FIC FOR KONEHO
For: koneho
From: imifumei
Title: Romance on the Midway on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday
Pairings/Characters: Kame/Koki, and general friendship
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Monster Trucks, dubious wordplay, deep-fried horrors, AU
Notes: koneho, I hope this AU is not too far out there. Thanks to my very helpful and patient beta. Also, everything I know about Monster Truck rallies I am remembering from county fairs I went to over a decade ago.
Summary: This March prepare to get ANNIHILATED as fic_the_faith and Johnny's & Associates proudly present MEGA MONSTER TRUCK RALLY!!! Featuring all your favourite trucks: The Homewrecker! Dark Angel! and The Saint! And don't miss the First Annual Deep Fried Twinkie Cook-Off! Tickets are just 1000 yen! The first hundred people through the gate get a CRUNKY BAR!! Tickets available through Ticketmaster and select Johnny's Shop locations in TOKYO!! This Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!!
The smoke was just clearing from the colorful rainbow of lights and sparks that was the flashy dirt-bike show which had followed the demolition derby portion of the events and the roar of the crowd was nigh unto deafening. Taguchi "The Clown" Junnosuke and Nakamaru "The Mouth" Yuichi were up in the announcers booth, whipping the crowd into a frenzy with their spirited commentary, jokes, and sound effects.
Kamenashi watched the entire spectacle from the catwalk in the apex of the tent, enjoying the show before his big entrance.
"And now, on to the main event!"
The big red truck roared into the stadium to the resounding kyaa~ of womanly approval.
"The Casanova of catastrophe, the Don Juan of destruction, the big red truck with the chassis that just won't quit, breaking hearts and parts in the tri-prefecture area since 2006, get ready to be rocked all night long by The Homewrecker!!"
The Homewrecker revved its engines a few times before tearing off in a lap around the arena and coming to a stop dead center. Akanishi Jin, in a red and leopard-print jumpsuit with a red glitter helmet swung himself out of the cab and onto the hood. He tore off his helmet, shaking out his hair like he was in a home hair color commercial and blowing a kiss to the crowd in a sweeping motion that seemed to include every woman in the structure.
The crowd ate it up.
"Tonight he'll be facing off against, you guessed it folks! None other than The Despot of Despair, The Wicked Right Hand of Fate, he casts his wretched shadow over hope and love everywhere, doling out his own exquisite form of misery, surrender your soul to. . . Dark Angel!!"
Ueda Tatsuya brought his shiny black-and-silver truck to the crest of the hill at one corner of the arena and opened his cab door to lean out, showing off his head-to-toe black jumpsuit and helmet ensemble complete with giant rhinestone wings on the back while strobe lights flashed as air guns shot tons of black feathers into the crowd.
From above, Kame could see the trucks circling each other and pulling hard turns, exactly as they'd rehearsed, and occasionally the color commentary would seep in.
They came together in a head-on collision and Maru shouted, "Ain't nothin' sweet about that kiss, folks!"
As they got to the part where Jin tries to corner Ueda and Dark Angel, "The Homewrecker will flirt with anything, even disaster!," Kame got up off the catwalk to get strapped into his wire harness.
Finally, as The Homewrecker popped a daring wheelie, Dark Angel shot forward to nudge the truck back and The Homewrecker tipped all the way back, his front tires spinning in the air uselessly.
"Oh! Looks like The Homewrecker is getting tarred and feathered! . . . get it? 'cause he's an angel?" Junno joked.
"Oh shut up, Taguchi." Maru could be heard to say, evidently unaware his mic was on. Kame laughed. Poor guy. Sometimes he just couldn't win. The guys would probably give him a hard time about the mic later.
"Ah! Dark Angel has defeated the King of Love, but will he remain the victor?" Junno wailed imperiously.
Kame checked his wires one last time to make sure he was secure and stepped off the catwalk and out into the smoky air, dropping only about six inches and assuming the iron-cross position just as the spotlight swung up to illuminate him from below and Maru's voice boomed out over the noise of the crowd.
"But wait! What's that up in the sky? It's the Assassin of the Passion, The Assaulter from the Altar, The Righteous Hammer of Retribution! Converting the heathens and rewarding the faithful, performing miracles with machinery, he'll make you a believer whether you like it or not! It's. . . The Saint!"
* * * * * *
The mechanic fired up his four wheeler and headed out into the arena to pick up the defeated driver of The Homewrecker as soon as he saw the truck start to tip back. It wasn't safe for a driver to be in the arena while the other trucks were 'dueling'.
He idled the ATV just long enough for Jin to hop on the back and he jetted back to his place in the wings. He parked by the exterior fence and whipped his helmet off just as Maru finished the introduction and Kame slowly descended, as if from Heaven, in a white jumpsuit, arms spread and body-length fringe dangling, shining gold helmet in one hand, alighting on the hood of his gleaming white truck decorated with gold metallic crosses on the hood and quarter-panels.
He crosses himself in an over-blown gesture, then pointed his crossing finger at Dark Angel in an unmistakable "I'm gunning for you" move.
Jin leaned on the fence next to him. "So Koki, wanna go grab something to eat on the midway? They have something new and the chicks at the funnel cake stand say it's better than the batter-dipped candy bar."
"Shhh!" Koki admonished without even looking over, "This is the best part. Kame looks cool tonight, huh."
"Kame looks cool every weekend, doofus, it's his job."
"Yeah, yeah."
Then Kame was in his truck and Koki turned to face Jin. "I seriously doubt anything's better than that candy bar, but sure, I'll come with you. And don't think I didn't notice you bottoming out Homewrecker just to spark for the crowd. Those undercarriages ain't cheap and they don't fix themselves, jerk."
Jin laughed. "Sorry."
"Sorry my ass. I swear, only you could manage to bottom out a truck that's high enough off the dang ground that I could walk under it"
"Yeah, but Koki, you're tiny."
Koki crossed his arms over his chest and stepped up nose-to-nose with Jin. "That's as may be, but guess who's helping me beat the dents out of the exhaust system again tomorrow?"
Jin pouted.
"No way. You're helping me or I'm going to tell the food booth chicks what a dork you are. Don't think I won't."
"Oh fine."
"First thing in the morning."
"Yeah, yeah. But for now, food," Jin said, although the term 'food' only applied very loosely.
As they left the rally tent and headed out into the rest of the fairgrounds they could hear Junno shouting, "Dark Angel better start saying his prayers 'cause The Saint is bringing down heavenly judgement like Hoooooly Heeeellfiiire!" which meant the other guys would be done soon. They didn't really feel they needed to wait, though, because no one else was brave enough to eat the kind of fair food they were headed out to find.
The next morning Koki would wake cursing Jin doubly. Not only would he have to beat out the dents, he'd be buying Koki an economy-sized bottle of Pepto.
* * * * * *
Later that evening, Jin barged in to Kame and Ueda's trailer and slumped into the couch, folding his arms over his stomach. "I think I'm gonna yak."
"What deep-fried horror did you just have to try today, Jin?"
Kame was a few steps away, behind a wood-paneling wall, in the kitchenette making sandwiches and had the roll of paper towels ready to place right into Ueda hand without looking when Ueda reached up to tap expectantly on the paneling.
"Some kind of cake. I'm not sure but I think it was wearing a hat."
Kame poked his head out of the kitchenette, looking to Ueda, "Those words don't mean anything to me, you?"
"I've got nothing. Cake with a hat, Jin?" Ueda asked while he began to line the couch around Jin with paper towels.
"The picture of the cake on the box had a cowboy hat on it. It was batter-dipped and fried. It was okay, but I seriously think I might yak."
Kame came out with sandwiches on plates. "Not that I don't love having you and your quaint little dialogue around, Jin, but why, exactly are you in our trailer?"
"Oh, about that. I'm here to talk to you about something important."
"You. . . are here to talk to me about something important?"
"I lost at janken." Then, looking at Ueda, still carefully placing paper towels, "What the hell are you doing?"
"In case of yak-ing?. . .yak-age. . .yakitude? Whatever. Don't throw up on the couch."
"Yeah, 'cause that would be a yaktastrophe."
"Just continue," Ueda urged.
"Okay, I'm sorry, what's going on here?" Kame asked, a little perturbed, and took a bite of his sandwich only to choke on it a moment later when Jin explained.
"Koki's in love with you, you know."
Kame spluttered for a moment, struggling to swallow his bite of turkey and swiss without embarrassing himself. "What?"
"It can't really be news to you, right? I mean, I don't think I've seen anyone so obviously have a crush since the last time I saw Koyama."
Kame hadn't been on the rally circuit for long and he didn't know the guys in the other rallies as well as Jin did. "Which one is Koyama?"
"He drives The Crushinator," Ueda explained.
Jin went on, "Yeah, and I'm pretty sure the original name of that truck was 'Shige'."
Kame had heard some pretty strange names for Monster Trucks, but this one was beyond him. "What's a Shige?"
"One of their announcers."
"Oh."
It wasn't as though Kame hadn't noticed the attention that Koki paid to him. He had definitely noticed and he secretly loved it. Koki was thoughtful and sweet, and cute too if Kame was being honest. He just wasn't sure if it was okay to have feelings for, let alone a relationship with, someone you were in such close quarters with all the time. Also, he thought that, as obvious as Koki was, he'd probably have said something by now if he wanted their relationship to go forward and he said as much to Ueda and Jin.
"Nah, that's not Koki's style," Jin answered. "We think you should ask him out. If you like him, that is."
"Is that really okay? We're coworkers. Do people date other people in the same rally?"
Jin chuckled, "I hear the Kansai region rallies are all big lovefests among the staff. You should worry less."
"Well. . . figure it this way," Ueda said, "no matter how much Jin likes to play the heartbreaker, it's not like any of us are seeing much action," Jin was nodding along sadly. "because we only ever see each other. If you can make it work, go for it."
"Yeah, someone should get laid around here," Jin agreed.
Ueda frowned. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. They aren't even dating."
Kame thought about it for a few days. He really couldn't think of any reason why he shouldn't ask Koki out. He did like Koki. He just wasn't always as obvious with his affection as others were. He didn't particularly like the fact that it had taken Jin and Ueda saying something to him to get him to realize that he wasn't very comfortable with the idea of just letting things slide and not making sure that Koki knew that his feelings were returned.
He just wasn't sure exactly how to ask someone he saw almost every day out on a date without it being awkward.
He was strolling along the outside fence of the fair grounds as he mused on the subject and eventually walked past Junno practicing juggling with a couple of the dirt bikers. He gave them a wide berth so he wouldn't get swept into conversation with them, but as he passed, Junno broke off from the pair and fell into stride beside him.
"You look troubled." It wasn't an accusation, just an observation touched with a shade of concern.
"I'm trying to figure out how to ask someone out."
"'You're cute, let's get dinner' usually works for me."
Kame laughed, quickly and mirthlessly, "It's not that easy. He works here."
Junno's open face broke into a wide grin, "Aww, Kame, I'm flattered, but I'm just not interested in guys."
"Not you, dork." Kame laughed, genuinely this time.
"Haha. I know. It's Koki, right?"
"How does everyone know about this?" Kame asked exasperated.
"Where do you think Jin and Ueda and Maru were gossiping about you and Koki? Not your trailer and not Koki's."
"I guess."
"It's really not that big a deal," Junno assured him. "Unless you make it a big deal."
Kame supposed that was true, so he resolved to make it as small a deal as possible. Maybe tomorrow afternoon.
* * * * * *
It was a cool afternoon, still spring, not quite summer and even cooler under the canopy by the food vendors. Kame shivered a bit in his thin coat and hunched around his cup of diesel-fuel-strength coffee. So he didn't mind at all when Nakamaru and Koki came by and offered to share their platter of nachos with him, Koki sitting unnaturally close and sharing a bit of his body heat. He dug in, only lamenting a little the fact that the salsa on the side was the closest thing he'd seen to a vegetable in a week, just as Jin sauntered up and sat down at their picnic table.
"Want some?" Nakamaru offered.
"Nah, I just had two chili dogs."
Kame winced, "Why?"
"I was chatting up the booth girls. It would have been rude not to buy anything."
Nakamaru shook his head, "How are you not fatter?"
"Just lucky, I guess."
"He's storing it in his arteries," Ueda replied sardonically, joining them.
"It's not like it would matter if he got fat. Everyone loves The Homewrecker," Koki sing-songed.
"Oh yeah," Jin crowed in mock-pride, "They can't get enough of me. Old ladies, babies, women, men. I got 'em comin' at me from all sides."
"Yeah, but mostly from behind," laughed Koki. "How does Junno sleep in the same trailer as you?"
"Obviously Junno loves me too. Hey Maru, I was wondering, why do they call you 'The Mouth'?"
Maru shrugged.
"I was thinking they really ought to call Junno "The Mouth" because-"
Ueda threw his hands up as if warding off evil. "Eugh!! Stop right there. Ick. Ugh. Gross. I just got a very vivid and disgusting visual of why I heard grunting and saw your and Junno's trailer rocking last night."
Just then Junno sat down with his lunch. "Jin just telling you how I spanked his ass hard last night-"
Ueda shrieked and left the table before Junno finished, ". . .in Wii Boxing? What's his problem?"
"He thinks we had sex."
Junno shuddered, "That would be traumatizing."
Nakamaru interrupted them, "I don't get it. Why should he be 'The Mouth'?"
"Oh, because he has the kanji for mouth right there in his name."
There was a collective groan from the table.
"I feel like I should be kicking your ass, thinking of a pun that bad," Koki griped.
Maru agreed, "That's as bad as Junno's."
Junno scoffed, affronted. "I would never make a pun that bad."
In the ensuing argument, Kame began gathering their trash and asked Koki to help him carry it to the bin. As nonchalantly as possible, he said, "Hey, wanna get dinner with me tonight?"
"Sure," Koki replied, smiling.
"Great. I'll make reservations for around eight?"
"Sounds good."
* * * * * *
Koki showed up at Kame's trailer promptly at seven-thirty and knocked on the door.
"Evenin'. Ready?"
"Hi. Yeah, let me grab my jacket," Kame answered and Koki thought he might actually be blushing, which was unusual.
Just then Ueda said something to Kame that had Koki's eyes going so wide, his eyeballs were in danger of rolling right out of his head.
"Have a good time on your date," he'd said.
Kame said "Thanks," turned to Koki, and seeing his shocked face asked "What's wrong?"
"This is a date?" Koki asked, stricken.
"Well yeah. I thought that was implied. I asked you out to dinner and told you I'd make reservations. Like at a restaurant. Dinner around here usually involves something disgusting and deep fried, usually on a stick."
"I didn't know. If I'd known I'd have brought you flowers or something."
"Why would you have brought me flowers?"
"Because you are supposed to bring gir-. . . uhh friends- I mean people, I- umm, it's just expected is all. Bringing flowers is."
Kame looked at Koki a second like maybe Koki was confused. "Um, I'm not the girl, Koki."
Ueda could be heard snerking from within the trailer.
"Well I'm definitely not the girl."
Ever the master of perfect timing, Jin chose that moment to stroll by on his way to his own trailer and say "Hey ladies."
Koki was not pleased. "Oi! You take that back. I am a manly dude! A hardass, even!" He turned to the right where his and Maru's trailer was and shouted, "Hey Maru. Nakamaru!"
Nakamaru slid the window of the trailer open and leaned his head out. "What the hell?! I told you I was studying!"
Koki lost a bit of his bluster in the face of Nakamaru's displeasure. He didn't really want to hear another lecture about how distance learning was harder than going to a regular school because, as Maru had said, 'I have to deal with you lot'. Just yesterday, Koki had endured a stern talking-to about how Nakamaru was never going to finish his degree if he didn't get some studying done and 'The rally is a business and who did they think was going to run it when the manager retired? Online business school is not like that time Junno learned how to be a bartender/juggler/interior decorator/priest through correspondence courses, you know.'
In all actuality, Nakamaru was usually pretty willing to contribute to the general level of idiocy. His online college classes were the only thing that he ever got serious about and they all wanted to respect that, so when that seriousness was staring him in the face from his trailer window with a crinkled forehead and his 'Pass the test' study headband on, Koki's silly complaints about being called girly sounded stupid, even to himself.
"Nothing. Jin said I wasn't manly. Good luck on your test."
"You're both morons. And for the record there's nothing hard about your ass. Hey, Kame."
"Hey."
"Enjoy your dinner."
Koki wanted to complain but his attention was quickly turned from ridiculous arguments to the fact that Kame had slipped his hand into Koki's own and said quietly, "Go to dinner with me?"
* * * * * *
Kame had to admit, that first date didn't go particularly well until the very end. They were both nervous and awkward but they hadn't wanted it to end, so when they got back to the fairgrounds, they'd walked the grounds, ending up back behind the rally tent which was on the very edge of the lot, hands joined.
Maybe it was the fact that they were on the opposite end of the grounds from the trailer parking area so there was no one around, or maybe it was just that Koki was tired of waiting, but suddenly and without warning, Kame found himself hauled bodily against Koki but, shockingly, Koki hadn't kissed him.
Kame was a bit lost for words. "Hi."
"Hi," Koki whispered back. "Is this okay?"
When Kame nodded in answer, Koki leaned him and kissed him sweetly. Hand-in-hand and lip-to-lip, the kiss was so perfect that about halfway through they were both worried they might do something to screw it up.
It was, in Kame's opinion, the best way they could have ended the date and it was how they'd ended ever other 'date' they'd had since, although other than that, they weren't much like dates at all.
Honestly, Kame wasn't quite sure how what they were doing now was different from what they'd been doing before aside from the necking behind the rally tent and the very occasional non-artery-clogging meal.
Well, that and the fact that he'd spent 5000 yen and an entire afternoon getting heckled by one of the game monkeys trying to win a little felted keychain version of The Saint with a fuzzy little halo on it and a beatific cartoon smile to give to Koki as a token. He figured it was like the Rally version of giving someone your pin or wearing matching bracelets.
Koki had accepted it and put it onto his keyring. He'd even snuck into Kame's trailer to leave a return gift; a plate of apples that had a note attached reading 'I thought you'd like ones that weren't baked, batter-dipped, fried, sugared, covered in caramel, or candied, or on a stick.' It was the nicest gift Kame had ever received.
So Kame figured they were pretty official.
The other notable difference was that now the guys treated them as a couple. One night Kame and Maru came back from a snack run and entered Kame's trailer where the rest of the guys were already gathered to watch movies and Ueda wordlessly, and without any sign of begrudging it, vacated his place on their tiny loveseat so that Kame could sit next to Koki.
Kame was surprised and delighted to realize that what Ueda and Junno had assured him of only a few weeks ago was true. None of them cared or were bothered. Also, he didn't really appreciate being forced to realize that Jin, too, had been right, Kame needed to worry less.
He happily settled onto the couch, slouching down to lean against Koki's side and slinging one leg over both of Koki's.
"What are we watching?"
"They haven't decided. They're arguing over who's going to win the cross-region rally next month."
"It's scripted. What's to argue about?"
"Oh, we got the script and Jin's pissed that The Homewrecker is going up against The Knightmare."
"I am not-" Jin began to explain before Junno cut him off.
"No, he's pissed that he's supposed to lose."
Jin pouted. "I don't wanna lose to that princess."
"Say what you want about the kid," Koki challenged him, "But that's one gorgeous truck he drives."
"You just think he's pretty. You better watch out, Kame."
Koki slid his hand into Kame's and scooched, if possible, a little closer on the loveseat, saying softly, "He's got nothing to worry about."
* * * * * *
One night a few weeks later, as he was coming out of the arena after a successful show, Kame stopped to pick up a rose wrapped in plastic. It had probably been thrown for Jin, but Kame didn't care. It was pretty and it wasn't as though thousand of these roses didn't get swept up and tossed aside every show.
He sauntered into the back of the tent and saw Ueda talking to Koki about his truck.
"Good show tonight," Ueda said as he strode up.
"Yeah, you too. Hey, Koki." Kame handed him the pretty red rose. "I'm gonna go grab a shower." He kissed Koki on the cheek and walked off.
Koki smiled happily at the rose for a second and then looked up into Ueda's amused face with it's quizzically raised eyebrow and a realization hit him. His face fell.
He stared sulkily down at the flower. "Aww. Man! I am the girl."
*END*
From: imifumei
Title: Romance on the Midway on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday
Pairings/Characters: Kame/Koki, and general friendship
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Monster Trucks, dubious wordplay, deep-fried horrors, AU
Notes: koneho, I hope this AU is not too far out there. Thanks to my very helpful and patient beta. Also, everything I know about Monster Truck rallies I am remembering from county fairs I went to over a decade ago.
Summary: This March prepare to get ANNIHILATED as fic_the_faith and Johnny's & Associates proudly present MEGA MONSTER TRUCK RALLY!!! Featuring all your favourite trucks: The Homewrecker! Dark Angel! and The Saint! And don't miss the First Annual Deep Fried Twinkie Cook-Off! Tickets are just 1000 yen! The first hundred people through the gate get a CRUNKY BAR!! Tickets available through Ticketmaster and select Johnny's Shop locations in TOKYO!! This Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!!
The smoke was just clearing from the colorful rainbow of lights and sparks that was the flashy dirt-bike show which had followed the demolition derby portion of the events and the roar of the crowd was nigh unto deafening. Taguchi "The Clown" Junnosuke and Nakamaru "The Mouth" Yuichi were up in the announcers booth, whipping the crowd into a frenzy with their spirited commentary, jokes, and sound effects.
Kamenashi watched the entire spectacle from the catwalk in the apex of the tent, enjoying the show before his big entrance.
"And now, on to the main event!"
The big red truck roared into the stadium to the resounding kyaa~ of womanly approval.
"The Casanova of catastrophe, the Don Juan of destruction, the big red truck with the chassis that just won't quit, breaking hearts and parts in the tri-prefecture area since 2006, get ready to be rocked all night long by The Homewrecker!!"
The Homewrecker revved its engines a few times before tearing off in a lap around the arena and coming to a stop dead center. Akanishi Jin, in a red and leopard-print jumpsuit with a red glitter helmet swung himself out of the cab and onto the hood. He tore off his helmet, shaking out his hair like he was in a home hair color commercial and blowing a kiss to the crowd in a sweeping motion that seemed to include every woman in the structure.
The crowd ate it up.
"Tonight he'll be facing off against, you guessed it folks! None other than The Despot of Despair, The Wicked Right Hand of Fate, he casts his wretched shadow over hope and love everywhere, doling out his own exquisite form of misery, surrender your soul to. . . Dark Angel!!"
Ueda Tatsuya brought his shiny black-and-silver truck to the crest of the hill at one corner of the arena and opened his cab door to lean out, showing off his head-to-toe black jumpsuit and helmet ensemble complete with giant rhinestone wings on the back while strobe lights flashed as air guns shot tons of black feathers into the crowd.
From above, Kame could see the trucks circling each other and pulling hard turns, exactly as they'd rehearsed, and occasionally the color commentary would seep in.
They came together in a head-on collision and Maru shouted, "Ain't nothin' sweet about that kiss, folks!"
As they got to the part where Jin tries to corner Ueda and Dark Angel, "The Homewrecker will flirt with anything, even disaster!," Kame got up off the catwalk to get strapped into his wire harness.
Finally, as The Homewrecker popped a daring wheelie, Dark Angel shot forward to nudge the truck back and The Homewrecker tipped all the way back, his front tires spinning in the air uselessly.
"Oh! Looks like The Homewrecker is getting tarred and feathered! . . . get it? 'cause he's an angel?" Junno joked.
"Oh shut up, Taguchi." Maru could be heard to say, evidently unaware his mic was on. Kame laughed. Poor guy. Sometimes he just couldn't win. The guys would probably give him a hard time about the mic later.
"Ah! Dark Angel has defeated the King of Love, but will he remain the victor?" Junno wailed imperiously.
Kame checked his wires one last time to make sure he was secure and stepped off the catwalk and out into the smoky air, dropping only about six inches and assuming the iron-cross position just as the spotlight swung up to illuminate him from below and Maru's voice boomed out over the noise of the crowd.
"But wait! What's that up in the sky? It's the Assassin of the Passion, The Assaulter from the Altar, The Righteous Hammer of Retribution! Converting the heathens and rewarding the faithful, performing miracles with machinery, he'll make you a believer whether you like it or not! It's. . . The Saint!"
* * * * * *
The mechanic fired up his four wheeler and headed out into the arena to pick up the defeated driver of The Homewrecker as soon as he saw the truck start to tip back. It wasn't safe for a driver to be in the arena while the other trucks were 'dueling'.
He idled the ATV just long enough for Jin to hop on the back and he jetted back to his place in the wings. He parked by the exterior fence and whipped his helmet off just as Maru finished the introduction and Kame slowly descended, as if from Heaven, in a white jumpsuit, arms spread and body-length fringe dangling, shining gold helmet in one hand, alighting on the hood of his gleaming white truck decorated with gold metallic crosses on the hood and quarter-panels.
He crosses himself in an over-blown gesture, then pointed his crossing finger at Dark Angel in an unmistakable "I'm gunning for you" move.
Jin leaned on the fence next to him. "So Koki, wanna go grab something to eat on the midway? They have something new and the chicks at the funnel cake stand say it's better than the batter-dipped candy bar."
"Shhh!" Koki admonished without even looking over, "This is the best part. Kame looks cool tonight, huh."
"Kame looks cool every weekend, doofus, it's his job."
"Yeah, yeah."
Then Kame was in his truck and Koki turned to face Jin. "I seriously doubt anything's better than that candy bar, but sure, I'll come with you. And don't think I didn't notice you bottoming out Homewrecker just to spark for the crowd. Those undercarriages ain't cheap and they don't fix themselves, jerk."
Jin laughed. "Sorry."
"Sorry my ass. I swear, only you could manage to bottom out a truck that's high enough off the dang ground that I could walk under it"
"Yeah, but Koki, you're tiny."
Koki crossed his arms over his chest and stepped up nose-to-nose with Jin. "That's as may be, but guess who's helping me beat the dents out of the exhaust system again tomorrow?"
Jin pouted.
"No way. You're helping me or I'm going to tell the food booth chicks what a dork you are. Don't think I won't."
"Oh fine."
"First thing in the morning."
"Yeah, yeah. But for now, food," Jin said, although the term 'food' only applied very loosely.
As they left the rally tent and headed out into the rest of the fairgrounds they could hear Junno shouting, "Dark Angel better start saying his prayers 'cause The Saint is bringing down heavenly judgement like Hoooooly Heeeellfiiire!" which meant the other guys would be done soon. They didn't really feel they needed to wait, though, because no one else was brave enough to eat the kind of fair food they were headed out to find.
The next morning Koki would wake cursing Jin doubly. Not only would he have to beat out the dents, he'd be buying Koki an economy-sized bottle of Pepto.
* * * * * *
Later that evening, Jin barged in to Kame and Ueda's trailer and slumped into the couch, folding his arms over his stomach. "I think I'm gonna yak."
"What deep-fried horror did you just have to try today, Jin?"
Kame was a few steps away, behind a wood-paneling wall, in the kitchenette making sandwiches and had the roll of paper towels ready to place right into Ueda hand without looking when Ueda reached up to tap expectantly on the paneling.
"Some kind of cake. I'm not sure but I think it was wearing a hat."
Kame poked his head out of the kitchenette, looking to Ueda, "Those words don't mean anything to me, you?"
"I've got nothing. Cake with a hat, Jin?" Ueda asked while he began to line the couch around Jin with paper towels.
"The picture of the cake on the box had a cowboy hat on it. It was batter-dipped and fried. It was okay, but I seriously think I might yak."
Kame came out with sandwiches on plates. "Not that I don't love having you and your quaint little dialogue around, Jin, but why, exactly are you in our trailer?"
"Oh, about that. I'm here to talk to you about something important."
"You. . . are here to talk to me about something important?"
"I lost at janken." Then, looking at Ueda, still carefully placing paper towels, "What the hell are you doing?"
"In case of yak-ing?. . .yak-age. . .yakitude? Whatever. Don't throw up on the couch."
"Yeah, 'cause that would be a yaktastrophe."
"Just continue," Ueda urged.
"Okay, I'm sorry, what's going on here?" Kame asked, a little perturbed, and took a bite of his sandwich only to choke on it a moment later when Jin explained.
"Koki's in love with you, you know."
Kame spluttered for a moment, struggling to swallow his bite of turkey and swiss without embarrassing himself. "What?"
"It can't really be news to you, right? I mean, I don't think I've seen anyone so obviously have a crush since the last time I saw Koyama."
Kame hadn't been on the rally circuit for long and he didn't know the guys in the other rallies as well as Jin did. "Which one is Koyama?"
"He drives The Crushinator," Ueda explained.
Jin went on, "Yeah, and I'm pretty sure the original name of that truck was 'Shige'."
Kame had heard some pretty strange names for Monster Trucks, but this one was beyond him. "What's a Shige?"
"One of their announcers."
"Oh."
It wasn't as though Kame hadn't noticed the attention that Koki paid to him. He had definitely noticed and he secretly loved it. Koki was thoughtful and sweet, and cute too if Kame was being honest. He just wasn't sure if it was okay to have feelings for, let alone a relationship with, someone you were in such close quarters with all the time. Also, he thought that, as obvious as Koki was, he'd probably have said something by now if he wanted their relationship to go forward and he said as much to Ueda and Jin.
"Nah, that's not Koki's style," Jin answered. "We think you should ask him out. If you like him, that is."
"Is that really okay? We're coworkers. Do people date other people in the same rally?"
Jin chuckled, "I hear the Kansai region rallies are all big lovefests among the staff. You should worry less."
"Well. . . figure it this way," Ueda said, "no matter how much Jin likes to play the heartbreaker, it's not like any of us are seeing much action," Jin was nodding along sadly. "because we only ever see each other. If you can make it work, go for it."
"Yeah, someone should get laid around here," Jin agreed.
Ueda frowned. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. They aren't even dating."
Kame thought about it for a few days. He really couldn't think of any reason why he shouldn't ask Koki out. He did like Koki. He just wasn't always as obvious with his affection as others were. He didn't particularly like the fact that it had taken Jin and Ueda saying something to him to get him to realize that he wasn't very comfortable with the idea of just letting things slide and not making sure that Koki knew that his feelings were returned.
He just wasn't sure exactly how to ask someone he saw almost every day out on a date without it being awkward.
He was strolling along the outside fence of the fair grounds as he mused on the subject and eventually walked past Junno practicing juggling with a couple of the dirt bikers. He gave them a wide berth so he wouldn't get swept into conversation with them, but as he passed, Junno broke off from the pair and fell into stride beside him.
"You look troubled." It wasn't an accusation, just an observation touched with a shade of concern.
"I'm trying to figure out how to ask someone out."
"'You're cute, let's get dinner' usually works for me."
Kame laughed, quickly and mirthlessly, "It's not that easy. He works here."
Junno's open face broke into a wide grin, "Aww, Kame, I'm flattered, but I'm just not interested in guys."
"Not you, dork." Kame laughed, genuinely this time.
"Haha. I know. It's Koki, right?"
"How does everyone know about this?" Kame asked exasperated.
"Where do you think Jin and Ueda and Maru were gossiping about you and Koki? Not your trailer and not Koki's."
"I guess."
"It's really not that big a deal," Junno assured him. "Unless you make it a big deal."
Kame supposed that was true, so he resolved to make it as small a deal as possible. Maybe tomorrow afternoon.
* * * * * *
It was a cool afternoon, still spring, not quite summer and even cooler under the canopy by the food vendors. Kame shivered a bit in his thin coat and hunched around his cup of diesel-fuel-strength coffee. So he didn't mind at all when Nakamaru and Koki came by and offered to share their platter of nachos with him, Koki sitting unnaturally close and sharing a bit of his body heat. He dug in, only lamenting a little the fact that the salsa on the side was the closest thing he'd seen to a vegetable in a week, just as Jin sauntered up and sat down at their picnic table.
"Want some?" Nakamaru offered.
"Nah, I just had two chili dogs."
Kame winced, "Why?"
"I was chatting up the booth girls. It would have been rude not to buy anything."
Nakamaru shook his head, "How are you not fatter?"
"Just lucky, I guess."
"He's storing it in his arteries," Ueda replied sardonically, joining them.
"It's not like it would matter if he got fat. Everyone loves The Homewrecker," Koki sing-songed.
"Oh yeah," Jin crowed in mock-pride, "They can't get enough of me. Old ladies, babies, women, men. I got 'em comin' at me from all sides."
"Yeah, but mostly from behind," laughed Koki. "How does Junno sleep in the same trailer as you?"
"Obviously Junno loves me too. Hey Maru, I was wondering, why do they call you 'The Mouth'?"
Maru shrugged.
"I was thinking they really ought to call Junno "The Mouth" because-"
Ueda threw his hands up as if warding off evil. "Eugh!! Stop right there. Ick. Ugh. Gross. I just got a very vivid and disgusting visual of why I heard grunting and saw your and Junno's trailer rocking last night."
Just then Junno sat down with his lunch. "Jin just telling you how I spanked his ass hard last night-"
Ueda shrieked and left the table before Junno finished, ". . .in Wii Boxing? What's his problem?"
"He thinks we had sex."
Junno shuddered, "That would be traumatizing."
Nakamaru interrupted them, "I don't get it. Why should he be 'The Mouth'?"
"Oh, because he has the kanji for mouth right there in his name."
There was a collective groan from the table.
"I feel like I should be kicking your ass, thinking of a pun that bad," Koki griped.
Maru agreed, "That's as bad as Junno's."
Junno scoffed, affronted. "I would never make a pun that bad."
In the ensuing argument, Kame began gathering their trash and asked Koki to help him carry it to the bin. As nonchalantly as possible, he said, "Hey, wanna get dinner with me tonight?"
"Sure," Koki replied, smiling.
"Great. I'll make reservations for around eight?"
"Sounds good."
* * * * * *
Koki showed up at Kame's trailer promptly at seven-thirty and knocked on the door.
"Evenin'. Ready?"
"Hi. Yeah, let me grab my jacket," Kame answered and Koki thought he might actually be blushing, which was unusual.
Just then Ueda said something to Kame that had Koki's eyes going so wide, his eyeballs were in danger of rolling right out of his head.
"Have a good time on your date," he'd said.
Kame said "Thanks," turned to Koki, and seeing his shocked face asked "What's wrong?"
"This is a date?" Koki asked, stricken.
"Well yeah. I thought that was implied. I asked you out to dinner and told you I'd make reservations. Like at a restaurant. Dinner around here usually involves something disgusting and deep fried, usually on a stick."
"I didn't know. If I'd known I'd have brought you flowers or something."
"Why would you have brought me flowers?"
"Because you are supposed to bring gir-. . . uhh friends- I mean people, I- umm, it's just expected is all. Bringing flowers is."
Kame looked at Koki a second like maybe Koki was confused. "Um, I'm not the girl, Koki."
Ueda could be heard snerking from within the trailer.
"Well I'm definitely not the girl."
Ever the master of perfect timing, Jin chose that moment to stroll by on his way to his own trailer and say "Hey ladies."
Koki was not pleased. "Oi! You take that back. I am a manly dude! A hardass, even!" He turned to the right where his and Maru's trailer was and shouted, "Hey Maru. Nakamaru!"
Nakamaru slid the window of the trailer open and leaned his head out. "What the hell?! I told you I was studying!"
Koki lost a bit of his bluster in the face of Nakamaru's displeasure. He didn't really want to hear another lecture about how distance learning was harder than going to a regular school because, as Maru had said, 'I have to deal with you lot'. Just yesterday, Koki had endured a stern talking-to about how Nakamaru was never going to finish his degree if he didn't get some studying done and 'The rally is a business and who did they think was going to run it when the manager retired? Online business school is not like that time Junno learned how to be a bartender/juggler/interior decorator/priest through correspondence courses, you know.'
In all actuality, Nakamaru was usually pretty willing to contribute to the general level of idiocy. His online college classes were the only thing that he ever got serious about and they all wanted to respect that, so when that seriousness was staring him in the face from his trailer window with a crinkled forehead and his 'Pass the test' study headband on, Koki's silly complaints about being called girly sounded stupid, even to himself.
"Nothing. Jin said I wasn't manly. Good luck on your test."
"You're both morons. And for the record there's nothing hard about your ass. Hey, Kame."
"Hey."
"Enjoy your dinner."
Koki wanted to complain but his attention was quickly turned from ridiculous arguments to the fact that Kame had slipped his hand into Koki's own and said quietly, "Go to dinner with me?"
* * * * * *
Kame had to admit, that first date didn't go particularly well until the very end. They were both nervous and awkward but they hadn't wanted it to end, so when they got back to the fairgrounds, they'd walked the grounds, ending up back behind the rally tent which was on the very edge of the lot, hands joined.
Maybe it was the fact that they were on the opposite end of the grounds from the trailer parking area so there was no one around, or maybe it was just that Koki was tired of waiting, but suddenly and without warning, Kame found himself hauled bodily against Koki but, shockingly, Koki hadn't kissed him.
Kame was a bit lost for words. "Hi."
"Hi," Koki whispered back. "Is this okay?"
When Kame nodded in answer, Koki leaned him and kissed him sweetly. Hand-in-hand and lip-to-lip, the kiss was so perfect that about halfway through they were both worried they might do something to screw it up.
It was, in Kame's opinion, the best way they could have ended the date and it was how they'd ended ever other 'date' they'd had since, although other than that, they weren't much like dates at all.
Honestly, Kame wasn't quite sure how what they were doing now was different from what they'd been doing before aside from the necking behind the rally tent and the very occasional non-artery-clogging meal.
Well, that and the fact that he'd spent 5000 yen and an entire afternoon getting heckled by one of the game monkeys trying to win a little felted keychain version of The Saint with a fuzzy little halo on it and a beatific cartoon smile to give to Koki as a token. He figured it was like the Rally version of giving someone your pin or wearing matching bracelets.
Koki had accepted it and put it onto his keyring. He'd even snuck into Kame's trailer to leave a return gift; a plate of apples that had a note attached reading 'I thought you'd like ones that weren't baked, batter-dipped, fried, sugared, covered in caramel, or candied, or on a stick.' It was the nicest gift Kame had ever received.
So Kame figured they were pretty official.
The other notable difference was that now the guys treated them as a couple. One night Kame and Maru came back from a snack run and entered Kame's trailer where the rest of the guys were already gathered to watch movies and Ueda wordlessly, and without any sign of begrudging it, vacated his place on their tiny loveseat so that Kame could sit next to Koki.
Kame was surprised and delighted to realize that what Ueda and Junno had assured him of only a few weeks ago was true. None of them cared or were bothered. Also, he didn't really appreciate being forced to realize that Jin, too, had been right, Kame needed to worry less.
He happily settled onto the couch, slouching down to lean against Koki's side and slinging one leg over both of Koki's.
"What are we watching?"
"They haven't decided. They're arguing over who's going to win the cross-region rally next month."
"It's scripted. What's to argue about?"
"Oh, we got the script and Jin's pissed that The Homewrecker is going up against The Knightmare."
"I am not-" Jin began to explain before Junno cut him off.
"No, he's pissed that he's supposed to lose."
Jin pouted. "I don't wanna lose to that princess."
"Say what you want about the kid," Koki challenged him, "But that's one gorgeous truck he drives."
"You just think he's pretty. You better watch out, Kame."
Koki slid his hand into Kame's and scooched, if possible, a little closer on the loveseat, saying softly, "He's got nothing to worry about."
* * * * * *
One night a few weeks later, as he was coming out of the arena after a successful show, Kame stopped to pick up a rose wrapped in plastic. It had probably been thrown for Jin, but Kame didn't care. It was pretty and it wasn't as though thousand of these roses didn't get swept up and tossed aside every show.
He sauntered into the back of the tent and saw Ueda talking to Koki about his truck.
"Good show tonight," Ueda said as he strode up.
"Yeah, you too. Hey, Koki." Kame handed him the pretty red rose. "I'm gonna go grab a shower." He kissed Koki on the cheek and walked off.
Koki smiled happily at the rose for a second and then looked up into Ueda's amused face with it's quizzically raised eyebrow and a realization hit him. His face fell.
He stared sulkily down at the flower. "Aww. Man! I am the girl."
*END*