100 Years of Loneliness -1930s
Title - 100 Years Of Loneliness -1930s
Author - fic_type_thing
Pairing - Spencer Smith/Ryan Ross
Rating - PG-13?
Summary - 1930s is known as the depression era in America. Spencer and Ryan are just as much a part of it, and when one is sick in lung disease,
"Spencer? I'm cold."
Disclaimer - A part of my imagination, fake.
Warnings - Character death.
Author's notes - This standalone is a part of a series, or at least will be once I've gotten the rest up. 100 Years Of Loneliness - One fic for each part of the 1900s. Thanks to traumatic_bunny for kicking me until I finish these, and betaing!
1910s
1920s
"Spencer?" Ryan whispers, voice almost echoing, bouncing off of the shadows in this dark room. Spencer doesn't reply at first, but instead waits for Ryan to continue. It's obvious that he wants to say something more, not just make sure of Spencer's existence, seeing as they're curled up together. "I'm cold." His voice is a bit hoarse when he speaks.
Spencer nods quietly, presses a kiss to the side of Ryan's head as he feels the younger shiver. He knows, he knows its cold, but he's trying his very best to change it.
"I know, baby," he whispers, lifting a hand up to the side of Ryan's cheek, tilting both of them so that he'll have access to kiss Ryan's closed eyes. "I know." It is in fact cold in the room, so it's not just Ryan imagining things, right? No, Spencer can definitely sense it's cold, and moves closer to Ryan under the sheets that made it a bit better. Ryan sighs heavily. Well, it's more like a deep breath, in and out, and Spencer hugs Ryan tighter to himself.
"You can't sleep, baby. It's not a good idea to sleep right now," Spencer whispered, and it took a moment for Ryan to react. When he did, his eyes fluttered open again. They probably shouldn't be in the bed like this, when Ryan shouldn't be sleeping, but it's the warmest place in the very small apartment the two share. It's past 3 in the morning, and Ryan is getting tired, which is understandable, but Spencer is worried. So so worried. "Promise you won't go to sleep, Ryan. Promise. We'll go to the doctor as soon as they open, okay? That's my promise. As long as you don't fall asleep right now."
Ryan lets out a quiet, unpleased moan, rolling more onto his side, more against Spencer, as he shivers again. It's the movement that causes the shiver, but at least its a bit warmer than staying even an inch further away from Spencer, who frowns. Both arms wrap tighter around the boy, because they can share body heat. He's a bit warmer than Ryan is, and anything he can do to help, he'll do it.
"Promise me, Ryan," Spencer repeats, giving the other a squeeze as his hand starts rubbing up and down his back. Ryan nods lightly, with his head buried into Spencer's shoulder. It's only 5 hours left. A little less. Except,
"Spencer, we can't afford going to the doctor," he whispers, and Spencer knows Ryan's gonna cough before he actually does. The way those three last words in the sentence, they become a bit airy, though at the same time, hoarse still. Ryan's entire body shakes when he does, shivers with the cold still, and Spencer tries his best to keep Ryan still. He doesn't even consider the possibility of himself getting the same weakness and the same cough as Ryan, but just wants to be there, and make sure his boyfriend doesn't feel alone. The "Us" they have, it's all they've both got. "We can't afford it, I don't think--" Ryan continues, but get cuts off, once he's finished with the coughing.
"No, ssh, Ry, ssh," Spencer whispers, frowns. He knows they will have to scrape up the very last money that they've got to go to the doctor, to get Ryan medicine, to make him not cough so violently. But it's worth it. It's so worth it. Maybe they'll be late on rent again, but their landlord, he's a nice guy, and especially if Ryan is sick, he'll understand. He has to understand. "Don't say that, okay? It's gonna work out, I'm gonna take you to the doctor tomorrow, and he's gonna make you feel better, I promise. Do you promise?"
Ryan hesitates for a moment, hesitation that Spencer doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Ryan has the feeling him not being able to make it, even if they go to the doctor. He doesn't want to leave Spencer with even less money than they've got as it is.
"Okay," he settles on, still quietly, and Spencer lets out a breath he wasn't even aware of that he was holding. "I promise." Spencer smiles lightly, though without really knowing why. After all, nothing has changed by Ryan's promise. Who knows if he'll be able to keep it, stay awake and alive.
A few minutes pass. It's dead quiet in the dark apartment, almost. Except for a car passing by on the street outside, a cockroach running and tapping across the wooden floor, and the endlessly deafening sounds and vibrations of Ryan's weak heart beating in his chest. It's slow, and through all the clothing, Spencer only barely feels it, but it's still there. When Spencer leans down to kiss Ryan, it tastes a little funny, not like it usually does, but the kind of weird taste you have in your mouth when you're sick. That's the reason for Spencer not making it deeper, the reason for him not adding tongue, because of the funny taste. He'll regret it later, not adding the tongue, not making Ryan feel better. Even though it's doubtful the tongue will help.
"Hey, you still awake? We could play a game if you'd like!" Fuck, Spencer is so tired, but he can't let that show. It'll only make Ryan more tired. So games, they could try games. Ryan doesn't seem to thrilled about it though, as he shakes his head weakly, still curled in Spencer's arms.
"I'm too tired, Spence. It's cold, I'm so cold, and--" He shouldn't bury himself in that misery, Spencer figures, and shakes his head firmly for a moment. It isn't much, but enough to cut his boyfriend off. Just so he won't get into a small rant about it.
"Hey, we can just play a game where we don't have to move around. We can-- Oh, you know, if you want," Spencer begins, voice dropping a seductive notch as he leans down, face close to Ryan's. Closer than it should have been to be healthy. He's starting to get desperate. "If you want to, we could, y'know. Get busy." He nearly purrs it out, trying his best to make Ryan interested, even if the chances are slim, seeing as how weak he is right now. It isn't that Spencer specifically just got horny, but he's trying his best, you know? Like expected, Ryan shakes his head though, another weak cough.
"Spencer, no, I'm too tired, really," the weak one replies. His lungs probably wouldn't manage it. Not that Spencer didn't expect it, but still. His face falls into a kinda defeated expression, and when Ryan cracks his eyes open to get a glimpse of his boyfriend, he sees it., as much as Spencer is trying to hide it. “I'm sorry, I just--” He gets cut off by Spence's soft voice.
“No, hey, it's alright, baby,” he whispers, leaning their faces together. The seductive tone is gone as he nuzzles his nose in against Ryan's cheek, squeezing for a moment. Not too tightly though, in fear of breaking something. “Don't worry, baby, it's okay. We can-- Once you get better, we can do it as much as we want. Once you get better, everywhere in the apartment, okay?” His laugh is light, almost a question, but at least it made Ryan smile (Spence was too wrapped up in the fact that the corners of Ryan's lips had turned to realize that there was a sad tone to the smile...)
He takes a deep breath, shifting a little so he can get Ryan's leg in between his own, warm him up a little more. Ryan shivers lightly again with the new position, mostly because it gives some new warmth to a place that had been having to deal with the odd cold in the room. Well, it isn't really that odd. After all, it is that time of year, and that time of the day...
“You know, this summer, there's so much we've got to do, baby,” Spencer says quietly, afraid that if the volume reaches louder, he'll shatter any pretty images Ryan will paint up on the inside of his eyelids. “Remember last summer?” Ryan's smile hasn't reached this width in days, and even so, it isn't exactly a big smile anyway. Doesn't say anything though, but Spencer notices when he leans down, leveling his eyes with his lover's.
“Yeah? With the beach near my parent's farm?” Once again, Ryan nods, keeps his eyes open to latch them into Spencer's. “You know my favorite day from those two weeks was the second Thursday? Remember Thursday?” Their lips are close enough to be brushing when they speak.
Ryan nods, this time speaks.
“The best day of my life,” he whispers hoarsely, and Spencer tries his best to not frown at the way it sounds. Instead, he covers up by tilting his head to press a kiss to each of Ryan's eyelids again.
“So far, you mean,” he corrects. “We're going there this summer, I decided. You wanna go? I think it's a perfect idea, if I get to say so myself. A few days of absolutely nothing. I think we deserve it. Nothing but sex and sleep and swimming, and maybe some food if we have time for it.” Or, you know, money.
“I've been saving up for it, actually. Did I tell you? 'cause I have. And- And we'll go a soon as it gets warm in the water, okay?” Ryan doesn't say anything. Doesn't smile, doesn't nod, just listens even though he doesn't want to anymore.
“We just- We've just gotta make sure you won't be sick, you know?” Spencer almost chokes on the lump in his throat, but swallows quickly to try and get it away. “We just gotta make sure it isn't something permanent or long-term that would, you know, keep us from going. 'cause I think-” Swallows again, also clears his throat to speak easier. Doesn't work all that good, and his voice suddenly sounds unfamiliar and wrong. “I think that my parents really want you to come, you know. I think they'd- They'd really miss you if you didn't.”
At this point, Ryan's eyes are watery and Spencer's just the same. He has to pause to breathe some for a few minutes.
“Ry, one day we're gonna be old together. Not like when you're 35 and have one of those midlife crisis things, but really old. 60 years and counting,” Spencer whispers against Ryan's head, against his greasy, dirty hair. Ryan smiles. It's weak and faint and kinda sad, but still a smile.
“One day, you and me are really gonna grow old, but now, I love you so much, right now.” Ryan doesn't say anything. He's scared that he'll open his mouth and words won't come out. Or maybe he'll say the wrong things. Despite that he loves Spencer more than anything right back.
Spencer yawns and it makes Ryan yawn too. Can't go to sleep yet though. Less than half left (half left and half dead).
Around 6 am, Spencer dozes off. Maybe it's because of Ryan's monotone yet shivering voice when he speaks. He'd spoken quietly about nostalgia and hopeless dreams, and his greatest fears. It was only moments worth of sleeping though, right? A moment of weakness (he hadn't even woken up when Ryan softly whispered “Spencer?...Spence?”), and it couldn't have been more than a minute, right?
Except that Ryan's last breath came 15 minutes ago, as the word “love” was forming on his chapped lips.
Author - fic_type_thing
Pairing - Spencer Smith/Ryan Ross
Rating - PG-13?
Summary - 1930s is known as the depression era in America. Spencer and Ryan are just as much a part of it, and when one is sick in lung disease,
"Spencer? I'm cold."
Disclaimer - A part of my imagination, fake.
Warnings - Character death.
Author's notes - This standalone is a part of a series, or at least will be once I've gotten the rest up. 100 Years Of Loneliness - One fic for each part of the 1900s. Thanks to traumatic_bunny for kicking me until I finish these, and betaing!
1910s
1920s
"Spencer?" Ryan whispers, voice almost echoing, bouncing off of the shadows in this dark room. Spencer doesn't reply at first, but instead waits for Ryan to continue. It's obvious that he wants to say something more, not just make sure of Spencer's existence, seeing as they're curled up together. "I'm cold." His voice is a bit hoarse when he speaks.
Spencer nods quietly, presses a kiss to the side of Ryan's head as he feels the younger shiver. He knows, he knows its cold, but he's trying his very best to change it.
"I know, baby," he whispers, lifting a hand up to the side of Ryan's cheek, tilting both of them so that he'll have access to kiss Ryan's closed eyes. "I know." It is in fact cold in the room, so it's not just Ryan imagining things, right? No, Spencer can definitely sense it's cold, and moves closer to Ryan under the sheets that made it a bit better. Ryan sighs heavily. Well, it's more like a deep breath, in and out, and Spencer hugs Ryan tighter to himself.
"You can't sleep, baby. It's not a good idea to sleep right now," Spencer whispered, and it took a moment for Ryan to react. When he did, his eyes fluttered open again. They probably shouldn't be in the bed like this, when Ryan shouldn't be sleeping, but it's the warmest place in the very small apartment the two share. It's past 3 in the morning, and Ryan is getting tired, which is understandable, but Spencer is worried. So so worried. "Promise you won't go to sleep, Ryan. Promise. We'll go to the doctor as soon as they open, okay? That's my promise. As long as you don't fall asleep right now."
Ryan lets out a quiet, unpleased moan, rolling more onto his side, more against Spencer, as he shivers again. It's the movement that causes the shiver, but at least its a bit warmer than staying even an inch further away from Spencer, who frowns. Both arms wrap tighter around the boy, because they can share body heat. He's a bit warmer than Ryan is, and anything he can do to help, he'll do it.
"Promise me, Ryan," Spencer repeats, giving the other a squeeze as his hand starts rubbing up and down his back. Ryan nods lightly, with his head buried into Spencer's shoulder. It's only 5 hours left. A little less. Except,
"Spencer, we can't afford going to the doctor," he whispers, and Spencer knows Ryan's gonna cough before he actually does. The way those three last words in the sentence, they become a bit airy, though at the same time, hoarse still. Ryan's entire body shakes when he does, shivers with the cold still, and Spencer tries his best to keep Ryan still. He doesn't even consider the possibility of himself getting the same weakness and the same cough as Ryan, but just wants to be there, and make sure his boyfriend doesn't feel alone. The "Us" they have, it's all they've both got. "We can't afford it, I don't think--" Ryan continues, but get cuts off, once he's finished with the coughing.
"No, ssh, Ry, ssh," Spencer whispers, frowns. He knows they will have to scrape up the very last money that they've got to go to the doctor, to get Ryan medicine, to make him not cough so violently. But it's worth it. It's so worth it. Maybe they'll be late on rent again, but their landlord, he's a nice guy, and especially if Ryan is sick, he'll understand. He has to understand. "Don't say that, okay? It's gonna work out, I'm gonna take you to the doctor tomorrow, and he's gonna make you feel better, I promise. Do you promise?"
Ryan hesitates for a moment, hesitation that Spencer doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Ryan has the feeling him not being able to make it, even if they go to the doctor. He doesn't want to leave Spencer with even less money than they've got as it is.
"Okay," he settles on, still quietly, and Spencer lets out a breath he wasn't even aware of that he was holding. "I promise." Spencer smiles lightly, though without really knowing why. After all, nothing has changed by Ryan's promise. Who knows if he'll be able to keep it, stay awake and alive.
A few minutes pass. It's dead quiet in the dark apartment, almost. Except for a car passing by on the street outside, a cockroach running and tapping across the wooden floor, and the endlessly deafening sounds and vibrations of Ryan's weak heart beating in his chest. It's slow, and through all the clothing, Spencer only barely feels it, but it's still there. When Spencer leans down to kiss Ryan, it tastes a little funny, not like it usually does, but the kind of weird taste you have in your mouth when you're sick. That's the reason for Spencer not making it deeper, the reason for him not adding tongue, because of the funny taste. He'll regret it later, not adding the tongue, not making Ryan feel better. Even though it's doubtful the tongue will help.
"Hey, you still awake? We could play a game if you'd like!" Fuck, Spencer is so tired, but he can't let that show. It'll only make Ryan more tired. So games, they could try games. Ryan doesn't seem to thrilled about it though, as he shakes his head weakly, still curled in Spencer's arms.
"I'm too tired, Spence. It's cold, I'm so cold, and--" He shouldn't bury himself in that misery, Spencer figures, and shakes his head firmly for a moment. It isn't much, but enough to cut his boyfriend off. Just so he won't get into a small rant about it.
"Hey, we can just play a game where we don't have to move around. We can-- Oh, you know, if you want," Spencer begins, voice dropping a seductive notch as he leans down, face close to Ryan's. Closer than it should have been to be healthy. He's starting to get desperate. "If you want to, we could, y'know. Get busy." He nearly purrs it out, trying his best to make Ryan interested, even if the chances are slim, seeing as how weak he is right now. It isn't that Spencer specifically just got horny, but he's trying his best, you know? Like expected, Ryan shakes his head though, another weak cough.
"Spencer, no, I'm too tired, really," the weak one replies. His lungs probably wouldn't manage it. Not that Spencer didn't expect it, but still. His face falls into a kinda defeated expression, and when Ryan cracks his eyes open to get a glimpse of his boyfriend, he sees it., as much as Spencer is trying to hide it. “I'm sorry, I just--” He gets cut off by Spence's soft voice.
“No, hey, it's alright, baby,” he whispers, leaning their faces together. The seductive tone is gone as he nuzzles his nose in against Ryan's cheek, squeezing for a moment. Not too tightly though, in fear of breaking something. “Don't worry, baby, it's okay. We can-- Once you get better, we can do it as much as we want. Once you get better, everywhere in the apartment, okay?” His laugh is light, almost a question, but at least it made Ryan smile (Spence was too wrapped up in the fact that the corners of Ryan's lips had turned to realize that there was a sad tone to the smile...)
He takes a deep breath, shifting a little so he can get Ryan's leg in between his own, warm him up a little more. Ryan shivers lightly again with the new position, mostly because it gives some new warmth to a place that had been having to deal with the odd cold in the room. Well, it isn't really that odd. After all, it is that time of year, and that time of the day...
“You know, this summer, there's so much we've got to do, baby,” Spencer says quietly, afraid that if the volume reaches louder, he'll shatter any pretty images Ryan will paint up on the inside of his eyelids. “Remember last summer?” Ryan's smile hasn't reached this width in days, and even so, it isn't exactly a big smile anyway. Doesn't say anything though, but Spencer notices when he leans down, leveling his eyes with his lover's.
“Yeah? With the beach near my parent's farm?” Once again, Ryan nods, keeps his eyes open to latch them into Spencer's. “You know my favorite day from those two weeks was the second Thursday? Remember Thursday?” Their lips are close enough to be brushing when they speak.
Ryan nods, this time speaks.
“The best day of my life,” he whispers hoarsely, and Spencer tries his best to not frown at the way it sounds. Instead, he covers up by tilting his head to press a kiss to each of Ryan's eyelids again.
“So far, you mean,” he corrects. “We're going there this summer, I decided. You wanna go? I think it's a perfect idea, if I get to say so myself. A few days of absolutely nothing. I think we deserve it. Nothing but sex and sleep and swimming, and maybe some food if we have time for it.” Or, you know, money.
“I've been saving up for it, actually. Did I tell you? 'cause I have. And- And we'll go a soon as it gets warm in the water, okay?” Ryan doesn't say anything. Doesn't smile, doesn't nod, just listens even though he doesn't want to anymore.
“We just- We've just gotta make sure you won't be sick, you know?” Spencer almost chokes on the lump in his throat, but swallows quickly to try and get it away. “We just gotta make sure it isn't something permanent or long-term that would, you know, keep us from going. 'cause I think-” Swallows again, also clears his throat to speak easier. Doesn't work all that good, and his voice suddenly sounds unfamiliar and wrong. “I think that my parents really want you to come, you know. I think they'd- They'd really miss you if you didn't.”
At this point, Ryan's eyes are watery and Spencer's just the same. He has to pause to breathe some for a few minutes.
“Ry, one day we're gonna be old together. Not like when you're 35 and have one of those midlife crisis things, but really old. 60 years and counting,” Spencer whispers against Ryan's head, against his greasy, dirty hair. Ryan smiles. It's weak and faint and kinda sad, but still a smile.
“One day, you and me are really gonna grow old, but now, I love you so much, right now.” Ryan doesn't say anything. He's scared that he'll open his mouth and words won't come out. Or maybe he'll say the wrong things. Despite that he loves Spencer more than anything right back.
Spencer yawns and it makes Ryan yawn too. Can't go to sleep yet though. Less than half left (half left and half dead).
Around 6 am, Spencer dozes off. Maybe it's because of Ryan's monotone yet shivering voice when he speaks. He'd spoken quietly about nostalgia and hopeless dreams, and his greatest fears. It was only moments worth of sleeping though, right? A moment of weakness (he hadn't even woken up when Ryan softly whispered “Spencer?...Spence?”), and it couldn't have been more than a minute, right?
Except that Ryan's last breath came 15 minutes ago, as the word “love” was forming on his chapped lips.