[Supernatural]: Wishing Is Cold This Year

[minviendha]

Title: Wishing Is Cold This Year
Fandom: Supernatural
Summary: Dean has his head rather determinedly up his ass, so it falls to Castiel to take this one. Post 5.03ish, from a prompt by checkthemargins about Castiel and Sam h/c.
Warnings: mention/discussion of suicide
Notes: Less Sam/Castiel than I wanted, but about what I expected when I started this. (Someday I

Comments

[sinka]

This story is everything that I love about Sam & Castiel relationship. This simply perfect the way you gives us a glimpse inside Castiel's mind and how he feels compelled to help Sam even against his will and good judgement. And how little by little he realizes he actually *likes* Sam and the reason he avoided him is because he felt guilty for betraying and manipulating him.

Dean is... an asshole, as it was during most of season 5 (and we can never get tired of reading the different scenarios of their separation in 5x03, huh?), so I was secretly gleeful that Castiel didn't deem him worthy of knowing he was with Sam. Because right now Dean does not *deserve* to be with Sam! Worry and suffer, you sucker!!

But at the same time, Sam would have been so much happier if Dean had been there to take care of him... it breaks my heart that everytime Sam has gone through withdrawal, Dean has hidden his head in the sand. In some sense, I do believe Dean knows Cas is with Sam, but he doesn't want his suspicions to be confirmed. It's the EASY WAY for Dean to be kept in the dark.

And Sam... so beautiful in every way. The way he ask Castiel to take care of his brother, and how he's rationally planning his own demise not because he wants to run away, but because he honestly think it's what would help his brother to accomplish his mission.

Also, Sam's hallucinations of Dean torturing him or killing him or simply rejecting him were heartwrenching, but that's really nothing new... I don't think Sam will ever stop thinking that's what Dean really feels about him.

By the way, I've ALWAYS believed that what made Cas understand human nature and become more and more human was in fact Sam. At this moment Cas is still clumsy and awkward and he doesn't really know what to do or how to care, therefore he only hurts Sam more with his words eventhough he means well. But it was this human-monster that never gave up and that always kept on fighting which made him realize the courage and value of humanity. A pity we don't get this on the show.

The world needs more Sam & Cas scenes, damn it! But I bet they wouldn't be even 1/10 as awesome as yours, so I'm grateful by your insight!!

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I truly think that part of why Cas is so distant toward Sam, particularly in S5, is his guilt. And the fact that he doesn't know how to deal with it, and doesn't like that he feels it. So he avoids Sam and makes it Sam's fault and - so on and so forth.

Never get sick of reading about different scenarios during their separation, nope. Never ever ever. And yeah, Castiel's not telling him was a little bit petty of him, but I think it...made sense to Castiel. He didn't feel like Dean needed to know. At the end, I think Dean has guessed, yes, is pretty sure, but doesn't really want to know, and yet at the same time really does. I don't think Dean knows what to do with himself here.

Sam is at his most painful to me when he's at his most rational. At his most calm. Here, he's just so...deliberate, about his intentions, so calm. And it just hurts me, it really does. And yes, exactly - it's not because it's the easy way out, it's because it's the logical thing, of course. Oh Sam.

I agree that it is Sam who teaches Castiel how to be a little more human. Because Sam is so goddamn human, and I think while Castiel fell for Dean, it really is Sam who shows him a little about humanity. Which is part of why I think 2014!Cas was such a mess, because Sam wasn't there to get him further there before disaster, and um I'm going to stop psuedocanoning now.

I will probably write more Sam & Cas scenes, so I will at least do my part! But I agree that the world always needs more. Always always more. Thank you so much! I always love your detailed, thoughtful comments.