GUNDAM WING: UGLY LIKE ME
GUNDAM WING: UGLY LIKE ME
Review by: Midnight Mutation
SCORE
CHARACTERIZATION: 3/5
PLOT: 1/5
WRITING: 3/5
OVERBLOWN CLICHES AND USELESS ANACHRONISMS: 5/5
Ah. Gundam Wing. The home of all that is dreadfully wrong with fanfiction today. Seems like the best place to start ripping to shreds many of the conventions that so many people do that make my brain bleed out of my ears. Gundam Wing has had hordes of fangirls since 1997. And here it is, 2001, and lucky us. The fangirls have only gotten sillier, younger, and less educated. Who taught these girls to write?
Let's take this fic for example. It has both good points and bad points. The good points include sense of humor, and use of real action. Amazing, a fight scene in an fanfic based on an action anime! shock shock horror horror! The bad points, well, the narration, the several anachronisms, and the fact that this is a songfic to a Staind song.
Yes. Let's run through that one more time. This is a songfic to Outside, the Staind power ballad that almost puts Every Rose Has It's Thorns to shame. At least it wasn't something from Soundgarden.
Now for the fic itself. Luckily, the author, AstroKender, seems to have a sensible grasp for grammar and the English language. And yes, there is only one word of Japanese in the entire fic. That's a major plus. The fic is also in html format, and is readible in netscape on a monitor set at 800 x 600 resolution. White background, with black text. No garish colours. This is someone with either a middle school education and a decent grasp of layout, or someone with a damn good editor.
Let's tackle the plot next. Wow. Look! It's Gundam Wing cliche #1! Duo and Heero secretly lusting after each other, and only through violence can they resolve their feelings for each other! Wow! How original! I'm so moved by the stunning display of S&M romance here that I think I'll get a gun and shoot myself to prove how much I love this story.
You see, if it weren't bad enough that it's a 1x2 fic, the traditionally most popular pairing in the fandom, the author has to have Heero flirting with Duo by practicing martial arts, Duo getting the shit beat out of him several times, Heero enjoying a COKE, and Duo enjoying monkey wrenches.
Oh hell. I enjoy monkey wrenches. However, unlike the hoards of fangirls, I watched this show for the mechs, not for the pilots. And then about episode 36, I discovered that it sucked! There were better Gundams. Man, the SDF had more cool points that Deathscythe. But I digress.
Back to the plot. It's rather weak. AstroKender seems to feel that Duo's rebellion at the beginning against Heero, accomplished with nice biting sarcastic lines such as "No problems, man. We'll follow what ever you say, like cute little wind up soldiers," substitutes for affection at the end. Or maybe the reader is just supposed to believe that Heero's "soft kiss, not forceful, or demanding, but... understanding" is enough to totally change Doubtful Duo to Darling Duo. Oh yeah, that must have been one hell of a kiss. It's not even a passionate kiss, it's soft. Yep, that's Gundam Wing cliche #2: soft kisses are equal to soul mates, especially when the people exchanging them are Heero and Duo. Duo's change from detesting Heero so well at the beginning - and yes, I actually began liking the fic - to his hopelessly lost in love characterization at the end is not held up by the plot. And since that change, the romance, is the driving thrust of the action, well, we can just assume that this fanfic might have worked better as a smut fest.
Then we have the characters. I did like Duo at the beginning. He was just the right combination of rebellion, smug, sass, sarcasm, and self-confidence that I was grinning at the beginning of the fic. However, his characterization fails quickly. Because the fic is told from the first person perspective, that combination becomes grating. A perspective shift is advised, if only because no one ever thinks to themself "I am so angry I am shaking."
And on that note, no one EVER "feels themselves blush red as a tomato." You can't SEE your own cheeks. Your cheeks might "feel hot," but you will never ever ever think in a description like that.
This fanfic gets points for avoiding that particular faux pas, at least.
Then we have Heero. Oh dear God. Has this writer ever SEEN the TV series? Or did they just enjoy all those damn videoclips so much that they wrote based on those other fanfics? Yes, Gundam Wing cliche #3 shows up as well: Stony Trowa and MotherHen Quatre make an appearence.
And then there's the mention of Tinkerbell, and the fact that Duo and Heero share a Coke. Anachronism galore. You see, in a galaxy far, far away, in the distant future, TINKERBELL WOULD BE FORGOTTEN. Man, people don't even remember Tinkerbell NOW. And the COKE! I honestly wonder how much those two companies paid the author to have that nice piece of product placement. Oh yeah, gotta get me some of that green stuff.
You know, I think, after rereading this fic, I'll forgo the gun, and go straight to the grenade launcher.
Review by: Midnight Mutation
SCORE
CHARACTERIZATION: 3/5
PLOT: 1/5
WRITING: 3/5
OVERBLOWN CLICHES AND USELESS ANACHRONISMS: 5/5
Ah. Gundam Wing. The home of all that is dreadfully wrong with fanfiction today. Seems like the best place to start ripping to shreds many of the conventions that so many people do that make my brain bleed out of my ears. Gundam Wing has had hordes of fangirls since 1997. And here it is, 2001, and lucky us. The fangirls have only gotten sillier, younger, and less educated. Who taught these girls to write?
Let's take this fic for example. It has both good points and bad points. The good points include sense of humor, and use of real action. Amazing, a fight scene in an fanfic based on an action anime! shock shock horror horror! The bad points, well, the narration, the several anachronisms, and the fact that this is a songfic to a Staind song.
Yes. Let's run through that one more time. This is a songfic to Outside, the Staind power ballad that almost puts Every Rose Has It's Thorns to shame. At least it wasn't something from Soundgarden.
Now for the fic itself. Luckily, the author, AstroKender, seems to have a sensible grasp for grammar and the English language. And yes, there is only one word of Japanese in the entire fic. That's a major plus. The fic is also in html format, and is readible in netscape on a monitor set at 800 x 600 resolution. White background, with black text. No garish colours. This is someone with either a middle school education and a decent grasp of layout, or someone with a damn good editor.
Let's tackle the plot next. Wow. Look! It's Gundam Wing cliche #1! Duo and Heero secretly lusting after each other, and only through violence can they resolve their feelings for each other! Wow! How original! I'm so moved by the stunning display of S&M romance here that I think I'll get a gun and shoot myself to prove how much I love this story.
You see, if it weren't bad enough that it's a 1x2 fic, the traditionally most popular pairing in the fandom, the author has to have Heero flirting with Duo by practicing martial arts, Duo getting the shit beat out of him several times, Heero enjoying a COKE, and Duo enjoying monkey wrenches.
Oh hell. I enjoy monkey wrenches. However, unlike the hoards of fangirls, I watched this show for the mechs, not for the pilots. And then about episode 36, I discovered that it sucked! There were better Gundams. Man, the SDF had more cool points that Deathscythe. But I digress.
Back to the plot. It's rather weak. AstroKender seems to feel that Duo's rebellion at the beginning against Heero, accomplished with nice biting sarcastic lines such as "No problems, man. We'll follow what ever you say, like cute little wind up soldiers," substitutes for affection at the end. Or maybe the reader is just supposed to believe that Heero's "soft kiss, not forceful, or demanding, but... understanding" is enough to totally change Doubtful Duo to Darling Duo. Oh yeah, that must have been one hell of a kiss. It's not even a passionate kiss, it's soft. Yep, that's Gundam Wing cliche #2: soft kisses are equal to soul mates, especially when the people exchanging them are Heero and Duo. Duo's change from detesting Heero so well at the beginning - and yes, I actually began liking the fic - to his hopelessly lost in love characterization at the end is not held up by the plot. And since that change, the romance, is the driving thrust of the action, well, we can just assume that this fanfic might have worked better as a smut fest.
Then we have the characters. I did like Duo at the beginning. He was just the right combination of rebellion, smug, sass, sarcasm, and self-confidence that I was grinning at the beginning of the fic. However, his characterization fails quickly. Because the fic is told from the first person perspective, that combination becomes grating. A perspective shift is advised, if only because no one ever thinks to themself "I am so angry I am shaking."
And on that note, no one EVER "feels themselves blush red as a tomato." You can't SEE your own cheeks. Your cheeks might "feel hot," but you will never ever ever think in a description like that.
This fanfic gets points for avoiding that particular faux pas, at least.
Then we have Heero. Oh dear God. Has this writer ever SEEN the TV series? Or did they just enjoy all those damn videoclips so much that they wrote based on those other fanfics? Yes, Gundam Wing cliche #3 shows up as well: Stony Trowa and MotherHen Quatre make an appearence.
And then there's the mention of Tinkerbell, and the fact that Duo and Heero share a Coke. Anachronism galore. You see, in a galaxy far, far away, in the distant future, TINKERBELL WOULD BE FORGOTTEN. Man, people don't even remember Tinkerbell NOW. And the COKE! I honestly wonder how much those two companies paid the author to have that nice piece of product placement. Oh yeah, gotta get me some of that green stuff.
You know, I think, after rereading this fic, I'll forgo the gun, and go straight to the grenade launcher.