[Supernatural]: Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence

[minviendha]

Title: Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence
Fandom: Supernatural
Prompt: From checkthemargins at ohsam here.
Summary: Sam's back. He's in one piece. That's the problem.
Warnings: self-mutilation, hellferences, random use of Latin
Notes: In which, once again, my attempts at both slash and hurt/comfort turn out way more horror than either. Oh dear. Still, sick of staring

Comments

[minviendha]

As I just said in that meme - Sam is understatement. Sam is downplaying and letting just enough out to get away with keeping the rest quiet. And yes, yes, what I find most painful about this Sam is that he does firmly believe what he's saying, that this is just normal, this is just how things are, and the thing is that he's so good at making it sound true because he believes it himself. His mindset is, like, "well, yeah, it's too bad, but this is just the way things are, so it's okay" and there is so much wrong with that considering where he is. And yesss, it is at least partially (in my head) because that is what Lucifer would do, twist Sam around and convince him that everything was for the best. I have written this fic already.

I think having that much space in your head might actually be dangerous, yeah. Considering how much Hallucifer has been taking up, there's a vacuum now, and something's got to take its place, and it only makes sense that it'd be the rest of the damage.

God, Sam, you're such a mess. The more I write about it the more I want to roll around in it forever feel sorry for him.

I am not entirely convinced by the end either. Sam is trying to convince himself, but I don't think he really believes it either. I think he knows that it might last for a little while, but not forever. That he'll have to find new coping mechanisms. And yes, that's exactly it - there'll be no warning for Dean, nothing, because as far as Sam will show everything will be peachy-keen right up until the moment he bleeds out.

...so that's my depressing tl;dr for this fic. XD Thank you, as always! You are lovely and say lovely things.