[DBSK] - [FIC][C] Occupational Hazards and Workers' Compensation - 2/2
complete
Disclaimer: clearly i don't own DBSK... not intended for profit, just for fun.
Rating: R (for violence and language)
Genre: action, a bit of romantic comedy
People: Changmin, Jaejoong, cameos by Yunho and Junsu
Pairings: JaeMin
Warnings: none? Changmin has a girlfriend in the beginning, but she only appears briefly in part 2. ^^;;;
Beta: miyun
Dedication: frayen for the hug______ 2010 Holiday Fic Exchange.
“Do you think Yoochunnie and Junsu are okay?” asked Jaejoong.
“I’m sure they’re fine." Changmin's tone was light, casual. "Junsu’s been my partner for two years, and, don’t tell him I said this or I’ll kill you myself, he’s a really good agent.”
“I wish he and Yoochun would just get back together.”
Changmin paused in the middle of pulling on his pajamas. “Why? The last months of their relationship were so melodramatic. Junsu was so frustrated all the time. He almost fell off a building, and Junsu is never the clumsy one.”
“But they’d been together for eight years. They’re so in tune with each other. They’re, like, in perfect sync all the time. You put the two of them in a room, no matter what the size or how many other people are there, and the two of them will find each other in seconds.”
“That’s not really much of a basis for a relationship.”
Jaejoong scoffed. “So share with me your expert insight on relationships, oh wise one. Yours going perfectly then? You never fight, you’re never frustrated, and, what, your relationship is based on something more ‘real’ than what’s between Yoochun and Junsu? Do the two of you connect on a soul-deep level and not even the heavens can rip you apart? Does she ‘complete you like you’re only half a person when she’s not by your side?’”
“Fuck you, *hyung*.”
The way Changmin stressed the honorific made Jaejoong back off instantly.
“Hey, Changmin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just being sarcastic. I thought you’d recognize the lyrics for what they are.”
Changmin tugged angrily at his duvet.
“I don’t miss her.”
Jaejoong stopped in the middle of changing into his sleep pants, one leg suspended mid-air.
“We used to see each other every day, and we were just like Yoochun-ssi and Junsu, all in-tune with each and junk. We moved into this apartment together, bought Mangdoongie, and it all seemed perfect, but since she’s been away... I don’t miss her. I *don’t* feel like half my soul is missing. I haven’t talked to her in days, and this afternoon is the first time I’ve thought about her since her last call. If you hadn’t picked up her photo...”
“Oh, Changmin…” Jaejoong hurriedly pulled on his pants so that he could look Changmin straight in eye, all cutesy playfulness gone. “That ‘always on my mind’ and ‘never whole without you’ crap is just trite nonsense written by drunk and sarcastic bastards like me. It’s just pretty words that we put to music to make money. Absolutely no relationship should be held to the standards of love song lyrics. Really.”
Changmin sighed.
“I guess so,” he said finally. “You do have that one song where the girl dies and you say that the taste of her kimchi will remain on your tongue for all eternity. Which is less romantic and more gross.”
“You mean ‘poetic’.”
The corners of Changmin’s lips lifted just a bit even though he tried to hide his smile.
“Hey, Jaejoong?”
“Yes?”
“You know this is my bed right?”
Jaejoong climbed in under the covers and gave Changmin a sloppy kiss on the jaw.
“I know. But your guest bed has a lumpy mattress and I’m very delicate.”
Changmin kicked him out of the bed with one swift move.
===
Changmin stepped out his bathroom to find Mangdoong sitting very primly just outside the door, like she was waiting for him. Seeing as she’d taken to following Jaejoong around like he was her everything, this was a bit surprising to Changmin, even though he was one who fed her. He craned his neck to look up and down the hall for any signs of the rock star, but Jaejoong was nowhere to be seen.
Or heard.
He looked down at his dog once again.
“Mangdoongie…”
She cocked her head and looked up at him.
“Where’s Uncle Jaejoong, hm?”
Mangdoong’s tail wagged a bit when she heard ‘Jaejoong’. Changmin sighed.
“Find me Uncle Jaejoong, Mangdoongie. Good girl.”
Mangdoong did a full butt wag before she got up and started snuffling around the hall.
Changmin made sure his towel was tied securely around his waist before stepping out to follow his dog. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t get dressed first, wasn’t sure why he didn’t mind that he was dripping water everywhere and leaving wet footprints on the hardwood floor. All he knew was that suddenly there was a strange pressure building in his chest, something pushing him to find Jaejoong immediately.
Mangdoongie led Changmin down the hall, through the dining room, across the living room, and straight to the balcony doors.
“KIM JAEJOONG!” Changmin bellowed, even though the sliding glass doors were closed. “WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?”
Instantly, the NIS Special Agent in Changmin flipped into high alert. He reached without looking for his spare K-5 handgun hidden in the bookshelf next to the balcony doors. He scanned the scene outside quickly, gaze flicking from Jaejoong leaning on the balcony rail, to each of the two nearest high rise buildings, and then to the road below.
Moving slowly, he slid the door open and edged out, staying low and close to the wall. He held his gun down, pointing at the floor and safety on, but his grip was tight, his finger resting on the safety release.
“Jaejoong!” he hissed, reaching out and trying to snag the back of Jaejoong’s shirt with his left hand. “Jaejoong, step away from the railing and get back inside right now!”
Changmin didn’t want to make any sudden movements that would draw attention to them. The view from his balcony was unobstructed, but there were several buildings around his apartment that could provide vantage points for snipers, and Changmin knew that you could see people standing against his balcony railing from the street. Just because it was unlikely that anyone knew where they were didn’t mean that they could be reckless with their safety and throw all caution to the wind. After all, their safehouse had been a ‘top secret’ location as well and look what happened there. Whoever was hunting Park Yoochun and his family had more resources at their disposal than anyone had guessed.
“Kim Jaejoong, I’m serious. Have you forgotten why you’re here? This isn’t a vacation! GET BACK INSIDE.”
Jaejoong turned around and froze, his eyes wide and mouth agape. He openly gawked at Changmin, running his gaze from the angry/frightened look on his face, to the broad, bare chest still glistening from his shower, and then down to the gun in his hand. The veins in Changmin’s forearms stood out in bold relief, testament to the tension running through his body.
“Ch-changmin-ah…” He licked his pink, pink lips.
“Get. In. Side.”
Jaejoong hurriedly scurried back across the balcony towards Changmin.
“If you pull my towel off on your way past me, I’m going to shoot you in the face.”
Jaejoong quickly drew his hand back and tucked it into his pocket. Then he hopped into the apartment without a word.
Changmin was livid when he came back in. He was so mad, in fact, that he couldn’t even speak. He checked the safety on his gun and placed it back in its hiding place. He gave Mangdoong a tight hug and then deposited her in Jaejoong’s arms. Then he stalked into his bedroom and slammed the door shut as hard as he could, all without saying a word.
Jaejoong held MangDoong and the two of them stared down the hall into which Changmin had disappeared.
Not even a minute later, Changmin came storming back out. He had put on a shirt, but his lower half was still wrapped in a towel.
“Are you stupid? People are trying to kill you! I bring you into my own home to keep you safe and you’re out on the balcony like a flashing lighthouse. Your hair might be back to black, but do you realize how recognizable your face is? Your shoulder line? Your posture? Don’t you know that your fangirls have been able to successfully identify you from over two blocks away just from observing you walk or even just seeing you lean against a fence?”
Jaejoong pouted a little bit and drew Mangdoong closer to his face.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a small voice, eyes wide and a little frightened.
“What were you thinking, Jaejoong? Seriously. What if you’ve given our location away?”
“I’m sure no one saw… The sun was setting behind me and I didn’t turn on any lights. I was careful not to face any of the other buildings straight on.”
Changmin sighed and ran his hands roughly through his hair.
“I… I just got so tired of being cooped up. And I really needed a smoke.”
Changmin’s head shot up.
“You put both our lives on the line because you needed a SMOKE.”
Jaejoong buried his face against Mangdoong.
“Don’t yell at me. Smoking is an addiction,” he whined.
Changmin said nothing.
“I used to smoke at least three times a day. It’s been four days since my last cigarette. I was getting desperate and-”
“No more.”
Jaejoong looked at Changmin.
“No. Don’t give me that cutie face. It doesn’t work on me. You are not allowed outside while under my protection and you are not allowed to smoke inside my house. Those are the rules and you are going to live by them.”
Jaejoong blinked.
And then he smirked.
And then he giggled, though he did try to hide his laughter behind Mangdoong.
“Are you fucking serious,” said Changmin.
“I’m sorry, but you’re not wearing any pants and it’s not very authoritative…” Jaejoong couldn’t stop laughing now.
Changmin paused for a second. Then he pulled off the towel, stalked up to Jaejoong, and wrapped it tightly around his face.
“Laugh that off, pretty boy.”
After Changmin got dressed, and Jaejoong made them tea and a pre-dinner snack of peanut butter sandwiches, the two men sat down and apologized formally for the melodrama. Jaejoong apologized for being irresponsible. Changmin apologized for overreacting. Mangdoong chose to sit on Jaejoong’s lap. They sat and drank their tea in a companionable silence for a couple of minutes.
“God, I could seriously use a smoke.”
Changmin wadded up his dirty napkin and threw it at Jaejoong’s head.
“Mm, the scent of Shim Changmin,” cooed Jaejoong, making a moony expression at Changmin.
“No smoking. It’s bad for your voice anyway.”
“Just admit you’re one of my fanboys.”
“I don’t fanboy men.”
“Then how come you know so much about my hairstyles and my stalkerazzi?” Jaejoong arched an eyebrow at him.
“I read.”
“About me.”
“Seriously. You need to stop.” Changmin put his mug down, hard.
Jaejoong took a deep breath and sat back, stretching his arms above his head.
“I’m really sorry. Honestly. I just… I get weird when I’m craving a cigarette. I’ve always been like this.”
“Well, but you’re an idol. It can’t always be convenient for you to sneak out and have a smoke. How do you usually deal with the withdrawal?”
There was an awkward expression on Jaejoong’s face.
“What, now you’re keeping secrets from me? You sneak into my bed at night. You’re trying to steal my dog’s love from me. You’ve seen me naked now. And, oh yeah, you almost got me killed.”
“Let’s just say I try to distract myself from the cravings.”
Changmin stared at him.
“With?”
There was another pause and another awkward look from Jaejoong.
Then he surged forward and planted a hard kiss on Changmin’s lips.
Changmin promptly slugged him in the shoulder.
Jaejoong was trying to hide his smile.
“What the hell, man?” Changmin didn’t know where to look or what to do with his hands.
“I notice that you didn’t hit me that hard…” said Jaejoong.
“Shut up! What the hell?”
Jaejoong shrugged. “You asked me how I distracted myself from the nicotine cravings. Now you know.”
The two men stared at each other.
“No smoking.”
“As long as I get to kiss you every time the craving gets me panicky.”
“As long as I get to hit you after every kiss.”
“Only if it’s a kiss on the lips.”
Changmin paused.
Jaejoong let out a victorious cry, and then he planted a wet sloppy kiss on Changmin’s cheek.
Changmin hit him again.
===
Regardless of how many times Changmin booted Jaejoong from his bed at night, every morning Changmin would wake up to find Jaejoong curled up against him sleeping happily.
First the guest bed wasn’t good for Jaejoong’s back. Then the guest room was too warm or too cold. The floor was too hard. The couch was made of leather and therefore too sticky… and it squeaked. Jaejoong was lonely, he had a nightmare, or he was worried about his cousin.
Today’s excuse was:
“I want to sleep with Mangdoongie, but she always escapes from my room and comes in here!” Jaejoong clutched the small dog to his chest.
Mangdoong flailed a bit.
“You… wanted to sleep with my *dog*.” Changmin’s leg was already poised to kick Jaejoong off the bed.
“She’s so cute and cuddly!” He rubbed her ears and she nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck. “And my feet get cold without her lying on them.”
Changmin snatched Mangdoong out of Jaejoong’s arms and kicked him off the bed with both legs.
“My dog is not your personal foot warmer, you spoiled brat.”
Mangdoong kicked Changmin in the face as she scrambled to get back to cuddling with Jaejoong.
“I hate you both,” muttered Changmin.
Jaejoong’s laughter floated up from the floor… where he laid playing ‘airplane’ with Mangdoong.
“It’s been a couple of days; you should call in this afternoon. And tell someone to get us more hot sauce and kimchi. There’s this magical vacuum around here that sucks that stuff down like there’s no tomorrow.”
“It’s conceited to talk about yourself all the time,” Jaejoong sang, still from the floor.
Changmin didn’t bother answering. He had no idea why Mangdoong liked Jaejoong at all. His dog had no taste.
“You know, you’re not as charming as you think you are, either!” Jaejoong called out, even though Changmin hadn’t voiced his thoughts out loud.
“You’re a useless lumpy lump on an extra lumpy log!” he called back.
Jaejoong put Mangdoong down and came around the bed to throw an arm around Changmin’s shoulders.
“I know all this waiting is really frustrating for you, trapped in this apartment with me. I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass when I’m bored.”
Changmin stared at Jaejoong.
“Did you break into my vodka last night? You still smell like alcohol.”
Jaejoong smiled a lazy smile and nuzzled against Changmin’s shoulder.
“I think I’ll check in with Yunho’s sister today. I’ll ask her to bring stuff to make my special extra spicy seafood stew, okay? I know you like that one.”
Changmin tried very hard to stay annoyed.
“That’s *your* favourite hangover food. I’ve read your profile online.”
Jaejoong buried his laugh against Changmin’s neck.
“I’ll make kimchi fried rice too.”
Changmin had to turn away to hide his smile.
===
By the eleventh night, Changmin had given up the good fight on getting Jaejoong to sleep in the guest room or anywhere else other than Changmin’s bed. They’d gotten into several arguments, and more than one physical altercation, over it and the result was: Jaejoong was way more persistent than he looked. He also had more patience than it initially appeared. And he was surprisingly strong to boot. In his own home, Changmin had been watched, stalked, beaten, teased, forcibly kissed, sort of sexually harassed, and physically thrown over Jaejoong’s shoulder to be bodily moved from one room to another.
Changmin had no more arguments to make.
He climbed into bed, made sure Jaejoong was tucked in securely with Mangdoong, and then turned off his table lamp.
“Goodnight, Jaejoong.”
“Goodnight, Changmin-ah.”
Mangdoong snuffled.
“My dog used to sleep against *me*,” Changmin couldn’t help but mutter.
Jaejoong giggled softly and shuffled closer to Changmin.
“Pre-bed cigarette,” he announced, pressing a chaste kiss to Changmin’s lips.
Changmin slapped Jaejoong’s hip half heartedly.
There was a light scuffle, as usual, but after the dust settled Jaejoong squirmed around until he had aligned himself against Changmin so that they were touching from shoulder to ankle… also as usual.
And then they were quickly asleep.
It was still quite dark when Changmin next opened his eyes. He wondered what had disturbed his sleep seeing as it couldn’t be Jaejoong trying to sneak into his bed again.
“Oppa…”
Changmin jerked upright, and his girlfriend let out a little shriek as she just narrowly avoided being viciously headbutted.
“Eunjung!” He whispered happily. “You’re home!”
She backed away from his outstretched arms.
“Oppa… who’s that in bed with you?”
“What?” He turned. “Oh.”
In the pre-dawn gloom, he could see Eunjung’s eyes shimmer as tears started to well.
“Nonono,” he was quick to say. “It’s another guy. Don’t worry. It’s work-”
She was shaking her head slowly, backing away another half step.
Changmin hopped out of bed and had his girlfriend in his arms in two steps. He held her tight as she struggled weakly against him.
“I’ve been assigned a protective custody case, honey, I swear.” He kept his voice low but intense. “Some shit went down and I had to hide him somewhere no one would think to look. You were away… the house was empty and brand new…”
“Is he in a lot of trouble? You can’t even let him sleep in a separate room?” Eunjung’s eyes were wide with curiosity and instant worry for Changmin’s charge.
“Uh…” Changmin didn’t quite know what to say to that. “Well… It’s not that I can’t… uh…”
Eunjung looked contrite.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t call ahead!” she whispered. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything! Will you need to report this to your boss?”
Changmin smiled and hugged her tightly. She was such a selfless person that he felt bad about the Jaejoong situation. He hated that he felt guilty because it wasn’t like he was cheating on her and it wasn’t like he was lying… exactly. But there was no way he could tell Eunjung that Jaejoong kept sneaking into his bed. It just didn’t sound right. It wouldn’t *ever* sound right, really.
“I’ll, um, explain more outside. But I’m sorry, I can’t let you stay here until my case is done. It’s too dangerous. Can you take a cab to your parents’ by yourself?”
“Of course!” Eunjung took Changmin’s hand and let him pull her gently out into the hall. “Wait, let me take Mangdoongie to get her out of your hair. Where is she? She’s usually on your side of the bed.”
Before Changmin could stop her, Eunjung pulled away and ran up to the bed to search for their dog.
“Oh my god, is that Kim Jaejoong?”
“Yes. Come on.” Changmin caught up to her and tugged at Eunjung’s shoulder. Jaejoong was unpredictable and Changmin really didn’t want to find out what kind of nonsense he’d come out with if he woke up now to Eunjung in his face. “Leave Mangdoongie. She and Jaejoong get along great and she keeps him busy during the day.”
But Eunjung had gone completely rigid.
“Kim Jaejoong is gay, right? Everyone knows that.”
“Well, it’s not that he’s… I mean, we didn’t really talk about it, and-”
“You let a gay man share a bed with you?” Eunjung’s voice was getting louder.
“Well even if *he’s* gay, *I’m* obviously not so what does it matter?”
Eunjung whirled around to look Changmin straight in the eye.
“It matters that I come home to find my boyfriend in bed with a naked gay man wrapped around him!” she shrieked.
Wracking his sleep-addled memory, Changmin did recall that Jaejoong was cuddler when he slept, and he could still feel a band of warmth around his middle where Jaejoong’s arm had lain before Changmin had gotten up to chase after Eunjung. But as far as he could remember, Jaejoong had gone to bed with clothes on and so was not ‘a *naked* gay man’ though he *had* been wrapped around Changmin.
Alarmed, Changmin ripped the covers off Jaejoong’s sleeping form to discover that Eunjung was partially right. Jaejoong was in nothing but his boxer briefs.
“KIM JAEJOONG. WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?”
Jaejoong tried to bury his head under Mangdoong’s little body.
“Got hot at night. You’re so toasty. Like a breakfast sandwich. But tastier. You taste great,” Jaejoong mumbled, half into Mangdoong’s tummy.
Eunjung looked like she was going to pop a blood vessel.
“Honey, he’s not actually awake. He just babbles in his sleep. I’m serious. You know how I sleep talk? He has like sleep verbal diarrhea. Words just come out of his mouth. He does not know what I taste like.”
“I licked you yesterday,” Jaejoong blurted out, from under Mangdoong. “Your… Gochu… like it. Too thick. Had to lick it.”
“GochuJANG!” Changmin emphasized the last word. “He licked gochujang off of my elbow. The sauce was too thick and sticky and it wouldn’t wipe off. Not that he licked my ‘gochu’ because it was too thick-not that I use ‘gochu’ as a slang for anything-- Okay nothing is coming out right, but it’s not what you’re thinking even though I would not presume to tell you what to think or how to think it because I respect you as an independent human being.” Changmin took a deep breath. “What the hell am I saying?”
Eunjung looked so sad that it was breaking Changmin’s heart.
“I don’t know how to make this okay right now,” he said dejectedly. “It looks bad, I know. Everything I say now will sound indecent, but it’s not how I mean it. I swear. Why don’t we just go call a cab for you now? You can take a couple of days to rest up at your parents’ and... try not to think about this. Hopefully my case will be resolved soon and we can talk.”
Eunjung nodded, but didn’t say anything until she was leaving.
“I don’t know if you noticed this, oppa,” she said quietly, “but you’re not really wearing any clothes either.”
Changmin wanted to explain that he’d gone to sleep shirtless because he’d spilled tea on himself just as he was getting ready for bed and he had been too lazy to dig out a clean top. But nothing came out when he opened his mouth because, truthfully, he’d managed to ‘spill something’ on his sleep shirts every night for the past week or so. And if he thought about it, he could almost feel the soft slide of Jaejoong’s arm across his bare stomach.
Eunjung smiled sadly and gave him a light peck on the cheek before she left.
Two days later Changmin got the all-clear and Jaejoong was allowed to go home.
===
One night, a couple of weeks after surviving the dramatic ordeal of running for his life through the narrow streets of a generic suburban neighbourhood with a tall, handsome NIS agent at his back and then being cloistered with said agent in ultra top secret protective custody, Jaejoong was disturbed from his nightly 1am ramyeon-making in his own kitchen by someone insistently pressing on the doorbell of his apartment like a child.
Jaejoong was surprised to see Changmin waiting for him when he checked the peephole.
“Special Agent Shim Changmin! You missed me!” he bellowed as he flung open the door, heedless of the hour.
Changmin rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, right I missed you, you brat.”
Jaejoong cocked his head slightly as he took notice of the giant suitcase sitting on his ‘Welcome’ mat.
“My girlfriend broke up with me. She said it was because my job was too dangerous and she really didn’t appreciate me bringing someone who was being hunted by professional hitmen into our home. But I’m pretty sure a large part of the reason was her finding you mostly naked in my bed.”
“In bed with *you*, you mean. I was mostly naked in bed with *you*.” Jaejoong smirked.
“This isn’t funny! You’re not even sorry!” Changmin cried. “And she took my dog!”
Jaejoong gasped.
“Not Mangdoongie! I love her!”
“Hey! We’re talking about *me* here!”
Jaejoong gazed earnestly at Changmin and said with crushing sincerity: “I love you too!”
“Wait...” Changmin was taken aback. “That’s not what I was going for...”
“Sure it wasn’t.”
Changmin stared at Jaejoong for a full minute. Then he blinked.
“I don’t love men,” said Changmin.
Jaejoong blinked back.
“But *I* love *you*,” responded Jaejoong, his expression open and sincere.
They stood at an impasse. Neither seemed willing to concede. Changmin was an immovable rock in arguments like this. Jaejoong knew that very well, but it didn’t stop him from trying to goad a reaction out of him.
“Plus you need a place to stay, apparently. So you should probably say something about loving me or I won’t offer to let you be my roomie.”
“I only need to stay somewhere for a week while Eunjung moves out of the apartment. I could go to a hotel, but I figured you owed me for the two weeks I had to put you up.”
Jaejoong barred the doorway with his body.
“You have to say you love me too.” He was firm. “It’s like the secret password to get into my home.”
“I’ve got a better password for you,” said Changmin.
He then proceeded to throw Jaejoong over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and walk straight into the apartment. Jaejoong was laughing so hard that Changmin nearly dropped him. But they made it to the kitchen where Changmin set him back onto his own two feet.
“I want spicy seafood stew. And kimchi fried rice!” he demanded.
Jaejoong reached up the ruffle Changmin’s hair as he agreed to make the requested dinner the next day.
For now, he bustled about getting two small bowls so that Changmin could share his late-night ramyeon snack. Changmin fiddled with the packet of shredded seaweed that came with the instant noodles.
“Are you okay, like, feelings-wise?” Jaejoong asked carefully, making weird hand gestures in the general vicinity of his heart.
Changmin shrugged one shoulder and didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. Jaejoong figured he wasn’t going to give much more of an answer, and so he began divvying up the noodles between the bowls. There was still no comment by the time he set Changmin’s bowl in front of him.
“Hey, do you have a dog too?” Changmin asked suddenly, too loudly, pointing at the little set of ceramic dishes on the kitchen floor.
Jaejoong was so startled that he almost lost his noodles to the floor.
“Oh...” Jaejoong looked around for a second before pouncing on a little grey ball of fur that was trying to sneak away before Jaejoong saw it. “Ah! Gotcha! I have a cat!” He held it out to Changmin. “This is Jiji, now the second love of my life after you.”
Jiji bit Jaejoong’s hand. Pretty hard.
Changmin held out his arms and took the squirming cat from Jaejoong.
“Ah, looks like Jiji and I are going to get along great.”
Jaejoong looked like he couldn’t decide whether to pout pitifully or just laugh.
So Changmin leaned over and gently, hesitantly, kissed Jaeoong on the lips.
“It might not be what you want to hear right after your highly awkward declaration of love in your foyer but I think I might probably like you… quite a bit more than normal. So... don’t let it go to your head... but you know...”
Jaejoong seized Changmin’s face with both hands and kissed him with force.
Jiji bit both of them.
--end--
Disclaimer: clearly i don't own DBSK... not intended for profit, just for fun.
Rating: R (for violence and language)
Genre: action, a bit of romantic comedy
People: Changmin, Jaejoong, cameos by Yunho and Junsu
Pairings: JaeMin
Warnings: none? Changmin has a girlfriend in the beginning, but she only appears briefly in part 2. ^^;;;
Beta: miyun
Dedication: frayen for the hug______ 2010 Holiday Fic Exchange.
“Do you think Yoochunnie and Junsu are okay?” asked Jaejoong.
“I’m sure they’re fine." Changmin's tone was light, casual. "Junsu’s been my partner for two years, and, don’t tell him I said this or I’ll kill you myself, he’s a really good agent.”
“I wish he and Yoochun would just get back together.”
Changmin paused in the middle of pulling on his pajamas. “Why? The last months of their relationship were so melodramatic. Junsu was so frustrated all the time. He almost fell off a building, and Junsu is never the clumsy one.”
“But they’d been together for eight years. They’re so in tune with each other. They’re, like, in perfect sync all the time. You put the two of them in a room, no matter what the size or how many other people are there, and the two of them will find each other in seconds.”
“That’s not really much of a basis for a relationship.”
Jaejoong scoffed. “So share with me your expert insight on relationships, oh wise one. Yours going perfectly then? You never fight, you’re never frustrated, and, what, your relationship is based on something more ‘real’ than what’s between Yoochun and Junsu? Do the two of you connect on a soul-deep level and not even the heavens can rip you apart? Does she ‘complete you like you’re only half a person when she’s not by your side?’”
“Fuck you, *hyung*.”
The way Changmin stressed the honorific made Jaejoong back off instantly.
“Hey, Changmin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just being sarcastic. I thought you’d recognize the lyrics for what they are.”
Changmin tugged angrily at his duvet.
“I don’t miss her.”
Jaejoong stopped in the middle of changing into his sleep pants, one leg suspended mid-air.
“We used to see each other every day, and we were just like Yoochun-ssi and Junsu, all in-tune with each and junk. We moved into this apartment together, bought Mangdoongie, and it all seemed perfect, but since she’s been away... I don’t miss her. I *don’t* feel like half my soul is missing. I haven’t talked to her in days, and this afternoon is the first time I’ve thought about her since her last call. If you hadn’t picked up her photo...”
“Oh, Changmin…” Jaejoong hurriedly pulled on his pants so that he could look Changmin straight in eye, all cutesy playfulness gone. “That ‘always on my mind’ and ‘never whole without you’ crap is just trite nonsense written by drunk and sarcastic bastards like me. It’s just pretty words that we put to music to make money. Absolutely no relationship should be held to the standards of love song lyrics. Really.”
Changmin sighed.
“I guess so,” he said finally. “You do have that one song where the girl dies and you say that the taste of her kimchi will remain on your tongue for all eternity. Which is less romantic and more gross.”
“You mean ‘poetic’.”
The corners of Changmin’s lips lifted just a bit even though he tried to hide his smile.
“Hey, Jaejoong?”
“Yes?”
“You know this is my bed right?”
Jaejoong climbed in under the covers and gave Changmin a sloppy kiss on the jaw.
“I know. But your guest bed has a lumpy mattress and I’m very delicate.”
Changmin kicked him out of the bed with one swift move.
===
Changmin stepped out his bathroom to find Mangdoong sitting very primly just outside the door, like she was waiting for him. Seeing as she’d taken to following Jaejoong around like he was her everything, this was a bit surprising to Changmin, even though he was one who fed her. He craned his neck to look up and down the hall for any signs of the rock star, but Jaejoong was nowhere to be seen.
Or heard.
He looked down at his dog once again.
“Mangdoongie…”
She cocked her head and looked up at him.
“Where’s Uncle Jaejoong, hm?”
Mangdoong’s tail wagged a bit when she heard ‘Jaejoong’. Changmin sighed.
“Find me Uncle Jaejoong, Mangdoongie. Good girl.”
Mangdoong did a full butt wag before she got up and started snuffling around the hall.
Changmin made sure his towel was tied securely around his waist before stepping out to follow his dog. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t get dressed first, wasn’t sure why he didn’t mind that he was dripping water everywhere and leaving wet footprints on the hardwood floor. All he knew was that suddenly there was a strange pressure building in his chest, something pushing him to find Jaejoong immediately.
Mangdoongie led Changmin down the hall, through the dining room, across the living room, and straight to the balcony doors.
“KIM JAEJOONG!” Changmin bellowed, even though the sliding glass doors were closed. “WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?”
Instantly, the NIS Special Agent in Changmin flipped into high alert. He reached without looking for his spare K-5 handgun hidden in the bookshelf next to the balcony doors. He scanned the scene outside quickly, gaze flicking from Jaejoong leaning on the balcony rail, to each of the two nearest high rise buildings, and then to the road below.
Moving slowly, he slid the door open and edged out, staying low and close to the wall. He held his gun down, pointing at the floor and safety on, but his grip was tight, his finger resting on the safety release.
“Jaejoong!” he hissed, reaching out and trying to snag the back of Jaejoong’s shirt with his left hand. “Jaejoong, step away from the railing and get back inside right now!”
Changmin didn’t want to make any sudden movements that would draw attention to them. The view from his balcony was unobstructed, but there were several buildings around his apartment that could provide vantage points for snipers, and Changmin knew that you could see people standing against his balcony railing from the street. Just because it was unlikely that anyone knew where they were didn’t mean that they could be reckless with their safety and throw all caution to the wind. After all, their safehouse had been a ‘top secret’ location as well and look what happened there. Whoever was hunting Park Yoochun and his family had more resources at their disposal than anyone had guessed.
“Kim Jaejoong, I’m serious. Have you forgotten why you’re here? This isn’t a vacation! GET BACK INSIDE.”
Jaejoong turned around and froze, his eyes wide and mouth agape. He openly gawked at Changmin, running his gaze from the angry/frightened look on his face, to the broad, bare chest still glistening from his shower, and then down to the gun in his hand. The veins in Changmin’s forearms stood out in bold relief, testament to the tension running through his body.
“Ch-changmin-ah…” He licked his pink, pink lips.
“Get. In. Side.”
Jaejoong hurriedly scurried back across the balcony towards Changmin.
“If you pull my towel off on your way past me, I’m going to shoot you in the face.”
Jaejoong quickly drew his hand back and tucked it into his pocket. Then he hopped into the apartment without a word.
Changmin was livid when he came back in. He was so mad, in fact, that he couldn’t even speak. He checked the safety on his gun and placed it back in its hiding place. He gave Mangdoong a tight hug and then deposited her in Jaejoong’s arms. Then he stalked into his bedroom and slammed the door shut as hard as he could, all without saying a word.
Jaejoong held MangDoong and the two of them stared down the hall into which Changmin had disappeared.
Not even a minute later, Changmin came storming back out. He had put on a shirt, but his lower half was still wrapped in a towel.
“Are you stupid? People are trying to kill you! I bring you into my own home to keep you safe and you’re out on the balcony like a flashing lighthouse. Your hair might be back to black, but do you realize how recognizable your face is? Your shoulder line? Your posture? Don’t you know that your fangirls have been able to successfully identify you from over two blocks away just from observing you walk or even just seeing you lean against a fence?”
Jaejoong pouted a little bit and drew Mangdoong closer to his face.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a small voice, eyes wide and a little frightened.
“What were you thinking, Jaejoong? Seriously. What if you’ve given our location away?”
“I’m sure no one saw… The sun was setting behind me and I didn’t turn on any lights. I was careful not to face any of the other buildings straight on.”
Changmin sighed and ran his hands roughly through his hair.
“I… I just got so tired of being cooped up. And I really needed a smoke.”
Changmin’s head shot up.
“You put both our lives on the line because you needed a SMOKE.”
Jaejoong buried his face against Mangdoong.
“Don’t yell at me. Smoking is an addiction,” he whined.
Changmin said nothing.
“I used to smoke at least three times a day. It’s been four days since my last cigarette. I was getting desperate and-”
“No more.”
Jaejoong looked at Changmin.
“No. Don’t give me that cutie face. It doesn’t work on me. You are not allowed outside while under my protection and you are not allowed to smoke inside my house. Those are the rules and you are going to live by them.”
Jaejoong blinked.
And then he smirked.
And then he giggled, though he did try to hide his laughter behind Mangdoong.
“Are you fucking serious,” said Changmin.
“I’m sorry, but you’re not wearing any pants and it’s not very authoritative…” Jaejoong couldn’t stop laughing now.
Changmin paused for a second. Then he pulled off the towel, stalked up to Jaejoong, and wrapped it tightly around his face.
“Laugh that off, pretty boy.”
After Changmin got dressed, and Jaejoong made them tea and a pre-dinner snack of peanut butter sandwiches, the two men sat down and apologized formally for the melodrama. Jaejoong apologized for being irresponsible. Changmin apologized for overreacting. Mangdoong chose to sit on Jaejoong’s lap. They sat and drank their tea in a companionable silence for a couple of minutes.
“God, I could seriously use a smoke.”
Changmin wadded up his dirty napkin and threw it at Jaejoong’s head.
“Mm, the scent of Shim Changmin,” cooed Jaejoong, making a moony expression at Changmin.
“No smoking. It’s bad for your voice anyway.”
“Just admit you’re one of my fanboys.”
“I don’t fanboy men.”
“Then how come you know so much about my hairstyles and my stalkerazzi?” Jaejoong arched an eyebrow at him.
“I read.”
“About me.”
“Seriously. You need to stop.” Changmin put his mug down, hard.
Jaejoong took a deep breath and sat back, stretching his arms above his head.
“I’m really sorry. Honestly. I just… I get weird when I’m craving a cigarette. I’ve always been like this.”
“Well, but you’re an idol. It can’t always be convenient for you to sneak out and have a smoke. How do you usually deal with the withdrawal?”
There was an awkward expression on Jaejoong’s face.
“What, now you’re keeping secrets from me? You sneak into my bed at night. You’re trying to steal my dog’s love from me. You’ve seen me naked now. And, oh yeah, you almost got me killed.”
“Let’s just say I try to distract myself from the cravings.”
Changmin stared at him.
“With?”
There was another pause and another awkward look from Jaejoong.
Then he surged forward and planted a hard kiss on Changmin’s lips.
Changmin promptly slugged him in the shoulder.
Jaejoong was trying to hide his smile.
“What the hell, man?” Changmin didn’t know where to look or what to do with his hands.
“I notice that you didn’t hit me that hard…” said Jaejoong.
“Shut up! What the hell?”
Jaejoong shrugged. “You asked me how I distracted myself from the nicotine cravings. Now you know.”
The two men stared at each other.
“No smoking.”
“As long as I get to kiss you every time the craving gets me panicky.”
“As long as I get to hit you after every kiss.”
“Only if it’s a kiss on the lips.”
Changmin paused.
Jaejoong let out a victorious cry, and then he planted a wet sloppy kiss on Changmin’s cheek.
Changmin hit him again.
===
Regardless of how many times Changmin booted Jaejoong from his bed at night, every morning Changmin would wake up to find Jaejoong curled up against him sleeping happily.
First the guest bed wasn’t good for Jaejoong’s back. Then the guest room was too warm or too cold. The floor was too hard. The couch was made of leather and therefore too sticky… and it squeaked. Jaejoong was lonely, he had a nightmare, or he was worried about his cousin.
Today’s excuse was:
“I want to sleep with Mangdoongie, but she always escapes from my room and comes in here!” Jaejoong clutched the small dog to his chest.
Mangdoong flailed a bit.
“You… wanted to sleep with my *dog*.” Changmin’s leg was already poised to kick Jaejoong off the bed.
“She’s so cute and cuddly!” He rubbed her ears and she nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck. “And my feet get cold without her lying on them.”
Changmin snatched Mangdoong out of Jaejoong’s arms and kicked him off the bed with both legs.
“My dog is not your personal foot warmer, you spoiled brat.”
Mangdoong kicked Changmin in the face as she scrambled to get back to cuddling with Jaejoong.
“I hate you both,” muttered Changmin.
Jaejoong’s laughter floated up from the floor… where he laid playing ‘airplane’ with Mangdoong.
“It’s been a couple of days; you should call in this afternoon. And tell someone to get us more hot sauce and kimchi. There’s this magical vacuum around here that sucks that stuff down like there’s no tomorrow.”
“It’s conceited to talk about yourself all the time,” Jaejoong sang, still from the floor.
Changmin didn’t bother answering. He had no idea why Mangdoong liked Jaejoong at all. His dog had no taste.
“You know, you’re not as charming as you think you are, either!” Jaejoong called out, even though Changmin hadn’t voiced his thoughts out loud.
“You’re a useless lumpy lump on an extra lumpy log!” he called back.
Jaejoong put Mangdoong down and came around the bed to throw an arm around Changmin’s shoulders.
“I know all this waiting is really frustrating for you, trapped in this apartment with me. I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass when I’m bored.”
Changmin stared at Jaejoong.
“Did you break into my vodka last night? You still smell like alcohol.”
Jaejoong smiled a lazy smile and nuzzled against Changmin’s shoulder.
“I think I’ll check in with Yunho’s sister today. I’ll ask her to bring stuff to make my special extra spicy seafood stew, okay? I know you like that one.”
Changmin tried very hard to stay annoyed.
“That’s *your* favourite hangover food. I’ve read your profile online.”
Jaejoong buried his laugh against Changmin’s neck.
“I’ll make kimchi fried rice too.”
Changmin had to turn away to hide his smile.
===
By the eleventh night, Changmin had given up the good fight on getting Jaejoong to sleep in the guest room or anywhere else other than Changmin’s bed. They’d gotten into several arguments, and more than one physical altercation, over it and the result was: Jaejoong was way more persistent than he looked. He also had more patience than it initially appeared. And he was surprisingly strong to boot. In his own home, Changmin had been watched, stalked, beaten, teased, forcibly kissed, sort of sexually harassed, and physically thrown over Jaejoong’s shoulder to be bodily moved from one room to another.
Changmin had no more arguments to make.
He climbed into bed, made sure Jaejoong was tucked in securely with Mangdoong, and then turned off his table lamp.
“Goodnight, Jaejoong.”
“Goodnight, Changmin-ah.”
Mangdoong snuffled.
“My dog used to sleep against *me*,” Changmin couldn’t help but mutter.
Jaejoong giggled softly and shuffled closer to Changmin.
“Pre-bed cigarette,” he announced, pressing a chaste kiss to Changmin’s lips.
Changmin slapped Jaejoong’s hip half heartedly.
There was a light scuffle, as usual, but after the dust settled Jaejoong squirmed around until he had aligned himself against Changmin so that they were touching from shoulder to ankle… also as usual.
And then they were quickly asleep.
It was still quite dark when Changmin next opened his eyes. He wondered what had disturbed his sleep seeing as it couldn’t be Jaejoong trying to sneak into his bed again.
“Oppa…”
Changmin jerked upright, and his girlfriend let out a little shriek as she just narrowly avoided being viciously headbutted.
“Eunjung!” He whispered happily. “You’re home!”
She backed away from his outstretched arms.
“Oppa… who’s that in bed with you?”
“What?” He turned. “Oh.”
In the pre-dawn gloom, he could see Eunjung’s eyes shimmer as tears started to well.
“Nonono,” he was quick to say. “It’s another guy. Don’t worry. It’s work-”
She was shaking her head slowly, backing away another half step.
Changmin hopped out of bed and had his girlfriend in his arms in two steps. He held her tight as she struggled weakly against him.
“I’ve been assigned a protective custody case, honey, I swear.” He kept his voice low but intense. “Some shit went down and I had to hide him somewhere no one would think to look. You were away… the house was empty and brand new…”
“Is he in a lot of trouble? You can’t even let him sleep in a separate room?” Eunjung’s eyes were wide with curiosity and instant worry for Changmin’s charge.
“Uh…” Changmin didn’t quite know what to say to that. “Well… It’s not that I can’t… uh…”
Eunjung looked contrite.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t call ahead!” she whispered. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything! Will you need to report this to your boss?”
Changmin smiled and hugged her tightly. She was such a selfless person that he felt bad about the Jaejoong situation. He hated that he felt guilty because it wasn’t like he was cheating on her and it wasn’t like he was lying… exactly. But there was no way he could tell Eunjung that Jaejoong kept sneaking into his bed. It just didn’t sound right. It wouldn’t *ever* sound right, really.
“I’ll, um, explain more outside. But I’m sorry, I can’t let you stay here until my case is done. It’s too dangerous. Can you take a cab to your parents’ by yourself?”
“Of course!” Eunjung took Changmin’s hand and let him pull her gently out into the hall. “Wait, let me take Mangdoongie to get her out of your hair. Where is she? She’s usually on your side of the bed.”
Before Changmin could stop her, Eunjung pulled away and ran up to the bed to search for their dog.
“Oh my god, is that Kim Jaejoong?”
“Yes. Come on.” Changmin caught up to her and tugged at Eunjung’s shoulder. Jaejoong was unpredictable and Changmin really didn’t want to find out what kind of nonsense he’d come out with if he woke up now to Eunjung in his face. “Leave Mangdoongie. She and Jaejoong get along great and she keeps him busy during the day.”
But Eunjung had gone completely rigid.
“Kim Jaejoong is gay, right? Everyone knows that.”
“Well, it’s not that he’s… I mean, we didn’t really talk about it, and-”
“You let a gay man share a bed with you?” Eunjung’s voice was getting louder.
“Well even if *he’s* gay, *I’m* obviously not so what does it matter?”
Eunjung whirled around to look Changmin straight in the eye.
“It matters that I come home to find my boyfriend in bed with a naked gay man wrapped around him!” she shrieked.
Wracking his sleep-addled memory, Changmin did recall that Jaejoong was cuddler when he slept, and he could still feel a band of warmth around his middle where Jaejoong’s arm had lain before Changmin had gotten up to chase after Eunjung. But as far as he could remember, Jaejoong had gone to bed with clothes on and so was not ‘a *naked* gay man’ though he *had* been wrapped around Changmin.
Alarmed, Changmin ripped the covers off Jaejoong’s sleeping form to discover that Eunjung was partially right. Jaejoong was in nothing but his boxer briefs.
“KIM JAEJOONG. WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?”
Jaejoong tried to bury his head under Mangdoong’s little body.
“Got hot at night. You’re so toasty. Like a breakfast sandwich. But tastier. You taste great,” Jaejoong mumbled, half into Mangdoong’s tummy.
Eunjung looked like she was going to pop a blood vessel.
“Honey, he’s not actually awake. He just babbles in his sleep. I’m serious. You know how I sleep talk? He has like sleep verbal diarrhea. Words just come out of his mouth. He does not know what I taste like.”
“I licked you yesterday,” Jaejoong blurted out, from under Mangdoong. “Your… Gochu… like it. Too thick. Had to lick it.”
“GochuJANG!” Changmin emphasized the last word. “He licked gochujang off of my elbow. The sauce was too thick and sticky and it wouldn’t wipe off. Not that he licked my ‘gochu’ because it was too thick-not that I use ‘gochu’ as a slang for anything-- Okay nothing is coming out right, but it’s not what you’re thinking even though I would not presume to tell you what to think or how to think it because I respect you as an independent human being.” Changmin took a deep breath. “What the hell am I saying?”
Eunjung looked so sad that it was breaking Changmin’s heart.
“I don’t know how to make this okay right now,” he said dejectedly. “It looks bad, I know. Everything I say now will sound indecent, but it’s not how I mean it. I swear. Why don’t we just go call a cab for you now? You can take a couple of days to rest up at your parents’ and... try not to think about this. Hopefully my case will be resolved soon and we can talk.”
Eunjung nodded, but didn’t say anything until she was leaving.
“I don’t know if you noticed this, oppa,” she said quietly, “but you’re not really wearing any clothes either.”
Changmin wanted to explain that he’d gone to sleep shirtless because he’d spilled tea on himself just as he was getting ready for bed and he had been too lazy to dig out a clean top. But nothing came out when he opened his mouth because, truthfully, he’d managed to ‘spill something’ on his sleep shirts every night for the past week or so. And if he thought about it, he could almost feel the soft slide of Jaejoong’s arm across his bare stomach.
Eunjung smiled sadly and gave him a light peck on the cheek before she left.
Two days later Changmin got the all-clear and Jaejoong was allowed to go home.
===
One night, a couple of weeks after surviving the dramatic ordeal of running for his life through the narrow streets of a generic suburban neighbourhood with a tall, handsome NIS agent at his back and then being cloistered with said agent in ultra top secret protective custody, Jaejoong was disturbed from his nightly 1am ramyeon-making in his own kitchen by someone insistently pressing on the doorbell of his apartment like a child.
Jaejoong was surprised to see Changmin waiting for him when he checked the peephole.
“Special Agent Shim Changmin! You missed me!” he bellowed as he flung open the door, heedless of the hour.
Changmin rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, right I missed you, you brat.”
Jaejoong cocked his head slightly as he took notice of the giant suitcase sitting on his ‘Welcome’ mat.
“My girlfriend broke up with me. She said it was because my job was too dangerous and she really didn’t appreciate me bringing someone who was being hunted by professional hitmen into our home. But I’m pretty sure a large part of the reason was her finding you mostly naked in my bed.”
“In bed with *you*, you mean. I was mostly naked in bed with *you*.” Jaejoong smirked.
“This isn’t funny! You’re not even sorry!” Changmin cried. “And she took my dog!”
Jaejoong gasped.
“Not Mangdoongie! I love her!”
“Hey! We’re talking about *me* here!”
Jaejoong gazed earnestly at Changmin and said with crushing sincerity: “I love you too!”
“Wait...” Changmin was taken aback. “That’s not what I was going for...”
“Sure it wasn’t.”
Changmin stared at Jaejoong for a full minute. Then he blinked.
“I don’t love men,” said Changmin.
Jaejoong blinked back.
“But *I* love *you*,” responded Jaejoong, his expression open and sincere.
They stood at an impasse. Neither seemed willing to concede. Changmin was an immovable rock in arguments like this. Jaejoong knew that very well, but it didn’t stop him from trying to goad a reaction out of him.
“Plus you need a place to stay, apparently. So you should probably say something about loving me or I won’t offer to let you be my roomie.”
“I only need to stay somewhere for a week while Eunjung moves out of the apartment. I could go to a hotel, but I figured you owed me for the two weeks I had to put you up.”
Jaejoong barred the doorway with his body.
“You have to say you love me too.” He was firm. “It’s like the secret password to get into my home.”
“I’ve got a better password for you,” said Changmin.
He then proceeded to throw Jaejoong over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and walk straight into the apartment. Jaejoong was laughing so hard that Changmin nearly dropped him. But they made it to the kitchen where Changmin set him back onto his own two feet.
“I want spicy seafood stew. And kimchi fried rice!” he demanded.
Jaejoong reached up the ruffle Changmin’s hair as he agreed to make the requested dinner the next day.
For now, he bustled about getting two small bowls so that Changmin could share his late-night ramyeon snack. Changmin fiddled with the packet of shredded seaweed that came with the instant noodles.
“Are you okay, like, feelings-wise?” Jaejoong asked carefully, making weird hand gestures in the general vicinity of his heart.
Changmin shrugged one shoulder and didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. Jaejoong figured he wasn’t going to give much more of an answer, and so he began divvying up the noodles between the bowls. There was still no comment by the time he set Changmin’s bowl in front of him.
“Hey, do you have a dog too?” Changmin asked suddenly, too loudly, pointing at the little set of ceramic dishes on the kitchen floor.
Jaejoong was so startled that he almost lost his noodles to the floor.
“Oh...” Jaejoong looked around for a second before pouncing on a little grey ball of fur that was trying to sneak away before Jaejoong saw it. “Ah! Gotcha! I have a cat!” He held it out to Changmin. “This is Jiji, now the second love of my life after you.”
Jiji bit Jaejoong’s hand. Pretty hard.
Changmin held out his arms and took the squirming cat from Jaejoong.
“Ah, looks like Jiji and I are going to get along great.”
Jaejoong looked like he couldn’t decide whether to pout pitifully or just laugh.
So Changmin leaned over and gently, hesitantly, kissed Jaeoong on the lips.
“It might not be what you want to hear right after your highly awkward declaration of love in your foyer but I think I might probably like you… quite a bit more than normal. So... don’t let it go to your head... but you know...”
Jaejoong seized Changmin’s face with both hands and kissed him with force.
Jiji bit both of them.
--end--