Final Eclipse/Serpentine, Deleted Scenes
Series:YuGiOh
Title: Final Eclipse/Serpentine: Deleted Scenes
Author: Fictatious
Character(s): Bakura Ryou, Yami-Bakura, Yuugi Mutou, Atemu, Mazaki Anzu, Jonouchi Katsuya, Honda Hiroto, Malik Ishtar
Rating: M
Warnings: Sexual violence.
Summary: Those deleted-scenes I promised.
Previous:
Delusions
Bad Religion
Interlude 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Final Eclipse 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
So, I actually got almost no questions for this series that weren’t answered in latter chapters than the one they were originally posted on. So I guess we’re not going to have question-answer time so much as a run-down of deleted scenes and un-pursued ideas. First you get answers to the two kind-of questions I have gotten:
What happened to Hirutani after he had the misfortune of meeting Mot? Well, when Ryou and Bakhura get home, and after they’ve rested a bit from the flight, they’re going to notice some little flecks and smears of blood here and there in the living room. Bakhura ends up getting the carpet quietly replaced and they don’t tell anybody about it. Now here’s how I see a sort of explanation-scene unfolding:
About three months after the end of the series, Malik is now living with them and I picture him on the sidewalk downtown, eating a crepe (Asian style, where it’s like a soft ice cream cone.) He starts getting some cat-calls and harassment from some obnoxious teenagers nearby because, come on, he’s such a queen. Ryou/Bakhura catches up to him (it takes a few minutes to make a crepe-cone and Malik got his first) and it turns out that the hecklers are Hirutani’s gang. Before Bakhura or Ryou even get so far as opening their mouth, Hirutani blanches and then beats pavement out of there.
What happened to Mot and Sek? - They joined up with Apep (remember that scene in the fifth season where Yami-Bakura kind of jumps down into the game-table and merges into Zork? That.) and were killed along with him. Sorry. They’re gone.
Deleted Scenes:
So I mentioned, back in the AN for chapter 6, that everything had ended up going in a totally different direction than I’d originally intended. What prompted the change in large part seemed to be shifting the perspective, as originally the scene was written from Malik’s POV and when I rewrote it from Bakhura/Ryou’s it kind of took off on its own and I lost control of it.
The biggest change, -before Malik went and threw a wrench into the plot by blurting out that Atemu was killing Yuugi- was that originally I had Ryou being the one who ranted, and it was just angry and hurt ranting, then after the switch it ended up being Bakhura doing a lot of the ranting and it turned into more unhinged vitriol.
I’ve started the deleted-scene here from the moment the two story-paths diverged.
...
“I see,” Yuugi looked back up with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. “... Do you think maybe we could start over fresh?” he asked, fidgeting.
“No,” Ryou replied in a hard voice and Yuugi winced.
“Wh-why the hell not?” Jonouchi cut in, obviously frustrated and offended by Ryou’s flat out refusal.
Ryou looked up to Jonouchi, his expression still nearly blank. “It might have been possible up to and even during Battle City, but I can’t erase what happened to us in the last three months because of what the Pharaoh did to me, and you can’t either.” He looked away then, not meeting any of their eyes when he added, “And trying to pretend that nothing happened is just going to make us angrier the longer it festers, and I would hate you.”
“But you’re the one- ones- that tried to blow up the world or something!” Jonouchi protested. “What the hell did we do that’s worse than that!”
“Nothing.” The word came out in a low growl and Malik couldn’t identify whose voice it was for a minute, until it raised enough as it continued to pick out Ryou’s tone, but with far more open hostility than Malik had heard in it before. “You did nothing. You sat back and did nothing while, for three months, while I was destroying myself. You watched me like a soap opera.”
There was silence as not even Jonouchi seemed to be able to form a response to that. Ryou’s eyes narrowed into a glare. “You’re all so obsessed with some grade-school fantasy of being perfect, wholesome heroes, you couldn’t possibly acknowledge any moral gray-area even existing, much less question the Pharaoh’s ethics, because you’d already picked him out as the lead singer for your little rock band.” Ryou’s voice was shifting and blending with Bakhura’s now, wavering back and forth between the two.
“Even without admitting that maybe the Pharaoh wasn’t an infallible pillar of moral virtue, you still could have just been there. I didn’t have anyone else,” Ryou said, his voice dropping down to something just above a whisper. “You took away the only person I had in Domino and then you disappeared and left me completely alone.” He paused for a moment, pursing his lips and then went on. “You know, I started playing a game with myself. I’d make lists of all the different ways I could think to kill myself, and then I’d rank them. What would be the most sensational? The fastest? The most painless? The most ironic?”
...
This was where I’d originally got lost and couldn’t figure out how to finish the scene. However, while I was stuck, I still decided to move on and write the next scene and wait for inspiration to strike on the previous one. So, because of Malik’s destruction of my carefully planned plotline, the following scene ended up not fitting into the story’s new direction, but it still amused me and I thought I’d share it.
...
“What are we doing here?” Jonouchi growled, scuffing his toe against the floor. “We’re supposed to look at mummies and pretend Bakura didn’t just have a nuclear meltdown? He’s complaining about us leaving him behind, and what the hell are we doing right now?”
“I think he made it clear he doesn’t want to talk about it now, and honestly, I couldn’t just hang out with him after that.” Honda shrugged, looking at a tarnished bronze hand-mirror.
“Fuck hanging out! We should be doing something!” Jonouchi shoved his hands into his pockets and glared at a cracked perfume bottle.
“Like what, Jonouchi?” Anzu snapped.
“Like- I don’t know! Something!”
“Jonouchi-kun, I don’t think he wants to be around us right now,” Yuugi said quietly, eyes fixed on his Japanese museum-guide.
“He needs to cool off, Jou.” Honda patted Jonouchi’s shoulder. “We can’t know how much of that today was blowing off steam and how much is, y’know, permanent grudge kind of stuff.”
“Besides, if he’s leaving tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll want to spend the day with Malik,” Anzu sniffed, tilting her head to look through the glass shelf at the underside of an Isis statuette.
“Yeah, why is he so buddy-buddy with Malik, anyway?” Jonouchi demanded sulkily. “He barely knows that guy, right? We go to school with him!”
“Oh my god, could you be anymore clueless,” Anzu moaned putting her face in her hands.
“What?”
“Jou, I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think he knows Malik pretty well...” Honda said in a voice that wasn’t so much patronizing as it was weary. “Yeah, maybe they haven’t spent that much time together, but they were working together pretty close at Battle City,” he reminded. “For example, Bakura got the hell beat out of himself just to set us up to trust Malik. That’s not exactly the kind of thing you do for a stranger.”
“Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, I just kind of figured it was the other Bakura that did that...” Jonouchi frowned at the floor tiles and shuffled along.
“But now we know that our Bakura was actually on their side,” Atemu’s voice reminded and Jonouchi jumped a little, not having noticed him change places with Yuugi.
“Let’s not forget they were all being yanked around by those Apep-bastards,” Honda reminded him.
“I haven’t forgotten,” Atemu retorted with a hint of a sulk. “Anyway, Mai said that the other Bakura was intensely protective of our Bakura.”
“Right, so they’d have to be pretty serious about Malik to do something that stupid.” Anzu nodded, crossing her arms.
“Well he was serious about beating Yuug- I mean Atemu- right?” Jonouchi reasoned. “And he didn’t even stick to Malik’s plan anyway so they probably didn’t plan it out all that well.”
“Oh for the love of God, Jonouchi, they were practically sitting in each other’s laps,” Atemu snapped.
“... Huh?” Jonouchi frowned, confused.
“Clueless!” Anzu put her hands over her face again.
...
Rejected Plot-Points:
So most of you have probably seen that I rewrote the first fic for this series a couple months ago. The original Making Choices and Taking Chances (I was never happy with that title) was written before I’d really developed my versions of the characters and before I’d decided on having two snakes, so the snake seen in the first fic and earlier edits of Bad Religion was originally supposed to be a diminished form of Apep. It was only when I started Interlude that I decided to split that character into Sek and Mot. So when rewriting the first fic, I took out the mocking-humor and laughing that I’d originally had the snake doing and changed it to Sek’s severe personality. The other major change was because in the original fic, Bakhura had kind of had this “Waah, I’m a serial-killer with a heart of gold!” wank going on and it was a little too vague and... dumb. Edward lol wut. For those of you who haven’t noticed the change or anything, the new version of that fic is called Delusions.
Bad Religion really never changed much from its original plan. The only thing that got changed in a later edit was again the snake’s voice being changed to fit Sek’s personality (it originally sounded like a combination of Sek and Mot.)
In Interlude, y’know that scene when Yuugi+ come back from their season 4 shenanigans and Yuugi’s over at Ryou’s place hanging out and cheering him up? Originally I had them making dorayaki (cookies), because, I don’t know, I was like “What kind of low-key activity do you do to hang out when one of your friends is really tired and jet-lagged?” And, well, I bake, personally. After I posted that chapter originally, it suddenly occurred to me what an incredibly feminine scene that was. Cookie-baking and gossip to cheer up a friend? Holy estrogen, Batman! I ended up deciding that was just a bit too over-the-top and I didn’t want to make Ryou that fem, so on a later edit, I changed the activity to something Mario Cart-ish.
I had lots of fun ideas for Hirutani. The one I liked best was having Hirutani, while rooting through Ryou’s stuff because he’s a greedy, controlling ass-hole, discover a small stash of diamonds Bakhura had hidden in Ryou’s desk at some point. I ended up scrapping this idea just because it would take a long time to fuss around with the fall-out from that and it would detract from the central plot-line.
Mot ended up being a great entertainment to me. I originally created him on a whim, and based him off of the anime version of Yami-Malik, a grinning psychotic who’s mouth is stretched wider than Jack Nickelson’s Joker makeup. A clown of dark (and psychotically violent) humor. His personality continued to develop as I ended up playing him and Sek off each other and turning them into alike-and-opposite types, deciding to give Sek a very ascetic feel and Mot a very tantric one, and in the process turning Mot into as much a masochist as he is a sadist.
Somewhere between Interlude and Final Eclipse, I started plotting out in my head the events that transpired aboard the Battle City blimp, and in particular what the power-shift between Malik and Mot looked like from the inside. The following scene ended up as more of a writing-exercise exploring Mot’s personal beliefs and motivations more than anything else, because I decided that I really didn’t want to horribly traumatize Malik. Bakhura and Ryou are the center-point for this story and while Malik is an important character, he’s still a supporting one; not only would kicking Malik’s personal angst up by making this scene ‘canon’ have detracted from the central plot-line, but it also would have really made Malik unfit to support Bakhura and Ryou. I needed him to be functional, and this scene would have just put way too much on his plate. The following is a scene that never happened after Rishid got lightninged and Malik lost control to Mot on the Battle City blimp.
...
Warning! Rated ‘Mature’ for sexual-violence!
“I would have been more gentle with you, Malik, but you have kept me waiting for far. too. long.” Mot whispered breathily next to Malik’s ear as he punctuated with deep thrusts. Malik screamed at the unbelievable pain; it felt as though barbs were dragging through his flesh every time Mot pulled back and then slammed back into him with bone-breaking force.
Mot moaned wantonly and thrust faster. “That is so beautiful,” he breathed, his hand sliding down around Malik’s groin and crushing him like a vice. “I love your voice, Malik, I love the sound of it. There is nothing more beautiful than hearing you scream,” he whimpered.
Malik sobbed, his entire body weak and trembling and Mot’s arm wrapped tightly around his torso all that was keeping him from crumpling to the floor in a broken pile. “Oh my darling,” Mot panted against his neck, “I’ve wanted you so badly!” Mot’s grip on Malik’s genitals eased and turned to rough, merciless stroking, rubbing across the sensitive skin with far too much friction, making it raw and stinging within seconds.
“I will abandon my pride for you my love,” Mot murmured, scraping his teeth over Malik’s neck. “I will beg my master to let me keep you. You will be spared when this world burns,” he promised. “We will have all eternity together, so that I can show you the heights of agony and ecstasy.”
Malik whimpered through clenched teeth, mucus waving disgustingly as his breath picked it up off the slimy drizzle down his lips. Mot seemed dissatisfied by the muffled sounds of misery and delivered a series of faster, deeper thrusts as he sank his teeth into Malik’s neck and the burning of venom seeped into his veins. Malik’s teeth unclenched and another tortured scream erupted from his throat.
“Oh yes, yes, precious!” Mot sighed as he disengaged his teeth from Malik’s jugular. “Scream for me, my love! Give me all your passion!”
If he kept screaming, maybe Mot would be satisfied and it wouldn’t get worse. How long could he scream for? How long would a metaphysical being’s stamina last? As soon as he’d finished inhaling, Malik broke into another scream. Mot mewled behind him and licked the nape of his neck, continuing to thrust violently into Malik and rub at his penis as though to share some mutual satisfaction. If this weren’t just inside of his mind, Malik thought vaguely through the haze of pain, he’d have been bleeding out.
He kept screaming, his throat quickly becoming ragged and raw, and after a while Mot’s thrusts started to slow. “You’re not faking it for my ego, are you?” he whispered, sounding genuinely hurt, and Malik felt a fresh wave of dread wash over him. “Don’t do that, my love, I need to know you’re sharing this with me,” Mot whined, nuzzling behind Malik’s ear. His body had stilled, the agonizing, shredding thrusts coming to a halt. “Tell me how I can make it better for you, Malik. Tell me what you want, please.”
Malik sobbed, knowing this was a temporary reprieve, knowing that it wouldn’t last, knowing that the pain would be back stronger than ever in a few seconds, but some desperate, impractical hope was suggesting that maybe Mot would stop if he just asked... “S-stop,” Malik choked. “You-you’re hurting m-me...”
He felt Mot’s lips, pressed against his neck, twist into a manic grin, and Malik’s blood ran cold. “Oh yes,” Mot whispered. “Isn’t it beautiful, Malik? Overwhelming your senses, obliterating conscious thought, drowning you in an ocean of pure intensity.” His tongue rolled over the edge of Malik’s ear and lips caught around the lobe and suckled on it for a moment. “Your body is too fragile for this paramount suffering, I worked so hard to be able to share it with you, so you could experience this incredible beauty.”
“N-n-no,” Malik cried, his voice cracking. “I h-hate it!”
Mot whimpered and suddenly thrust into him several times, apparently overcome by lust. A scream caught in Malik’s throat and he gagged and croaked pathetically as Mot forced himself to still again, lavishing attention on the side of Malik’s neck, just below his ear. “Yes, yes, yes,” he whispered breathlessly. “Hate is the strongest form of love, my darling!” He bit again, his teeth sinking deep into Malik’s flesh but staying there only a moment before retracting again to allow for speech. “Give me all your hate, Malik, please, please! I will be yours forever, precious! I will give you all that I have!”
Mot started thrusting again, hard and fast, ripping against his insides like razor blades, and Malik screamed louder than ever. Fingernails had become claws and were tearing down into the skin of Malik’s chest. Fangs had found their way back to his neck, pouring fiery venom through his circulatory system. Then the pain reached a new decibel and it took Malik several moments to realize, and more based upon the sounds he was making than any recognition of the sensations, that Mot was climaxing.
Malik wasn’t even sure whether he’d screamed. Mot was quiet and panting for a while, still inside of him. Malik sobbed brokenly, in pain and an overwhelming, amorphous shame. Mot moved suddenly, dissolving, slipping, curling around him with boneless fluidity, until he was in front of Malik, arms wrapped around him supportively, and his mouth pressed over Malik’s. Malik turned his head and tried to pull away, shrinking from the despicable kiss, and Mot moved to suckle his Adam’s apple.
Mot’s hand moved and started stroking Malik again, not the rough, raw jerks of before but gentle, soft touches, coaxing an erection out of him. “N-no,” Malik whimpered, trying to squirm away. Mot released his neck and dropped down; the heat of his mouth suddenly surrounded Malik’s erection and drew gently back, sucking, teasing the way Ryou had before.
Malik sobbed. Somehow this was worse.
...
Er, yeah, so that’s pretty dark... I can’t remember what mood I was in then. This might have been a ‘write it so I stop dreaming it’ moment or maybe I was just mad with the power of the pen at the time.
So, anyway, that’s all I can think of right now. The past month or two I’ve been working on an AU tendershipping fic, but I do poke around at the Serpentine prequels when I have any inspiration for them. No estimates on when any of them might get finished, but I haven’t forgotten them. So anyway, I can’t think of much more to say here; I promised you deleted scenes and here they are, but now I’m all written out for the day. <3 to all my reviewers, you’re all lovely.
~ Fictatious
Title: Final Eclipse/Serpentine: Deleted Scenes
Author: Fictatious
Character(s): Bakura Ryou, Yami-Bakura, Yuugi Mutou, Atemu, Mazaki Anzu, Jonouchi Katsuya, Honda Hiroto, Malik Ishtar
Rating: M
Warnings: Sexual violence.
Summary: Those deleted-scenes I promised.
Previous:
Delusions
Bad Religion
Interlude 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Final Eclipse 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
So, I actually got almost no questions for this series that weren’t answered in latter chapters than the one they were originally posted on. So I guess we’re not going to have question-answer time so much as a run-down of deleted scenes and un-pursued ideas. First you get answers to the two kind-of questions I have gotten:
What happened to Hirutani after he had the misfortune of meeting Mot? Well, when Ryou and Bakhura get home, and after they’ve rested a bit from the flight, they’re going to notice some little flecks and smears of blood here and there in the living room. Bakhura ends up getting the carpet quietly replaced and they don’t tell anybody about it. Now here’s how I see a sort of explanation-scene unfolding:
About three months after the end of the series, Malik is now living with them and I picture him on the sidewalk downtown, eating a crepe (Asian style, where it’s like a soft ice cream cone.) He starts getting some cat-calls and harassment from some obnoxious teenagers nearby because, come on, he’s such a queen. Ryou/Bakhura catches up to him (it takes a few minutes to make a crepe-cone and Malik got his first) and it turns out that the hecklers are Hirutani’s gang. Before Bakhura or Ryou even get so far as opening their mouth, Hirutani blanches and then beats pavement out of there.
What happened to Mot and Sek? - They joined up with Apep (remember that scene in the fifth season where Yami-Bakura kind of jumps down into the game-table and merges into Zork? That.) and were killed along with him. Sorry. They’re gone.
Deleted Scenes:
So I mentioned, back in the AN for chapter 6, that everything had ended up going in a totally different direction than I’d originally intended. What prompted the change in large part seemed to be shifting the perspective, as originally the scene was written from Malik’s POV and when I rewrote it from Bakhura/Ryou’s it kind of took off on its own and I lost control of it.
The biggest change, -before Malik went and threw a wrench into the plot by blurting out that Atemu was killing Yuugi- was that originally I had Ryou being the one who ranted, and it was just angry and hurt ranting, then after the switch it ended up being Bakhura doing a lot of the ranting and it turned into more unhinged vitriol.
I’ve started the deleted-scene here from the moment the two story-paths diverged.
...
“I see,” Yuugi looked back up with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. “... Do you think maybe we could start over fresh?” he asked, fidgeting.
“No,” Ryou replied in a hard voice and Yuugi winced.
“Wh-why the hell not?” Jonouchi cut in, obviously frustrated and offended by Ryou’s flat out refusal.
Ryou looked up to Jonouchi, his expression still nearly blank. “It might have been possible up to and even during Battle City, but I can’t erase what happened to us in the last three months because of what the Pharaoh did to me, and you can’t either.” He looked away then, not meeting any of their eyes when he added, “And trying to pretend that nothing happened is just going to make us angrier the longer it festers, and I would hate you.”
“But you’re the one- ones- that tried to blow up the world or something!” Jonouchi protested. “What the hell did we do that’s worse than that!”
“Nothing.” The word came out in a low growl and Malik couldn’t identify whose voice it was for a minute, until it raised enough as it continued to pick out Ryou’s tone, but with far more open hostility than Malik had heard in it before. “You did nothing. You sat back and did nothing while, for three months, while I was destroying myself. You watched me like a soap opera.”
There was silence as not even Jonouchi seemed to be able to form a response to that. Ryou’s eyes narrowed into a glare. “You’re all so obsessed with some grade-school fantasy of being perfect, wholesome heroes, you couldn’t possibly acknowledge any moral gray-area even existing, much less question the Pharaoh’s ethics, because you’d already picked him out as the lead singer for your little rock band.” Ryou’s voice was shifting and blending with Bakhura’s now, wavering back and forth between the two.
“Even without admitting that maybe the Pharaoh wasn’t an infallible pillar of moral virtue, you still could have just been there. I didn’t have anyone else,” Ryou said, his voice dropping down to something just above a whisper. “You took away the only person I had in Domino and then you disappeared and left me completely alone.” He paused for a moment, pursing his lips and then went on. “You know, I started playing a game with myself. I’d make lists of all the different ways I could think to kill myself, and then I’d rank them. What would be the most sensational? The fastest? The most painless? The most ironic?”
...
This was where I’d originally got lost and couldn’t figure out how to finish the scene. However, while I was stuck, I still decided to move on and write the next scene and wait for inspiration to strike on the previous one. So, because of Malik’s destruction of my carefully planned plotline, the following scene ended up not fitting into the story’s new direction, but it still amused me and I thought I’d share it.
...
“What are we doing here?” Jonouchi growled, scuffing his toe against the floor. “We’re supposed to look at mummies and pretend Bakura didn’t just have a nuclear meltdown? He’s complaining about us leaving him behind, and what the hell are we doing right now?”
“I think he made it clear he doesn’t want to talk about it now, and honestly, I couldn’t just hang out with him after that.” Honda shrugged, looking at a tarnished bronze hand-mirror.
“Fuck hanging out! We should be doing something!” Jonouchi shoved his hands into his pockets and glared at a cracked perfume bottle.
“Like what, Jonouchi?” Anzu snapped.
“Like- I don’t know! Something!”
“Jonouchi-kun, I don’t think he wants to be around us right now,” Yuugi said quietly, eyes fixed on his Japanese museum-guide.
“He needs to cool off, Jou.” Honda patted Jonouchi’s shoulder. “We can’t know how much of that today was blowing off steam and how much is, y’know, permanent grudge kind of stuff.”
“Besides, if he’s leaving tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll want to spend the day with Malik,” Anzu sniffed, tilting her head to look through the glass shelf at the underside of an Isis statuette.
“Yeah, why is he so buddy-buddy with Malik, anyway?” Jonouchi demanded sulkily. “He barely knows that guy, right? We go to school with him!”
“Oh my god, could you be anymore clueless,” Anzu moaned putting her face in her hands.
“What?”
“Jou, I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think he knows Malik pretty well...” Honda said in a voice that wasn’t so much patronizing as it was weary. “Yeah, maybe they haven’t spent that much time together, but they were working together pretty close at Battle City,” he reminded. “For example, Bakura got the hell beat out of himself just to set us up to trust Malik. That’s not exactly the kind of thing you do for a stranger.”
“Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, I just kind of figured it was the other Bakura that did that...” Jonouchi frowned at the floor tiles and shuffled along.
“But now we know that our Bakura was actually on their side,” Atemu’s voice reminded and Jonouchi jumped a little, not having noticed him change places with Yuugi.
“Let’s not forget they were all being yanked around by those Apep-bastards,” Honda reminded him.
“I haven’t forgotten,” Atemu retorted with a hint of a sulk. “Anyway, Mai said that the other Bakura was intensely protective of our Bakura.”
“Right, so they’d have to be pretty serious about Malik to do something that stupid.” Anzu nodded, crossing her arms.
“Well he was serious about beating Yuug- I mean Atemu- right?” Jonouchi reasoned. “And he didn’t even stick to Malik’s plan anyway so they probably didn’t plan it out all that well.”
“Oh for the love of God, Jonouchi, they were practically sitting in each other’s laps,” Atemu snapped.
“... Huh?” Jonouchi frowned, confused.
“Clueless!” Anzu put her hands over her face again.
...
Rejected Plot-Points:
So most of you have probably seen that I rewrote the first fic for this series a couple months ago. The original Making Choices and Taking Chances (I was never happy with that title) was written before I’d really developed my versions of the characters and before I’d decided on having two snakes, so the snake seen in the first fic and earlier edits of Bad Religion was originally supposed to be a diminished form of Apep. It was only when I started Interlude that I decided to split that character into Sek and Mot. So when rewriting the first fic, I took out the mocking-humor and laughing that I’d originally had the snake doing and changed it to Sek’s severe personality. The other major change was because in the original fic, Bakhura had kind of had this “Waah, I’m a serial-killer with a heart of gold!” wank going on and it was a little too vague and... dumb. Edward lol wut. For those of you who haven’t noticed the change or anything, the new version of that fic is called Delusions.
Bad Religion really never changed much from its original plan. The only thing that got changed in a later edit was again the snake’s voice being changed to fit Sek’s personality (it originally sounded like a combination of Sek and Mot.)
In Interlude, y’know that scene when Yuugi+ come back from their season 4 shenanigans and Yuugi’s over at Ryou’s place hanging out and cheering him up? Originally I had them making dorayaki (cookies), because, I don’t know, I was like “What kind of low-key activity do you do to hang out when one of your friends is really tired and jet-lagged?” And, well, I bake, personally. After I posted that chapter originally, it suddenly occurred to me what an incredibly feminine scene that was. Cookie-baking and gossip to cheer up a friend? Holy estrogen, Batman! I ended up deciding that was just a bit too over-the-top and I didn’t want to make Ryou that fem, so on a later edit, I changed the activity to something Mario Cart-ish.
I had lots of fun ideas for Hirutani. The one I liked best was having Hirutani, while rooting through Ryou’s stuff because he’s a greedy, controlling ass-hole, discover a small stash of diamonds Bakhura had hidden in Ryou’s desk at some point. I ended up scrapping this idea just because it would take a long time to fuss around with the fall-out from that and it would detract from the central plot-line.
Mot ended up being a great entertainment to me. I originally created him on a whim, and based him off of the anime version of Yami-Malik, a grinning psychotic who’s mouth is stretched wider than Jack Nickelson’s Joker makeup. A clown of dark (and psychotically violent) humor. His personality continued to develop as I ended up playing him and Sek off each other and turning them into alike-and-opposite types, deciding to give Sek a very ascetic feel and Mot a very tantric one, and in the process turning Mot into as much a masochist as he is a sadist.
Somewhere between Interlude and Final Eclipse, I started plotting out in my head the events that transpired aboard the Battle City blimp, and in particular what the power-shift between Malik and Mot looked like from the inside. The following scene ended up as more of a writing-exercise exploring Mot’s personal beliefs and motivations more than anything else, because I decided that I really didn’t want to horribly traumatize Malik. Bakhura and Ryou are the center-point for this story and while Malik is an important character, he’s still a supporting one; not only would kicking Malik’s personal angst up by making this scene ‘canon’ have detracted from the central plot-line, but it also would have really made Malik unfit to support Bakhura and Ryou. I needed him to be functional, and this scene would have just put way too much on his plate. The following is a scene that never happened after Rishid got lightninged and Malik lost control to Mot on the Battle City blimp.
...
Warning! Rated ‘Mature’ for sexual-violence!
“I would have been more gentle with you, Malik, but you have kept me waiting for far. too. long.” Mot whispered breathily next to Malik’s ear as he punctuated with deep thrusts. Malik screamed at the unbelievable pain; it felt as though barbs were dragging through his flesh every time Mot pulled back and then slammed back into him with bone-breaking force.
Mot moaned wantonly and thrust faster. “That is so beautiful,” he breathed, his hand sliding down around Malik’s groin and crushing him like a vice. “I love your voice, Malik, I love the sound of it. There is nothing more beautiful than hearing you scream,” he whimpered.
Malik sobbed, his entire body weak and trembling and Mot’s arm wrapped tightly around his torso all that was keeping him from crumpling to the floor in a broken pile. “Oh my darling,” Mot panted against his neck, “I’ve wanted you so badly!” Mot’s grip on Malik’s genitals eased and turned to rough, merciless stroking, rubbing across the sensitive skin with far too much friction, making it raw and stinging within seconds.
“I will abandon my pride for you my love,” Mot murmured, scraping his teeth over Malik’s neck. “I will beg my master to let me keep you. You will be spared when this world burns,” he promised. “We will have all eternity together, so that I can show you the heights of agony and ecstasy.”
Malik whimpered through clenched teeth, mucus waving disgustingly as his breath picked it up off the slimy drizzle down his lips. Mot seemed dissatisfied by the muffled sounds of misery and delivered a series of faster, deeper thrusts as he sank his teeth into Malik’s neck and the burning of venom seeped into his veins. Malik’s teeth unclenched and another tortured scream erupted from his throat.
“Oh yes, yes, precious!” Mot sighed as he disengaged his teeth from Malik’s jugular. “Scream for me, my love! Give me all your passion!”
If he kept screaming, maybe Mot would be satisfied and it wouldn’t get worse. How long could he scream for? How long would a metaphysical being’s stamina last? As soon as he’d finished inhaling, Malik broke into another scream. Mot mewled behind him and licked the nape of his neck, continuing to thrust violently into Malik and rub at his penis as though to share some mutual satisfaction. If this weren’t just inside of his mind, Malik thought vaguely through the haze of pain, he’d have been bleeding out.
He kept screaming, his throat quickly becoming ragged and raw, and after a while Mot’s thrusts started to slow. “You’re not faking it for my ego, are you?” he whispered, sounding genuinely hurt, and Malik felt a fresh wave of dread wash over him. “Don’t do that, my love, I need to know you’re sharing this with me,” Mot whined, nuzzling behind Malik’s ear. His body had stilled, the agonizing, shredding thrusts coming to a halt. “Tell me how I can make it better for you, Malik. Tell me what you want, please.”
Malik sobbed, knowing this was a temporary reprieve, knowing that it wouldn’t last, knowing that the pain would be back stronger than ever in a few seconds, but some desperate, impractical hope was suggesting that maybe Mot would stop if he just asked... “S-stop,” Malik choked. “You-you’re hurting m-me...”
He felt Mot’s lips, pressed against his neck, twist into a manic grin, and Malik’s blood ran cold. “Oh yes,” Mot whispered. “Isn’t it beautiful, Malik? Overwhelming your senses, obliterating conscious thought, drowning you in an ocean of pure intensity.” His tongue rolled over the edge of Malik’s ear and lips caught around the lobe and suckled on it for a moment. “Your body is too fragile for this paramount suffering, I worked so hard to be able to share it with you, so you could experience this incredible beauty.”
“N-n-no,” Malik cried, his voice cracking. “I h-hate it!”
Mot whimpered and suddenly thrust into him several times, apparently overcome by lust. A scream caught in Malik’s throat and he gagged and croaked pathetically as Mot forced himself to still again, lavishing attention on the side of Malik’s neck, just below his ear. “Yes, yes, yes,” he whispered breathlessly. “Hate is the strongest form of love, my darling!” He bit again, his teeth sinking deep into Malik’s flesh but staying there only a moment before retracting again to allow for speech. “Give me all your hate, Malik, please, please! I will be yours forever, precious! I will give you all that I have!”
Mot started thrusting again, hard and fast, ripping against his insides like razor blades, and Malik screamed louder than ever. Fingernails had become claws and were tearing down into the skin of Malik’s chest. Fangs had found their way back to his neck, pouring fiery venom through his circulatory system. Then the pain reached a new decibel and it took Malik several moments to realize, and more based upon the sounds he was making than any recognition of the sensations, that Mot was climaxing.
Malik wasn’t even sure whether he’d screamed. Mot was quiet and panting for a while, still inside of him. Malik sobbed brokenly, in pain and an overwhelming, amorphous shame. Mot moved suddenly, dissolving, slipping, curling around him with boneless fluidity, until he was in front of Malik, arms wrapped around him supportively, and his mouth pressed over Malik’s. Malik turned his head and tried to pull away, shrinking from the despicable kiss, and Mot moved to suckle his Adam’s apple.
Mot’s hand moved and started stroking Malik again, not the rough, raw jerks of before but gentle, soft touches, coaxing an erection out of him. “N-no,” Malik whimpered, trying to squirm away. Mot released his neck and dropped down; the heat of his mouth suddenly surrounded Malik’s erection and drew gently back, sucking, teasing the way Ryou had before.
Malik sobbed. Somehow this was worse.
...
Er, yeah, so that’s pretty dark... I can’t remember what mood I was in then. This might have been a ‘write it so I stop dreaming it’ moment or maybe I was just mad with the power of the pen at the time.
So, anyway, that’s all I can think of right now. The past month or two I’ve been working on an AU tendershipping fic, but I do poke around at the Serpentine prequels when I have any inspiration for them. No estimates on when any of them might get finished, but I haven’t forgotten them. So anyway, I can’t think of much more to say here; I promised you deleted scenes and here they are, but now I’m all written out for the day. <3 to all my reviewers, you’re all lovely.
~ Fictatious