(no subject)
After being ignored by Ryan for 3 days, he calls me tonight to tell me that he "Can't deal with the whole attachment thing." And basically he's not dating anyone for a long while. I fell for him too fast and too hard and now I'm an emotional mess. I knew he just got out of a long term relationship. I knew he still had [strong] feelings for his ex. But no. All I fucking care about is myself so I really didn't let that phase me. Now I realize though, there's more important things in life to just dwell on myself. I should have looked more carefully at the posistion he was in. I didn't though, that's all that matters. People don't hurt me. I hurt myself.
I remember posting a few months ago saying, "I'm going to make myself happy no matter what it takes." But right now, I feel like I should focus on other people's feelings before I focus on my own. I should listen, and try and expirence what a person is going through to help myself get a better understanding of their life.
I know I love myself. I know I'm stuck up and conceited. I know I think I'm just about the hottest damn thing on the planet. I think it's time to change things though. I don't want to be like that anymore. That's precisely why I always end up getting hurt... I think I'm superior to everyone else in this whole bloody world, and then I get proved wrong. But whatever. I'm never gonna be fucking good enough for anyone. I keep waiting and waiting for the right guy to come along, and just when I think I've found him, I get proved wrong.
I don't fucking care what you think about the way I run my life which is why I'm still going to disable commenting. If you have to give me your fucking lame ass imput that bad, just call me. [921.2845].
Until then, I will just end this entry saying I'm going to try and change myself for the better. I'll keep you updated on my progress, but don't expect too much out of me.
I remember posting a few months ago saying, "I'm going to make myself happy no matter what it takes." But right now, I feel like I should focus on other people's feelings before I focus on my own. I should listen, and try and expirence what a person is going through to help myself get a better understanding of their life.
I know I love myself. I know I'm stuck up and conceited. I know I think I'm just about the hottest damn thing on the planet. I think it's time to change things though. I don't want to be like that anymore. That's precisely why I always end up getting hurt... I think I'm superior to everyone else in this whole bloody world, and then I get proved wrong. But whatever. I'm never gonna be fucking good enough for anyone. I keep waiting and waiting for the right guy to come along, and just when I think I've found him, I get proved wrong.
I don't fucking care what you think about the way I run my life which is why I'm still going to disable commenting. If you have to give me your fucking lame ass imput that bad, just call me. [921.2845].
Until then, I will just end this entry saying I'm going to try and change myself for the better. I'll keep you updated on my progress, but don't expect too much out of me.