On The Edge: Chapter 9
When Tyler came to pick up him and Kaleb for church, Jesse was ready. He moved the car seat himself and figured out how to strap it in Tyler’s car, which was pretty hard.
“Hey, thanks, Jesse,” Tyler said, holding Kaleb in her arms.
Before Jesse knew it, he had been urged into the car, and Tyler was checking the job he’d done on the car seat.
“I know what I’m doing,” Jesse insisted. “I’m not some dumb kid.”
“Annen I gonna have a flag, an’ wave it. An’ sing a song with Mama an’ Daddy,” Kaleb babbled cheerfully to himself.
“Never said you were,” Tyler grunted, getting Kaleb set. “It’s always a good idea to have more than one person make sure a car seat’s in right.”
“Oh,” Jesse said, and nodded. He guessed that made sense.
“Jesse, you gonna sing? An’ Mama an’ Daddy an’ Ty?” Kaleb asked.
“They’re not back,” Jesse said plainly and Tyler gave him a serious look. “…yet,” he added. “They’re running kinda late.”
Jesse bit his lip as Tyler started to drive, singing this totally lame song about how Jesse and Kaleb and Tyler were going to church. He would have rather heard the radio, but she wouldn’t turn it on.
“Please, can’t we hear the radio,” Jesse begged. “I’m not being mean, but that’s a lot better than your voice.” Moments like this, he really missed Kris. He had the best voice Jesse knew of, and he could sing a song about something lame and make it not lame at all.
Tyler gave him an amused glance and kept on singing. There was no way she was turning on the radio to risk them hearing a report on the violence done to their parents. The news had already broken, and Tyler had heard reports on the way over. It was breaking news, even though it had happened nearly twelve hours before.
“Oh…we forgot the stroller,” Tyler announced mid-song.
“I okay, Ty! I not need it!” Kaleb chirped happily.
“I’ll carry him. It’s my fault. I forgot it,” Jesse said quietly. He brought his head back against the seat, but no one said anything. He guessed it wasn’t very self-destructive if he hit against something soft. Jesse had been so focused on getting the car seat in, he totally forgot the stroller.
“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Tyler said, busily unfastening Kaleb from his seat. She took Kaleb in her arms and waited for Jesse to climb out.
“Okay, I got him,” Jesse insisted, after he had shut the car door. He looked at Tyler impatiently. “I got Kaleb.”
“This is a parking lot. You can hold him once we get settled in church. Now hold my hand,” she insisted, having squatted down at his level.
“Nine-year-olds don’t have to hold anybody’s hand,” Jesse told her. He was really sure about this one.
But Tyler stayed put. “We’re not moving unless we move together.”
Jesse thought about running. That’s what he did one time in a parking lot. But that was at somewhere he didn’t want to go. And he loved church. So reluctantly, he held Tyler’s hand, and pulled it away the minute they were on the sidewalk.
Inside church, Jesse rushed to find a spot so he could take care of Kaleb, and then, they did worship together, and Tyler stayed close, which bothered Jesse but at least she wasn’t sitting two inches away.
When they prayed for stuff and took testimonies of stuff God did, Jesse got kind of mad. One lady got out of her apartment when there was a fire. A boy about Jesse’s age had got better after being really sick in the hospital. But where was God when Jesse was getting hurt and neglected every day? Where was God when Adam got burned? Where was He when Kris and Katy needed Him to protect them?
Jesse leaned back, and closed his eyes, wishing he understood stuff better, while Kaleb bounced up and down on his lap and called out “Amen” and clapped.
--
“Hey. How was church?” Adam asked.
“It sucked,” Jesse grumbled.
They hadn’t let him go be with the two-year-olds during Sunday school, to be sure Kaleb was taken care of the right way. Plus they went through the McDonald’s drive thru, and that reminded Jesse of his biological mom. Because on visits, she always got a Big Mac, and never shared. He had eaten all his cheeseburger and fries way too fast and now he felt like throwing up.
Adam closed his eyes. He couldn’t deal with whining kids right now. It was a small miracle that Kaleb was asleep when Tyler dropped them off, but he still had Jesse.
He hadn’t been able to call Allison. He hadn’t been able to do anything, because a migraine had come literally out of nowhere, and he had spent most of the two hours they were at church on the couch. He found it hard to breathe as flashbacks gripped him.
Adam was in the smoke-filled room with fire roaring around him and a baby screaming in his arms. The heat was intense and Adam’s hand and neck were in excruciating pain. But Kris was right outside the window, asking if anyone was in there. Kris was cooling off their burns.
But then, he wasn’t. Adam was alone, collapsed outside the window, with the baby, choking on smoke and feeling like he was dying. Kris was nowhere, and the camera crew zoomed in for a close-up.
Adam shook his head, and regretted it instantly. He tried to breathe.
“Hey, are you okay?” Jesse asked, concerned. Kaleb didn’t need watching right now, but Adam obviously did. He was kind of a weird color and kept drifting off and thinking about something that freaked him out. He looked in pain.
“I’ll be fine. I just have a bad headache,” Adam said, trying to sit up. “Oh, shit,” he whimpered and eased back down.
“Here,” Jesse offered, and ran to the kitchen to open the medicine cabinet. He shook out three Tylenol because Adam was a lot bigger than Kris, and Kris only took two.
He dropped the pills into Adam’s hand and then went to his room to make a call in private.
--
Kris and Katy had a land line, but Jesse didn’t use it. He sneaked Adam’s phone on purpose. He figured Allison was more likely to answer if she thought Adam was calling than Kris and Katy’s home number. This was pretty much an emergency, since Kris and Katy weren’t coming back yet, and Adam couldn’t take care of him. So, he called Allison and waited.
“Hey, this is Alli. I can’t take your call right now, but leave your name and number, and I’ll call you back.”
There was a beep, and Jesse spoke. “Jesse Riley?” he said like it was a question. “I’m calling from Adam’s phone but I don’t know his number. Um, our house number is…” Jesse recited it from memory. “Please call as soon as you can. It’s kind of an emergency.”
Next, he tried to figure out how to send Allison a text message, but Adam’s phone was too confusing. Jesse’s stomach was cramping, but he was trying to stay calm. Getting sick would just make things worse. He tried to think about other people he could call to make Allison call him back. He thought about his Grandma Kim and Grandpa Neil, but they wouldn’t work. Grandpa Neil was in the hospital for his kidney rock thing and Grandma Kim was probably with Kris, because that’s what good moms did.
Daniel? No, he just got all his teeth pulled. Adam’s brother, Neil? Jesse wasn’t even sure if he knew Allison or not.
All of a sudden, Adam’s phone vibrated and scared the crap out of Jesse. He stared at the screen.
Joan.
Joan was somebody that he didn’t really know that well, but she sent a funny birthday card and a really cool olive colored shirt and brown and mustard-yellow shorts that made it very easy for him to camouflage himself when he didn’t want to be found. That's because it blended right in with his skin. He could hide really good by the plants and pretend that no one could see him. Plus, she was somebody Kris, Katy and Adam called if they had a really hard question, or needed some “butt-kicking” as Kris called it. She was there on the big trip to Costa Rica when Kaleb was just born, and helped out Kris and Adam a lot. He heard all the stories.
Jesse didn’t hesitate. He picked up the call.
“Hey, Miss Joan?”
“Hello? Now, this doesn’t sound like Adam. Who am I speaking to?” Jesse smiled. Her voice sounded just like he thought it would. And it matched her face that he saw in pictures.
“No, ma’am. It’s Jesse. I’m Kris and Katy’s son,” he said it proudly. “You know, Adam has a bad headache and he doesn’t look like he can really move. Anyway, I took his phone, but not to steal it! I just wanted to call Allison and ask her to come over, ‘cause do you know what happened to my parents?”
Joan bit her lip sadly. “Yes, I do. I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah. And, anyway? Can you make Allison answer her phone. ‘Cause there’s gotta be an adult in charge, and Adam’s doing a good job, but he just can’t take care of us right now ‘cause he doesn’t feel good. It’s not his fault. So, you don’t have to call the caseworker or anything. I just need somebody to be in charge of me and Kaleb, too. Because I don’t want to be taken away from this house.” Jesse paused to take a breath. “And, oh yeah, thank you for the birthday present.”
“You’re welcome. Okay, well you hang tight. I’m going to get Allison on the phone, okay? You were smart to try to get someone else there.”
Jesse nodded, even though Miss Joan couldn’t see it. He waited while she did some stuff, trying to take deep breaths like Katy taught him, to calm down. He was starting to get a little hyper.
“Okay, I’ve got Allison. I’m going to hang up with you and then you’ll be on the phone with her.”
“Okay, thank you, ma’am.” Jesse said, trying to be all respectful like he was taught.
“You’re welcome. You can always call me if something comes up, or you need to talk to a grown up. I’ll always be here. And I’m glad you like the clothes. I hope they fit you.”
“They do. They’re just right.”
--
“Jesse? What’s up, bud?” Allison asked. It figured that he would call the day she had studio stuff going on. But she wanted to be as available as possible, especially after the last time when he kind of freaked out.
He took a deep breath. It was hard not to let his emotions get in the way when he talked to Allison. She sounded so caring and stuff. “I need you to come over?” he made it like a question, because what if she couldn’t?
“What’s going on?” Allison asked, a finger in her ear to block out the traffic outside the studio.
“Kris and Katy got assaulted in Arkansas and now Adam’s feeling a lot of stress about it. He’s lying on the couch and his head hurts. So he can’t take care of us, and we need somebody to, you know, ‘cause it’s the law.”
“Hold on, Kris and Katy were what?” Allison felt her heart stutter in her chest. Blood rushed in her ears. Jesse couldn’t have said what she thought he did.
“Kris stopped to help some people on the side of the road who were stuck. But I guess they just wanted to beat him up or something. And then Katy got out of the car and she got punched out by one of them. So they’re stuck in Arkansas for extra time.”
“I’m a half-hour away, but I’m coming, okay?” Allison promised. “Can you sit tight until then? Build Legos or something until I get there?”
“I haven’t started the pirate ship yet,” Jesse offered gently, because Allison had tears in her voice. “I’ll see how far I can get by the time you come. And Kaleb’s sleeping, so he’s okay.”
“Okay. Good boy,” Allison managed. “I love you. I’ll be there soon.”
--
Kris wasn’t sure where he was. He knew it was the hospital, but he hadn’t remembered getting inside some big scan machine. It felt like outer space and it was so claustrophobic he wanted to fight his way out, but it was such a tight fit, he couldn’t move.
Not that he wanted to. Every inch of his body was in agony.
He couldn’t think, so instead, he prayed. For his wife and his sons. For their safety and for peace of mind for himself. So that every time he closed his eyes, the sounds, sights and smells weren’t there to greet him.
In his medicated haze, Kris felt realization jar him. This must have been what it was like for Adam. Kris couldn’t imagine telling him to just get past it, and hoped he hadn’t, but everything was fuzzy and painful.
Down the hall, Katy was not in the mood to answer all the questions the doctor was asking. She wanted answers to her own questions, but no one was giving them to her.
“Who’s the president?” a voice asked, probing her face and making her wince.
“Where’s my husband?” Katy asked, though asking anything hurt because her jaw was swollen.
“Do you know where you are?”
Katy strained away from the hand exploring her face. “Where are my kids? What happened?”
“What’s your name?” the voice insisted.
“Bite me.”
“Honey, it’s okay.”
Katy heard her mom’s voice and grasped her hand tightly. “Why won’t they tell me anything?”
“Answer his questions, please.”
“Obama, the hospital, Katy Allen. Now where is my family? What the hell happened to us?” she demanded, clutching the hospital sheets in her hands.
“You and Kris were attacked last night. The boys are at home, safe, with Adam. Don’t worry about them.” her mom reassured.
In a flash, Katy remembered. She was on the phone with 911, peeking out the window and seeing just what was being done to Kris.
Grief stole over her so quickly that Katy didn’t have time to think. All of a sudden, she was sobbing, and fighting off her mother, who did her best to give comfort.
“I’m fine!” Katy insisted angrily, though the words were swallowed up in tears. “Where is Kris?”
“He’s just getting tests done. He’ll be back, okay? He’s all right.”
But Katy knew. Kris wasn’t all right. In her mind, he was still moaning and gasping on a dark side-road, and she couldn’t get to him. Just like before.
“God, help us…” she begged.
--
Allison arrived to find Jesse attempting to change Kaleb’s wet diaper. So, she got right to work. She found Adam asleep on the couch and pressed a kiss to Adam’s forehead. Then, she intervened with the diaper situation.
“Can we call and check on them?” Jesse wondered.
“I tried already. They wont let me know anything because I’m not family.” Allison passed on, as she secured the new diaper.
“Like hell,” Jesse cursed. “If you’re not family then who is? That means I can’t call. Can we have Kaleb ask how they are? He’s their kid.”
Allison smiled grimly. “I don’t think they’d give information to a two year old.”
“And-a-half,” Kaleb corrected importantly.
“Or a two-and-a-half-year-old. Sorry. I think the best we can do is wait for somebody to call us, you know?”
“I’m trying really hard to be good right now, but it’s really, really hard. I just want to talk to them.” Jesse could feel himself slowly losing control. The last thing he told Kris was that he didn’t love him or miss him. Now this happened. What if Kris and Katy couldn’t ever come back? What if Kris wanted to stay away because of what Jesse said?
He clenched his fists and made himself walk past the partway done pirate ship, and not kick it apart like he wanted to.
“Jesse?” Allison called, concerned.
“I gotta go on the deck!” Jesse called back louder than he meant to. He stomped though the house and slammed the back door, but he hoped Adam was a hard sleeper and didn’t notice.
Once he was alone, he dumped out all the cans and stomped them as hard as he could, letting out big, loud screams.
Allison held Kaleb and kept an eye on Jesse, through the sliding glass door. She was impressed. But when he stopped stomping on the cans, and fell to his knees in the middle of the mess, she felt her heart break for him. She wanted to go to him, give him a hug, cry with him. But she had Kaleb, and he needed attention, too.
“You cryin’ Alli?” Kaleb asked, touching the tears on her face she hadn’t even realized were there. “You miss Mama an’ Daddy?”
“Yeah,” she nodded.
“I stay with you ‘til they come back,” he promised.
Without another word, Kaleb pressed his wet lips to her cheek, and rested his head on her shoulder.