Name
Title: Name
Fandom: Bleach
Rating: G
Characters: Kira/Shuuhei
Word Count: 477
He has their names carved into the wood right above the spot where he lays his pillow when he sleeps. Aoga. Kanisawa. Stark little letters that scrawl into illegibility where his pen knife slipped when he was carving them, that look so small and insignificant and mean so much.
Kira once catches Hisagi with his head bowed and his fingers tracing them and tries to comfort him, and when Hisagi refuses him, he feels an irrational spike of jealousy, and it bothers him even when he tells himself it is stupid to be jealous of those who aren't even living. After that, Hisagi makes it a point not to look at them. It just makes them that much more noticeable to Kira, of course, and he wants to say something romantic, something that will say Those people are dead but I'm here and I love you without making Hisagi hurt any more than he has already, but Kira and Hisagi aren't romantic; they just are, and every time Kira catches Hisagi not-looking at that space on the wall, he stutters and mumbles and can't meet Hisagi's eyes, and all the things that he wants to say trip together on the tip of his tongue and leave him quiet.
One day they fight, and Kira just thinks - it pops into his mind like a drop of hot oil - I'm not good enough, am I? To take their place? - and then it just spits off his tongue like acid, and Hisagi's fist clenches and his lips tighten, and he stalks out of the room leaving Kira to curse his stupid, stupid mouth.
Hisagi doesn't come back for several hours, and when he does he goes into their bedroom and slides the door closed almost all the way. Kira can hear movement and a scratching noise, but he doesn't mind it until he hears the unmistakable sound of Hisagi sniffling and taking those deep, calming breaths he does when he has nightmares.
He doesn't look up when Kira comes in, he's so busy with what he's doing: back straight, eyes red but determined, pen knife firmly in hand, he's carving something a space above Aoga and Kanisawa's names. Kira knows the symbols even before he reads them: KIRA IZU - and Hisagi puts down his knife before he can finish it and gently grabs the hand that Kira is squeezing his shoulder with.
“Feel it,” Hisagi says, sandwiching Kira's fingers between his hand and the rough wood and moving his hand to trace out the notches. He's smiling, though his eyes are still wet. And then he leans forward and kisses the tips of Izuru's fingers, and moves those and kisses Izuru's name.
And after that, he glances at the names almost every time he walks into the room, and there are no more awkward silences.
Fandom: Bleach
Rating: G
Characters: Kira/Shuuhei
Word Count: 477
He has their names carved into the wood right above the spot where he lays his pillow when he sleeps. Aoga. Kanisawa. Stark little letters that scrawl into illegibility where his pen knife slipped when he was carving them, that look so small and insignificant and mean so much.
Kira once catches Hisagi with his head bowed and his fingers tracing them and tries to comfort him, and when Hisagi refuses him, he feels an irrational spike of jealousy, and it bothers him even when he tells himself it is stupid to be jealous of those who aren't even living. After that, Hisagi makes it a point not to look at them. It just makes them that much more noticeable to Kira, of course, and he wants to say something romantic, something that will say Those people are dead but I'm here and I love you without making Hisagi hurt any more than he has already, but Kira and Hisagi aren't romantic; they just are, and every time Kira catches Hisagi not-looking at that space on the wall, he stutters and mumbles and can't meet Hisagi's eyes, and all the things that he wants to say trip together on the tip of his tongue and leave him quiet.
One day they fight, and Kira just thinks - it pops into his mind like a drop of hot oil - I'm not good enough, am I? To take their place? - and then it just spits off his tongue like acid, and Hisagi's fist clenches and his lips tighten, and he stalks out of the room leaving Kira to curse his stupid, stupid mouth.
Hisagi doesn't come back for several hours, and when he does he goes into their bedroom and slides the door closed almost all the way. Kira can hear movement and a scratching noise, but he doesn't mind it until he hears the unmistakable sound of Hisagi sniffling and taking those deep, calming breaths he does when he has nightmares.
He doesn't look up when Kira comes in, he's so busy with what he's doing: back straight, eyes red but determined, pen knife firmly in hand, he's carving something a space above Aoga and Kanisawa's names. Kira knows the symbols even before he reads them: KIRA IZU - and Hisagi puts down his knife before he can finish it and gently grabs the hand that Kira is squeezing his shoulder with.
“Feel it,” Hisagi says, sandwiching Kira's fingers between his hand and the rough wood and moving his hand to trace out the notches. He's smiling, though his eyes are still wet. And then he leans forward and kisses the tips of Izuru's fingers, and moves those and kisses Izuru's name.
And after that, he glances at the names almost every time he walks into the room, and there are no more awkward silences.