CARD CAPTOR SAKURA :: I See Dead People

[ficbitches]

CARD CAPTOR SAKURA :: I See Dead People
Review by: Leather Daddy
SCORE
CHARACTERIZATION: 1/5 (Well, Fujitaka wasn't turned into a psychotic axe murderer, just a creepy loner. And Yue's hair ought to sue for defamation of character, the way it violates things in this fic.)
PLOT: 0/5
WRITING: 1/5
DANGER OF PASSING OUT FROM LACK OF AIR BEFORE REACHING

Comments

strunk and white: rule 17!

[rheymoon]

I stumbled upon this community entirely by accident, and, after laughing my way through a number of reviews, I decided that I liked this one in particular. One of my (numerous) pet peeves when reading or proofreading is excessive verbosity, and when it becomes chronic, it goes from mildly irritating to downright obnoxious (in fics like this, though, it leaks over into the realm of Bizarre and Hilarious. imo, anyway). Anyway, I just wanted to say that I liked it. Thanks. :)

[anonymous]

The groupies must have been trying to cover up the fact that they couldn't understand a word of what was going on. You can tell by the way their vocabulary is much smaller than the author's. And more badly spelled.

[anonymous]

It sounds like SOMEONE is trying to defend themselves.

[pingpong_abyss]

I think it's less that the author has a big vocabulary and more that she was masturbating with a thesaurus with one hand and writing the story with the other.

People who have big vocabularies usually learn all them big words from reading, and thus know how to use them. Then there are these types...

[chienne_foutue]

This reeks of postmodernism: it's really about nothing and takes 500 pages to get that across to you.

[diseaseofennui]

Moonlight as silvery and bright as if the ivory orb had suddenly acquired the intensity of a midnight sun broke through the window in daring intrusion, fireflying through his short hazel hair and refracting itself willingly through the clear crystal of his glasses in an almost blinding way, making it even impossible for both his sight and mind to focus in the vital work of correcting the tests he was supposed to handle to his agonizing students tomorrow morning.

Huh wha?!

Is "fireflying" even a word?

And the moonlight purposely blinded him so he couldn't grade his agonizing students' tests?

*scratches head*

Oooookay...

This post was hilarious.

[diseaseofennui]

His students were agonizing? Oh, the tests wre agonizing!

What have they done to you, my language?

[chainey_clink]

THAT'S ONE SENTENCE, PEOPLE! ...at least there are commas.

"Come along, sweetheart. Daddy's not angry..." You mean he ISN'T a pedophile? Um. Wow.

The small head was shaking beneath his tender fatherly touch... That does not make me think of a fatherly touch, but okay.