Confrontation Situation (2/2)
Confrontation Situation (2/2)
NCIS, Tony/Ziva. 1,572 words, author note &c. in Part 1.
They've moved from their earlier positions to ones that are more comfortable. Tony leans against the headboard, legs stretched out, and Ziva sits facing him, legs crossed, keeping her distance until he's given her answers to the questions she can no longer ignore.
He's not surprised that she breaks the silence first. Patience is not generally her strength.
"I didn't know you and the Director were so close."
"We've been working together."
"So it seems."
He guesses she's going for light-hearted but she can't quite pull it off. He doesn't blame her, he's not sure he could either, but it does nothing to alleviate the tension between them.
He takes a deep breath, counts to five, and releases it. Outline only, he reminds himself, and metaphorically steps over the edge.
"For the past several months I've been working on an undercover operation with Jenny. She approached me about it not long after Gibbs left, asked me if I wanted to be involved- I said yes."
"And all the times you were mysteriously gone, running ‘errands' for her?"
"I was working on this, yes."
Ziva takes a minute to absorb that, then shakes her head unsatisfied. Although it goes a long way towards explaining some things, it doesn't explain others.
"The hospital bracelet?"
He was afraid that she'd choose to focus on that.
It's the part of all of this he'll find the hardest to tell, because beneath the flirtatious teasing they often indulge in lies something deeper. They don't talk about it or even always acknowledge it but they both know it's there, and even though the operation is responsible for placing Jeanne in his life, it still feels as if the things he's done with her to maintain his cover are somehow a betrayal.
"This is the part I'm afraid you won't like."
"Then that must mean that it involves a women, yes?"
"Yes."
"Is she the target?"
"No."
"But she is connected to him or her."
"She is."
"And she works at the hospital?"
"She does."
"That's why you had the bracelet. She put it on you."
And that was deliberate. She was claiming you.
Ziva feels jealousy rear its head and has to consciously fight it down. She knows has no real right to feel possessive of Tony but it doesn't stop her from feeling it anyway; undercover operation or not, she doesn't like the idea of him belonging to anybody else.
"Are you sleeping with her?"
"It would be suspicious if I wasn't, Ziva. I couldn't put her off forever."
He wonders if the fact that he didn't jump into bed with her straight away will make a difference to his often unpredictable partner. Somehow he doubts it. He knows she's familiar with the demands of undercover work, that she knows there are times you have to do things you don't necessarily want to do, but he's not sure he can count on that swinging things in his favour.
"I thought you were seriously ill, Tony. I was actually worried about you, and now I feel like a donkey's butt."
"Ass."
The automatic correction fails to evoke its usual reaction, she feels too many things to focus on any one of them. Anger, pain and betrayal are swirled together with confusion and hurt, each one overwhelming and yet indistinguishable from the rest.
She imagines Tony with his mystery woman, the two of them laughing together while she sits at her desk, worrying unnecessarily, and tries to decide if she hates him or herself more. She finally cares for someone enough to worry the way she worries about him and this is her reward; lies and secrets and damaged trust.
"I'm sorry, Ziva."
"I know."
"I didn't want to hurt you."
"You managed anyway."
The words are faint but he hears them and they hurt.
He sits up, reaches for her hand and tugs gently until she ends up in his arms. Burying his face in her hair, he whispers apologies over and over as her silent tears soak his shoulder. Despite her tough girl exterior and ‘I can handle anything' attitude, he knows that Ziva is just as fragile as anyone else.
"If I could change this, I would."
"I believe you."
"Can you forgive me?"
She nods, doesn't trust herself to speak. They have to get past this because she doesn't want to lose him, what they are together means too much to her to let that happen. If that involves her forgiving him for putting her through this, then she'll find a way to make that happen.
"How much longer is this operation going to last?"
"I don't know, I don't think even Jenny knows for sure. Another month or so, maybe."
"All in secret?"
"All in secret."
"Would it not be easier if you let everyone know? We can help you then."
"Easier, maybe, but it's not a good idea. Gibbs isn't going to like this and we're in too deep to back out now."
He can easily imagine Gibbs' fury when he finally discovers what's been going on under his nose, and it makes him shudder when he thinks about it for too long. Assuming La Grenouille doesn't kill him before he can complete his mission, and assuming Jeanne doesn't kill him for lying to her, Gibbs will definitely kill him for keeping him out of the loop.
"You could get hurt, Tony."
"That risk kind of comes with the job, you know that."
"Let me go in with you, I can be your backup."
"You can't. We can't risk it, Ziva. The target is the suspicious type and, not to mention, two of us missing at the same time will definitely get Gibbs spidey-sense tingling."
"His ‘spidey-sense'?"
"Never mind. It's not an option, is my point. Jenny supports me from MTAC and there's backup in place- I'll be okay, I promise."
"I want to help you."
"I know. And I wish you could but you can't."
Ziva doesn't like any of this. It's preferable to her original theory - she'd rather find out he's working undercover instead of facing complications from the plague - but she still doesn't like it. She watches his back, he watches hers; letting him do this alone goes against everything she's learnt here.
"So- what happens now?"
"Now, we sleep. Early meetings with Jenny are early, spy-girl, and she wants you there."
"So she can reiterate everything you just said, yes? And swear me to secrecy."
"Probably. I can lend you something to sleep in if you want to crash here."
"I can't wear these clothes to work, Tony."
"So, we'll stop by your place on the way in and you can change."
He shrugs as if he doesn't mind what she does while his mind spins through plans and arguments. If she isn't at that meeting with him in a few hours, Jenny is going to tear him apart.
"If you want to go home, I'm not stopping you. Just make sure you're in Jenny's office at 04:30."
"Before anyone else arrives, you mean."
"Exactly."
If she goes home now, it won't be worth trying to sleep; if she stays here it will, and she can keep an eye on Tony. It's not a difficult decision to make.
She pulls away from him and shrugs off her jacket, folds it neatly and stands up. He takes the hint and slides off the bed to open a drawer, from which he produces a soft, well-worn t-shirt almost identical to one she has at home.
"Funny thing, you know... I used to have two of these."
"Oh?"
"Mm. And then after our little undercover escapade, the other was missing."
He knows that she took it because no one else has had access to that particular item of clothing. He doesn't really mind, he kind of likes the idea of Ziva in his shirt.
She gives nothing away, her expression pure innocence, but he doesn't expect her to.
"Huh. That is a shame... still, I'm sure that its new owner appreciates it."
"Good to know."
She catches the shirt and changes into it without a hint of self-consciousness. She isn't shy about her body, which he's seen before, and part of her thinks it doesn't hurt to remind him of what he has right here in front of him.
He's already under the covers when she finishes folding her clothes, and he yawns as she slides in next to him. She waits while he reaches over to turn out the light and then aligns her body to his, using his shoulder as a pillow and silently swearing that one sarcastic comment will have him limping for weeks.
Fortunately, his sense of self-preservation is stronger than it appears, because he only wraps an arm around her and settles in to a more comfortable position, whispers a drowsy good night and closes his eyes.
He's asleep within minutes while she lies awake. There's so much more to all of this than he says, there has to be, but if she wants answers she's going to have to ask Jenny. Tony will only tell what he thinks he can, less if he can get away with it.
She closes her eyes, lets his heartbeat lull her into a state of tranquility, and vows, before sleep claims her, that she isn't giving up on this without a fight.
NCIS, Tony/Ziva. 1,572 words, author note &c. in Part 1.
They've moved from their earlier positions to ones that are more comfortable. Tony leans against the headboard, legs stretched out, and Ziva sits facing him, legs crossed, keeping her distance until he's given her answers to the questions she can no longer ignore.
He's not surprised that she breaks the silence first. Patience is not generally her strength.
"I didn't know you and the Director were so close."
"We've been working together."
"So it seems."
He guesses she's going for light-hearted but she can't quite pull it off. He doesn't blame her, he's not sure he could either, but it does nothing to alleviate the tension between them.
He takes a deep breath, counts to five, and releases it. Outline only, he reminds himself, and metaphorically steps over the edge.
"For the past several months I've been working on an undercover operation with Jenny. She approached me about it not long after Gibbs left, asked me if I wanted to be involved- I said yes."
"And all the times you were mysteriously gone, running ‘errands' for her?"
"I was working on this, yes."
Ziva takes a minute to absorb that, then shakes her head unsatisfied. Although it goes a long way towards explaining some things, it doesn't explain others.
"The hospital bracelet?"
He was afraid that she'd choose to focus on that.
It's the part of all of this he'll find the hardest to tell, because beneath the flirtatious teasing they often indulge in lies something deeper. They don't talk about it or even always acknowledge it but they both know it's there, and even though the operation is responsible for placing Jeanne in his life, it still feels as if the things he's done with her to maintain his cover are somehow a betrayal.
"This is the part I'm afraid you won't like."
"Then that must mean that it involves a women, yes?"
"Yes."
"Is she the target?"
"No."
"But she is connected to him or her."
"She is."
"And she works at the hospital?"
"She does."
"That's why you had the bracelet. She put it on you."
And that was deliberate. She was claiming you.
Ziva feels jealousy rear its head and has to consciously fight it down. She knows has no real right to feel possessive of Tony but it doesn't stop her from feeling it anyway; undercover operation or not, she doesn't like the idea of him belonging to anybody else.
"Are you sleeping with her?"
"It would be suspicious if I wasn't, Ziva. I couldn't put her off forever."
He wonders if the fact that he didn't jump into bed with her straight away will make a difference to his often unpredictable partner. Somehow he doubts it. He knows she's familiar with the demands of undercover work, that she knows there are times you have to do things you don't necessarily want to do, but he's not sure he can count on that swinging things in his favour.
"I thought you were seriously ill, Tony. I was actually worried about you, and now I feel like a donkey's butt."
"Ass."
The automatic correction fails to evoke its usual reaction, she feels too many things to focus on any one of them. Anger, pain and betrayal are swirled together with confusion and hurt, each one overwhelming and yet indistinguishable from the rest.
She imagines Tony with his mystery woman, the two of them laughing together while she sits at her desk, worrying unnecessarily, and tries to decide if she hates him or herself more. She finally cares for someone enough to worry the way she worries about him and this is her reward; lies and secrets and damaged trust.
"I'm sorry, Ziva."
"I know."
"I didn't want to hurt you."
"You managed anyway."
The words are faint but he hears them and they hurt.
He sits up, reaches for her hand and tugs gently until she ends up in his arms. Burying his face in her hair, he whispers apologies over and over as her silent tears soak his shoulder. Despite her tough girl exterior and ‘I can handle anything' attitude, he knows that Ziva is just as fragile as anyone else.
"If I could change this, I would."
"I believe you."
"Can you forgive me?"
She nods, doesn't trust herself to speak. They have to get past this because she doesn't want to lose him, what they are together means too much to her to let that happen. If that involves her forgiving him for putting her through this, then she'll find a way to make that happen.
"How much longer is this operation going to last?"
"I don't know, I don't think even Jenny knows for sure. Another month or so, maybe."
"All in secret?"
"All in secret."
"Would it not be easier if you let everyone know? We can help you then."
"Easier, maybe, but it's not a good idea. Gibbs isn't going to like this and we're in too deep to back out now."
He can easily imagine Gibbs' fury when he finally discovers what's been going on under his nose, and it makes him shudder when he thinks about it for too long. Assuming La Grenouille doesn't kill him before he can complete his mission, and assuming Jeanne doesn't kill him for lying to her, Gibbs will definitely kill him for keeping him out of the loop.
"You could get hurt, Tony."
"That risk kind of comes with the job, you know that."
"Let me go in with you, I can be your backup."
"You can't. We can't risk it, Ziva. The target is the suspicious type and, not to mention, two of us missing at the same time will definitely get Gibbs spidey-sense tingling."
"His ‘spidey-sense'?"
"Never mind. It's not an option, is my point. Jenny supports me from MTAC and there's backup in place- I'll be okay, I promise."
"I want to help you."
"I know. And I wish you could but you can't."
Ziva doesn't like any of this. It's preferable to her original theory - she'd rather find out he's working undercover instead of facing complications from the plague - but she still doesn't like it. She watches his back, he watches hers; letting him do this alone goes against everything she's learnt here.
"So- what happens now?"
"Now, we sleep. Early meetings with Jenny are early, spy-girl, and she wants you there."
"So she can reiterate everything you just said, yes? And swear me to secrecy."
"Probably. I can lend you something to sleep in if you want to crash here."
"I can't wear these clothes to work, Tony."
"So, we'll stop by your place on the way in and you can change."
He shrugs as if he doesn't mind what she does while his mind spins through plans and arguments. If she isn't at that meeting with him in a few hours, Jenny is going to tear him apart.
"If you want to go home, I'm not stopping you. Just make sure you're in Jenny's office at 04:30."
"Before anyone else arrives, you mean."
"Exactly."
If she goes home now, it won't be worth trying to sleep; if she stays here it will, and she can keep an eye on Tony. It's not a difficult decision to make.
She pulls away from him and shrugs off her jacket, folds it neatly and stands up. He takes the hint and slides off the bed to open a drawer, from which he produces a soft, well-worn t-shirt almost identical to one she has at home.
"Funny thing, you know... I used to have two of these."
"Oh?"
"Mm. And then after our little undercover escapade, the other was missing."
He knows that she took it because no one else has had access to that particular item of clothing. He doesn't really mind, he kind of likes the idea of Ziva in his shirt.
She gives nothing away, her expression pure innocence, but he doesn't expect her to.
"Huh. That is a shame... still, I'm sure that its new owner appreciates it."
"Good to know."
She catches the shirt and changes into it without a hint of self-consciousness. She isn't shy about her body, which he's seen before, and part of her thinks it doesn't hurt to remind him of what he has right here in front of him.
He's already under the covers when she finishes folding her clothes, and he yawns as she slides in next to him. She waits while he reaches over to turn out the light and then aligns her body to his, using his shoulder as a pillow and silently swearing that one sarcastic comment will have him limping for weeks.
Fortunately, his sense of self-preservation is stronger than it appears, because he only wraps an arm around her and settles in to a more comfortable position, whispers a drowsy good night and closes his eyes.
He's asleep within minutes while she lies awake. There's so much more to all of this than he says, there has to be, but if she wants answers she's going to have to ask Jenny. Tony will only tell what he thinks he can, less if he can get away with it.
She closes her eyes, lets his heartbeat lull her into a state of tranquility, and vows, before sleep claims her, that she isn't giving up on this without a fight.