A List of Available Smiles

[ficster28]

Title: A List of Available Smiles
Pairing: Phan
Rating: PG-13 (although possibly triggery)
Warnings: Depression (NO self-harm, NO suicide, NO eating disorders)
Wordcount: 13,829
Disclaimer: Most emphatically, I do not believe this to be true.
Summary: This is the truth of depression: it doesn't stop you laughing. It just stops you feeling happy. And it

Comments

[lacerationgvty]

Oh God, oh God. I'm so excited to read this because I love your words. And it's going to hit so close to home and I feel like I'll probably end up crying andandand. Okay. You are honestly making me lose coherency before I even read. How the hell do you do that, oh my God

[ficster28]

Okay, I'm just replying to little bits of these. First bit: the game

[sarcasticweathe]

Firstly, hi! Long time no scribble

[ficster28]

I'll reply properly to all of these tomorrow morning (it's midnight here) once everyone's out, but I just wanted to make you laugh a bit by telling you where that title comes from. Basically, during Wimbledon (the tennis competition) this year, Andrew Castle, who is one of the commentators, happened to say of a woman in the stands "blimey, that's an odd expression to have in your list of available smiles." My dad just looked at me and said "That's a good title." So this hugely meaningful title, the best title I have ever come up with, is one that I didn't come up with at all; it came from a dodgy comment about a random woman in the stands at Wimbledon. So there you go. My streak of not being able to think of titles continues.

[sarcasticweathe]

Sorry for the lateness, I've been ill so I haven't been on LJ in a while, but Happy late Birthday!
Haha, oh that's amazing. well you didn't use my amazing spider diagram so that's an improvement (I think..) But now that title holds memories and so much more meaning now :)

[favoriteword]

You're so right about the subtlety of it, the lack of judgment. That's what makes it such a pleasure to read; you as the reader have to do some pondering and reflecting, and that makes the whole experience so much more rewarding.

translation maybe?

[kathleencaitlyn]

Dear ficster28
Yesterday night, I discovered your story right before I wanted to go to bed. But then I started reading out of curiosity, and couldn't stop reading, until I had finished it.
It was so amazingly beautifully written! I totally admire your style of writing and worship the whole of the story.
Of course I don't write this comment with out any ulterior motives... I would love to try and translate your story into German, and upload it to the German "Fanfiktion-Archiv", so that readers who aren't that good in English can have the chance to read and enjoy this story.
Of course I would give you full credit for the story and add a link to the original.
I'd really be glad If you allowed me to do so.
Looking forward to your answer
KathleenCaitlyn

Re: translation maybe?

[ficster28]

Hi KathleenCaitlyn,

Um, yeah, sure! I'm very flattered. Like, really really flattered. That's kind of amazing, that you feel this story is worth translating. I don't speak any German, so I'm trusting you to do it justice! I'm sure you will. :) Send me a link when you're done, and I'll add it into the author's note here.

Thank you for doing this, and good luck with the translation! Viel Glück! (I had to look that up online. I really know no German.)

Yours,
ficster28

Re: translation maybe?

[kathleencaitlyn]

Hey :)
Wow, that was quick... I prepared to wait days for your answer. Thank you for disappointing me! :D

and thank you, thank you, thank you, for letting me do this! I feel honored! And I do hope to do it justice. It really is a great and moving story, and of course it is worth translating :)

Vielen Dank noch einmal, KathleenCaitlyn :D