(no subject)
Wow...I haven't written on here for over a year...not much has changed actually. I'm still a High School Graduate who stuck in High School. Okay not literally...but i feel like a big part of who i am was left in Hanau and i can't seem to bring it with me to college. I mean when i come back to visit i'm myself again but then i leave and i dunno i'm just this dull boring person...I don't get it...maybe now that i'm only going to london it'll come with me and then transition easier to the states.
...I also almost feel like i've given up on finding a guy...i mean yeah sure i still check guys out all the time...but i mean i never think hmm...maybe i can meet a guy here...I dunno what's wrong with me i mean i should be trying to find the love of my life around every corner...i think it still has to do with that part of me that's stuck in High School...I think part of me is still hanging on to my high school romances (or almost romances)...I guess i just need to get over that but i don't know how...cause i don't seem to be able to talk to the guys at my college...it's not that i'm afraid...it's just that i can't think of anything to say...I'm just like "Hi..." "well...Um...Bye" and i can't think of anything. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? And since when did it stop being the guys job to talk to the girl. i hate it i mean nowadays you see the girls doing all the asking and all the talking unless the girl is like supermodel skinny and pretty then the guys are all over them. Argg...I know this is like a super long entry but i haven't really been able to vent...
I know this is a Country song...and no i don't like country now...I just really love this song because it fits how i feel about alot of things...I know this may seem really depressing but i'm not depressed i just have alot of questions and things on my mind.
RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....