Dimming Bright
Dimming Bright
The sky was gray. Ishida opened his mouth and closed it again, and the sky was gray.
“Don’t fall asleep,” Renji said, and shook his shoulder.
“Yes,” Ishida said. Renji’s hand was bleeding. Ah, yes, the tendons were cut. That must be very painful, he thought. Was there ever any night in Hueco Mundo? Or was it gray all the time?
“Ishida, don’t fall asleep.” Renji sounded very worried.
“Thank you,” said Ishida, though he wasn’t sure that’s what he wanted to say. And if it rains, he wondered, are there any rainbows? Inoue-san likes rainbows.
“Look, Ishida-kun! It’s the great sky monster!” Inoue’s voice is excited.
“Inoue-san… that’s a rainbow.”
“Yes! Make a wish, Ishida-kun, and maybe it’ll come true.” Inoue’s dress has a long crease on the back from where she ironed it wrong. The pink suits her very well, accenting the color of her cheeks.
“I think you’re thinking of shooting stars, Inoue-san.”
Her face when she turns has a sparkle. Magic, except he doesn’t believe in magic. She looks - wholesome.
“But you can do it on rainbows too, Ishida-kun. And the colors are prettier.” She screws up her mouth. “Like soba noodles.”
“Soba noodles?”
She nods. Smiles happily, having got her point across. Turns to look at the rainbow again, and he can’t see her face any more. Her hair flutters in the wind. He wonders what it smells like. Maybe he could wish for that.
“Ishida. Wake up, Ishida. Wake up.”
Renji was slapping his cheeks. Not very hard. His other arm hung limp at his side. Yes, thought Ishida. Because the tendons were cut. That must have hurt him very much.
“Good.” Renji looked happy. His lips even quirked up. “Don’t go to sleep, Ishida.”
Not happy. Relieved. He had thought Ishida was dead.
“How many of your friends have you watched die?” Ishida asked. But the words didn’t really make a sound.
“What?”
Ishida opened his mouth again, but it didn’t make a sound. Behind Renji, the sky was still gray. No great sky monsters in sight.
“Abarai,” he said. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say next, but he coughed, and the pain from his stomach was excruciating.
He whimpered. Except that Quincy didn’t whimper, so he must not have.
“Oh shit. Oh shit. Fuck.” Renji was pawing at his chin with his good hand. It felt strange. Like getting scratched by a kitten. It felt wet, too.
“What?” Ishida said. The word stuck in his throat, because there was something there.
Liquid. How funny.
“Shit, Ishida.” Renji’s head disappeared from over him. There were sparks, a jump in reiatsu. Kidou? It wasn’t soft, like Unohana’s kidou. Hers was smooth, like freshly-made unbroken pudding. He liked pudding. Vanilla was his favorite flavor. Ryuuken liked pudding too; when Ishida was three, his mother had made them a giant bowl of pudding, and Ryuuken had come down from his office and stolen some from Ishida’s cup.
“Fuck!”
Ryuuken had laughed when Ishida glared at him. How nice.
“Ishida, wake up. Wake up. Wake up.”
Renji was leaning over him again. Both his arms were moving. His left was burned spectacularly. Had Szayel burned them?
Oh, it smelled of kidou. But Renji was bad at-
Renji grabbed him and rolled him onto his side. It hurt. It really hurt. Ishida squeezed his eyes shut. It hurt even more when Renji slapped his back, hard with one hand while the other on his midriff kept him stable. It hurt so much. Ishida clawed at the ground and scrunched up his nose.
His fingers left furrows in the sand.
The blood from his mouth pooled around his face. It felt cold, but it was such a pretty red. The brightest thing he’d seen since he’d set foot in Hueco Mundo.
The pain didn’t go away when he stopped coughing, but he started breathing again. He hadn’t noticed he had stopped.
“Abarai?”
Renji’s hand disappeared from his midriff. It was cold. Ishida realized he was shaking. Sweating. His stomach ached.
“We’re gonna get out of this. Kick Kurosaki’s ass.”
There was another spike in Renji’s reiatsu, the crackle of badly-performed kidou. Above them both the sky was as dull as ever. Ishida closed his eyes and thought of Inoue. She has chapped lips. Her skirt ripples when she runs to Tatsuki, big and wide and light. Sometimes when she flings out her hands and the sun hits them, the light catches the gloss of the clear fingernail polish she uses, and it sparkles like dozens of little diamonds burning on the ends of her fingers.
“-find Unohana, get you fixed up. While Mayuri and that pink-haired fucker are - doing whatever they’re doing.” The kidou cracked, and Renji yelped.
Inoue probably likes pudding too. Though she probably adds strange things to it. Like olives. Or uses it to dip takinyaki in. No doubt she’d try to steal some of his pudding too. Ishida doesn’t think he’d be angry, though.
“Ishida?”
Renji’s face was above him again, and then he was kneeling slowly in front of Ishida. The backs of his legs were burnt now too.
“I’m gonna get you to Unohana.”
“Inoue-san?”
“We’ll get her once you’re fixed up, kid.”
The look Renji flashed him was one of pity, and determination. He called me kid, Ishida thought. Renji reached around and grabbed his wrist. I wonder how old he is, Ishida’s mind said.
When Renji yanked his wrist and slung Ishida over his back, the pain was excruciating. Ishida grit his teeth. This is nothing, he thought, and Quincy do not break down in front of Shinigami.
He coughed onto Renji’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
“Oh, shit. Fuck.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” Renji started walking faster. He groaned. He didn’t slow down. “Nothing. Unohana’s nearby. I can feel her. That’s all. Shit.”
Renji was a bad liar, but the blood on his shoulder didn’t look as bright as it had before. Renji’s hair didn’t look so much either. So bright, that is. Renji’s hair smells like blood, and dust. Maybe Inoue’s wrong. The rainbow isn’t like magic or a shooting star. Or soba noodles. When he gets back home he’ll have to ask her.
Ishida looked up. The sky was gray. Gray and dimming, dimming. Maybe, Ishida thought, if I close my eyes, when I open them again it’ll be bright.
The sky was gray. Ishida opened his mouth and closed it again, and the sky was gray.
“Don’t fall asleep,” Renji said, and shook his shoulder.
“Yes,” Ishida said. Renji’s hand was bleeding. Ah, yes, the tendons were cut. That must be very painful, he thought. Was there ever any night in Hueco Mundo? Or was it gray all the time?
“Ishida, don’t fall asleep.” Renji sounded very worried.
“Thank you,” said Ishida, though he wasn’t sure that’s what he wanted to say. And if it rains, he wondered, are there any rainbows? Inoue-san likes rainbows.
“Look, Ishida-kun! It’s the great sky monster!” Inoue’s voice is excited.
“Inoue-san… that’s a rainbow.”
“Yes! Make a wish, Ishida-kun, and maybe it’ll come true.” Inoue’s dress has a long crease on the back from where she ironed it wrong. The pink suits her very well, accenting the color of her cheeks.
“I think you’re thinking of shooting stars, Inoue-san.”
Her face when she turns has a sparkle. Magic, except he doesn’t believe in magic. She looks - wholesome.
“But you can do it on rainbows too, Ishida-kun. And the colors are prettier.” She screws up her mouth. “Like soba noodles.”
“Soba noodles?”
She nods. Smiles happily, having got her point across. Turns to look at the rainbow again, and he can’t see her face any more. Her hair flutters in the wind. He wonders what it smells like. Maybe he could wish for that.
“Ishida. Wake up, Ishida. Wake up.”
Renji was slapping his cheeks. Not very hard. His other arm hung limp at his side. Yes, thought Ishida. Because the tendons were cut. That must have hurt him very much.
“Good.” Renji looked happy. His lips even quirked up. “Don’t go to sleep, Ishida.”
Not happy. Relieved. He had thought Ishida was dead.
“How many of your friends have you watched die?” Ishida asked. But the words didn’t really make a sound.
“What?”
Ishida opened his mouth again, but it didn’t make a sound. Behind Renji, the sky was still gray. No great sky monsters in sight.
“Abarai,” he said. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say next, but he coughed, and the pain from his stomach was excruciating.
He whimpered. Except that Quincy didn’t whimper, so he must not have.
“Oh shit. Oh shit. Fuck.” Renji was pawing at his chin with his good hand. It felt strange. Like getting scratched by a kitten. It felt wet, too.
“What?” Ishida said. The word stuck in his throat, because there was something there.
Liquid. How funny.
“Shit, Ishida.” Renji’s head disappeared from over him. There were sparks, a jump in reiatsu. Kidou? It wasn’t soft, like Unohana’s kidou. Hers was smooth, like freshly-made unbroken pudding. He liked pudding. Vanilla was his favorite flavor. Ryuuken liked pudding too; when Ishida was three, his mother had made them a giant bowl of pudding, and Ryuuken had come down from his office and stolen some from Ishida’s cup.
“Fuck!”
Ryuuken had laughed when Ishida glared at him. How nice.
“Ishida, wake up. Wake up. Wake up.”
Renji was leaning over him again. Both his arms were moving. His left was burned spectacularly. Had Szayel burned them?
Oh, it smelled of kidou. But Renji was bad at-
Renji grabbed him and rolled him onto his side. It hurt. It really hurt. Ishida squeezed his eyes shut. It hurt even more when Renji slapped his back, hard with one hand while the other on his midriff kept him stable. It hurt so much. Ishida clawed at the ground and scrunched up his nose.
His fingers left furrows in the sand.
The blood from his mouth pooled around his face. It felt cold, but it was such a pretty red. The brightest thing he’d seen since he’d set foot in Hueco Mundo.
The pain didn’t go away when he stopped coughing, but he started breathing again. He hadn’t noticed he had stopped.
“Abarai?”
Renji’s hand disappeared from his midriff. It was cold. Ishida realized he was shaking. Sweating. His stomach ached.
“We’re gonna get out of this. Kick Kurosaki’s ass.”
There was another spike in Renji’s reiatsu, the crackle of badly-performed kidou. Above them both the sky was as dull as ever. Ishida closed his eyes and thought of Inoue. She has chapped lips. Her skirt ripples when she runs to Tatsuki, big and wide and light. Sometimes when she flings out her hands and the sun hits them, the light catches the gloss of the clear fingernail polish she uses, and it sparkles like dozens of little diamonds burning on the ends of her fingers.
“-find Unohana, get you fixed up. While Mayuri and that pink-haired fucker are - doing whatever they’re doing.” The kidou cracked, and Renji yelped.
Inoue probably likes pudding too. Though she probably adds strange things to it. Like olives. Or uses it to dip takinyaki in. No doubt she’d try to steal some of his pudding too. Ishida doesn’t think he’d be angry, though.
“Ishida?”
Renji’s face was above him again, and then he was kneeling slowly in front of Ishida. The backs of his legs were burnt now too.
“I’m gonna get you to Unohana.”
“Inoue-san?”
“We’ll get her once you’re fixed up, kid.”
The look Renji flashed him was one of pity, and determination. He called me kid, Ishida thought. Renji reached around and grabbed his wrist. I wonder how old he is, Ishida’s mind said.
When Renji yanked his wrist and slung Ishida over his back, the pain was excruciating. Ishida grit his teeth. This is nothing, he thought, and Quincy do not break down in front of Shinigami.
He coughed onto Renji’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
“Oh, shit. Fuck.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” Renji started walking faster. He groaned. He didn’t slow down. “Nothing. Unohana’s nearby. I can feel her. That’s all. Shit.”
Renji was a bad liar, but the blood on his shoulder didn’t look as bright as it had before. Renji’s hair didn’t look so much either. So bright, that is. Renji’s hair smells like blood, and dust. Maybe Inoue’s wrong. The rainbow isn’t like magic or a shooting star. Or soba noodles. When he gets back home he’ll have to ask her.
Ishida looked up. The sky was gray. Gray and dimming, dimming. Maybe, Ishida thought, if I close my eyes, when I open them again it’ll be bright.