Start to Finish: Chapter 10: Rossi
Title: Start to Finish
Author: ficdirectory
Characters: Rossi
Word Count: 23,799 - Chapter 10/10
Warnings/Spoilers/Rating: Character Death/Seasons 1-6, written prior to “Lauren”/FRT.
Summary: Rossi’s time in the BAU.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the CBS-owned characters mentioned. Not written for profit.
Notes: Over the last week, I have written a crazy amount of drabbles from every POV in the BAU, covering every season of Criminal Minds. Instead of posting them as random collections, I thought I'd arrange them in chapter formats, by character.
ROSSI:
Rossi has never been, and never will be afraid to go out and face the world. He will never hide himself away. Not when there is so much good still here.
When he walks into church, it's obvious. He's home. There's something so reassuring about being here. Not just the familiarity but the sense of peace, the reverence, the holiness about it.
The fact that he can predict with absolute certainty how everything will play out. Nothing changes. Everything is just the same as it's always been.
Rossi genuflects, and takes a seat in the pew, to listen, surrounded by familiar and unfamiliar faces. But all of them at least, have this faith in common.
--
Rossi knows he isn't exactly the kind of man that women line up for. At least not women who knew him. He has a reputation. He falls hard. He's a romantic at heart. So, inevitably, they go out for meals, they talk, they enjoy each other's company.
But then things happen. Marriage happens. And it's good for a while. Or it's terrible from the beginning. And his first marriage pretty much set the tone for the next three. He didn't have a commitment problem, he just had a problem believing he was good enough to stay around.
He hopes to God none of the team profiles that about him.
--
Rossi wasn't here for the Fisher King case, but he hears about it often enough to feel as though he were. Spencer, in particular, seems to make it his personal mission to inform Rossi about every single case that the team worked in his absence.
Sometimes, Rossi imagines it. Sometimes, he can't, even if he tries. Sometimes, he asks himself why he's trying to remember a case like this when he already has enough demons of his own.
There are strange echoes of Elle Greenaway left behind. Nothing tangible, and yet they hang around, like puffs of smoke. What must it have felt like to get sent home only to find the very unsub you're looking for in your house, with a gun leveled at your face? These feelings come up at the oddest times, as if she is a ghost, not a living person.
Sometimes, it's not that at all, but the image that comes, unbidden, to Rossi's mind: the word RULES painted on a wall, in blood. The image of Hotch, showing up there, and scrubbing and repainting that wall, so that no trace of the word remained behind.
He knew the details of the case because of Spencer, but he knew about afterward because Dave knows Hotch. Exactly the kind of man he is.
--
Rossi is rarely flustered. It's just a fact. He hears Emily and Spencer, and Derek in his office analyzing his taupe walls and lack of commendations displayed. Wondering if his renaissance art is authentic. Wondering about his religion. His heritage.
He listens to them say that he doesn't know how to be a team player.
Then, he walks in.
He calls them on every single thing they think they have surmised about him. But he does this calmly, with no hint of malice, because it's only natural to be curious. And because he's a little amused by their assessment, and how involved they have become. How embarrassed they are to be caught.
He turns and walks away.
And they are the ones left speechless.
--
Rossi doesn't understand what the big deal is. So what if he keeps to himself? So what if he takes his own notes? He’s with the team, isn't he? He’s contributing, isn't he?
The truth is, everything has changed since he had last been here. Namely, people's attitudes toward him. He is like a celebrity around the office. And while that isn't all bad, it’s definitely overwhelming and a little distracting.
He can't understand all the changes. A jet. A communications liaison. Files that were almost entirely on computer.
The BAU that he used to be a part of was nothing like this. It was simpler. More solitary.
Less intense.
He opens his notebook and gets down to work.
--
Rossi feels like he’s stepped into some sort of alternate world when he speaks with Spencer Reid. This kid is so intense that it kind of makes Rossi’s head spin. Half the time, he can’t keep up with what the heck he is saying and the other half, Rossi spends feeling like he is missing something obvious just because Spencer takes in so much at once.
At first, he is irritated that they get paired so often together. When he isn’t rattling off information, he is asking to discuss certain cases from Rossi’s past that “fascinate” Spencer, for reasons beyond Rossi’s comprehension.
--
Rossi has experienced deja vu before but never like this.
When he sees the three kids - not kids at all anymore - he has to blink away the images of them that remain trapped in his mind. Images of them covered in blood. Screaming. Crying.
He shakes his head. They are not children anymore. They are grown. And they are angry. For some reason, Rossi hasn't expected this. He expected them to be glad to see him, as he is to see them.
"I'm sorry," he apologizes, glancing at JJ. "I won't bother you kids again."
"And you'll stop it with the gifts, too?"
Rossi goes cold. "I never sent any gifts."
This is news to him. Terrible news.
This means that twenty years after the worst day of their lives, the unsub who killed their parents is not only still out there.
He is watching them.
--
Rossi gets right in Garcia's face. He is done playing games.
"I want to know everything you do on company time!"
He knows he sounds like a hard ass but, damn it, they've got an unsub out there who is not going to stop stalking Garcia until he kills her. The bottom line is, he doesn't want that. So he gets tough.
She insists it's nothing bad, but he makes her tell it anyway. The last thing they need is more nights like tonight when this creep got into Garcia's apartment complex with the intent of finishing her off.
Rossi needs to find the missing piece. He needs to protect his own.
--
Rossi has never been more relieved that he insisted on staying. It takes time for Reid to calm down. Too long. Even when he says he is fine, Rossi can see that he isn't. He's pale. Shaking.
The therapist brings him water and tries to encourage him to talk about what he saw. But he is completely shut down. Just shakes his head no.
But on the way back, when it's just the two of them, Reid volunteers the information to the empty air.
"My dad was burning bloody clothes." He sounds empty, but not dark. Confused, bitter, afraid, and determined.
It sends a shiver down Rossi's back. He had hoped to God that his dad had been right, and Reid just had an over-active imagination.
"Are you okay?" Rossi asks, more to get a measure of where Reid's at in his own head than anything else.
This time, he sighs.
"No."
--
All he had asked for was a clear day, so he could hunt, undisturbed. And that is exactly what he got.
It isn't often that Rossi is able to truly enjoy time off, but every once in a while it drops into his lap, like a gift, and he's worked long enough to understand that it's never a sure thing. The phone can ring at any time, and it probably will.
So, for now, he takes a deep breath. He drinks in the scenery around him. He takes just a minute to appreciate the blue skies, the trees, the water, and even his black lab, who is hyper enough to need Ritalin.
"You're a good boy, aren't you?" he says, patting the dog's head.
Rossi smirks. He is trying, that's for damn sure. The dog's practically quivering with anticipation of the gunshot and the signal to retrieve the bird.
So, he aims and fires, a perfect shot, and watches the dog take off.
Rossi takes a deep breath.
There really is nothing better than a little time away.
--
Rossi walks around the muddy ground with Prentiss. He tells her the story that The Exorcist is based on. He waits. Then he tells her he is here if she wants to talk. If she doesn't he is fine with that, but if she wants to tell him anything, he is here. He is ready to listen.
He doesn't really expect her to tell him anything. Most of the rest of them might. It would be too irresistible to them that David Rossi took an interest in them, but Prentiss carries her grief differently. She wears it. She doesn't seem to want to share it.
But when she opens her mouth, he keeps his promise.
He listens.
--
Rossi's thoughts are his own worst enemy sometimes. They trap him with their insistence that he should have done this differently or not done that quite so forcefully.
Sometimes, he can't sleep. Sometimes, it's all he can do.
Sometimes, he wonders what exactly has become of his life that he is alone right now. He could have a family, but chose not to? He could surround himself with people who care for him, but there aren't many of those.
Only his team. He counts on them, probably more than he should.
But the truth is, after just a few years, they have become his family.
They hold the key to unlocking those thoughts.
--
Rossi didn't go undercover for a reason: the risk was too high. He wasn't just speculating. He knew from experience. There was nothing worse than making headway in a case and then being found out and being beaten within an inch of your life.
That was probably why he chose this line of work. And later, writing books. No one could try to kill you for that.
Or so he thought, until he turned his back on Professor Rothchild and heard the man scream like the disturbed individual he was, and tried to take Rossi down.
But if his earlier experience taught him anything, it was to always be prepared.
And when he slammed this perp against the glass and told him how it was, it felt damn good to know the truth.
That this time, he had the upper hand.
--
The definition of insanity is as follows: to do the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.
If this is true, aren't they all insane? How many more of their own will they wake and bury? How many more will they have to lose? How many more will they go through these motions with? Lay to rest?
In the church, Rossi crosses himself, and thinks of the faith Emily had, and lost. He thinks of the baby from so many years ago. He prays that now she and the child have found each other...and that perhaps...they have some measure of peace.
If nothing else, then please, God, give them that.
Give them something.
Tears fall.
Everything's the same.
And everything is different.
Author: ficdirectory
Characters: Rossi
Word Count: 23,799 - Chapter 10/10
Warnings/Spoilers/Rating: Character Death/Seasons 1-6, written prior to “Lauren”/FRT.
Summary: Rossi’s time in the BAU.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the CBS-owned characters mentioned. Not written for profit.
Notes: Over the last week, I have written a crazy amount of drabbles from every POV in the BAU, covering every season of Criminal Minds. Instead of posting them as random collections, I thought I'd arrange them in chapter formats, by character.
ROSSI:
Rossi has never been, and never will be afraid to go out and face the world. He will never hide himself away. Not when there is so much good still here.
When he walks into church, it's obvious. He's home. There's something so reassuring about being here. Not just the familiarity but the sense of peace, the reverence, the holiness about it.
The fact that he can predict with absolute certainty how everything will play out. Nothing changes. Everything is just the same as it's always been.
Rossi genuflects, and takes a seat in the pew, to listen, surrounded by familiar and unfamiliar faces. But all of them at least, have this faith in common.
--
Rossi knows he isn't exactly the kind of man that women line up for. At least not women who knew him. He has a reputation. He falls hard. He's a romantic at heart. So, inevitably, they go out for meals, they talk, they enjoy each other's company.
But then things happen. Marriage happens. And it's good for a while. Or it's terrible from the beginning. And his first marriage pretty much set the tone for the next three. He didn't have a commitment problem, he just had a problem believing he was good enough to stay around.
He hopes to God none of the team profiles that about him.
--
Rossi wasn't here for the Fisher King case, but he hears about it often enough to feel as though he were. Spencer, in particular, seems to make it his personal mission to inform Rossi about every single case that the team worked in his absence.
Sometimes, Rossi imagines it. Sometimes, he can't, even if he tries. Sometimes, he asks himself why he's trying to remember a case like this when he already has enough demons of his own.
There are strange echoes of Elle Greenaway left behind. Nothing tangible, and yet they hang around, like puffs of smoke. What must it have felt like to get sent home only to find the very unsub you're looking for in your house, with a gun leveled at your face? These feelings come up at the oddest times, as if she is a ghost, not a living person.
Sometimes, it's not that at all, but the image that comes, unbidden, to Rossi's mind: the word RULES painted on a wall, in blood. The image of Hotch, showing up there, and scrubbing and repainting that wall, so that no trace of the word remained behind.
He knew the details of the case because of Spencer, but he knew about afterward because Dave knows Hotch. Exactly the kind of man he is.
--
Rossi is rarely flustered. It's just a fact. He hears Emily and Spencer, and Derek in his office analyzing his taupe walls and lack of commendations displayed. Wondering if his renaissance art is authentic. Wondering about his religion. His heritage.
He listens to them say that he doesn't know how to be a team player.
Then, he walks in.
He calls them on every single thing they think they have surmised about him. But he does this calmly, with no hint of malice, because it's only natural to be curious. And because he's a little amused by their assessment, and how involved they have become. How embarrassed they are to be caught.
He turns and walks away.
And they are the ones left speechless.
--
Rossi doesn't understand what the big deal is. So what if he keeps to himself? So what if he takes his own notes? He’s with the team, isn't he? He’s contributing, isn't he?
The truth is, everything has changed since he had last been here. Namely, people's attitudes toward him. He is like a celebrity around the office. And while that isn't all bad, it’s definitely overwhelming and a little distracting.
He can't understand all the changes. A jet. A communications liaison. Files that were almost entirely on computer.
The BAU that he used to be a part of was nothing like this. It was simpler. More solitary.
Less intense.
He opens his notebook and gets down to work.
--
Rossi feels like he’s stepped into some sort of alternate world when he speaks with Spencer Reid. This kid is so intense that it kind of makes Rossi’s head spin. Half the time, he can’t keep up with what the heck he is saying and the other half, Rossi spends feeling like he is missing something obvious just because Spencer takes in so much at once.
At first, he is irritated that they get paired so often together. When he isn’t rattling off information, he is asking to discuss certain cases from Rossi’s past that “fascinate” Spencer, for reasons beyond Rossi’s comprehension.
--
Rossi has experienced deja vu before but never like this.
When he sees the three kids - not kids at all anymore - he has to blink away the images of them that remain trapped in his mind. Images of them covered in blood. Screaming. Crying.
He shakes his head. They are not children anymore. They are grown. And they are angry. For some reason, Rossi hasn't expected this. He expected them to be glad to see him, as he is to see them.
"I'm sorry," he apologizes, glancing at JJ. "I won't bother you kids again."
"And you'll stop it with the gifts, too?"
Rossi goes cold. "I never sent any gifts."
This is news to him. Terrible news.
This means that twenty years after the worst day of their lives, the unsub who killed their parents is not only still out there.
He is watching them.
--
Rossi gets right in Garcia's face. He is done playing games.
"I want to know everything you do on company time!"
He knows he sounds like a hard ass but, damn it, they've got an unsub out there who is not going to stop stalking Garcia until he kills her. The bottom line is, he doesn't want that. So he gets tough.
She insists it's nothing bad, but he makes her tell it anyway. The last thing they need is more nights like tonight when this creep got into Garcia's apartment complex with the intent of finishing her off.
Rossi needs to find the missing piece. He needs to protect his own.
--
Rossi has never been more relieved that he insisted on staying. It takes time for Reid to calm down. Too long. Even when he says he is fine, Rossi can see that he isn't. He's pale. Shaking.
The therapist brings him water and tries to encourage him to talk about what he saw. But he is completely shut down. Just shakes his head no.
But on the way back, when it's just the two of them, Reid volunteers the information to the empty air.
"My dad was burning bloody clothes." He sounds empty, but not dark. Confused, bitter, afraid, and determined.
It sends a shiver down Rossi's back. He had hoped to God that his dad had been right, and Reid just had an over-active imagination.
"Are you okay?" Rossi asks, more to get a measure of where Reid's at in his own head than anything else.
This time, he sighs.
"No."
--
All he had asked for was a clear day, so he could hunt, undisturbed. And that is exactly what he got.
It isn't often that Rossi is able to truly enjoy time off, but every once in a while it drops into his lap, like a gift, and he's worked long enough to understand that it's never a sure thing. The phone can ring at any time, and it probably will.
So, for now, he takes a deep breath. He drinks in the scenery around him. He takes just a minute to appreciate the blue skies, the trees, the water, and even his black lab, who is hyper enough to need Ritalin.
"You're a good boy, aren't you?" he says, patting the dog's head.
Rossi smirks. He is trying, that's for damn sure. The dog's practically quivering with anticipation of the gunshot and the signal to retrieve the bird.
So, he aims and fires, a perfect shot, and watches the dog take off.
Rossi takes a deep breath.
There really is nothing better than a little time away.
--
Rossi walks around the muddy ground with Prentiss. He tells her the story that The Exorcist is based on. He waits. Then he tells her he is here if she wants to talk. If she doesn't he is fine with that, but if she wants to tell him anything, he is here. He is ready to listen.
He doesn't really expect her to tell him anything. Most of the rest of them might. It would be too irresistible to them that David Rossi took an interest in them, but Prentiss carries her grief differently. She wears it. She doesn't seem to want to share it.
But when she opens her mouth, he keeps his promise.
He listens.
--
Rossi's thoughts are his own worst enemy sometimes. They trap him with their insistence that he should have done this differently or not done that quite so forcefully.
Sometimes, he can't sleep. Sometimes, it's all he can do.
Sometimes, he wonders what exactly has become of his life that he is alone right now. He could have a family, but chose not to? He could surround himself with people who care for him, but there aren't many of those.
Only his team. He counts on them, probably more than he should.
But the truth is, after just a few years, they have become his family.
They hold the key to unlocking those thoughts.
--
Rossi didn't go undercover for a reason: the risk was too high. He wasn't just speculating. He knew from experience. There was nothing worse than making headway in a case and then being found out and being beaten within an inch of your life.
That was probably why he chose this line of work. And later, writing books. No one could try to kill you for that.
Or so he thought, until he turned his back on Professor Rothchild and heard the man scream like the disturbed individual he was, and tried to take Rossi down.
But if his earlier experience taught him anything, it was to always be prepared.
And when he slammed this perp against the glass and told him how it was, it felt damn good to know the truth.
That this time, he had the upper hand.
--
The definition of insanity is as follows: to do the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.
If this is true, aren't they all insane? How many more of their own will they wake and bury? How many more will they have to lose? How many more will they go through these motions with? Lay to rest?
In the church, Rossi crosses himself, and thinks of the faith Emily had, and lost. He thinks of the baby from so many years ago. He prays that now she and the child have found each other...and that perhaps...they have some measure of peace.
If nothing else, then please, God, give them that.
Give them something.
Tears fall.
Everything's the same.
And everything is different.