Moonlight
Song: Delicate Child - RJ Helton
Prompt: Moonlight
Reid was really in trouble. He couldn't stop thinking of that release. That moment when the severity of his job, his nightmares, his fears, when it all just faded away, and he was left in a lethargic haze. People noticed. They always noticed. It was the one thing Reid hated about his job. They could all read him.
The one person he would have confided in, though, was nowhere to be found. That, in itself, would have been enough for him to give in. He knew just where to find it. Money wasn't the issue.
He even drove down the streets, preparing to go buy it, but something stopped him. Instead of turning left, he turned the opposite direction. He sat in the driveway for a long time, just fighting flashbacks and cravings. Gripping the steering wheel and trying to breathe.
There was a tap on the window of his car and he jumped. He put the window down and waited.
"Spencer. Are you alright?"
JJ stood there, the moonlight lighting up her hair, and waited.
He could lie. He wanted to. He would have. But it was JJ. He knew he could trust her.
"No... No, I'm not alright."
Patiently, JJ waited. She was crouched in front of the car window, her arms folded, chin resting on them. Then, she simply offered her hand, and nodded.
Carefully, he took it. Tentatively, he squeezed.
"You can do this," she said softly, knowing where he was in his head. Exactly where he was. She had nightmares of her own, where dogs attacked and ripped her to pieces. Where Tobias took her instead. Where Reid was killed instead of let go.
"It feels like I'm suffocating..." he confessed, his voice low and a little raspy. He stared straight ahead.
"Take a breath. We'll get through this. You're not by yourself. I won't leave you alone," she promised. Gently, she turned his face toward hers, holding it between her hands.
Reid dragged in a breath, hating the helpless feeling this gave him. For a second, he contemplated taking off. Just leaving JJ behind and going to find someone who could really fix this. But she held his gaze, and wouldn't let him look away.
"You can do whatever you want, okay? The choice is up to you. But right now, if you go down this road...you'll lose everything and everyone you care about."
"I know..." he managed. He could see his breath. It didn't often get cold enough in Virginia for that.
JJ was right, and he knew it. But that didn't take away the feelings he was having. The horrible memories of his time in captivity. Only one thing could take those away.
"Will you come somewhere with me?" he asked. "I need to go, but I can't trust that I'll show up there, if I go myself."
JJ nodded. Without a word, she got in the driver's side of his car, as Spencer moved to the passenger seat.
She turned the key, and offered her hand. "Squeeze as hard as it hurts," she said, and meant it, as they pulled out into the night.