FIC--Changing Perceptions--Part Five, Christmas (Part Two)

[fics_by_aj]

Simply because this chapter is too long for one post, here is the other part of the chapter...

Part One



Lily's eyes fluttered open, and for a moment, she forgot where she was. Then, with a huge smile, she remembered that she was at James' house and it was Christmas morning, her favourite holiday. At the foot of the bed, she noticed a small wrapped box; she reached for it but waited to open it since James wanted to open presents with her. She turned to the right and looked at the sumptuous room. It was lovely, almost as if it had been decorated especially for her.

The bed she lay on was large with a light purple duvet and eyelet trim. It was a bit girly, but it suited the room, which was painted in a very light violet wash and white trim. A white dresser and wardrobe stood opposite the bed. On her left was a pair of large windows with eyelet curtains and sashes that matched the duvet. A rocking chair was placed in front of the window and a floral print pad was placed on the seat. It was a cheery room and very inviting.

The night that she’d arrived, when James and Wilbie first showed her to the room, she had asked him why it was so feminine.

"When Mum was pregnant with me, she decorated one room for a girl and one for a boy. They didn't know if they'd have any more kids after me, so they just left it," James had explained. "Sirius' room is down the hall across from mine, and Robert and Helen are living on the second floor. Mum and Dad's room…er, Mum's room is downstairs."

He had shown her where the bathroom was, along with the cupboard with clean towels before leading her into his room and it was…very James. A collection of Quidditch posters lined the wall behind his bed, which was the same size as hers but dressed in a plaid duvet. A very large window with a seat was on the opposite wall of the door, making her blush at the memory of some of the things they'd done in window seats. The room also had a desk, two large, overstuffed chairs, and an antique wardrobe. The walls were painted an off-white but were nearly covered with more posters, several of which were of Muggle girls in bikinis and some in even less.

"Oh, er,...sorry about those," he nodded, indicating the posters of scantily clad females.

"Farrah Fawcett. How typical," she said with a smirk.

"Sirius has one, too," he answered while Lily rolled her eyes. "Mum doesn't come up here much anymore."

"So," she began, walking over to him and grabbing his collar, their faces a breath apart, "your bed or mine." The question shocked him and taking advantage of his silence, she pushed him backwards onto the bed and leapt onto him before he could argue.

"Lily…the door's open!"

"You yourself said that she doesn't come up here very often," she pointed out, grinding her hips against his.

He closed his eyes, groaned, and pushed her off him. Looking down at her, he held her gaze.

"I have plans," he told her, emphasising the last word. "Now be nice and go downstairs with me. Mum had Wilbie cook up a big feast." He slid off the bed, causing her to stare at how smoothly he moved, almost like a cat.

A knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts, and she scrambled out of her bed and padded across the thick area rug to the door and answered it. She smiled brightly when she saw James' unruly hair and opened the door wide.

"Happy Christmas, love," he said softly, still wearing his pyjama bottoms and nothing else.

Her eyes roamed over his skin, taking in each part of him. There was more chest hair than she expected but it only made him look sexier, if that was at all possible. The muscles of his stomach were well-defined and she reckoned that he did some work with weights during Quidditch season, as riding a broom didn't necessarily build muscle. His arms, oh his arms, were her favourite part of him. They were lean but muscled, and the veins stood out magnificently. His biceps just begged to be flexed. How could someone look so sexy in the morning?

The bed dipped as he sat down and she felt his breath on her neck. On instinct, her head tilted to the side, giving him more skin to kiss. Her breathing quickened, making her desire begin to build.

"I…I thought we were opening presents?" she reminded him, causing him to groan in frustration and bang his head against the headboard.

"Damn!" He rubbed the spot on his head but smiled cheekily at her, telling her it didn't hurt that bad. "Serves me right for coming in here completely unprepared for how delectable you look." His eyes roamed over her, causing heat to gather between her legs.

Delectable? Her? Lily shook her head. Her hair was a mess, she wore a Petunia-worthy nightdress, and she was sure that her breath was strong enough to clean the bottom of a well-used cauldron.

"You, my love, are insane. And blind," she teased, a finger absently trailing down the soft hair between his nipples and down to his belly button.

"I guess you hadn't noticed that the top three buttons came loose as you slept." His hand slipped inside and cupped her exposed breast, bringing the nipple to a rock-hard peak.

Her initial shock at being exposed was quickly replaced by an overwhelming desire to strip it off and forget about any plans he had for them. She wanted him NOW.

As if he sensed her growing ardour, James removed his hand and slowly buttoned the ones that had come loose.

"You'll have to wait to open that particular present," he purred as he licked the inside of her ear. "But you can open this one."

James sat up and retrieved the small box from where she'd dropped it on the bed.

"Do you have yours?" she asked nervously. She hoped he liked it.

"Right here." He held up the box. "Ladies first."

She smiled briefly and went to work carefully removing the ribbon before gently peeling away the cellotape.

"For Merlin's sake, Lily, it's a present. Rip the damn stuff, " he said with a laugh and reaching for the package which she quickly pulled away from him.

"James, this is our first Christmas together and I want to put the paper in my scrapbook."

"Never would have thought you were the sentimental type. It's mental, but charming." He flashed her a brilliant smile and leaned forward to kiss her on the nose.

Lily turned her attention back to the wrapping paper until she was left with a small black box bearing the mark of a jeweller in Hogsmeade. Nervously, she lifted to top and gasped. Lying inside the black satin-lined box was a bracelet. Gold and crystal beads reflected the early morning light while pieces of mother of pearl added elegance. It was remarkable.

"It's beautiful," she said breathily, looking up at him, tears starting to brim in her eyes. "Put it on me?"

She watched as he took the bracelet from the box and fumbled with the clasp. After a few awkward moments, the jewellery was around her wrist, and the soft brushing of his flesh against hers made her shiver.

"Thank you. I love it."

"And I love you, Lily." James sighed. "I never thought I'd actually say those words to anyone. You're amazing, Evans." He kissed her then with soft, teasing kisses that held the promise of something more.

"Your turn," she reminded him as she pulled away from him.

He smiled brightly at her, reminding him of a little boy, ready to tear into what Father Christmas brought him. Her observation wasn't far off as paper and ribbons went flying onto the floor. The top of the box was tossed onto the bed and then…silence.

Lily bit her bottom lip and looked at him, trying to decipher his reaction. He stared at the bottom of the box, mouth open.

"Do…do you like it?" she asked nervously, pulling at the lace on her nightdress.

"You drew this?" She nodded. "Lily, this is absolutely fantastic. When did you start on this?" He continued to stare at the pencil drawing at the bottom of the box.

"After I saw you transform the first time," she answered. "I couldn't get the image of you out of my head. I just had to sketch it out."

That day in November, James had taken her out to the Forbidden Forest under his Invisibility Cloak to a secluded area that he and the marauders used as a gathering place. Once there, he transformed into his Animagus form and she was rendered breathless. She'd seen deer up close before but never a stag. He was magnificent. Prongs walked toward her and nuzzled her neck, making her put an arm around him. His fur was soft and short. When she reached up to touch his antlers, he bent forward. They weren't as rough as she'd expected, but somewhat smooth, like a tree branch with the bark stripped off and sanded down. It was an experience she'd never forget.

"Thank you. I'm…wow. I didn't know you could do this. You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" His voice was still full of astonishment. James leaned forward and kissed her like he did before, teasing her with little nips of his teeth and soft touches along her neck and up into her hair.

The creaked open and Wilbie popped in her head.

"Master James! This…this is the girl's room! Out! Out! You must get out!" The house-elf ran to the bed and tried to shoo James out, pulling on his arm in an attempt to make him leave. "Wilbie musn't let you be in a girl's room!"

Lily burst out laughing as the little elf struggled to pull the nearly six-foot James off the bed.

"Wilbie-let me GO!" He shook the elf off him and Wilbie grabbed Lily's hairbrush and immediately began whacking herself on the head while Lily watched with wide eyes.

"Wha-what's she doing?"

James hopped off the bed and grabbed the brush, the force of his pull sending Wilbie onto the floor wailing.

"Wilbie, stop it!" James shouted, making her stop as she reached for one of Lily's shoes. "Please, don't punish yourself."

"But…but-" Wilbie began crying.

James looked at Lily, his eyes asking for help.

"Wilbie, Wilbie, look at me." The bulging, watery eyes of the house-elf turned toward Lily. "James wasn't doing anything. We gave each other Christmas presents. That's all."

James nodded enthusiastically. "Why are you so concerned about this anyway?"

"House-elves is required to keep a girl's virtue until she marries, and Miss Lily is not married. That is why Wilbie must keep Master James out of her room!" She resumed pulling on him. "Master Sirius broke the rules and now he has no house-elf. Miss Lily needs Wilbie!"

James finally allowed her to pull him toward the door. "Is that why he stopped bringing girls over here?" he asked as Wilbie closed the door behind them.

After breakfast, Lily, James, and Mrs. Potter gathered in the sitting room. Their Christmas tree was large with several glittery glass balls hanging from the boughs and thousands of multi-coloured fairy lights casting a festive glow about the room.

"James, would you pour me some tea, please?" Mrs. Potter asked, setting herself into her usual armchair.

"Mum, Wilbie hasn't brought the tray in yet. She'll be out in minute," he reminded her, pulling Lily onto the sofa next to him.

The older woman looked around the room and, upon finding the sideboard empty, she huffed and pulled a blanket onto her lap, which made James frown. He walked over to the tree and pulled out a couple of presents before going over to her and sitting at her feet like a child wanting desperately to please his mother.

"Mum, you've got some presents here. This one's from me and Sirius," James said, placing the package in her lap.

"Oh, Jimmy-Jam, you don't have to do that for me," she cooed.

Lily stifled the laugh that was building up as she heard James' nickname. He turned around and mouthed 'Don't you dare laugh.' She made a mental note to tease him about it later.

Mrs. Potter set about unwrapping the present, in the same way Lily did, carefully and slowly. Once the paper was on the floor, she lifted the cover and gasped. A tear escaped her eye.

"James…it's…oh sweetheart." Tears flowed freely as James raised himself up and gathered his mother into his arms. The box slid to the floor, and Lily saw what it was that made the woman cry.

Laying in the box was a small portrait of James' father of him in his younger days. Although he was blonde, he and James looked very much alike from the hazel eyes to the out of control hair. They even had the same smile. Lily had to swallow a sob of her own.

Mother and son separated, and James handed his mother the present from Lily. She watched nervously as the old woman looked up and smiled at her.

"You gave this to me?" she asked and Lily nodded. "What a sweet girl. Who is she, Jimmy-Jam?"

James stared at his mother and then gave Lily a confused look. Turning back to his mother, he said, "Mum, it's Lily, remember? My girlfriend. You invited her for the holidays." His voice was gentle and soothing.

"Oh," she said simply as she nodded. Somehow, Lily knew the woman didn't remember.

Mrs. Potter unwrapped the package and smiled as she uncovered the book that Lily and her mother had searched for and finally found in an antique shop.

"Oh, how lovely. I love gardening. Did Wilbie show you my flower garden?" she asked Lily.

"Er…well, no, Mrs. Potter. It's Christmas," Lily reminded her.

James sat back on his haunches, his face a mixture of sadness and worry. She wanted to reach out to him, comfort him, and kiss his worries away.

"Oh, that's right. Corny loved Christmas," she mused. "He loved spoiling me with baubles and jewellery that he knew I'd never wear. I've a whole cupboard full of necklaces, pins, and broaches. You can have them some day, dear."

It was amazing, the change that suddenly washed over Mrs. Potter's face. It seemed that merely talking about her husband brought her back to the present. Even though she barely knew the woman, Lily felt an extreme sense of loss at knowing that James' mother would never be the same without her husband.

"Thank you, ma'am," Lily responded shakily, not knowing if his mother's statement was really meant for her.

- - - - - -

"James?" Lily asked him later that afternoon as they were talking a walk in the park, enjoying the fluffy snow. He turned to her and grabbed her hands.

"What is it?" He smiled crookedly at her as he tucked her hair behind an ear.

"Is your mum okay?"

His smile faded quickly and she could literally see his usual swagger leave him. Silently, James led her to a bench and sat her down before joining her. He took a deep breath and looked her in the eye.

"No, she's not." His voice wavered. "I talked to Robert and Helen last night after dinner, remember?" She did. "They told me she'd been having these episodes lately, you know, forgetting who was around and stuff like that. She had an appointment with her Healer and they said…they…Lily, she's losing her mind. And she argues…she fights. She was yelling at me last night after you went to bed."

Lily remembered. She'd heard the woman screech at her son, ranting about her schedule at the hospital and then about him trying to correct her. Mrs. Potter didn't settle down until Wilbie stepped in and calmed her mistress down.

"Wilbie sat me down and told me what was going on. Mum has to be fed when she's in those moods. Helen and Wilbie have to get her dressed. Robert has to go with her because he's never sure if Mum'll find her way home. She can't Apparate anymore because she might splinch herself. She gets confused if she's left alone for too long." James brushed the hair away from his eyes, closing them to compose himself. "Robert and Helen are moving out in February, and I'm scared that she'll just waste away all alone, Lil. I can't let that happen."

"But she was…at the station. She seemed so, I don't know….."

"Normal?"

"Yeah."

"Robert said she'd been talking about me coming home all week. That she kept reminding him to take her the station. She was looking forward to me coming home. She wouldn't forget that. I'm the only thing keeping her in the present." His bottom lip quivered and she couldn't help noticing that he was beginning to cry.

"James, whatever you're thinking, you can't quit school to take care of your mother." He opened his mouth to argue with her but she silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Aren't there, I don't know, homes for elderly witches and wizards once they can't live alone? Muggles have nur-retirement homes."

He nodded. "Rob-Robert said there are arrangements made. She and Dad had it set up years ago. But Lily, she would hate it." James turned and wiped his face with the sleeve of his cloak.

"But you have to take care of her, to make the decisions she can't anymore." Despite her best efforts, she found herself beginning to weep along with him.

"I'm only eighteen! How am I supposed to make these decisions?"

"I don't know."

She knew it was a completely useless answer, but that's all she could say. Lily pulled him into her arms and let him cry, mumble, and let out whatever emotions were bottled up inside him. She would never talk about this to anyone else, she had decided; this was something to be kept between the two of them.

When James was able to compose himself, they began to make their way back toward his home. Intermingled with periods of silence were times of animated conversation with topics ranging from Quidditch to pranks to classes to sex. The simple act of holding his hand made Lily feel secure and loved, filled with more happiness than she thought possible.

Without noticing, they'd arrived at James' house. At the front door, a crash sounded from inside and James Apparated away from her. She stood at the door, fiddling with her hands, unsure of what to do. James had told her that he needed to Side-Along them inside the house, and she was effectively locked outside of the house. Sitting on the steps, all she could do was wait.

"…bloody useless thing!"

"Mum! Stop it!"

"Keep your opinions to yourself, you ungrateful brat!"

The shouts continued to permeate their way through the heavy door and Lily could only imagine what was going on inside the house. As her thoughts got the best of her, tears began to flow freely and sobs began to wrack her body. She remembered the way Severus' parents used to fight and how the two friends would run away to the river. Once away from the shouting, Sev would toss rock after rock into the water, swearing creatively and impressively for an adolescent.

But what about when you fought with your own parent? How can you escape that? Fear began creeping up and she began to panic. What if they hurt each other? What if something happened to both of them and she couldn't get in?

An idea struck her. She'd heard of people communicating with a Patronus, sending messages that spoke in the voice of the sender. Thinking of the first time James told her that he loved her, Lily shouted, "Expecto Patronum!"

A cantering unicorn materialised before her and she said, "Go to Sirius Black and Robert Abbott. Tell them to come to the Potters. It's an emergency! GO!"

The unicorn galloped away, splitting into two images before disappearing into the sky.

Before she could blink, Sirius and Robert appeared before her, wearing identical worried looks on their faces. Without waiting for an explanation, Sirius grabbed her and the two of them Disapparated, reappearing in the sitting room, which was now a complete mess.

Lying on the floor in a heap was Wilbie's lifeless body. Mrs. Potter, Lily reckoned, had thrown the house-elf against the wall, causing her death. On the sofa lay Mrs. Potter, breathing heavily with James on the floor, holding her hand, muttering soothing words. Sirius, still holding onto her, squeezed Lily tightly, obviously shaken by the scene in front of him involving his best friend and his surrogate mother.

Robert walked over to James and knelt on the floor next to him.

"James, look at me." James raised his head. "It's time. She can't stay alone anymore."

James merely nodded and watched Robert go to the fireplace and make a Floo call. He looked over at Sirius and Lily. His face was tear-stained and she noticed a welt on his cheek. His mother hit him? That sweet, sweet lady hit her own son? What was going on?

He slowly got up off the floor and shuffled towards them, collapsing onto them as soon as he was near enough. Lily wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheeks, crying along with both young men. Sirius, the ever-jovial bloke, was at a loss and sobbed as well, reminiscent of the scene she'd witnessed in the corridor outside the library when James' father died.

"Lily…I'm sorry…but I think…I think you should go home," James said between sobs, making her heart sink at his words.

"I want to help you. I want to help your mum. Please, let me help," she pleaded.

"Lily, he's right," came Sirius' deep voice. "I know you love him, but I don't think he can do this if you're here. Please."

He was right, she realised. James needed to get his mother settled wherever it was that she and her husband had picked out. She'd wait and give him the space he needed. She hated the thought of him going through this alone, but as she packed her things, Lily knew that James and Sirius were right, even though she didn’t agree with them. She could be stubborn about the situation and go along anyway, but she'd only be in the way.

Once she'd gathered her things and made her way downstairs, three other men in dark cloaks were standing with Robert, James, and Sirius, apparently talking about the plans for Mrs. Potter. James turned, saw her, and smiled weakly.

"Lily, I'm sor-"

"No, there's nothing to apologise for. Really," she whispered, falling into James' warm embrace. "Let me know what's going on."

"Of course. But-my plans for us…I'm sorry."

She couldn't help but giggle. His mother was being taken to some sort of nursing home, and he was apologising for ruining their plans to have sex. Sometimes, she really couldn't understand men.

"Soon." She smiled. "I'll hold you to it." Lily gave James one last, lingering kiss on the lips before stepping away. "I love you, James." She caressed his cheek and moved toward the door, hugging Robert and Sirius before Disapparating to her parents' home.

She looked at the cheery decorations on the house, noting the stark contrast between it and the scene she'd left behind. Taking a deep breath, she decided to hug her parents tightly and tell them how much she loved them.

Life was too short.

Part Six...