Pretending
Title: Pretending
Rating: PG
Length: Drabble (298 words)
Pairings: implied Sam/Ruby
Era: Episode 4.16: "On The Head Of A Pin"
Warnings: Spoilers for 4.16
Summary: You tried to pretend that you didn't want it, that you didn't crave it.
Note: Written as a part of the "Summer of Sam Love Celebration 2010" on summer_sam_love; prompt/chosen episode - 'episode 4.16: On The Head Of A Pin'
You tried to pretend that it was horrible.
You tried to pretend that you didn’t want it, that you didn’t crave it; you tried to pretend that the simple act of even doing this with her wasn’t something you longed for each and every time …
You tried to pretend that you were still struggling, that you still told the truth when you claimed you only did this because it was absolutely necessary.
And that, if things weren’t so drastic - if you didn’t need to be so powerful to accomplish the task; if you didn’t need to pick up the slack that your brother now left behind - you’d stop in an instance.
Every time, you tried to pretend that it would be the last time. You wouldn’t go back to her for this reason again; you would try to find some other way - because there had to be one, right? You’d done this job for years before ever doing this, so, surely, you could go back to that.
Couldn’t you?
You tried to pretend …
But every time you tasted the warm, tangy liquid as it fell on your tongue and coated down your throat, every time you felt the beginning stirrings of power start to weave their way through you, you realized that you were just kidding yourself.
Things could never go back to how they were before …
And, if you were truly being honest with yourself, at that moment, there wasn’t a part of you that even wanted them to.
You needed this - you knew it - and there could be no more excuses, no more pretending.
No more denying the truth.
This was how you were always meant to feel.
Because this …
This was who you were.
~*~
Finite!
~Megan
Rating: PG
Length: Drabble (298 words)
Pairings: implied Sam/Ruby
Era: Episode 4.16: "On The Head Of A Pin"
Warnings: Spoilers for 4.16
Summary: You tried to pretend that you didn't want it, that you didn't crave it.
Note: Written as a part of the "Summer of Sam Love Celebration 2010" on summer_sam_love; prompt/chosen episode - 'episode 4.16: On The Head Of A Pin'
You tried to pretend that it was horrible.
You tried to pretend that you didn’t want it, that you didn’t crave it; you tried to pretend that the simple act of even doing this with her wasn’t something you longed for each and every time …
You tried to pretend that you were still struggling, that you still told the truth when you claimed you only did this because it was absolutely necessary.
And that, if things weren’t so drastic - if you didn’t need to be so powerful to accomplish the task; if you didn’t need to pick up the slack that your brother now left behind - you’d stop in an instance.
Every time, you tried to pretend that it would be the last time. You wouldn’t go back to her for this reason again; you would try to find some other way - because there had to be one, right? You’d done this job for years before ever doing this, so, surely, you could go back to that.
Couldn’t you?
You tried to pretend …
But every time you tasted the warm, tangy liquid as it fell on your tongue and coated down your throat, every time you felt the beginning stirrings of power start to weave their way through you, you realized that you were just kidding yourself.
Things could never go back to how they were before …
And, if you were truly being honest with yourself, at that moment, there wasn’t a part of you that even wanted them to.
You needed this - you knew it - and there could be no more excuses, no more pretending.
No more denying the truth.
This was how you were always meant to feel.
Because this …
This was who you were.
~*~
Finite!
~Megan