Unkiss Me
Title: Unkiss Me
Dislcaimer: Yeah, I asked for them for Christmas but Santa Claus didn’t deliver, so sadly I still don’t own.
Rated: T. Some minor language
Summary: Josh “accidentally” kisses Drake… One week later.
--
Unkiss Me
Josh stood behind the counter at The Premiere watching Drake shove his tongue down yet another girls throat. Point taken, he thought, and then some okay. He wanted him to stop. He’s always seen his brother kiss people, but now, now its different.
There has been so many since last week. More than usual even. Josh got it. Drake was making sure he got it. Right, stepbrother doesn’t want to be kissed, permanently embedded is his brain now, so why keep torturing.
Last week… Last week when Josh thought he heard the earth shatter, instead of shattering because all was right, he heard it because his world came crashing down around him all in the name of kissing Drake.
He didn’t mean to do it, honest he didn’t. It’s just he was there, Drake was there, there was music playing, maybe even fireworks above his head or something even though Josh was sure those were made up, but the point was he didn’t mean to.
He would never try to hurt Drake like that or at all. He loved Drake, and that stupid love got all twisted inside and for whatever reason it seemed that there was a magnetic force in the room that drew his mouth to his brothers.
So as he was thinking, reliving the events or event rather that made his world crash down and made his paradise turn into a form of hell... They were both just there, in their room like they always were and Drake, yes Drake the one person in the world that makes Josh question everything he ever thought to be right, the one that makes him do things he normally wouldn’t do, the one who helps him loosen up when he gets too serious, the one that he dreams about, fantasizes about, thinks about all the time, the one that is the son of the woman his dad is married to… in other words, the one who is off limits, oh and can we also say a guy. Yeah, that should be at the top of the list.
He tried not to gravitate toward him, really he did, he thought. Drake was just there, he’s always just there and always so, well, Drake, which to him was a word he thought that needed its own definition in a dictionary. But as luck would have it, and Josh not have it, he stood close to Drake, Drake looking up at him, him looking down at Drake and it just happened, no thinking, no nothing, just closing…distance between them, eyes closing, lips touching. So it could have ended there, but no, it couldn’t have because this was Josh’s life and everything was complicated. He thinks that maybe somehow he is like Harry Potter or someone great because everything that could happen to a person happens to him. He prays that one day he’ll find out what his purpose is, his destiny, that one thing that explains why things go so wrong, but for now…
Yes, it could have ended there but there was no thinking, and apparently, Josh thought as he relived the event in his mind, when Drake is kissed his mouth opens as an automatic response, or something… perhaps, Josh thinks, except then because he couldn’t think. He didn’t think as he kissed Drake and then Drake parted those beautiful, kissable lips and Josh not thinking, decided to take advantage of the situation while he was in it because he couldn’t think properly, and let his tongue explore the forbidden territory known as Drake’s mouth and Drake was kissing him too, and he couldn’t think. He left his body he thinks even, maybe, and then he figured it was because it was an automatic response with Drake, but he heard it. And he felt it, all through his body, and his mind, and his soul and… he heard Drake moan into their kiss.
That would have been okay if Drake hadn’t then shoved Josh off of him, and looked up at him practically horrified, and then ran out of the room. It was an accident, or just incident perhaps, because a kiss that felt like that surely couldn’t be an accident could it?
He didn’t mean to turn Drake into more of a manwhore than he already was but he understood. He had to prove his point of “look we’re guys and don’t kiss me again okay, because I don’t want you to kiss me. I’m so not into kissing guys, and definitely not you, so I have to kiss these girls to prove it to you because we haven’t talked since that day”. Josh got that message loud and clear.
--
God, Drake thought, how could this have happened? Why did this happen? He couldn’t even ask Josh why because he couldn’t even talk to him but is there even an answer. Josh didn’t try to do anything else, he just kissed him so it isn’t like he was afraid of Josh… he was afraid of those words that Josh would say if they did talk “I’m sorry Drake”. That’s what he would say. He didn’t want Josh to apologize because Josh didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s not like he really thought about Josh before that kiss, so maybe a little, but nothing major. He figured everybody had thoughts “like that” at one point in their life and just never talked about it because they didn’t matter and they were personal.
He had to kiss these girls, he had to try, he had to try. He had to find one. Surely one of them had that power. Surely one of them could drive Josh’s kiss from his mind and make his body react the same way. He had to find her. She had to be there somewhere.
He thought he was probably falling apart a little but he couldn’t do anything else. He had to do this. This was the only thing he could do. Kiss. He could kiss. Yes, kiss Josh, one time and it was enough to make him go on a kissing spree, because as he said, she had to be out there.
The girls didn’t question him, none of them did. Drake had a reputation and people, uh well girls, liked and wanted him to kiss them. He was just doing a public service he tried to convince himself.
He knew Josh was watching tonight, but he had to do this. Josh would understand. Josh would understand because Josh was involved in the kiss too… not like him though, Drake thought.
No, Josh wasn’t the one who begged for the kiss to deepen and Josh wasn’t the one who’s brain disappeared and body reacted and involuntarily moaned because, oh my God who knew. Who knew a kiss could be like that?
Talk about freaked out. Being lost in a kiss is one thing, a good thing, but then when you hear yourself actually moan from far away like a girl or something, while the kiss is with your stepbrother, yeah, that brings you back to reality real quick.
So then you do the only thing you can think of and that is to act like a bigger girl and run the hell away, and into the bathroom where you proceed to stay in there for about an hour going over the kiss and looking at your lips and inspecting your mouth like you just contracted mono or herpes or something as equally devastating. No, he didn’t think Josh actually had any disease or anything. All he had was power. Power that you didn’t know existed, power so strong that you couldn’t remember any kiss from any girl, except your first kiss in kindergarten but that was because she bit you afterwards and ran off… and that was just kissing your cheek, but still, the point was, damn!
He couldn’t remember them, so he had to try to create more memories, new memories. Memories to forget what Josh had done, and not kissed him. No that wasn’t bad. What Josh did to him was so much worse than kissing… making him react the way he did, yeah that was bad. Who the hell did Josh think he was kissing like that, making him think thoughts in his head while they were kissing, making him want him the way he wanted him, while he was kissing him, making him make that sound.
So see, he reasoned, he had to kiss those girls. He had to find one with the counter spell to the one that Josh put on him. He couldn’t find her and now he felt defeated.
--
Josh walked in their room after school and saw his clothes on the couch. Not all of them, just one outfit, and Drake sitting next to them.
He walked over there “Drake?”
Drake looked at him. “Please don’t say anything. Just, put these on and come back in here,”
Josh nodded. As crazy as Josh thought it sounded he did it. He had to find out why, so he did.
“What song was playing last week?” Drake asked when Josh walked back in. Josh didn’t respond. “Okay you can talk now but don’t… just don’t talk about anything, okay. What song was playing when, when, well you know when, the thing?”
”Drake I don’t know. You were the one that was listening to it. I didn’t change it,” Josh told him.
“Right, have you changed the CD’s in the stereo?” Josh shook his head. Drake went over to the stereo and looked at the CD’s that were in there. He remembered which one it was and suddenly felt more pathetic but this had to happen.
There they were, just like last week. In the clothes they were wearing, listening to the song that was playing, everything was as it was last week. Drake stood where he was standing when it happened.
“Okay Josh come here,” he said and Josh walked over. “I need you to unkiss me,”
Well that’s one Josh never expected to hear. “What?” he asked.
“Just unkiss me, you know like a reversal. Kiss me like you did last week. We’ll reenact it and then things will be back to normal, so just unkiss me,” Drake said.
Josh thought he might actually pass out but then again he was a little amused that Drake had thought up an unkiss. Only Drake could come up with that, but perhaps it could work. He knew he could go for normal.
He looked down at Drake and Drake looked up at him like he did last week and Josh closed the distance and kissed him. The reenactment was just as amazing. Drake acted as he did last week by parting his lips. The only thing Drake hadn’t been sure of was moaning. He didn’t want to force it because then it wouldn’t work, but he thought thinking about it might make him not do it.
It didn’t matter what he thought though because when Josh kissed him again his brain left him, and again he heard himself. He forced himself to “freak out” like he did last time and leave the room going into the bathroom to assess the damage.
He touched then licked his lips hoping this worked. After his hour was up he left. He needed a girl, or even a few just to see if it worked.
Josh was behind the counter working again watching his stepbrother try to find a conquest. He noticed Drake seemed to be nervous. He saw Drake smile as he found a girl. He talked to her and then he kissed her. He looked at her after the kiss and briefly glanced at Josh. He kissed her again.
Josh couldn’t take it. He decided he was just going to tell Drake that he knows he shouldn’t have kissed him but don’t get so freaked out and kiss every girl he saw because he wouldn’t do it again. Then maybe Drake would act normal again.
He saw Drake look at him again, and not just look but stare, like he was worried or a little scared or something Josh thought. He wasn’t exactly sure. Drake walked out.
When Josh came home Drake was sitting on the couch in their room. He didn’t even look up when he heard the door open. Josh grabbed the pajamas he was going to put on and then left the room to take a shower.
When he walked back in to the room he noticed Drake was in bed so he turned the light off and went to bed too. A few minutes later he felt Drake standing beside his bed.
“I need to talk to you,” Drake said.
“Okay,” Josh said. At least he’s talking.
Drake walked to the other side of the bed and got in, well on, he didn’t get under Josh’s covers just on top of them.
“Why’d you do it?” Drake asked.
That was not the question Josh wanted to answer because he didn’t know. “I don’t know Drake, I really honestly don’t know, but I’m sorry”.
“Are you? I mean really and be honest, are you really sorry?” he asked.
“I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry it freaked you out,” Josh told him honestly like he asked him to be.
“Who are you?” Drake asked. Josh rolled over to face him “Who are you Josh? Who are you to do that?”
God, Josh thought, he really was freaked out about this. “Drake”
“No, I just need to know. I mean I can’t figure it out,” Drake turned to his back and threw his head back and covered his face with his hands.
“It won’t happen again. I won’t do it again, please don’t do this okay,” Josh said.
Drake rolled over and looked at him again “It already has happened. We can’t undo it. We tried and it didn’t work. I tried and it didn’t work Josh. It doesn’t happen with them like it happened with you and I tried. I’ve kissed so many people, girls that is, and it doesn’t happen, it didn’t happen. You kissed me and it happened. I don’t understand why,”
“Maybe that’s your problem,” Josh said.
”What?” he asked.
“You just said you’ve kissed so many people. Well I kissed you. Maybe your problem is you need to stop kissing people and start letting someone kiss you. Most people are selfish. They want what they can get and if they can get you to kiss them that’s all they care about. Maybe you should find someone that wants to give you what you want and need, you know, perhaps,” Josh said thinking that sounded so intelligent. It was true though. And well, Drake wanted him to be honest. He felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest but he was honest.
They were silent for a few minutes both thinking about what happened and what was being said.
Drake actually thought Josh had a point but there were some times that Drake had been kissed and nothing happened the way that it happened last week, or today. As much as he hated to ask this on one hand he really wanted to find out. “Do you want to do it again?”
“I already told you, I won’t do it again. I don’t even know why I did it in the first place. You don’t have to worry. You can always be comfortable around me even when something like this happens okay. You’re safe with me,” Josh smiled at him.
“Okay, but would you? You know if you could?” Drake asked.
Josh didn’t want to answer that honestly because yes, he would do it… and often “Drake, you can’t expect me to answer that question. I mean seriously we’re trying to get past this right?”
“Are we though?” Drake shrugged.
“I don’t know. You’re the one kissing everybody to prove your point of telling me you didn’t like me kissing you and don’t do it again. I get it, I really get it. Loud and clear,” Josh chuckled softly.
“Josh, you seriously think that is what I was trying to do? Give you a message?” he asked.
“Well yeah, it was obvious,” he told him.
Drake laughed and threw his head back again running his hands over his face and then through his hair. He groaned.
“What?” Josh laughed.
“I forgot. You made me forget. You made me, just,” Drake looked at him again “I couldn’t remember. You made me forget about them and I needed someone to make me forget about you, or well your kiss, or well our kiss, and well, I couldn’t do it”. He would have felt like an idiot saying this to anyone else but it was Josh and really this actually wasn’t one of the most abnormal conversations they had ever had, even though it was the first one they had about kissing each other.
“So the unkiss?” Josh asked.
“Was to undo it. Was to make me forget,” he said.
“So did it work?” he asked.
“Did it look like it?” Drake asked.
“You looked kind of terrified tonight actually, to be honest,” Josh said.
“Pretty much was. It didn’t work,” Drake confessed.
“Oh,” Josh whispered “sorry”. Not really though, he thought.
Drake slid under Josh’s covers. His hand found Josh’s outside of the covers. “I’ve been kissed before Josh,” he told him. Josh nodded “you know, you said I should let someone kiss me. I’ve been kissed before. So, who are you? Who are you that you can do that? You know, make me do that?” Drake asked.
“I’m nobody Drake,” Josh shook his head “I’m nobody, just me”
“Yeah, but you, just you are somebody. You’re Josh,” he said. He hated for Josh to call himself nobody. He wasn’t nobody he was everybody, and at that moment he was figuring out that the reason he forgot everybody else was because he had everybody he needed as long as he had Josh.
Josh smiled at him. He smiled back. When they became this to one another he had no idea. It seemed natural though, he thought since they were actually talking about it, or at least not avoiding it. He moved a little closer to Josh.
Josh knew they had just crossed over into a new universe where they were no longer stepbrothers, or just anyway. Drake, close to him grabbing his hand, telling him he had been kissed before but asking who he was to make him do that because apparently just anybody kissing Drake wasn’t enough to make him “do that”.
He wanted to kiss Drake again and really figured Drake wouldn’t mind this time but it was something he couldn’t bring himself to do, not after what happened when he first kissed him. After all, what if Drake just wanted to be close to him for a few minutes. He knew if Drake ever asked him to kiss him he wouldn’t be able to stop kissing him.
“You never answered my question,” Drake said breaking the silence.
“What question?” Josh asked.
“Would you do it again? You said I can’t expect you to answer it but I can, and I’m asking again, would you do it again?” Drake asked.
“Of course I would,” Josh told him.
“Will you?” Drake asked biting his bottom lip for a second.
“Everyday,” Josh answered while he again closed the distance kissing Drake pushing him back on the bed. Drake figured it wasn’t such a girl thing to do because he wasn’t the only one he was hearing. Josh was being just as vocal as he was, which was awesome.
Both of them moved, Josh moving on top of Drake and Drake wiggling and squirming to get under Josh.
“God,” Drake breathed when their kiss finally ended.
“No, just me,” Josh smiled. When Drake pushed his head down to kiss him again Josh realized what his purpose and destiny was. It was kissing Drake, making Drake happy, and loving Drake. He knew that was something he could handle forever if Drake would let him.
--
Dislcaimer: Yeah, I asked for them for Christmas but Santa Claus didn’t deliver, so sadly I still don’t own.
Rated: T. Some minor language
Summary: Josh “accidentally” kisses Drake… One week later.
--
Unkiss Me
Josh stood behind the counter at The Premiere watching Drake shove his tongue down yet another girls throat. Point taken, he thought, and then some okay. He wanted him to stop. He’s always seen his brother kiss people, but now, now its different.
There has been so many since last week. More than usual even. Josh got it. Drake was making sure he got it. Right, stepbrother doesn’t want to be kissed, permanently embedded is his brain now, so why keep torturing.
Last week… Last week when Josh thought he heard the earth shatter, instead of shattering because all was right, he heard it because his world came crashing down around him all in the name of kissing Drake.
He didn’t mean to do it, honest he didn’t. It’s just he was there, Drake was there, there was music playing, maybe even fireworks above his head or something even though Josh was sure those were made up, but the point was he didn’t mean to.
He would never try to hurt Drake like that or at all. He loved Drake, and that stupid love got all twisted inside and for whatever reason it seemed that there was a magnetic force in the room that drew his mouth to his brothers.
So as he was thinking, reliving the events or event rather that made his world crash down and made his paradise turn into a form of hell... They were both just there, in their room like they always were and Drake, yes Drake the one person in the world that makes Josh question everything he ever thought to be right, the one that makes him do things he normally wouldn’t do, the one who helps him loosen up when he gets too serious, the one that he dreams about, fantasizes about, thinks about all the time, the one that is the son of the woman his dad is married to… in other words, the one who is off limits, oh and can we also say a guy. Yeah, that should be at the top of the list.
He tried not to gravitate toward him, really he did, he thought. Drake was just there, he’s always just there and always so, well, Drake, which to him was a word he thought that needed its own definition in a dictionary. But as luck would have it, and Josh not have it, he stood close to Drake, Drake looking up at him, him looking down at Drake and it just happened, no thinking, no nothing, just closing…distance between them, eyes closing, lips touching. So it could have ended there, but no, it couldn’t have because this was Josh’s life and everything was complicated. He thinks that maybe somehow he is like Harry Potter or someone great because everything that could happen to a person happens to him. He prays that one day he’ll find out what his purpose is, his destiny, that one thing that explains why things go so wrong, but for now…
Yes, it could have ended there but there was no thinking, and apparently, Josh thought as he relived the event in his mind, when Drake is kissed his mouth opens as an automatic response, or something… perhaps, Josh thinks, except then because he couldn’t think. He didn’t think as he kissed Drake and then Drake parted those beautiful, kissable lips and Josh not thinking, decided to take advantage of the situation while he was in it because he couldn’t think properly, and let his tongue explore the forbidden territory known as Drake’s mouth and Drake was kissing him too, and he couldn’t think. He left his body he thinks even, maybe, and then he figured it was because it was an automatic response with Drake, but he heard it. And he felt it, all through his body, and his mind, and his soul and… he heard Drake moan into their kiss.
That would have been okay if Drake hadn’t then shoved Josh off of him, and looked up at him practically horrified, and then ran out of the room. It was an accident, or just incident perhaps, because a kiss that felt like that surely couldn’t be an accident could it?
He didn’t mean to turn Drake into more of a manwhore than he already was but he understood. He had to prove his point of “look we’re guys and don’t kiss me again okay, because I don’t want you to kiss me. I’m so not into kissing guys, and definitely not you, so I have to kiss these girls to prove it to you because we haven’t talked since that day”. Josh got that message loud and clear.
--
God, Drake thought, how could this have happened? Why did this happen? He couldn’t even ask Josh why because he couldn’t even talk to him but is there even an answer. Josh didn’t try to do anything else, he just kissed him so it isn’t like he was afraid of Josh… he was afraid of those words that Josh would say if they did talk “I’m sorry Drake”. That’s what he would say. He didn’t want Josh to apologize because Josh didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s not like he really thought about Josh before that kiss, so maybe a little, but nothing major. He figured everybody had thoughts “like that” at one point in their life and just never talked about it because they didn’t matter and they were personal.
He had to kiss these girls, he had to try, he had to try. He had to find one. Surely one of them had that power. Surely one of them could drive Josh’s kiss from his mind and make his body react the same way. He had to find her. She had to be there somewhere.
He thought he was probably falling apart a little but he couldn’t do anything else. He had to do this. This was the only thing he could do. Kiss. He could kiss. Yes, kiss Josh, one time and it was enough to make him go on a kissing spree, because as he said, she had to be out there.
The girls didn’t question him, none of them did. Drake had a reputation and people, uh well girls, liked and wanted him to kiss them. He was just doing a public service he tried to convince himself.
He knew Josh was watching tonight, but he had to do this. Josh would understand. Josh would understand because Josh was involved in the kiss too… not like him though, Drake thought.
No, Josh wasn’t the one who begged for the kiss to deepen and Josh wasn’t the one who’s brain disappeared and body reacted and involuntarily moaned because, oh my God who knew. Who knew a kiss could be like that?
Talk about freaked out. Being lost in a kiss is one thing, a good thing, but then when you hear yourself actually moan from far away like a girl or something, while the kiss is with your stepbrother, yeah, that brings you back to reality real quick.
So then you do the only thing you can think of and that is to act like a bigger girl and run the hell away, and into the bathroom where you proceed to stay in there for about an hour going over the kiss and looking at your lips and inspecting your mouth like you just contracted mono or herpes or something as equally devastating. No, he didn’t think Josh actually had any disease or anything. All he had was power. Power that you didn’t know existed, power so strong that you couldn’t remember any kiss from any girl, except your first kiss in kindergarten but that was because she bit you afterwards and ran off… and that was just kissing your cheek, but still, the point was, damn!
He couldn’t remember them, so he had to try to create more memories, new memories. Memories to forget what Josh had done, and not kissed him. No that wasn’t bad. What Josh did to him was so much worse than kissing… making him react the way he did, yeah that was bad. Who the hell did Josh think he was kissing like that, making him think thoughts in his head while they were kissing, making him want him the way he wanted him, while he was kissing him, making him make that sound.
So see, he reasoned, he had to kiss those girls. He had to find one with the counter spell to the one that Josh put on him. He couldn’t find her and now he felt defeated.
--
Josh walked in their room after school and saw his clothes on the couch. Not all of them, just one outfit, and Drake sitting next to them.
He walked over there “Drake?”
Drake looked at him. “Please don’t say anything. Just, put these on and come back in here,”
Josh nodded. As crazy as Josh thought it sounded he did it. He had to find out why, so he did.
“What song was playing last week?” Drake asked when Josh walked back in. Josh didn’t respond. “Okay you can talk now but don’t… just don’t talk about anything, okay. What song was playing when, when, well you know when, the thing?”
”Drake I don’t know. You were the one that was listening to it. I didn’t change it,” Josh told him.
“Right, have you changed the CD’s in the stereo?” Josh shook his head. Drake went over to the stereo and looked at the CD’s that were in there. He remembered which one it was and suddenly felt more pathetic but this had to happen.
There they were, just like last week. In the clothes they were wearing, listening to the song that was playing, everything was as it was last week. Drake stood where he was standing when it happened.
“Okay Josh come here,” he said and Josh walked over. “I need you to unkiss me,”
Well that’s one Josh never expected to hear. “What?” he asked.
“Just unkiss me, you know like a reversal. Kiss me like you did last week. We’ll reenact it and then things will be back to normal, so just unkiss me,” Drake said.
Josh thought he might actually pass out but then again he was a little amused that Drake had thought up an unkiss. Only Drake could come up with that, but perhaps it could work. He knew he could go for normal.
He looked down at Drake and Drake looked up at him like he did last week and Josh closed the distance and kissed him. The reenactment was just as amazing. Drake acted as he did last week by parting his lips. The only thing Drake hadn’t been sure of was moaning. He didn’t want to force it because then it wouldn’t work, but he thought thinking about it might make him not do it.
It didn’t matter what he thought though because when Josh kissed him again his brain left him, and again he heard himself. He forced himself to “freak out” like he did last time and leave the room going into the bathroom to assess the damage.
He touched then licked his lips hoping this worked. After his hour was up he left. He needed a girl, or even a few just to see if it worked.
Josh was behind the counter working again watching his stepbrother try to find a conquest. He noticed Drake seemed to be nervous. He saw Drake smile as he found a girl. He talked to her and then he kissed her. He looked at her after the kiss and briefly glanced at Josh. He kissed her again.
Josh couldn’t take it. He decided he was just going to tell Drake that he knows he shouldn’t have kissed him but don’t get so freaked out and kiss every girl he saw because he wouldn’t do it again. Then maybe Drake would act normal again.
He saw Drake look at him again, and not just look but stare, like he was worried or a little scared or something Josh thought. He wasn’t exactly sure. Drake walked out.
When Josh came home Drake was sitting on the couch in their room. He didn’t even look up when he heard the door open. Josh grabbed the pajamas he was going to put on and then left the room to take a shower.
When he walked back in to the room he noticed Drake was in bed so he turned the light off and went to bed too. A few minutes later he felt Drake standing beside his bed.
“I need to talk to you,” Drake said.
“Okay,” Josh said. At least he’s talking.
Drake walked to the other side of the bed and got in, well on, he didn’t get under Josh’s covers just on top of them.
“Why’d you do it?” Drake asked.
That was not the question Josh wanted to answer because he didn’t know. “I don’t know Drake, I really honestly don’t know, but I’m sorry”.
“Are you? I mean really and be honest, are you really sorry?” he asked.
“I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry it freaked you out,” Josh told him honestly like he asked him to be.
“Who are you?” Drake asked. Josh rolled over to face him “Who are you Josh? Who are you to do that?”
God, Josh thought, he really was freaked out about this. “Drake”
“No, I just need to know. I mean I can’t figure it out,” Drake turned to his back and threw his head back and covered his face with his hands.
“It won’t happen again. I won’t do it again, please don’t do this okay,” Josh said.
Drake rolled over and looked at him again “It already has happened. We can’t undo it. We tried and it didn’t work. I tried and it didn’t work Josh. It doesn’t happen with them like it happened with you and I tried. I’ve kissed so many people, girls that is, and it doesn’t happen, it didn’t happen. You kissed me and it happened. I don’t understand why,”
“Maybe that’s your problem,” Josh said.
”What?” he asked.
“You just said you’ve kissed so many people. Well I kissed you. Maybe your problem is you need to stop kissing people and start letting someone kiss you. Most people are selfish. They want what they can get and if they can get you to kiss them that’s all they care about. Maybe you should find someone that wants to give you what you want and need, you know, perhaps,” Josh said thinking that sounded so intelligent. It was true though. And well, Drake wanted him to be honest. He felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest but he was honest.
They were silent for a few minutes both thinking about what happened and what was being said.
Drake actually thought Josh had a point but there were some times that Drake had been kissed and nothing happened the way that it happened last week, or today. As much as he hated to ask this on one hand he really wanted to find out. “Do you want to do it again?”
“I already told you, I won’t do it again. I don’t even know why I did it in the first place. You don’t have to worry. You can always be comfortable around me even when something like this happens okay. You’re safe with me,” Josh smiled at him.
“Okay, but would you? You know if you could?” Drake asked.
Josh didn’t want to answer that honestly because yes, he would do it… and often “Drake, you can’t expect me to answer that question. I mean seriously we’re trying to get past this right?”
“Are we though?” Drake shrugged.
“I don’t know. You’re the one kissing everybody to prove your point of telling me you didn’t like me kissing you and don’t do it again. I get it, I really get it. Loud and clear,” Josh chuckled softly.
“Josh, you seriously think that is what I was trying to do? Give you a message?” he asked.
“Well yeah, it was obvious,” he told him.
Drake laughed and threw his head back again running his hands over his face and then through his hair. He groaned.
“What?” Josh laughed.
“I forgot. You made me forget. You made me, just,” Drake looked at him again “I couldn’t remember. You made me forget about them and I needed someone to make me forget about you, or well your kiss, or well our kiss, and well, I couldn’t do it”. He would have felt like an idiot saying this to anyone else but it was Josh and really this actually wasn’t one of the most abnormal conversations they had ever had, even though it was the first one they had about kissing each other.
“So the unkiss?” Josh asked.
“Was to undo it. Was to make me forget,” he said.
“So did it work?” he asked.
“Did it look like it?” Drake asked.
“You looked kind of terrified tonight actually, to be honest,” Josh said.
“Pretty much was. It didn’t work,” Drake confessed.
“Oh,” Josh whispered “sorry”. Not really though, he thought.
Drake slid under Josh’s covers. His hand found Josh’s outside of the covers. “I’ve been kissed before Josh,” he told him. Josh nodded “you know, you said I should let someone kiss me. I’ve been kissed before. So, who are you? Who are you that you can do that? You know, make me do that?” Drake asked.
“I’m nobody Drake,” Josh shook his head “I’m nobody, just me”
“Yeah, but you, just you are somebody. You’re Josh,” he said. He hated for Josh to call himself nobody. He wasn’t nobody he was everybody, and at that moment he was figuring out that the reason he forgot everybody else was because he had everybody he needed as long as he had Josh.
Josh smiled at him. He smiled back. When they became this to one another he had no idea. It seemed natural though, he thought since they were actually talking about it, or at least not avoiding it. He moved a little closer to Josh.
Josh knew they had just crossed over into a new universe where they were no longer stepbrothers, or just anyway. Drake, close to him grabbing his hand, telling him he had been kissed before but asking who he was to make him do that because apparently just anybody kissing Drake wasn’t enough to make him “do that”.
He wanted to kiss Drake again and really figured Drake wouldn’t mind this time but it was something he couldn’t bring himself to do, not after what happened when he first kissed him. After all, what if Drake just wanted to be close to him for a few minutes. He knew if Drake ever asked him to kiss him he wouldn’t be able to stop kissing him.
“You never answered my question,” Drake said breaking the silence.
“What question?” Josh asked.
“Would you do it again? You said I can’t expect you to answer it but I can, and I’m asking again, would you do it again?” Drake asked.
“Of course I would,” Josh told him.
“Will you?” Drake asked biting his bottom lip for a second.
“Everyday,” Josh answered while he again closed the distance kissing Drake pushing him back on the bed. Drake figured it wasn’t such a girl thing to do because he wasn’t the only one he was hearing. Josh was being just as vocal as he was, which was awesome.
Both of them moved, Josh moving on top of Drake and Drake wiggling and squirming to get under Josh.
“God,” Drake breathed when their kiss finally ended.
“No, just me,” Josh smiled. When Drake pushed his head down to kiss him again Josh realized what his purpose and destiny was. It was kissing Drake, making Drake happy, and loving Drake. He knew that was something he could handle forever if Drake would let him.
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