Yup... it's another story.
Type: Hawaii 5-0, the 2010 kind
Pairings: Steve/Danno
Warnings: If you know me, you already know. For those who don't - non-con, violence
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort
Chapter: 1
Yes, it's a WIP. I know... you think that means I'll never finish it. You may be right, but I'm going to try as I always do.
Steve McGarrett was not raped.
Steve thought about that for a minute. It had been only days since he'd reluctantly accepted the fact he had been raped by one of the men who had gotten the drop on him and Danny during a moment of intimacy and now he was smacked in the head with the knowledge he never had anything to come to terms with in the first place. He had zoned out at the shock of what Danny was saying. All he could hear was Danny begging for Steve's forgiveness and saying over and over, "It never happened, Steve. He didn't touch you. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
It was certainly a relief in many ways to find out the truth, Steve realized. Enough so, that his attention finally began to focus on his surroundings again and he noticed the victims advocate, Morgan, was talking to him and somehow he'd missed everything she'd said. As the space around him phased out the mental hide-a-way he had just been in, he made eye contact with her.
"Sorry... what?"
"I said I can't believe he said that to you after all this time. Obviously there are some issues he's dealing with regarding you. I'm not sure why anyone would allow you to continue thinking..." She shrugged helplessly, having never had to deal with a situation so bizarre.
"Danny?" Steve looked around the large foyer of the courthouse for his partner, his best friend and the man who had taken the steps to be his full-time lover only for them to be taken off guard by a psycho from Steve's past.
"Yes. Detective Williams... whatever game he's playing, I can still help you with-"
"Danny wouldn't do that." He stood up, not really willing to listen to Morgan talk about Danny like he'd done something wrong. He looked up and down the hallways, certain Danny had to be close. He frowned when he could find no sign of the other man. "Where'd he go?"
"He left, Steve. Bolted out of here... probably in shame."
Steve sighed. "Look, this whole... victim thing never fit me right anyway. I didn't have nightmares. I've never had a flashback. All I've ever felt toward Jason is contempt and the desire to get revenge. Not once have I thought I needed to be protected from anything and I certainly didn't feel the need to heal. At least now I know why. It never happened. That's a good thing, isn't it? And as for Danny keeping it from me... he had to have had a reason."
"What possible reason could that be?"
He finally stopped looking for Danny and looked down at the tiny woman who had become a supporting figure in his life recently. He shook his head. "I don't know..." He looked out toward the crowd of people passing by again. "But I'm going to find out."
He pushed gently past her and headed for the door. There would be no meeting with the special prosecutors today. He was only meeting with them because Morgan encouraged him to consider the addition of the rape and conspiracy to rape charges. He really didn't care what happened to the five men who had held him captive. There were plenty of charges against them without adding rape, and once they were captured on their warrants for those other crimes, he planned to come back and be a good little witness on the kidnapping charges.
Things were going so well until he found out there was a possibility of Danny testifying. Steve had no memory of his rape. Of course now he knew it was because it had never happened, but at the time he was confused at how something so horrific could have gotten past him without even a flash of remembrance.
But Danny had been unwavering in what happened to the two after they woke up in the warehouse. Shock and trauma had been blamed for why Steve never even remembered waking up. Danny told him Jason, the man who used to be Steve's friend before taking money from criminals for side jobs, was shaking him and telling him that he was fucking someone that day and it was going to be him or his partner. Danny said he'd frozen, terrified of the consequences, but that Steve had quickly agreed to be the one to suffer, admitting to Danny that he and Jason had been lovers during their days in the military. Danny explained he had kept silent, still in shock at the suggestion and the revelation, and in shame for not defending Steve harder.
Steve had struggled to remember the tale Danny spun, but wasn't able to grasp even a hint of it. Even physically, there was little evidence. And both men knew it could be explained by what had transpired earlier that day between the two of them. Danny said Steve asked, no begged, for Jason to reconsider, to stop what he was doing, supposedly doing so for Danny's sake because he didn't want his lover to see him that way.
And then Jason, Danny said, had shoved into Steve easily, having prepared the man thoroughly before donning a condom. Steve had clenched his jaw in that McGarrett way and taken the hit for his partner's sake. It was quick, efficient. Jason finished, pulled out and pushed Steve at Danny. At this point, Danny's story was vague. He mentioned something about Steve passing out, but never gave any indication as to why. Danny apparently adjusted Steve's clothing and fell asleep next to him until they were finally found by the officers who had triangulated a cell phone call made by one of the captors.
Steve struggled to figure out what would possess Danny to tell him that story and then turn around today, when he was told he would have to testify on Steve's behalf to make the charge stick, and say it was all a lie. Steve frowned, determined to focus on the problem at hand. He was fine. Danny was fine. For now, he wanted to find Danny and then he could get answers. Then he wanted to finally jump back on the path to being together that he and Danny were on before this whole mess began.
As he stepped outside, he put his sunglasses on, temporarily blinded by the bright Hawaiian sun.
Where are you, Danno?
The car was still there and he figured Danny had either walked somewhere or taken a cab. No matter how upset he was, he would never leave Steve stranded. He sighed and pulled out his phone to call his partner, but it went straight to voice mail.
"Danny, I don't know what happened, but I'm not angry at you. I know you never do anything without your reasons and I just want to know what they are. You've been so... different lately and if it's because of this, whatever this was, we can work through it. We've been through way too much for me to just believe the worst here." Steve closed his eyes, wishing Danny was there so he could shake him into opening up to him, but the empty air on the other end of the phone was his only chance to convince him he was in it for the long haul. He took a deep breath, wishing the first time was in a different place and a different circumstance than this. "I love you, Danny."
He disconnected and headed toward the car, hoping Danny was at his house, the place they'd shared so many good memories before the nightmares took over the past couple of weeks.
The drive came him time to come up with scenarios that would make Danny lie. He thought maybe Jason was threatening to hurt Grace if Danny didn't convince Steve he'd been victimized, but he shook his head at that. Danny knew Steve would die for Grace. There'd be no reason to carry that out because Steve would do what he had to, even take part in the lie.
Maybe Danny was protecting Steve. Perhaps there was a deal reached where Jason said he wouldn't really rape Steve as long as Danny made him think he did. He could see that happening because Danny tended to go solo when it came to keep Steve safe. He did the same thing so he couldn't really blame his partner, but still... he hated thinking Danny was put in that position.
As Steve pulled into his drive, he figured having more people looking for Danny was a plus. He called Chin and had him put him on speaker so Kono could hear. He told them there was an issue with the case and Danny had taken off for some time to think.
"I want you guys to know something. It turns out what we thought went down in that warehouse... with me... never did."
He heard Kono gasp and there was silence as the cousins tried to process it. Kono finally spoke. "But... Danny said..."
"I know." Steve didn't know what else to say. He had no explanation for it. Danny and he hadn't told Chin and Kono about their relationship so he couldn't explain that he loved Danny and knew he'd never do that to him without a reason. And without talking to Danny first, he'd only be telling them what he hoped, not what he knew for certain.
Chin, always the logical one, came to his rescue. "If Danny said it happened, there was a reason. Maybe he was led to believe that it did?"
Steve frowned. "Maybe, but he found out at some point. He was the person who told me that it didn't."
"Whatever it was, he'd never do anything to hurt any one of us. We're ohana," Kono piped up.
"I know that, but I'm beginning to wonder if Danny does. He's always acting like we're going to bail on him. More lately than usual. I'm worried it's out of guilt for this lie and this is probably just killing him. I want to find him so we can get answers. I'm going to check at home and Kono, talk to Rachel and Grace. Don't alarm them, though. Chin, check out some of his favorite places... familiar places... and try to get more information on this kidnapping case. We're missing something here and I want to know what it is."
"You got it, Boss," Kono chimed in before disconnecting the call.
Steve sat there for a few moments, trying to remember anything he could about that day. Instead, he found his mind drifting to the last time Danny had tried to run after some emotional revelation. He looked up at his front porch, the scene of the crime. He smiled sadly. That escape had failed.
He remembered chasing Danny down to the beach nearly five weeks ago after telling him he had feelings for him that went beyond friendship after Danny had shown up at his door, upset about something Rachel had done. There was a touch and the feel of Danny's stubbled cheek leaning into Steve's palm. There was a kiss Danny seemed to surrender to as if there was no other choice. Steve hadn't let him go, no matter how much Danny pleaded. Nobody was going to lose a friend over this, Steve promised. He was in it for the long term.
But, getting Danny to trust him and open up to him hadn't been nearly as hard as getting him into his bed. In fact, that was one goal that hadn't completely materialized yet the way Steve had hoped.
As he opened the car door, the memories began to flood Steve's mind again as if playing out a romantic-comedy for an audience of one. The first kiss was slightly forced, but they quickly became pretty good at that. The first time Steve grazed a nipple through Danny's shirt had left Danny laughing hard, as if he was a toddler being tickled to death. Steve could only roll his eyes that time. But, when the day came they were lying out on the beach together, completely secluded, Steve had tackled that milestone once again, but with his mouth. There was no laughter that day, only soft sighs as they slowly explored each other.
Steve had finally kissed Danny senseless enough he didn't yelp or squirm away when he pushed his hand under his waistband and wrapped his hand around the hardness Danny had been trying to ignore. Danny's eyes had opened wide and the most pornographic moan Steve had ever heard left his mouth. Steve smiled. Danny whispered something incoherent and Steve was lost in lust as he fastened his mouth to Danny's neck and tugged slow and sure. The whispers turned to gasps and pleading and finally whimpers. He'd led Danny into the water then to rinse off.
After the trek to the house and the silence that followed, Steve was certain he'd spooked the other man, but apparently it was just the opposite. While Steve was taking his shower to wash the salt water off, Danny had joined him. He barely had time to register what was happening before Danny was on his knees, taking Steve into his mouth.
Steve had never cum so hard in his life. Regardless of Danny's purely virgin status when it came to other men, he must have received enough blow jobs in his life to figure out exactly what to do, Steve thought.
It had taken another few days to get Danny to agree to try something more. Steve relished being on top, enjoying the control of it, but Danny was terrified and Steve could tell there was no way that was happening for awhile. So, he agreed to switch off. He figured he could still enjoy the control if he could convince Danny to let him ride him. After a lot of kissing and whispered words of encouragement and allowing Danny watch him prepare himself, he had hovered over Danny and kissed his lips as he lowered down.
Danny had stilled instantly as he began to breach Steve's entrance. For Steve's part, he was trying not to cum all over Danny before he even got settled. The emotional intensity of the moment, the vulnerability and the intimacy was driving him insane. Soon they were moving in rhythm and Steve was quickly becoming lost in the moment. It's the only reason he can figure he didn't hear the door open or the footfalls that came closer. He had opened his eyes just in time to see Danny's eyes open wide in surprise and then felt a blow to the back of his head. When he woke up, they were on the cold floor of a warehouse and both dressed. Danny was babbling about how sorry he was and the story had unfolded from there.
Jason, an old friend and lover from the military days, had wanted some revenge for Steve turning him in all those years ago. He apparently wanted one last go with the man he'd bedded for nearly a year before Steve discovered his illegal dealings. He'd brought friends to help subdue him and Danny and they'd watched as Steve was violated and stood guard over Danny so he wouldn't interfere, according to Danny's story.
He made his way to the door and unlocked it. As soon as he opened it, he heard the noise of the television. "Danny?"
He walked into the living room and stopped, dead in his tracks. Prosecutors wouldn't have needed Danny to testify, after all. There was video coverage of the whole nightmare. Turns out Danny's story had some elements of truth to it, Steve thought, sickened by the images on his television.
Steve watched as the scenes he'd only heard about played out in grainy black and white on the screen. The choice of "You or him" and the agonizing decision to allow something so horrific for the safety of his partner tugged at Steve's heart now because he couldn't remember anything from that actual moment. The begging and pleading for it to stop was harsher and sadder than he'd been told. There was no defiance, as he'd been led to believe, only defeat. And it certainly wasn't a fast assault.
In fact, there were tender moments probably to make him feel more shamed and humiliated. And there was the pain that hit as soon as the first thrust finally occurred. Like a body memory, Steve shuddered at the imagination of the pain as an agonized scream tore from the television. And then there was sobbing... more defeat... No, Steve McGarrett's mind would have never allowed him to remember this type of torture, but it wasn't really up to Steve's mind at all because Steve finally knew Danny had told him the absolute truth in that courthouse.
Steve McGarrett wasn't raped on that cold warehouse floor.
Danny Williams was.
Pairings: Steve/Danno
Warnings: If you know me, you already know. For those who don't - non-con, violence
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort
Chapter: 1
Yes, it's a WIP. I know... you think that means I'll never finish it. You may be right, but I'm going to try as I always do.
Steve McGarrett was not raped.
Steve thought about that for a minute. It had been only days since he'd reluctantly accepted the fact he had been raped by one of the men who had gotten the drop on him and Danny during a moment of intimacy and now he was smacked in the head with the knowledge he never had anything to come to terms with in the first place. He had zoned out at the shock of what Danny was saying. All he could hear was Danny begging for Steve's forgiveness and saying over and over, "It never happened, Steve. He didn't touch you. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
It was certainly a relief in many ways to find out the truth, Steve realized. Enough so, that his attention finally began to focus on his surroundings again and he noticed the victims advocate, Morgan, was talking to him and somehow he'd missed everything she'd said. As the space around him phased out the mental hide-a-way he had just been in, he made eye contact with her.
"Sorry... what?"
"I said I can't believe he said that to you after all this time. Obviously there are some issues he's dealing with regarding you. I'm not sure why anyone would allow you to continue thinking..." She shrugged helplessly, having never had to deal with a situation so bizarre.
"Danny?" Steve looked around the large foyer of the courthouse for his partner, his best friend and the man who had taken the steps to be his full-time lover only for them to be taken off guard by a psycho from Steve's past.
"Yes. Detective Williams... whatever game he's playing, I can still help you with-"
"Danny wouldn't do that." He stood up, not really willing to listen to Morgan talk about Danny like he'd done something wrong. He looked up and down the hallways, certain Danny had to be close. He frowned when he could find no sign of the other man. "Where'd he go?"
"He left, Steve. Bolted out of here... probably in shame."
Steve sighed. "Look, this whole... victim thing never fit me right anyway. I didn't have nightmares. I've never had a flashback. All I've ever felt toward Jason is contempt and the desire to get revenge. Not once have I thought I needed to be protected from anything and I certainly didn't feel the need to heal. At least now I know why. It never happened. That's a good thing, isn't it? And as for Danny keeping it from me... he had to have had a reason."
"What possible reason could that be?"
He finally stopped looking for Danny and looked down at the tiny woman who had become a supporting figure in his life recently. He shook his head. "I don't know..." He looked out toward the crowd of people passing by again. "But I'm going to find out."
He pushed gently past her and headed for the door. There would be no meeting with the special prosecutors today. He was only meeting with them because Morgan encouraged him to consider the addition of the rape and conspiracy to rape charges. He really didn't care what happened to the five men who had held him captive. There were plenty of charges against them without adding rape, and once they were captured on their warrants for those other crimes, he planned to come back and be a good little witness on the kidnapping charges.
Things were going so well until he found out there was a possibility of Danny testifying. Steve had no memory of his rape. Of course now he knew it was because it had never happened, but at the time he was confused at how something so horrific could have gotten past him without even a flash of remembrance.
But Danny had been unwavering in what happened to the two after they woke up in the warehouse. Shock and trauma had been blamed for why Steve never even remembered waking up. Danny told him Jason, the man who used to be Steve's friend before taking money from criminals for side jobs, was shaking him and telling him that he was fucking someone that day and it was going to be him or his partner. Danny said he'd frozen, terrified of the consequences, but that Steve had quickly agreed to be the one to suffer, admitting to Danny that he and Jason had been lovers during their days in the military. Danny explained he had kept silent, still in shock at the suggestion and the revelation, and in shame for not defending Steve harder.
Steve had struggled to remember the tale Danny spun, but wasn't able to grasp even a hint of it. Even physically, there was little evidence. And both men knew it could be explained by what had transpired earlier that day between the two of them. Danny said Steve asked, no begged, for Jason to reconsider, to stop what he was doing, supposedly doing so for Danny's sake because he didn't want his lover to see him that way.
And then Jason, Danny said, had shoved into Steve easily, having prepared the man thoroughly before donning a condom. Steve had clenched his jaw in that McGarrett way and taken the hit for his partner's sake. It was quick, efficient. Jason finished, pulled out and pushed Steve at Danny. At this point, Danny's story was vague. He mentioned something about Steve passing out, but never gave any indication as to why. Danny apparently adjusted Steve's clothing and fell asleep next to him until they were finally found by the officers who had triangulated a cell phone call made by one of the captors.
Steve struggled to figure out what would possess Danny to tell him that story and then turn around today, when he was told he would have to testify on Steve's behalf to make the charge stick, and say it was all a lie. Steve frowned, determined to focus on the problem at hand. He was fine. Danny was fine. For now, he wanted to find Danny and then he could get answers. Then he wanted to finally jump back on the path to being together that he and Danny were on before this whole mess began.
As he stepped outside, he put his sunglasses on, temporarily blinded by the bright Hawaiian sun.
Where are you, Danno?
The car was still there and he figured Danny had either walked somewhere or taken a cab. No matter how upset he was, he would never leave Steve stranded. He sighed and pulled out his phone to call his partner, but it went straight to voice mail.
"Danny, I don't know what happened, but I'm not angry at you. I know you never do anything without your reasons and I just want to know what they are. You've been so... different lately and if it's because of this, whatever this was, we can work through it. We've been through way too much for me to just believe the worst here." Steve closed his eyes, wishing Danny was there so he could shake him into opening up to him, but the empty air on the other end of the phone was his only chance to convince him he was in it for the long haul. He took a deep breath, wishing the first time was in a different place and a different circumstance than this. "I love you, Danny."
He disconnected and headed toward the car, hoping Danny was at his house, the place they'd shared so many good memories before the nightmares took over the past couple of weeks.
The drive came him time to come up with scenarios that would make Danny lie. He thought maybe Jason was threatening to hurt Grace if Danny didn't convince Steve he'd been victimized, but he shook his head at that. Danny knew Steve would die for Grace. There'd be no reason to carry that out because Steve would do what he had to, even take part in the lie.
Maybe Danny was protecting Steve. Perhaps there was a deal reached where Jason said he wouldn't really rape Steve as long as Danny made him think he did. He could see that happening because Danny tended to go solo when it came to keep Steve safe. He did the same thing so he couldn't really blame his partner, but still... he hated thinking Danny was put in that position.
As Steve pulled into his drive, he figured having more people looking for Danny was a plus. He called Chin and had him put him on speaker so Kono could hear. He told them there was an issue with the case and Danny had taken off for some time to think.
"I want you guys to know something. It turns out what we thought went down in that warehouse... with me... never did."
He heard Kono gasp and there was silence as the cousins tried to process it. Kono finally spoke. "But... Danny said..."
"I know." Steve didn't know what else to say. He had no explanation for it. Danny and he hadn't told Chin and Kono about their relationship so he couldn't explain that he loved Danny and knew he'd never do that to him without a reason. And without talking to Danny first, he'd only be telling them what he hoped, not what he knew for certain.
Chin, always the logical one, came to his rescue. "If Danny said it happened, there was a reason. Maybe he was led to believe that it did?"
Steve frowned. "Maybe, but he found out at some point. He was the person who told me that it didn't."
"Whatever it was, he'd never do anything to hurt any one of us. We're ohana," Kono piped up.
"I know that, but I'm beginning to wonder if Danny does. He's always acting like we're going to bail on him. More lately than usual. I'm worried it's out of guilt for this lie and this is probably just killing him. I want to find him so we can get answers. I'm going to check at home and Kono, talk to Rachel and Grace. Don't alarm them, though. Chin, check out some of his favorite places... familiar places... and try to get more information on this kidnapping case. We're missing something here and I want to know what it is."
"You got it, Boss," Kono chimed in before disconnecting the call.
Steve sat there for a few moments, trying to remember anything he could about that day. Instead, he found his mind drifting to the last time Danny had tried to run after some emotional revelation. He looked up at his front porch, the scene of the crime. He smiled sadly. That escape had failed.
He remembered chasing Danny down to the beach nearly five weeks ago after telling him he had feelings for him that went beyond friendship after Danny had shown up at his door, upset about something Rachel had done. There was a touch and the feel of Danny's stubbled cheek leaning into Steve's palm. There was a kiss Danny seemed to surrender to as if there was no other choice. Steve hadn't let him go, no matter how much Danny pleaded. Nobody was going to lose a friend over this, Steve promised. He was in it for the long term.
But, getting Danny to trust him and open up to him hadn't been nearly as hard as getting him into his bed. In fact, that was one goal that hadn't completely materialized yet the way Steve had hoped.
As he opened the car door, the memories began to flood Steve's mind again as if playing out a romantic-comedy for an audience of one. The first kiss was slightly forced, but they quickly became pretty good at that. The first time Steve grazed a nipple through Danny's shirt had left Danny laughing hard, as if he was a toddler being tickled to death. Steve could only roll his eyes that time. But, when the day came they were lying out on the beach together, completely secluded, Steve had tackled that milestone once again, but with his mouth. There was no laughter that day, only soft sighs as they slowly explored each other.
Steve had finally kissed Danny senseless enough he didn't yelp or squirm away when he pushed his hand under his waistband and wrapped his hand around the hardness Danny had been trying to ignore. Danny's eyes had opened wide and the most pornographic moan Steve had ever heard left his mouth. Steve smiled. Danny whispered something incoherent and Steve was lost in lust as he fastened his mouth to Danny's neck and tugged slow and sure. The whispers turned to gasps and pleading and finally whimpers. He'd led Danny into the water then to rinse off.
After the trek to the house and the silence that followed, Steve was certain he'd spooked the other man, but apparently it was just the opposite. While Steve was taking his shower to wash the salt water off, Danny had joined him. He barely had time to register what was happening before Danny was on his knees, taking Steve into his mouth.
Steve had never cum so hard in his life. Regardless of Danny's purely virgin status when it came to other men, he must have received enough blow jobs in his life to figure out exactly what to do, Steve thought.
It had taken another few days to get Danny to agree to try something more. Steve relished being on top, enjoying the control of it, but Danny was terrified and Steve could tell there was no way that was happening for awhile. So, he agreed to switch off. He figured he could still enjoy the control if he could convince Danny to let him ride him. After a lot of kissing and whispered words of encouragement and allowing Danny watch him prepare himself, he had hovered over Danny and kissed his lips as he lowered down.
Danny had stilled instantly as he began to breach Steve's entrance. For Steve's part, he was trying not to cum all over Danny before he even got settled. The emotional intensity of the moment, the vulnerability and the intimacy was driving him insane. Soon they were moving in rhythm and Steve was quickly becoming lost in the moment. It's the only reason he can figure he didn't hear the door open or the footfalls that came closer. He had opened his eyes just in time to see Danny's eyes open wide in surprise and then felt a blow to the back of his head. When he woke up, they were on the cold floor of a warehouse and both dressed. Danny was babbling about how sorry he was and the story had unfolded from there.
Jason, an old friend and lover from the military days, had wanted some revenge for Steve turning him in all those years ago. He apparently wanted one last go with the man he'd bedded for nearly a year before Steve discovered his illegal dealings. He'd brought friends to help subdue him and Danny and they'd watched as Steve was violated and stood guard over Danny so he wouldn't interfere, according to Danny's story.
He made his way to the door and unlocked it. As soon as he opened it, he heard the noise of the television. "Danny?"
He walked into the living room and stopped, dead in his tracks. Prosecutors wouldn't have needed Danny to testify, after all. There was video coverage of the whole nightmare. Turns out Danny's story had some elements of truth to it, Steve thought, sickened by the images on his television.
Steve watched as the scenes he'd only heard about played out in grainy black and white on the screen. The choice of "You or him" and the agonizing decision to allow something so horrific for the safety of his partner tugged at Steve's heart now because he couldn't remember anything from that actual moment. The begging and pleading for it to stop was harsher and sadder than he'd been told. There was no defiance, as he'd been led to believe, only defeat. And it certainly wasn't a fast assault.
In fact, there were tender moments probably to make him feel more shamed and humiliated. And there was the pain that hit as soon as the first thrust finally occurred. Like a body memory, Steve shuddered at the imagination of the pain as an agonized scream tore from the television. And then there was sobbing... more defeat... No, Steve McGarrett's mind would have never allowed him to remember this type of torture, but it wasn't really up to Steve's mind at all because Steve finally knew Danny had told him the absolute truth in that courthouse.
Steve McGarrett wasn't raped on that cold warehouse floor.
Danny Williams was.