My mom just told me to go buy a damned new laptop, already, "because [you've] been in such a funk lately, you need something to make you happy."
1) While half of my reasoning in not buying another one of the most ridiculous First World Problems ever...she's one of the driving forces behind that problem. (And the other half is the Dread Aunt having dodged responsibility so expertly for the past two years that I'm almost convinced she could sue me and win, because the woman is obviously working voodoo.)
2) ....holy shit, it's been that obvious?
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