Until It Sleeps 2/2 (the bad romance series)
Beta: gwencarmichael Love you BB!! :)
A/N: Ok , I've never said this before, cuz I don't want to presume, but you might want to get tissues ready. My thanks to everyone who has read and loved this.<3333 Aslo, it's been too long since Adam and Tommy have fooled around...so here we go...
UNTIL IT SLEEPS 2/2
Later that night after Kris left, Adam and Tommy did things a little differently. Adam had just gotten out of the shower and realized he'd forgotten to bring a pair of shorts with him to the bathroom. He toweled off a little and wrapped it around his waist, heading into the bedroom where Tommy was waiting on the bed.
Tommy took one ear-bud out and turned off the music. "Baby, c'mere a sec."
Adam's hair was a little drippy and he was on his way back to the bathroom. "What is it, Tommy?"
"Come over here a sec," said Tommy, putting his music aside and scooting over to the foot of the bed. He had on a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt.
From the way Tommy was looking at his body, Adam figured maybe he had a bruise or something that he didn't know how he got and Tommy wanted to examine it.
He stood in front of the blonde with a whataya-want-from-me look and said, "Do I have a freckle out of place or something?"
Tommy smirked, sitting with his legs folded under him. "Smart-ass."
"Better than being a dumb-ass..."
"True. Hey Adam...you don't have to - you know - but I was just wondering...I - I haven't seen you ...naked...since we met a century ago. I was wondering if you'd let me see you."
Adam would have complained about his dripping hair if not for the look on Tommy's face. In stead he just asked in a small voice, "I don't...get why you want to..."
Tommy shrugged. "I remembered what a turn on you were back then. Do you even know how long it's been since the last time I got it up?"
Adam tossed his crumpled shorts onto the bed and lightly started rubbing his shoulder. "I'm sorry baby...I know we don't talk about it much..."
"No, don't be sorry...I just want you to know I think you're beautiful and...maybe you wouldn't mind helping me get off...but if you ...you know if you can't, I totally understand."
Adam cupped on side of Tommy's face. "Baby, I'll do anything for you," Adam said, hoping he could hold true to it. If Tommy was feeling brave than he had to try. He leaned in and kissed his boy. Then his kisses trailed to Tommy's neck, not biting at all but caressing and tasting.
Tommy whispered, "I promise I won't touch you, I just wanna look...can I take your towel off?"
Adam stood up straight, a bit of heat in his face. Tommy desiring him was a turn on for Adam and had been since the beginning. "You might arouse me too...you ok with that?"
"Lookin' forward to it," Tommy said, a smile twitching his mouth. "So can I?"
Adam's blue eyes were soft. He was loving the idea of helping Tommy with his intimacy issues. So he nodded and took Tommy's hand, a hand that had once been so long and straight and must have played the guitar so well. Now there was a middle knuckle that was perpetually swollen, two fingers that had healed slightly crooked, and there was a light scar across the pinky knuckle area. Tommy said it didn't hurt anymore but was uncomfortable in the joints for him to play, so off and on he'd do these hand exercises so he could get better. Adam kissed his hand and laid it on his toweled hip.
Tommy felt the cloth for a moment before trailing slowly across Adam's abdomen where an end was tucked in against his stomach. Tommy locked eyes with his lover and un-tucked the soft cloth but kept it in his hand.
Adam shivered, not only because he was indeed very naked, but also for the rush of cold air now having access to his middle. He recovered and just kept staring into Tommy's eyes.
Tommy looked a bit lustful, but he whispered, "You ok, baby?"
Adam's breath was shaky but he nodded, able to continue. Tommy brought the towel to Adam's hair and dried him off a little more, careful not to cover his eyes. Then he kissed Adam again, open mouth...always open mouth, because Tommy had not been able to before with his jaw wired shut. When they broke, he said he loved Adam and his eyes slowly explored.
Tommy's mouth was slightly agape with his eyes in total focus. He spent a second worshiping Adam's chest and then his stomach, and licked his lips when his vision settled on the impressive cock he remembered. Tommy unconsciously touched himself through his shorts as he stared at it.
Adam only had to make the smallest effort to stay calm. It felt strange to be seen again, even if it was Tommy, but at the same time he was doing cartwheels inside because his boyfriend actually wanted to ogle him. He watched Tommy touch himself, and it definitely started to turn him on.
Tommy took off his shirt quickly and looked up at Adam finally to see how he was, but Adam was busy staring at Tommy's nipples, looking like he wanted to touch them. "Baby...it's ok...you can touch me..." Tommy whispered. "Maybe you'll let me...touch you too?"
It had certainly been a while since Tommy had tested the waters, and Adam was half erect right now so he had a bit of a distraction. He said hoarsely, "Yeah...sure."
"You first," Tommy's voice was dripping with lust. With all the permission he needed, Adam reached out and let one thumb circle around Tommy's nipple. And as if that was the perfect technique, Tommy had let out a small moan, sporting a full hard on inside his pants. "Oh! Oh fuck! Adam..." Tommy panted. He looked surprised and happy that it was happening so quickly. "Adam...please, um..."
Adam had a good idea of what Tommy needed. They'd only fucked the one time, but Adam had also touched Tommy that night and had no problem doing it again if Tommy was ok. He lowered the sweats to Tommy's bent knees and kissed him once again as he possessed the desperate, hard cock. Tommy made a sound like he wanted to say something. Adam broke the kiss.
"I don't need a distraction, Adam. I know this'll be hot. Just let me watch you, ok?"
Adam agreed, whatever Tommy wanted. He knew the blonde had been waiting for this. Letting his hand catch as much pre-cum as possible from the leaking tip, Adam slicked Tommy up sufficiently and began stroking. Tommy braced himself on Adam's shoulders and bit his lip, closing his eyes in ecstasy. He was moaning on the second stroke and then looked down to dart between Adam's cock and his own.
"Uh! That's...so fuckin'...mmmm, that feels good." Tommy's voice was airy, remembering the sensations again and loving it.
Adam worked, feeling the pulsing cock in his had and knew his boy wasn't going to last long. He timidly placed a hand on Tommy's hip to brace him a little better, and when Tommy didn't object, that's when he pulled harder and within seconds Tommy was totally gone. With ragged keening and clenched eyes, he was spraying Adam's stomach crying, "Yes!"
By the time Tommy was collapsing on to his haunches, Adam was wiping them both with his towel and was completely turned on by how much his boyfriend enjoyed himself. His hand lingered along his dick to relieve a bit of pressure and then Tommy's hand on the towel, making him stop. Adam looked into Tommy's eyes.
Tommy looked at him as if to say, 'you've done it now, brace yourself.' His look was smoldering and still full of desire, only this time, his desire was to get Adam off as thoroughly as possible. But he didn't do anything impulsive. He asked first. "Baby, let me suck you...please. I swear to god I won't touch you unless you want me to."
Adam, feeling rushed, only gave himself a couple of seconds to think about it and then he said, "Ok...but just go ahead and hold my hips of you want." He should be able to handle that.
Looking rather excited, Tommy carefully reached out with both hands and lightly grasped Adam by the hips, vowing to keep them there. Then he was licking Adam with his eyes closed, and the sight of it made Adam cum already, with a guttural grown. Tommy quickly closed his lips around the shaft to swallow him down. Adam's face immediately went red as he realized what happened. Disappointment filled him as he'd barely felt anything. When Tommy sat up, looking at him, Adam apologized in between panting breaths.
"It's ok, baby..." Tommy hugged him tight, catching his own breath. He rubbed Adam between his shoulder blades and repeated. "It's ok, I'm here...it's ok."
Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy and was quiet. He came too soon, he thought, and felt impaired. Tommy wanted him to feel good, and it was over before it began.
Tommy leaned back so he could look into that gorgeous face. He was smiling. "Baby, you're so sexy. You made me feel so good. I know I can make you feel good too...I just need..." The blonde looked down as if ashamed.
He couldn't stomach the thought of Tommy thinking the only way Adam could have a proper orgasm was by fucking him. Adam didn't know that himself, and he just hoped Tommy didn't believe it. Going by what just happened, wasn't he the inadequate one here?
Making Tommy look at him, Adam said, "I know, honey. It felt...ok." He lied. It was pathetic, but he wanted Tommy to feel better. "We can try again some other time. I'm just glad you got some relief. Don't worry about me."
Tommy pulled up his sweats. "I can worry about you if I want, Babyboy. Now, get the lights and some to bed. I'm gonna kiss you 'til your lips bleed."
-IT GRIPS YOU SO HOLD ME. IT STAINS YOU SO HOLD ME
-IT HATES YOU SO HOLD ME. IT HOLDS YOU SO HOLD ME
-UNTIL IT SLEEPS
Connie was on her honeymoon, but the other guys were told by Adam that he was visiting his parents and they wanted to go, too. Adam asked Tommy, "Are you sure? You know I won't hide the fact that you're my boyfriend from them, and they might freak out."
"Well, you don't have to fuck my mouth with your tongue while they watch, Adam, but if they can't handle us holding hands or something then that's their problem," said Tommy. Then he added, "You can fuck my mouth with your tongue after."
Adam laughed.
As it turned out, the afternoon they were set to go, Monte got called into work to cover for someone, so he expected a full report later, and Kris drove Adam and Tommy over to the Lamberts. When they were getting out of the car though, Adam's dad came out to meet them. He passed Tommy like the boy didn't exist and went straight to Adam.
Mr. Lambert hesitated, taking a minute to take in how well Adam looked now that his face healed, then he seemed to right himself quickly and said, "Son, I'm glad to see you...but I needed to warn you first. We couldn’t reach you earlier...we don't have your number so we couldn't call."
"Dad, just tell me..." Adam said, like 'cut the shit'.
The man sighed. "Neil showed up about ten minutes ago. He won't leave."
"What?" Adam exclaimed. Tommy instinctively went to Adam's side as if to protect him. The dad ignored him, having more he wanted to say.
"We told him not to come because that's what you wanted, so he knew that you'd be here. Adam, just listen to me. I don't care if you pay attention to anything else, but just hear this, Neil is tearing himself apart from not being able to see you or talk to you. He's desperate for you to hear what he has to say. You can't keep doing this, Adam. I know you suffered tremendously...but we're suffering too. It's not human to hear that and not care, and I know you're human, so just take a minute, please and consider seeing your brother...please."
Adam was glaring but was looking even more pressured and on the spot. He wasn't sure what to do, and he immediately turned to Tommy, who pulled him into a hug, whispering, "Take your time, Babyboy. It's ok. Just calm down."
Kris approached Mr. Lambert to distract him from Tommy's affection with his son. "So, he's inside right now?"
Mr. Lambert nodded. "My wife is keeping him inside until Adam's made his decision. Look, you're his friend, can't you talk to him?"
Kris shook his head. "I've tried. Besides, I think this is between Adam and Tommy. They were the ones there that night. Not me." Kris gestured back to the lovers.
Mr. Lambert looked at the blonde boy. "Th-that's Tommy Ratliff?"
Kris nodded. "Adam was going to introduce you today."
The dad's eyes looked a bit glazed. He went over to where his son and the boyfriend stood. "Tommy?"
Tommy looked at him, patting Adam on the shoulder so he would let go. To both their surprise, the dad was extending his hand out to the boy who'd survived the same attack as his son. Adam watched like a hawk, not trusting it, but he didn't move as Tommy shook it, opting to grab the man's thumb rather than do that 'businessman' handshake.
"How ya doin', Pop?"
Aside from a brief look of shock on Mr. Lambert's face, there was an immediate break of tension, and Adam doubled over, laughing his ass off. Kris was busting a rib from giggling and Tommy just displayed a shit eating grin. Soon, Mr. Lambert was cracking a smile too and before he knew it, he'd succumbed to his son's infectious laughter. He instantly liked Tommy in spite of himself.
When Adam finally calmed down, he stood in awe of his boyfriend who had been determined to turn this into a 'meet the parents' day. He gave him a hug and whispered, "You're so strong, baby. I love you." He felt Tommy smile against his neck.
Then he turned to his father, now in a less guarded and morose mood, and he said, "Um, I think I can go in...I just need a minute, ok? Can you go inside and wait for me?" Mr. Lambert was all for it, and he went back up the side walk toward the house.
Adam let out a big breath, as he went and leaned up against the side of Kris' car. His friends followed, ready to give him the pep talk he was going to need.
Kris said, "You can do this, Adam. You'll be just fine."
Adam nodded and looked at Tommy. "I won't go in there if you don't want me to. I haven't forgotten how he fought you that night."
Tommy put his hand on Adam's face. "Baby, you do what you want to do. I'm not leaving your side, got that? I'm not quite the same person I was back then, and neither are you. And from what I hear, neither is your brother...by a lot. I'm fine...and you're gonna be fine too. You both deserve some forgiveness, I think."
"Both?" Adam arched an eyebrow.
"It's complicated, Babyboy. You need to forgive Neil for the way he handled that night. Not just for him, but for you too. Even if he never forgives himself...that kind of doesn't matter. You gotta do this for you...so you can move on."
Adam looked at Kris who was agreeing, and he realized that's what Kris was trying to tell him since the day he got out of the hospital. Before he met the Lamberts, Kris only knew Adam's side of the story - and he sure took Adam's side, too. But then he was able to see the Lamberts as real people who may have been misguided and confused before hand but were trying to make amends. He hadn't pushed Adam too much, but had known for a while that his friend held the grudge long enough. Even Adam was able to see that it was time to let it go.
With a final hug from both of them, Adam walked with both arms around the backs of his friends toward the house. He went inside the house he'd not seen for the better part of a year and realized it still smelled the same. He was nervous but protected with Tommy's hand in his. When the front door shut, Adam saw his mom, and beside her on the couch was a man he could hardly recognize.
The two of them looked in shock at each other. Adam had looked so much worse the last time Neil saw him and Neil had looked a shit-load better.
Neil's eyes were red, wet and bloodshot, riddled with pain and guilt. God, he looked so skinny and sick...the kind of sick that even made hair go flat and lifeless. He was shaking like a Chihuahua, and Adam imagined stress had been eaten away at him all this time. He looked like a strung-out crack head.
Adam couldn't move, but Neil stood up, aided by his mom and took a few steps forward as if this was his only chance. He croaked out Adam's name and broke down, falling to his knee but didn't fall into his mother's consolation. All he could do was say Adam's name again, with all his guilt and regret spelled out plainly in the sound of his voice and in his tears.
Before he knew it, Adam rushed across the living room floor to kneel in front of his brother, and each held on with a vice grip. Mrs. Lambert had moved away to give them space, and the two brothers wept on each other's shoulders.
In fact the whole lot who stood by went in the dining room, quietly watching or listening to the men's wordless cries. Neil sounded much more pitiful though. Adam was just a kaleidoscope of emotion that he couldn't sort out at all. He was so shocked at Neil's appearance, the tough hetero brother he'd been had crumbled long ago.
Adam wished he'd listened to his mom, knowing now that she'd tried to tell him so many times. He was concerned and hating himself, blaming himself for what Neil was going through...and also, he cried because he felt like Neil did in fact love him. It was something he didn't fully realize he'd wanted until now. All those times he'd given in...all those times Neil would harass him or make fun of him growing up. Adam didn't take it because he was weak. He took it because if he got mad, then he'd ruin everything. If he got mad, then Neil wouldn't love him someday.
Now Adam was holding his brother together, and once he'd regained a whisper of a voice, he started trying to get his brother to calm down. "Don't do this to yourself, man. I'm so sorry...I never wanted you to feel this bad, Neil. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
This seemed to cause the order sibling to break down even more, like he'd lain awake at nights imagining those very words coming from Adam. Anything he said to Adam at this point was indiscernible, so Adam just held him and made soothing shhhh sounds, until his brother had completely worn out.
-I'LL TEAR ME OPEN, MAKE YOU GONE
-NO MORE CAN YOU HURT ANYONE
-AND THE FEAR STILL SHAKES ME
-SO HOLD ME UNTIL IT SLEEPS
-IT GRIPS YOU SO HOLD ME
-IT STAINS YOU SO HOLD ME
-IT HATES YOU SO HOLD ME
-IT HOLDS YOU, HOLDS YOU, HOLDS YOU
-UNTIL IT SLEEPS
The Lamberts and Adam's friends kind of huddled in a doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, talking quietly, and Kris was in a place he could keep his eye on the two brothers for the rest of them.
The husband and wife were recounting a few things that had gone on with their son since the trial ended, that Neil had been sick and was drinking and lost his job, but they just didn't know how to make Adam - the one person who could help - understand. After all, Adam had been through so much, too. Then they were telling Tommy how happy they were that he seemed to be doing to so well. They felt bad as parents for what happened to him but just didn't know how to approach the Ratliffs during the trial.
Tommy wasn't bitter. "No one knew the right thing to do. Neither did Adam...He ran away because he thought that was the right thing to do. Now he's probably wishing he'd done this months ago."
Kris agreed. "We kinda went through the same thing you guys did. Adam's been so fragile, we just couldn’t bring ourselves to make him deal with anything. We even told him he needed time, we just didn't think he'd choose to hide so completely with no sign of budging."
"I'm so glad he had you boys..." said Mrs. Lambert. "We couldn't give him the help he needed, but at least he had you."
"We love him," said Tommy, "And we know you do, too. I think Adam's gonna realize that real soon. Don't give up."
"Thanks, Tommy. You're a good kid," said Mr. Lambert.
They all stretched their necks then to see how the boys were doing.
Things were a lot calmer now. Adam knelt with Neil's side against his chest and his head on his shoulder. Adam rocked him like a child and looked purely drained.
Mrs. Lambert went to her sons, holding back the tears at seeing them together again. She persuaded and helped them to get off the floor and sit on the couch. Her husband was bringing them both a bottle of water. (Actually, they looked like they could use a few stiff drinks, but Mr. Lambert never was big on offering his sons hard liquor.) Tommy and Kris remained in the dining room while the Lambert family reconciled.
Adam apologized for staying mad at them for so long and avoiding them like the plague. The parents apologized for not accepting Adam while he grew up. Neil was just plain sorry about everything. Then, Adam thanked his family for handling everything with the trial. He still didn't want to hear any details but apologized for putting it all on their shoulders. All the while, he kept his arm around his trembling brother.
Then the boys were called in. Adam introduced Neil to Kris, but Neil wouldn't look Tommy in the eye, knowing full well who he was and what his 'friends' had done to him. Tommy always thought it was a prick thing for Neil to just leave them in that house and not even make an anonymous phone call, but, like Adam, he felt the dude had suffered enough.
He sat right in front of Neil on the wood coffee table in front of the couch and started talking to him like any two guys would. Tommy was hunched over with his arms resting on his knees and trying to look into Neil's lowered face as he talked. He said it was time for him to stop blaming himself for what those assholes did. If Neil hadn't come and stopped them, then both he and Adam might have died. Tommy understood he panicked and just wanted to run away. "Must run in the family," Tommy teased Adam, who turned red, but didn't argue, knowing the blonde was just trying to lighten the tension again.
Then Tommy said, "I know it looked like Adam was avoiding you because he blamed you...but I never thought that was the case...You may have hurt him in the past and I think Adam was just sick of hurting, so he decided to cut out all the things that once made him feel bad. He didn't want to see you, he didn't want to talk about the trial or what happened, but that night wasn't your fault. If you're gonna apologize for something, apologize for stuff that happened before you both went to that party."
Finally, Neil looked at Tommy, daring to find hope in the blonde's words.
"Neil, you ok?" Adam asked.
Neil looked at him but shook his head. Adam sighed. Then Neil said, "I'm sorry, Adam." He could barely make sound come out. "I know you came here to see mom and dad, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to try..."
"I know...now I know...you don't have to explain." said Adam.
"And I'm sorry for always pickin' on you...I was such an asshole...a real fuckin' piece of shit and you never...It's not true, Adam. Everything I used to say...none of it's true. You're a...you're a cool guy and...I'm so glad you're my brother ...and I want you..." Neil glanced at Tommy, "...to be happy."
Adam couldn't help but cry again. In one sentence, Neil had taken back everything he said growing up, he acknowledged Adam as being worth something, and he accepted Tommy as the one who Adam wanted. Itwas everything Adam wished from his brother but never got until now. They hugged again and said I love you.
That day, Adam started to believe that not every good event was met with pain. Maybe pain would always be overcome by healing as long as there were as many people around as possible who loved him.
Concluded with "A Year After"
Metallica vid "Until It Sleeps"
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