulls up in front of Sunshine’s Mental Health Institution. The name of the place alone makes Barnaby worry. Does Kotetsu have some kind of disorder that requires treatment? Heroes are volatile and if they go off the rails, it can be very dangerous.
Nevertheless, Barnaby follows.
The Nurse doesn’t allow him to follow any farther than the lobby but he notices Kotetsu receive a warm greeting.
Barnaby waits in the lobby for what seems like an eternity. The nurse is reluctant to talk but only does so because he says that he’s worried for ‘the friend who just walked in’. His Hero status makes her trust him a little more.
She says little, only that there is a woman who was committed five years ago. Kotetsu visits her every week. NEXT powers were involved.
Barnaby worries as he waits. Five years ago. His partner has always been tight-lipped about the details of his wife’s death. Five years ago.
He prods a different nurse and is told a little more.
Kotetsu never misses a visit. He endures her violent rages and unreasonable actions. Her name is Tomoe.
The pieces he finds make up a ragged puzzle which Barnaby doesn’t like. He has had enough of puzzles.
When Kotetsu finally steps into the lobby, he’s rubbing his finger. The joint looks swollen. A doctor walks over, says something and takes Kotetsu’s hand. Kotetsu looks away. His eyes meet Barnaby’s as the doctor pulls.
Barnaby never finds out if his look of surprise was due to Barnaby being present or the doctor popping the joint back in place.
They leave together and sit in the gardens. Barnab doesn't dare to speak. He feels as if he has intruded on something private, something taboo, or perhaps, something sacred.
Kotetsu doesn't know what to say. He doesn't need to explain himself because they're not really dating and neither wants to point out the pink dancing elephant in the room.
The awkward silence is only broken by the sad wails of a lady in the distance.
"She..." Barnaby finally whispers.
"...my wife." Kotetsu mutters. He presses the ice-cube against his swollen finger and avoids looking at Barnaby.
Barnaby isn't very well acquainted with guilt but it seems to have made itself comfortable in that space just below his lungs. He regrets coming at all even though it explains why Kotetsu is always so reluctant to move on.
"What happened?" Barnaby asks. He wants to put an arm around Kotetsu but he's not sure it would be welcomed.
"I quit Hero work once." Kotetsu says, raising his head to stare at the flowers.
"Kaede was just born. Tomoe was still weak. My mother wasn't feeling that young anymore and I realised that I really wanted to be a family man." He continues.
"But Heroes always have arch-enemies and I doubt you've heard of Malicious Mamba." Kotetsu has to stop and wipe his eyes furiously. Barnaby feels the ball of guilt bounce off the insides of his rib cage and its very uncomfortable.
"Malicious Mamba didn't take too kindly to me stepping down. He thought I was mocking him by implying weaker heroes could take him out." Kotetsu laughs bitterly. "That was the time I used to be the King of Heroes." He smiles and tears drop, staining the ground with patches of moisture.
"He did something to her." He whispered. "Something dark and terrible and I don't know what it is."
Barnaby feels awkward, sitting there listening to his partner mourn. Kotetsu keeps repeating 'I don't know' and 'I'm sorry' as he sobs into his palms.
Barnaby wishes they taught 'Emotional support' in Hero School because he doesn't know what to do.
"She's going to die, Bunny. She can't hold out any longer. She's going to die because of me. I should never have quit in the first place!"
Barnaby suspects it's extreme self control that prevents Kotetsu from turning into a complete wailing and screaming mess. He gathers the hiccuping, sniffling, whimpering being that is his partner into his arms and rocks him gently.
"I've got you." He says awkwardly. "You can cry. I've got you." Barnaby repeats. The thing between them is unsure and unsteady. Yet this somehow changes it.
"I'll wait for you." Barnaby whispers as Kotetsu continues to cry. Years of trying to be strong means that there is a lot more to break down. Barnaby resolves to wait. He resolves to let Kotetsu say goodbye to his wife forever first.
Kotetsu's sniffles cease. He looks a mess with snot leaking out one side of his nose, eyes red and his cheek bruising.
"I'm sorry." He says softly to Barnaby.
Barnaby knows what he means.
"It's okay. I'll wait." He whispers again, repeating the phrase until Kotetsu cries himself to sleep.
It takes two years.
In that time, Barnaby has won 'King of Heroes' five seasons in a row only to be overtaken by Dragon Kid. Kotetsu remains the fourth and occasionally drops to fifth.
There's an influx of new heroes so no one really minds when Kotetsu doesn't respond or show up for a week.
The funeral isn't really much of a funeral. The orderlies are present only to deliver the cleaned body. Kotetsu is quiet as they show him the coffin.
Barnaby has a chance to see the woman whom Kotetsu loved. She looks haggard, strained and stubborn in death. Barnaby thought she was probably upbeat, interesting and quite pretty when she was younger.
Kotetsu spends a full ten minutes just staring at the body. He spends another twenty whispering to the cold corpse.
He whispers things about Barnaby, about Kaede, about the rest of the Heroes and other people. Barnaby flushes when his name is mentioned.
Kotetsu finally rises and prepares to leave. He lays his hat and tie on the coffin and steps back.
Barnaby approaches the coffin. Tomoe looks peaceful in sleep.
"I'll look after him." Barnaby whispers. "I waited for him, I'll look after him." He continues, getting a load off his chest.
The Bunny gently closes the viewing panel and allows the orderlies to cart the body away.
He reaches out when he walks towards Kotetsu. A firm hand closes over his.
Their fingers interlace and squeeze briefly.
"She's gone." Barnaby says at last.
"She's gone." Kotetsu affirms. A tear rolls down his cheek.
"Bye, Tomoe." He whispers.
The incinerators start.
His eyes close.
Pairing: Kotetsu/Tomoe, Kotetsu/Barnaby
Kink: None
Prompt: Tomoe is not dead but in a mental institution. Kotetsu visits her regularly. Barnaby finds out.
Warning: Character Death
Link: t-and-b-anon.livejournal.com/3336.html?thread=1872392#t1872392
She’s hugging her knees again. Her eyes fixated on a point on the wall. She doesn’t notice when he calls her name.
“Tomoe.” He says softly. She cocked her head, perhaps remembering an instance when she once responded to it. She looked at him and her lips moved.
He doesn’t hear what she says but he knew what she meant. She says the same thing every day.
“You. Who?” She asks all the time. The medicine kept the violent bouts of rage at bay. But they also drowned the spark of life that drew him to her.
She isn’t wearing glasses. They wouldn’t let her because she once broke them in half and stabbed an orderly. He got her a plastic pair but she broke those too and then jammed the pieces into a nurse’s face.
“Tomoe.” He says again, going over to kneel beside her. Her hand lashes out. The sound of flesh on flesh is deafening in the silence. His cheek burns but it seems to make her a little happier.
She taps the cheek she slapped and then turns her attention to his ring. It has been on his ring finger so long that it has left a band of white undarkened skin. He keeps hers at the very bottom of his shirt drawer though. She forced a fellow inmate to swallow it once and he nearly choked to death.
The only thing in the room she is allowed to have is a stuffed tiger.
The orderlies says that sometimes, when she’s better, she hugs it tight and calls his name. He doesn’t know if they were just being nice or if she really does it.
She doesn’t have long, the doctor says. The medicine will soon take a toll on her body. But she can’t stop taking it because then she’ll go back to before. And no matter how much he loves her, he cannot allow her to hurt anyone.
Anyone other than him.
His upper arms still bear the scratches she gave him when he carried her kicking and screaming to the institution. There’s a gouge on his back when she attacked him with a spoon. His heart still aches for the time when she is everything he ever needed or wanted.
She doesn’t remember him. She doesn’t know who he is. She doesn’t even know she has a daughter anymore.
He doesn’t want anyone else to see the shadow that she has become.
“Dead.” He always says quietly. “Dead and cremated.” For that purpose, he kept a jar of ashes on his mantelpiece, just to keep up the illusion that she is gone. It’s creepy enough that no one questions it. She is gone, in a sense. The person she used to be is gone. All that remains is a sad, angry screaming person who looks like her.
He felt guilty, visiting her more than he visited his own daughter. Also for feeling the spark come alive with another person which isn’t Tomoe.
He’s still married, married to her body and married to her memory. The memory of who she used to be.
“Bunny-chan scolded me again. It reminded me of you.” He tells her quietly. She doesn’t seem to hear, curling up in her corner again, wriggling her toes against the soft padded walls.
“Tomoe, could you ever forgive me?” He asks, not really expecting an answer.
Forgive him for what? For falling in love again? For moving on with his life? For quitting in the first place and causing her to be like this?
She doesn’t answer, only blinks up at him and peers at his nose. Her gaze travels downwards to his lips. She moves closer and there seems to be a light in her eyes. For a moment, he thinks she might have a lucid moment.
That thought is negated by a sharp pain in his hand and a loud crack. He sucks in a deep breath and holds in his scream. She dislocated his ring finger trying to pull the ring off.
An orderly rushes in and ushers him out just as she starts to thrash, screaming about fire and burning.
As he’s forcibly ejected from the room, he hears her screaming ‘Tora’ over and over again. She screamed the same thing when he saved her from the man. Her screams haunt his dreams sometimes.
He stands in front of the door as orderlies push past him and subdue her. A needle is procured from somewhere and its contents injected.
She falls asleep almost immediately.
He wishes he could just wake up and that this could all be a bad dream but dislocated fingers never hurt this much in bad dreams.
A nurse escorts him to the lobby but she doesn’t notice his finger is swelling. His heart aches for his lost love and he feels guilty for even letting himself begin to like another person in that way.
Neither knows about the other. He thinks maybe they never will. And maybe, he’ll just keep on hurting.
Barnaby is a stranger to jealousy. Hatred and anger has consumed him for far too long. This time, curiousity has made him question his partner’s weekly disappearances.
He’s never gone for too long. An hour, two. Sometimes three if it’s a slow crime day.
Barnaby doesn’t quite like the uneasy, unhappy feeling in his chest when Kotetsu disappears and never tells him why. Kotetsu deflects any questions about his absence when the other heroes ask him where he has been.
It stirs a part of Barnaby that he doesn’t really want to acknowledge.
Curiousity drives him to follow.
He follows and follows all the way until Kotetsu pulls up in front of Sunshine’s Mental Health Institution. The name of the place alone makes Barnaby worry. Does Kotetsu have some kind of disorder that requires treatment? Heroes are volatile and if they go off the rails, it can be very dangerous.
Nevertheless, Barnaby follows.
The Nurse doesn’t allow him to follow any farther than the lobby but he notices Kotetsu receive a warm greeting.
Barnaby waits in the lobby for what seems like an eternity. The nurse is reluctant to talk but only does so because he says that he’s worried for ‘the friend who just walked in’. His Hero status makes her trust him a little more.
She says little, only that there is a woman who was committed five years ago. Kotetsu visits her every week. NEXT powers were involved.
Barnaby worries as he waits. Five years ago. His partner has always been tight-lipped about the details of his wife’s death. Five years ago.
He prods a different nurse and is told a little more.
Kotetsu never misses a visit. He endures her violent rages and unreasonable actions. Her name is Tomoe.
The pieces he finds make up a ragged puzzle which Barnaby doesn’t like. He has had enough of puzzles.
When Kotetsu finally steps into the lobby, he’s rubbing his finger. The joint looks swollen. A doctor walks over, says something and takes Kotetsu’s hand. Kotetsu looks away. His eyes meet Barnaby’s as the doctor pulls.
Barnaby never finds out if his look of surprise was due to Barnaby being present or the doctor popping the joint back in place.
They leave together and sit in the gardens. Barnab doesn't dare to speak. He feels as if he has intruded on something private, something taboo, or perhaps, something sacred.
Kotetsu doesn't know what to say. He doesn't need to explain himself because they're not really dating and neither wants to point out the pink dancing elephant in the room.
The awkward silence is only broken by the sad wails of a lady in the distance.
"She..." Barnaby finally whispers.
"...my wife." Kotetsu mutters. He presses the ice-cube against his swollen finger and avoids looking at Barnaby.
Barnaby isn't very well acquainted with guilt but it seems to have made itself comfortable in that space just below his lungs. He regrets coming at all even though it explains why Kotetsu is always so reluctant to move on.
"What happened?" Barnaby asks. He wants to put an arm around Kotetsu but he's not sure it would be welcomed.
"I quit Hero work once." Kotetsu says, raising his head to stare at the flowers.
"Kaede was just born. Tomoe was still weak. My mother wasn't feeling that young anymore and I realised that I really wanted to be a family man." He continues.
"But Heroes always have arch-enemies and I doubt you've heard of Malicious Mamba." Kotetsu has to stop and wipe his eyes furiously. Barnaby feels the ball of guilt bounce off the insides of his rib cage and its very uncomfortable.
"Malicious Mamba didn't take too kindly to me stepping down. He thought I was mocking him by implying weaker heroes could take him out." Kotetsu laughs bitterly. "That was the time I used to be the King of Heroes." He smiles and tears drop, staining the ground with patches of moisture.
"He did something to her." He whispered. "Something dark and terrible and I don't know what it is."
Barnaby feels awkward, sitting there listening to his partner mourn. Kotetsu keeps repeating 'I don't know' and 'I'm sorry' as he sobs into his palms.
Barnaby wishes they taught 'Emotional support' in Hero School because he doesn't know what to do.
"She's going to die, Bunny. She can't hold out any longer. She's going to die because of me. I should never have quit in the first place!"
Barnaby suspects it's extreme self control that prevents Kotetsu from turning into a complete wailing and screaming mess. He gathers the hiccuping, sniffling, whimpering being that is his partner into his arms and rocks him gently.
"I've got you." He says awkwardly. "You can cry. I've got you." Barnaby repeats. The thing between them is unsure and unsteady. Yet this somehow changes it.
"I'll wait for you." Barnaby whispers as Kotetsu continues to cry. Years of trying to be strong means that there is a lot more to break down. Barnaby resolves to wait. He resolves to let Kotetsu say goodbye to his wife forever first.
Kotetsu's sniffles cease. He looks a mess with snot leaking out one side of his nose, eyes red and his cheek bruising.
"I'm sorry." He says softly to Barnaby.
Barnaby knows what he means.
"It's okay. I'll wait." He whispers again, repeating the phrase until Kotetsu cries himself to sleep.
It takes two years.
In that time, Barnaby has won 'King of Heroes' five seasons in a row only to be overtaken by Dragon Kid. Kotetsu remains the fourth and occasionally drops to fifth.
There's an influx of new heroes so no one really minds when Kotetsu doesn't respond or show up for a week.
The funeral isn't really much of a funeral. The orderlies are present only to deliver the cleaned body. Kotetsu is quiet as they show him the coffin.
Barnaby has a chance to see the woman whom Kotetsu loved. She looks haggard, strained and stubborn in death. Barnaby thought she was probably upbeat, interesting and quite pretty when she was younger.
Kotetsu spends a full ten minutes just staring at the body. He spends another twenty whispering to the cold corpse.
He whispers things about Barnaby, about Kaede, about the rest of the Heroes and other people. Barnaby flushes when his name is mentioned.
Kotetsu finally rises and prepares to leave. He lays his hat and tie on the coffin and steps back.
Barnaby approaches the coffin. Tomoe looks peaceful in sleep.
"I'll look after him." Barnaby whispers. "I waited for him, I'll look after him." He continues, getting a load off his chest.
The Bunny gently closes the viewing panel and allows the orderlies to cart the body away.
He reaches out when he walks towards Kotetsu. A firm hand closes over his.
Their fingers interlace and squeeze briefly.
"She's gone." Barnaby says at last.
"She's gone." Kotetsu affirms. A tear rolls down his cheek.
"Bye, Tomoe." He whispers.
The incinerators start.
His eyes close.