FIC FOR SASHJUN
For: sashjun
From: azhe
Title: Jumping through Hoops
Pairings/Characters: Nakamaru/Ueda
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Romance-y, implied fights, some bruises, plenty of confusion, stubborn men, and meddlesome members.
Notes: Dear sashjun , the story is reaallly long, but I hope you can still enjoy it!!! Story was mostly inspired by interviews, TV shows, photo shoots that took place from around late last year, and takes place from around then until the somewhat present. Thank you T for the immense support and for beta-ing!
Summary: Nakamaru has never really been good at saying his feelings. But how long can he continue denying them?
“Yo, Earth to Yucci!!” Nakamaru jolts from his thoughts a mid-October morning during concert practice. A smug smile forms on Kame’s lips; it’s too early in the morning for Kame to be staring at him so creepily, Nakamaru thinks. Although, considering he had just been staring, albeit unconsciously, at another certain group member, he figures he shouldn’t judge.
Nakamaru’s mind has been gravitating towards Ueda a lot recently and he really can’t help but stare. He actually doesn’t want to stop, during this period, that’s about all he feels he can do.
“Can you stare any harder?” Kame laughs before he takes a sip from his water bottle.
Oddly enough, even after years of telling himself he should just give up this unrequited love, Nakamaru still feels the attraction. It’s like a moth who can’t keep away from the flame. At this rate he’s sure to be burned.
As he sees Taguchi and Ueda talking lively and smiling, he figures he should be happy that they are still friends that they are all still together, but he still wants more.
You don’t, Nakamaru convinces himself.
Ueda gives a quick glance towards Nakamaru, catching him red-handed. He turns away as casually as he can only to see Kame on the floor, having fallen from his seat at one point from all the laughing. By the time Nakamaru turns back to Ueda, he's focused back on his conversation with Taguchi, probably going over a couple of Basketball techniques judging by the way Ueda moves, Taguchi following suit.
Everything is easier said than done, of course.
***
It’s not like he’s never tried to actually tell Ueda, but rather the sense of familiarity and tranquility they have around each other, their friendship, was something Nakamaru didn’t want to ruin.
“You shouldn’t deny your heart what it wants,” Kame mutters over the phone. It’s one of his rarest of the rare days off. “As cheesy as it sounds, you have the right to a happy life as much as any of us.”
“I think I’d rather keep it a secret for as long as I can, this is Ueda we’re talking about,” Nakamaru pinches the bridge of his nose. “Any chance he gets, he professes his love for mini-skirts, and long beautiful legs, which are attached to women, Kame, not men.”
“Fine, I get your point.” There’s a long pause on the line. “But you’ll never know unless you try.”
So he considers Kame’s advice, because Nakamaru always trusts him give sensible advice when he truly needs it.
“If all else fails, I’d be willing to lend you a couple of miniskirts.”
Nakamaru hangs up on him. Well, most times he gives sensible advice.
Nakamaru makes a mental note to look after Kame a little more.
***
In the end Nakamaru decides not to do anything rash. He takes things at his own, excruciating, pace.
Nakamaru slips back into a sense of comfort. He doesn’t see Ueda too often except at concert rehearsals, magazine shootings, and filming for TV shows. He doesn’t feel any pressure to say anything. After all, Ueda has a lot on his plate at the moment.
It's Ueda who interrupts one of his boring evenings with a text. It's an invitation to Ueda’s house under the guise that he needs entertainment.
Go to the gym, Nakamaru texts back, though part of him wants Ueda to insist he come over. All he gets in return is a sad emoji face, which is all Nakamaru needs before his legs are pulling him out his door.
Once Nakamaru arrives at Ueda’s door, he knocks like any Good Samaritan, only to have no answer. He tries the door and finds it open so he casually walks further into the apartment after toeing off his shoes. Knowing Ueda, Nakamaru thinks he might have just gone to the nearby convenient store for some late night treats and simply left the door open for him.
Nakamaru finds that Ueda’s apartment is engulfed in darkness except for his living room. He’s slightly shaken when Ueda’s dog, Tiko, runs to greet him. Nakamaru crouches down to pet her once relief sinks back in. The feeling is quickly stolen when Ueda jumps out of the darkness, and scares Nakamaru.
“Ueda, what the hell?!” Nakamaru shouts as he tumbles back.
“Hah- hah,” Ueda shouts and points two fake rapier swords at Nakamaru. “En garde, Yuichi!” Ueda proceeds to throw one of the rapiers in Nakamaru’s general direction, which has him fumbling for it, surprised by the sudden action.
“Whoa,” Nakamaru swiftly ducks avoiding Ueda’s swing. “What’s gotten into you?”
Nakamaru understands that Ueda isn’t planning to answer, when he simply continues to swing his sword aggressively. Nakamaru grasps his sword with intention, and when Ueda swings again, Nakamaru manages to successfully deflect his strike. Tiko has made herself a spectator in this whole ordeal, merely watching in amusement from a safe distance as the duel continues.
“Not bad, old man,” Ueda sneers.
Nakamaru can’t help but roll his eyes at the comment. Ueda continues to swing without mercy.
“You know when you asked me to come over for entertainment,” Nakamaru starts in between Ueda’s strikes, “this isn't what I had in mind.”
Ueda catches Nakamaru off guard, and thrusts his rapier, managing to disarm him, sending the sword flying to the other side of the room. Nakamaru stares at Ueda in all his glory as he stands panting and pointing his rapier at him. Nakamaru can’t help but admire his disheveled appearance. Ueda’s hair is down but untidy, and more than a prince he looks like a villain ready to strike right into Nakamaru’s chest. The curve of Ueda’s dominant posture and the smug look on his face as he points the rapier captivates Nakamaru enough to make him fall on his ass.
“So what did you have in mind for entertainment?” Ueda asks after he points his rapier away. He lends a hand to help, and lifts Nakamaru up with ease.
Nakamaru swallows, and clears his throat. “Well,” he ponders. There is one thing, but he had already had this conversation with himself, and things can’t go in that direction.
“Actually,” Ueda drags Nakamaru out from his thoughts, “I guess that’s my fault for misguiding you. I was actually just looking for a distraction,” Ueda says as he picks up the other rapier and proceeds to put them both away.
Ueda heads into the kitchen as Nakamaru makes himself comfortable as he sits down next to Tiko. He mutters Why didn’t you help out? as he pets her. He comes back with two glasses of water and hands one to Nakamaru who gladly accepts it.
As Ueda sits down, Nakamaru knows that something is bothering Ueda by the way his shoulders slump.
“Things didn’t go so well at rehearsals today, so I figured why not take it out on you,” Ueda smiles deviously as if reading Nakamaru’s mind.
“Take it out on your punching bag next time,” Nakamaru frowns.
“A punching bag won’t give me acting tips afterwards.”
“You want acting tips? From me?”
“You are practically a master.”
Nakamaru feels Ueda is alluding to something, but he figures Ueda’s never been clear in what he means, so he ignores it.
“Besides Kame and Taguchi are both off filming their dramas, so you're the only option left.”
“Wait, so am I!” Ueda just laughs. “Well, I don’t know if I could give you any helpful tips,” he says truthfully. “And aren’t you’re focusing on the wrong play, Romeo?”
Ueda pouts at him. Nakamaru shakes his head.
Sure enough though, Nakamaru stays with Ueda. He gives him tips he’s been handed down, and more or less stays longer than he intended to because he likes Ueda’s company. By the time Nakamaru announces that he has to leave, Ueda simply thanks him for being a good sport and for indulging him and his weird games.
***
Things start to get awkward, but only because Nakamaru makes it so, or at least that’s what Kame tells him. He starts to avoid Ueda, except for casual greetings at rehearsals, harmless group chatter during photo shoots, and the usual encounters when hanging out with common friends.
Nakamaru concludes that Kame is an evil genius, but doesn’t tell him, simply because he’s afraid Kame will just take it as a compliment. Kame invites both Nakamaru and Ueda out for dinner. A birthday dinner, Kame claims, since he never got around to give them gifts due to his busy schedule.
The food is expensive looking and tastes extremely good. Ueda finds it suitable enough as he finishes his dish quickly, no surprise there, and suddenly moves in on Nakamaru’s, hoping to grab a quick bite. Nakamaru’s hand moves lighning fast and captures Uedas wrist with a vice grip. Ueda winces from the hold, he tries to retract his hand but is unable.
“Let go,” Ueda commands.
“What if I don’t,” Nakamaru challenges. Ueda stares back with fire in his eyes.
Nakamaru pulls his hand back from Ueda’s wrist not a moment later. Embarrassment creeps into Nakamaru’s cheeks, but he plays it off as he laughs and swallows a drink from his wine glass.
“Putting those Shabekuri tips to good use I see,” Kame muses.
“Guess that really does work,” Nakamaru plays it off calm and cool. He ignores Ueda for the rest of the night that he doesn’t even realize when Ueda rubs at his wrist and looks at Nakamaru for the rest of the night. Nakamaru curses Kamenashi in his head; it seems as though all his current projects are not enough to keep Kamenashi satisfied.
The night ends for the three of them and they all say their goodbye’s as they separate their own ways. Only when Nakamaru gets home does he read on his newly arrived schedule that he has a pair photo shoot with Ueda the next day.
This has to be a joke.
***
It’s not. Nakamaru’s manager picks him up the next afternoon to the photo shoot.
“Please tell me this photo shoot is with Taguchi,” Nakamaru begs.
His manager pats his shoulder and smiles, “Having problems with Ueda?”
Nakamaru arrives at the shoot location at a park, and sees that Ueda has already gotten there much earlier than him. Not long after Nakamaru and Ueda are guided by the staff to change. They are both informed that the theme is An Important Person, and as the staff are aware of their friendship for the past sixteen years, they ask them to take pictures of each other and have fun.
Despite his initial nervousness, Nakamaru relaxes and starts taking pictures of Ueda as he plays with the poodle the staff brought, runs around, and climbs trees.
“You’ve had your fill, now it’s my turn,” Ueda explains as he takes the camera away from Nakamaru and starts taking obscene pictures of his nose.
“You’re too close,” Nakamaru yells as he pushes a cackling Ueda from him.
All awkwardness forgotten, Nakamaru and Ueda continue to unwind, fully enjoying the shoot. Ueda brings out a soccer ball, which lights up Nakamaru’s eyes. He laughs and throws it to Nakamaru who starts to dribble the ball as soon as it lands by his feet. Ueda tries to take the ball away and fails miserably as Nakamaru jukes him.
“Show off,” Ueda pouts.
Nakamaru continues to perform more complicated tricks, and after a couple of minutes he sees Ueda, actively trying to grasp what little concept he can of soccer from watching Nakamaru.
So Nakamaru goes to him and explains to him certain rules and tricks, then demonstrates for Ueda. Nakamaru passes Ueda the ball, and despite trying his best, Ueda has no progress in even the basics. So Nakamaru laughs, earning himself a punch in the arm. Nakamaru only laughs harder.
“You really have no talent,” Nakamaru states with laughter in his voice as Ueda frowns.
The staff take a few more photos and before both Nakamaru and Ueda know the staff dismisses them, thanking them for their hard work.
November comes and goes, undoubtedly like Nakamaru’s courage. So many opportunities lost, but Nakamaru disregards them.
***
December doesn’t postpone more music show performances, talk show guesting, magazine shoots that continue in group, which leaves little to no room for Nakamaru to really talk to Ueda alone, and with Ueda extremely busy with play rehearsals, there’s hardly any chance for them to come together outside of work.
He gets an invitation instead from Massu to dinner, which he accepts because he needs a change of pace. Nakamaru rants to Massu that if he has to listen to Taguchi make one more stupid pun at rehearsal, he might actually stop going. He doesn’t tell Massu the reason is because he had taken a shirt with the U initial, and Taguchi had laughed at him. Taguchi felt the lame need to add, “It’s all for U, isn’t it?” which caused Nakamaru to cough up some of his tea. Nakamaru is thankful that none of the Shuuichi cameramen managed to capture that on film.
“We spoil Taguchi too much,” Nakamaru states, though not angry. “We have always let everyone do as they please.”
“It’s not entirely a bad thing,” Massu says. He always looks at the bright side of things.
“It’s not entirely a good thing.”
Nakamaru thinks about Ueda, and he thinks his words to be true. He’s been trying not to give off vibes of attraction, though he admits it’s been a near impossible task. Ever since Ueda started to sit next to Nakamaru during meetings, that small distance has proved to be Nakamaru’s one true temptation. Ueda’s smell has permeated Nakamaru’s air, and his once repressed desires. Nakamaru sometimes hangs on Ueda’s every word, but is careful to never fall too deep into his dark eyes, or his thick lips, or his tousled hair. There might have been some slip-ups, but no one’s ever paid too much attention to him, so he forgets about them.
“You’re a bore,” Massu states, which leaves Nakamaru dumbfounded. “Kame said he had so much fun with you at dinner a couple of days ago. Maybe I should have invited Ueda as well."
Kame needs to learn how to shut up too, Nakamaru thinks, a thin line forming on his lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Massu finishes swallowing his piece of gyoza, “I really want to go to your concert to see what all the fuss is about.”
Nakamaru concludes that maybe the reason why band mates never bother to tell each other about their love lives or interests is to avoid interference and embarrassment as much as possible.
***
The concerts come and go without any major problems. The fans enjoy themselves, KAT-TUN enjoys themselves, and Nakamaru figures that’s all he could ask for at the moment.
Later that night, after all their celebrations, finally back at the hotel Nakamaru remembers that moment at the New Year’s countdown where he squeezes in between Ueda and Kame to grab hold of Ueda’s hand. Ueda beams a smile at Nakamaru, partly due to the adrenaline of the concert atmosphere. Nakamaru tries to convince himself it was for him, indulging in the illusion. He doesn’t remember that when he falls asleep there is a smile on his face.
***
The Kusabi events are next on KAT-TUN’s list to do, and Nakamaru has entirely too much fun being paired up into teams for competition, especially when he wins because of Ueda. Until he grows jealous when Ueda is paired up with Taguchi, and after unsurprisingly winning the game corner, Ueda comes up behind Taguchi and gives him a hug so unrestrained they fall and crash hard on the stage as Ueda refuses to let go.
After the wardrobe change, Nakamaru mentions that he went to see the film Eien no Zero, and that everyone should watch it. He had hoped to inspire maybe a hug or anything from Ueda, but Ueda merely thanks him and the talk continues onto other KAT-TUN related things.
It’s better this way, he supposes.
“You wanted it this way,” Kame reminds afterwards.
Nakamaru is not so sure anymore.
***
Nakamaru makes an effort to go to Ueda’s stage play when Kame hands Nakamaru a ticket saying it’s from Ueda. He considers not going mostly because things have gotten hectic on his end, however he really does want to show support, so he sucks it up and goes. Ueda did go through the trouble anyway.
The introduction shows a very lively Ueda. He smiles, and jumps around on his co-star, much like he has been on Taguchi. The pit of his stomach is very much being ignited by jealousy, when they fall to the floor still embracing each other. So Nakamaru pretends to be bored; he yawns mostly and diverts his eyes, he tries -and fails miserably- to ignore everything, his mind in disarray.
He thinks it’s better to leave, but when Ueda appears again with dark bags under his eyes, and his form haggard, and Nakamaru is frozen in his seat. Ueda is totally unrelenting with his performance of a once innocent brother turned into a menacing madman. Ueda’s gestures completely mesmerize Nakamaru, yet he can’t help but feel guilty that Ueda has to continue doing such an overwhelming act of insanity for over the next month. It seems too convincing, and Nakamaru contemplates what else is burdening those shoulders down. However, he absolutely does not feel guilty when he’s actually relieved that Ueda doesn't end up with his female co-star.
The play turns out to be ambiguous in its interpretation, but that’s the least of Nakamaru’s concerns. He applauds at the ending curtain call, acknowledging that Ueda has given a great performance.
He stands hurriedly in hopes of leaving before Ueda can invite him anywhere -he’s not so sure he can handle seeing Ueda at the moment.
As if he read his mind, Ueda texts Nakamaru afterwards not to leave and to meet him backstage.
Nakamaru feels out of place, especially after all the ill feelings he had about his co-stars during the play, but before long Ueda rescues him. Ueda thanks the cast and crew for their hard work and departs with Nakamaru in tow.
“What did you think?” Ueda asks completely interested in his opinion once they’re outside the theater.
“Well, you play the role of a crazy person very naturally, I’ll tell you that much.”
“Right, right, that’s a good note,” Ueda gives a creepy smile. “I saw you yawning a couple of times, so I was worried you might not have like it.”
Funny, Nakamaru thought a little unsettled, he could have sworn he yawned mostly during scenes where Ueda wasn’t present.
“Anyway, that doesn’t really matter,” Ueda diverts his thoughts, “I was surprised when Kamenashi told me you were thinking of coming today so I just had to take a peak, just to see if you did.”
Nakamaru raises an eyebrow at him, slightly confused. He was under the notion that Ueda was the one who invited him. Before Nakamaru can digest Ueda’s comment any further, he hears Ueda complain about how hungry he is, so he figures he’ll save the thought for later.
***
He doesn’t know when he starts to dream about Ueda, but when he does he becomes fearful because they’re not the sappy kind of dreams he would expect to have when one falls in love. His dreams are so vivid that he wakes from his sleep half of the time aroused, usually from Ueda’s lingering touches along his chest. Always along his chest.
When he tells Kame, Kame tells him that if he continues to repress what he really wants, it’s only a matter of time before his body will take over. Kame advises him to just tell Ueda how he feels because Nakamaru is only prolonging his suffering, and ruining Kame’s patience.
“That’s it I’m not listening to you anymore,” Kame still manages a sly smile before Nakamaru pushes him out his apartment and closes the door on him. The nerve of this kid.
Nakamaru doesn’t think it’s as simple as Kame makes it out to be, but he figures it’s worth a shot to slowly attempt to make Ueda notice him.
***
It’s early February when Nakamaru sets his plan in motion. He asks Ueda’s manager for his schedule, and looks for a day off, -a day he knows Ueda is sure to be taking a break from his play. Nakamaru waits for the evening before he asks Taguchi for his spare airsoft rifle that’s simply gathering dust in his closet. Taguchi lends it to him with a smile. That creep. He thanks Taguchi and tows the rifle alongside his favorite rifle, the one Ueda gave him a few years ago, in his car and makes haste to Ueda’s apartment.
After knocking plenty he waits impatiently for Ueda to answer. A couple of seconds later the door opens, and Nakamaru invites himself in without a word. Ueda is about to ask what he’s doing but Nakamaru interrupts him and puts his palm on Ueda’s mouth, which makes Ueda flinch.
“Before you say no, I know this is kind of sudden, but I figured since last time I indulged with your silly game, you could accompany me to a survival…” Nakamaru’s words die in his mouth as he notices Ueda sporting a couple of bruises, recent ones by the looks of it.
He removes his hand and finds a small one near his lip, which explains the flinch. The one near his eye is small, but still visible. Nakamaru drops the rifle cases and grabs for Ueda’s face to bring it closer for inspection. Ueda lets him inspect, but only a little before he pushes Nakamaru’s hands away as heat rises to his cheeks. That heat emanates to Nakamaru from his fingertips, and his fingers soon start to itch for more contact.
They both stand awkwardly and Nakamaru starts to look everywhere except at Ueda. He can’t help but notices bunch of take-out containers of food on Ueda’s kotatsu; nothing really out of the ordinary, but maybe just a little too much for the abyss that is Ueda’s stomach.
“It was just a friendly tussle,” Ueda forces a smile.
“Did you get in another fight with Nishikido?”
“What? No,” Ueda denies immediately. “No, no,” he denies fervently, “we haven’t even done anything to each other in months.”
Nakamaru eyes widen and his jaw drops.
Ueda covers part of his face with his hand, “I didn’t mean it like that. It was just unexpected company,” he explains mysteriously, but Nakamaru doesn’t question further. “So is that the rifle I gave you in the case?” Ueda attempts to salvage the situation.
“Yeah, “Nakamaru remembers why he came and continues, “I was hoping you’d join me in a friendly competition with a couple of other guys.”
Ueda shakes his head and rubs at the back of his neck, “It was purely curiosity, you know.”
“I know,” Nakamaru says, disappointment utterly apparent in his voice. “I just thought…” Nakamaru doesn’t finish his sentence as makes to pick up his dropped case. He doesn’t really know what he was thinking; No girls, means definitely no Ueda.
“You know I suck at almost about everything,” Ueda starts as Nakamaru spares him a look, “so if I get shot on the field, that’s on you Nakamaru Yuichi.”
“I won’t let you get hurt,” Nakamaru states firmly. “Too badly,” he adds with an honest smile.
Ueda smiles, “You better not.” Ueda picks up Taguchi’s case handling it with care.
***
Nakamaru feels the need to mention that the ‘other guys’ he invited were a good chunk of the Hey! Say! JUMP boys once they arrive at the survival game park. Arioka, Yamada, Hikaru, Chinen, and Inoo, who are waiting for both Nakamaru and Ueda at the entrance, state that they thought they had chickened out. Ueda apologizes for Nakamaru, saying he was the reason they’re late.
When they try to decide the group teams, Nakamaru confidently decides that they be in their respective groups, considering he’s got plenty of experience while Ueda is only a novice. The boys deem it fair considering they alone should be enough, and they accept Nakamaru’s challenge, focusing on the sole idea that winning against their formidable sempai would be quite a feat to accomplish.
“You sound a little too confident,” Ueda comments as they start to suit up. The Hey! Say! JUMP team had already taken off in search of a good starting point.
“Worried?” Nakamaru asks with a smug look on his face, all while making sure Ueda’s gear is secure.
“No,” Ueda retorts, “but how am I supposed to help you out when I don’t even know any of the rules, or what exactly to do, or where to go?”
“Relax, you only need me. I’ll tell you everything you have to do, so don’t worry.” Nakamaru puts a hand on his shoulder trying to ease Ueda’s nerves. “Just know that I’m the brains of this operation, and you’re just the brawn.”
Ueda shakes his head with a smile. He then takes a deep breath, “Alright Commander Nakamaru, tell me what I have to do.” He makes the traditional salute towards Nakamaru, and that motivates him even more.
Nakamaru quickly explains the basics, the shortcuts on the field, simple strategies to escape attacks, and camouflage techniques, Ueda paying attention and nodding to his every word. Sure enough after the game starts, Nakamaru and Ueda move with impressive ease through the field.
It doesn’t take them long for them to encounter Hey!Say! JUMP Team. Or to win against them.
The boys were quite spry and remarkable force, but in the end an experienced player, and a crazy, but devoted, gunman like Ueda, were too much for the boys to handle.
In the end Nakamaru and Ueda managed to scrape by with only a few hits, their badassery is unparalleled, Nakamaru admits.
The Hey! Say! JUMP boys still complain that they had an unfair advantage to begin with. They ask Nakamaru to set up a rematch for another day, the boys promising to bring the rest of their group for an actual challenge. Nakamaru is shocked when Ueda’s the one who is accepting their rematch.
***
Nakamaru misses Ueda when he goes to Osaka to finish the remainder of stage play performances. It doesn’t help when he remembers the comment Ueda made about Nishikido. He knows about Ueda’s recent friendship with Maruyama, so he trusts his head to not come up with too many delusional scenarios. He focuses on his work instead, if only to distract himself.
Once Ueda comes back, without much fuss, he texts Nakamaru I’m done! along with a myriad of fist emojis. Nakamaru smiles and congratulates him then proceeds the meeting with his manager concerning a new drama role. He’d much rather be celebrating with Ueda.
Kame’s movie filming ends too, and when he comes back he finds himself disappointed that Nakamaru’s progression. The younger man invites him out for a consolation dinner and toasts to their non-existent romance, and Nakamaru’s new drama, of course.
***
Time passes idly for Nakamaru before he notices it’s already March.
“So a new drama, huh,” Taguchi starts out during their first meeting break for their next upcoming single. Kame is nowhere in sight to digress the conversation as Nakamaru worries where Taguchi is going with that subtle comment. “Looking forward to working along Sawajiri Erika?” He questions annoyingly.
In the seat to his left, Ueda puts his phone down, already absorbed in the conversation.
“It’s not a big deal, I’m happy to work with anyone,” Nakamaru plays it cool. “I’ve only just met her, but she seems like a great person. I haven’t seen too much of her acting, so I think it’ll be refreshing to see how we interact.”
“She was in that drama One Litre of Tears,” Ueda reacts to his answer.
“With Nishikido,” Taguchi exclaims, and they both look at him annoyed, to which Taguchi excuses himself from the conversation.
“Why can’t you say what you really feel?” Ueda asks annoyed.
“What do you mean,” Nakamaru acts dumb.
“I mean everything. The visits, the games, the physical contact. You used to tell me what you were thinking, now all I get is indirect and annoying signals.”
Nakamaru sighs, he really wants to tell Ueda everything, but the fear of rejection is on the tip of his tongue. He bites his lip and exhales, courage bubbling inside, however the words never leave his lips.
Nakamaru’s awaited answer never comes, Ueda only bangs the table before he excuses himself, only to come back once the staff returns and resumes the meeting. He leaves immediately after the meeting finishes, not even bothering to give Nakamaru a look on his way out the door.
***
After many attempted calls that go straight to voicemail, and an unsuccessful visit to Ueda’s apartment, Nakamaru flops down on his bed completely haggard and defeated. He receives a call from Massu that night, inviting him yet again to dinner, but Nakamaru declines. He apologizes explaining that he’s too tired.
“Something happen at work today?” Massu asks coyly.
Nakamaru really isn’t in the mood so he replies that he’s hanging up.
“I actually just wanted to tell you,” Massu manages to say before Nakamaru hangs up, his interest slightly peaking, “that I have an interesting piece of information about Ueda.”
Nakamaru sits up from his bed. “What is it,” he commands impatiently.
“Well,” Massu draws out, grating Nakamaru’s nerves, “I heard from Kame, who heard from Shige, who heard from Maruyama, who heard from Nishikido, who heard from…”
“Masuda, just tell me already or so help me, I’ll refuse to ever treat you to gyoza ever again,” Nakamaru threatens.
“Ueda likes you,” Massu cuts to the chase, “but word is that he’s too shy to tell you unless you say something first.”
“Ueda? …Shy?” Nakamaru asks skeptically. “Are you and I talking about the same Ueda?”
“Hard to believe, huh?”
Massu has no idea, and Nakamaru finds himself yelling into his pillow in frustration.
“I know,” Massu replies, still on the line. “Lucky for you I happen to know where he is.”
***
Massu lets Nakamaru know of a basketball gym Ueda frequents when he’s too pissed off to even go to boxing gym. Massu also mentions that Ueda goes after hours, so he’ll most likely be alone, which ensures them some privacy. But that’s all after Nakamaru promises Massu never to make any food threats against him ever again.
Nakamaru decides to visit the gym, unconcerned about his choice of clothing, leaving as soon as Massu gave him an address, in hopes that he could find Ueda before he left. He finds the gym sure enough, and the door only has a small door stopper that guarantees Nakamaru’s way inside. As he approaches the door he hears the bouncing of a basketball, the rhythm of the bouncing ball strangely matching the pounding of his heart. He summons his courage and opens the door.
Inside, Nakamaru sees Ueda dribbling the ball and shooting it at the hoop. Ueda’s completely focused that he’s startled when Nakamaru calls out for him. Nakamaru holds his hands up in surrender when Ueda turns to him, defenses already in place. Ueda, once he realizes he’s no threat, returns to bouncing the basketball and shooting at the hoop. It actually annoys Nakamaru, so he goes to Ueda and turns him forcefully to face him
“I’m really sorry about these past couple of months,” Nakamaru starts, completely scared Ueda might punch him, or worse, leave him there. “I just,” he closes his hands into fists and yells then grabs at his hair. “This is all your fault!” He points an accusing finger at Ueda.
“My fault?!” Ueda looks visibly angry now, and Nakamaru should probably shut up, but he can’t, not until he tells him all needs to say.
“I love you!” Nakamaru finally says it. Ueda’s anger doesn’t disappear from his face, so Nakamaru presses further. “I really do,” Nakamaru says it softer this time. “Now you know.”
Ueda remains still, Nakamaru notices that his anger visibly starts to deflate, and then Ueda starts to look guilty. “I’ve actually known for a while,” he admits. “Kame told me that Massu told him.”
“Wait, no.” Nakamaru stops him trying to process the situation, “Massu told me that Kame told him,” Nakamaru states confused. “He told me has was told by Kame, who was told by,” Nakamaru is stopped when Ueda starts waving his arm in front of him.
“Stop, please, just stop. You’re actually wrecking my brain. I never told anybody anything. Kame was the one who told me he heard from Massu that you were struggling with your feelings recently, and it all started to make sense.” Ueda looks him in the eyes.
Nakamaru thinks back to the start; the only one who’s known from the beginning was Kame. “Wait, did you ever tell Kame to give me a ticket to see your play? How recent was it he told you about me?”
“No, I never told,” Ueda stops himself, deep in thought. “Son of a bitch,” he states slightly impressed.
“Kame was the one who fought with you, right?” Nakamaru asks though he looks as if he already knows the answer. Ueda looks away,” What did he tell you at that time?”
“He told me the same. That Massu had told him, that someone else told him, that you liked me.”
That explains to Nakamaru why Ueda was trying not to disappoint him when he invited him that day.
Nakamaru realizes that Kame had at some point given himself the role of cupid and Massu was probably just the inconspicuous insider. Taguchi probably had as much too do with it too. They all cleverly gathered information, met with both Nakamaru and Ueda in and out of work and more than likely initiated certain situations, giving Nakamaru and Ueda just the push they needed. Still Nakamaru yells in frustration, because he hates that he never noticed Kame was planning this right under his own nose.
Ueda looks slightly impressed as he grasps the thorough planning that has just been unraveled.
“Knowing my feelings, why did you still go along with it?” asks truly curious, because in his head something still isn’t adding up. He need to know.
“I don’t know, I thought I’d play along, if only to give you some satisfaction.”
“So you really didn’t think that way about me at all,” Nakamaru looks downward as he tries to hide his disappointment.
“At first I thought I thought I didn’t, but then I only wanted to convince myself I hadn’t already been for quite a while.” Nakamaru looks back at him with a glimmer of hope. “Because I thought being close was worth it, and though I hate to admit it, Kame was right, it’s worse.”
“Is that what he told you?”
“Yeah, I hit him, and well,” Ueda slightly smiles and palms the back of his neck, “he hit me back. I fed him and let him stay over, poor guy looked so tired. He kicked my ass the next day when he saw his face in the mirror.” They both laugh.
“So I really am sorry, about everything,” Nakamaru says because he really doesn’t know what else to say. He really doesn’t want to think Ueda only started noticing him because of Kame. “Looks like that guy is never going to let us have it easy.”
“You really are completely hopeless,” Ueda sighs then throws Nakamaru the basketball. He catches it and watches as Ueda steps off to the side. “Alright Nakamaru Yuichi, let me make it easier for you. If you make the shot from the three pointer line, I’ll give you a chance to kiss me.”
“And if I don’t?” Nakamaru starts bouncing the ball.
Ueda shrugs, “You’ll just have to find out.”
Nakamaru walks up to the three pointer line, takes his place as he prepares to shoot. Ueda walks up to his side and watches Nakamaru with a smile, trying to rile him up.
He starts to inhale and exhale, incredibly nervous as he notices his palms sweating. He doesn’t want to think about what may happen if he misses.
Then Nakamaru is thinking again. He wonders for how long Ueda has been watching him too. He
“Just take the damn shot, Yuichi.”
Nakamaru shoots the ball, but before either of the can see the outcome, Nakamaru is pulling his Ueda’s face towards him, forcing the smaller frame to follow. Nakamaru kisses him with so much force, and pent up need, he is unable to contain the burst of heat that sets off in their mouths. With their tongues rolling and breaths merging together, all rationality slowly vanishes in favor of desire. Ueda’s need is just as obvious by the way Nakamaru feels the crook of Ueda’s arm latching onto his neck forcing him down and deeper, his other arm impatiently latches onto his back, pressing their two bodies together. They drink in each other’s moans, and only part once Nakamaru pulls back only because the pressure of Ueda’s hold is causing him to reconsider they take their business to a more suitable spot.
“That was a lucky shot, don’t you think?” Nakamaru laughs breathlessly.
“It was actually a pretty damn good shot,” Ueda admits. “Next time don’t wait so long to make it.”
end
From: azhe
Title: Jumping through Hoops
Pairings/Characters: Nakamaru/Ueda
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Romance-y, implied fights, some bruises, plenty of confusion, stubborn men, and meddlesome members.
Notes: Dear sashjun , the story is reaallly long, but I hope you can still enjoy it!!! Story was mostly inspired by interviews, TV shows, photo shoots that took place from around late last year, and takes place from around then until the somewhat present. Thank you T for the immense support and for beta-ing!
Summary: Nakamaru has never really been good at saying his feelings. But how long can he continue denying them?
“Yo, Earth to Yucci!!” Nakamaru jolts from his thoughts a mid-October morning during concert practice. A smug smile forms on Kame’s lips; it’s too early in the morning for Kame to be staring at him so creepily, Nakamaru thinks. Although, considering he had just been staring, albeit unconsciously, at another certain group member, he figures he shouldn’t judge.
Nakamaru’s mind has been gravitating towards Ueda a lot recently and he really can’t help but stare. He actually doesn’t want to stop, during this period, that’s about all he feels he can do.
“Can you stare any harder?” Kame laughs before he takes a sip from his water bottle.
Oddly enough, even after years of telling himself he should just give up this unrequited love, Nakamaru still feels the attraction. It’s like a moth who can’t keep away from the flame. At this rate he’s sure to be burned.
As he sees Taguchi and Ueda talking lively and smiling, he figures he should be happy that they are still friends that they are all still together, but he still wants more.
You don’t, Nakamaru convinces himself.
Ueda gives a quick glance towards Nakamaru, catching him red-handed. He turns away as casually as he can only to see Kame on the floor, having fallen from his seat at one point from all the laughing. By the time Nakamaru turns back to Ueda, he's focused back on his conversation with Taguchi, probably going over a couple of Basketball techniques judging by the way Ueda moves, Taguchi following suit.
Everything is easier said than done, of course.
***
It’s not like he’s never tried to actually tell Ueda, but rather the sense of familiarity and tranquility they have around each other, their friendship, was something Nakamaru didn’t want to ruin.
“You shouldn’t deny your heart what it wants,” Kame mutters over the phone. It’s one of his rarest of the rare days off. “As cheesy as it sounds, you have the right to a happy life as much as any of us.”
“I think I’d rather keep it a secret for as long as I can, this is Ueda we’re talking about,” Nakamaru pinches the bridge of his nose. “Any chance he gets, he professes his love for mini-skirts, and long beautiful legs, which are attached to women, Kame, not men.”
“Fine, I get your point.” There’s a long pause on the line. “But you’ll never know unless you try.”
So he considers Kame’s advice, because Nakamaru always trusts him give sensible advice when he truly needs it.
“If all else fails, I’d be willing to lend you a couple of miniskirts.”
Nakamaru hangs up on him. Well, most times he gives sensible advice.
Nakamaru makes a mental note to look after Kame a little more.
***
In the end Nakamaru decides not to do anything rash. He takes things at his own, excruciating, pace.
Nakamaru slips back into a sense of comfort. He doesn’t see Ueda too often except at concert rehearsals, magazine shootings, and filming for TV shows. He doesn’t feel any pressure to say anything. After all, Ueda has a lot on his plate at the moment.
It's Ueda who interrupts one of his boring evenings with a text. It's an invitation to Ueda’s house under the guise that he needs entertainment.
Go to the gym, Nakamaru texts back, though part of him wants Ueda to insist he come over. All he gets in return is a sad emoji face, which is all Nakamaru needs before his legs are pulling him out his door.
Once Nakamaru arrives at Ueda’s door, he knocks like any Good Samaritan, only to have no answer. He tries the door and finds it open so he casually walks further into the apartment after toeing off his shoes. Knowing Ueda, Nakamaru thinks he might have just gone to the nearby convenient store for some late night treats and simply left the door open for him.
Nakamaru finds that Ueda’s apartment is engulfed in darkness except for his living room. He’s slightly shaken when Ueda’s dog, Tiko, runs to greet him. Nakamaru crouches down to pet her once relief sinks back in. The feeling is quickly stolen when Ueda jumps out of the darkness, and scares Nakamaru.
“Ueda, what the hell?!” Nakamaru shouts as he tumbles back.
“Hah- hah,” Ueda shouts and points two fake rapier swords at Nakamaru. “En garde, Yuichi!” Ueda proceeds to throw one of the rapiers in Nakamaru’s general direction, which has him fumbling for it, surprised by the sudden action.
“Whoa,” Nakamaru swiftly ducks avoiding Ueda’s swing. “What’s gotten into you?”
Nakamaru understands that Ueda isn’t planning to answer, when he simply continues to swing his sword aggressively. Nakamaru grasps his sword with intention, and when Ueda swings again, Nakamaru manages to successfully deflect his strike. Tiko has made herself a spectator in this whole ordeal, merely watching in amusement from a safe distance as the duel continues.
“Not bad, old man,” Ueda sneers.
Nakamaru can’t help but roll his eyes at the comment. Ueda continues to swing without mercy.
“You know when you asked me to come over for entertainment,” Nakamaru starts in between Ueda’s strikes, “this isn't what I had in mind.”
Ueda catches Nakamaru off guard, and thrusts his rapier, managing to disarm him, sending the sword flying to the other side of the room. Nakamaru stares at Ueda in all his glory as he stands panting and pointing his rapier at him. Nakamaru can’t help but admire his disheveled appearance. Ueda’s hair is down but untidy, and more than a prince he looks like a villain ready to strike right into Nakamaru’s chest. The curve of Ueda’s dominant posture and the smug look on his face as he points the rapier captivates Nakamaru enough to make him fall on his ass.
“So what did you have in mind for entertainment?” Ueda asks after he points his rapier away. He lends a hand to help, and lifts Nakamaru up with ease.
Nakamaru swallows, and clears his throat. “Well,” he ponders. There is one thing, but he had already had this conversation with himself, and things can’t go in that direction.
“Actually,” Ueda drags Nakamaru out from his thoughts, “I guess that’s my fault for misguiding you. I was actually just looking for a distraction,” Ueda says as he picks up the other rapier and proceeds to put them both away.
Ueda heads into the kitchen as Nakamaru makes himself comfortable as he sits down next to Tiko. He mutters Why didn’t you help out? as he pets her. He comes back with two glasses of water and hands one to Nakamaru who gladly accepts it.
As Ueda sits down, Nakamaru knows that something is bothering Ueda by the way his shoulders slump.
“Things didn’t go so well at rehearsals today, so I figured why not take it out on you,” Ueda smiles deviously as if reading Nakamaru’s mind.
“Take it out on your punching bag next time,” Nakamaru frowns.
“A punching bag won’t give me acting tips afterwards.”
“You want acting tips? From me?”
“You are practically a master.”
Nakamaru feels Ueda is alluding to something, but he figures Ueda’s never been clear in what he means, so he ignores it.
“Besides Kame and Taguchi are both off filming their dramas, so you're the only option left.”
“Wait, so am I!” Ueda just laughs. “Well, I don’t know if I could give you any helpful tips,” he says truthfully. “And aren’t you’re focusing on the wrong play, Romeo?”
Ueda pouts at him. Nakamaru shakes his head.
Sure enough though, Nakamaru stays with Ueda. He gives him tips he’s been handed down, and more or less stays longer than he intended to because he likes Ueda’s company. By the time Nakamaru announces that he has to leave, Ueda simply thanks him for being a good sport and for indulging him and his weird games.
***
Things start to get awkward, but only because Nakamaru makes it so, or at least that’s what Kame tells him. He starts to avoid Ueda, except for casual greetings at rehearsals, harmless group chatter during photo shoots, and the usual encounters when hanging out with common friends.
Nakamaru concludes that Kame is an evil genius, but doesn’t tell him, simply because he’s afraid Kame will just take it as a compliment. Kame invites both Nakamaru and Ueda out for dinner. A birthday dinner, Kame claims, since he never got around to give them gifts due to his busy schedule.
The food is expensive looking and tastes extremely good. Ueda finds it suitable enough as he finishes his dish quickly, no surprise there, and suddenly moves in on Nakamaru’s, hoping to grab a quick bite. Nakamaru’s hand moves lighning fast and captures Uedas wrist with a vice grip. Ueda winces from the hold, he tries to retract his hand but is unable.
“Let go,” Ueda commands.
“What if I don’t,” Nakamaru challenges. Ueda stares back with fire in his eyes.
Nakamaru pulls his hand back from Ueda’s wrist not a moment later. Embarrassment creeps into Nakamaru’s cheeks, but he plays it off as he laughs and swallows a drink from his wine glass.
“Putting those Shabekuri tips to good use I see,” Kame muses.
“Guess that really does work,” Nakamaru plays it off calm and cool. He ignores Ueda for the rest of the night that he doesn’t even realize when Ueda rubs at his wrist and looks at Nakamaru for the rest of the night. Nakamaru curses Kamenashi in his head; it seems as though all his current projects are not enough to keep Kamenashi satisfied.
The night ends for the three of them and they all say their goodbye’s as they separate their own ways. Only when Nakamaru gets home does he read on his newly arrived schedule that he has a pair photo shoot with Ueda the next day.
This has to be a joke.
***
It’s not. Nakamaru’s manager picks him up the next afternoon to the photo shoot.
“Please tell me this photo shoot is with Taguchi,” Nakamaru begs.
His manager pats his shoulder and smiles, “Having problems with Ueda?”
Nakamaru arrives at the shoot location at a park, and sees that Ueda has already gotten there much earlier than him. Not long after Nakamaru and Ueda are guided by the staff to change. They are both informed that the theme is An Important Person, and as the staff are aware of their friendship for the past sixteen years, they ask them to take pictures of each other and have fun.
Despite his initial nervousness, Nakamaru relaxes and starts taking pictures of Ueda as he plays with the poodle the staff brought, runs around, and climbs trees.
“You’ve had your fill, now it’s my turn,” Ueda explains as he takes the camera away from Nakamaru and starts taking obscene pictures of his nose.
“You’re too close,” Nakamaru yells as he pushes a cackling Ueda from him.
All awkwardness forgotten, Nakamaru and Ueda continue to unwind, fully enjoying the shoot. Ueda brings out a soccer ball, which lights up Nakamaru’s eyes. He laughs and throws it to Nakamaru who starts to dribble the ball as soon as it lands by his feet. Ueda tries to take the ball away and fails miserably as Nakamaru jukes him.
“Show off,” Ueda pouts.
Nakamaru continues to perform more complicated tricks, and after a couple of minutes he sees Ueda, actively trying to grasp what little concept he can of soccer from watching Nakamaru.
So Nakamaru goes to him and explains to him certain rules and tricks, then demonstrates for Ueda. Nakamaru passes Ueda the ball, and despite trying his best, Ueda has no progress in even the basics. So Nakamaru laughs, earning himself a punch in the arm. Nakamaru only laughs harder.
“You really have no talent,” Nakamaru states with laughter in his voice as Ueda frowns.
The staff take a few more photos and before both Nakamaru and Ueda know the staff dismisses them, thanking them for their hard work.
November comes and goes, undoubtedly like Nakamaru’s courage. So many opportunities lost, but Nakamaru disregards them.
***
December doesn’t postpone more music show performances, talk show guesting, magazine shoots that continue in group, which leaves little to no room for Nakamaru to really talk to Ueda alone, and with Ueda extremely busy with play rehearsals, there’s hardly any chance for them to come together outside of work.
He gets an invitation instead from Massu to dinner, which he accepts because he needs a change of pace. Nakamaru rants to Massu that if he has to listen to Taguchi make one more stupid pun at rehearsal, he might actually stop going. He doesn’t tell Massu the reason is because he had taken a shirt with the U initial, and Taguchi had laughed at him. Taguchi felt the lame need to add, “It’s all for U, isn’t it?” which caused Nakamaru to cough up some of his tea. Nakamaru is thankful that none of the Shuuichi cameramen managed to capture that on film.
“We spoil Taguchi too much,” Nakamaru states, though not angry. “We have always let everyone do as they please.”
“It’s not entirely a bad thing,” Massu says. He always looks at the bright side of things.
“It’s not entirely a good thing.”
Nakamaru thinks about Ueda, and he thinks his words to be true. He’s been trying not to give off vibes of attraction, though he admits it’s been a near impossible task. Ever since Ueda started to sit next to Nakamaru during meetings, that small distance has proved to be Nakamaru’s one true temptation. Ueda’s smell has permeated Nakamaru’s air, and his once repressed desires. Nakamaru sometimes hangs on Ueda’s every word, but is careful to never fall too deep into his dark eyes, or his thick lips, or his tousled hair. There might have been some slip-ups, but no one’s ever paid too much attention to him, so he forgets about them.
“You’re a bore,” Massu states, which leaves Nakamaru dumbfounded. “Kame said he had so much fun with you at dinner a couple of days ago. Maybe I should have invited Ueda as well."
Kame needs to learn how to shut up too, Nakamaru thinks, a thin line forming on his lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Massu finishes swallowing his piece of gyoza, “I really want to go to your concert to see what all the fuss is about.”
Nakamaru concludes that maybe the reason why band mates never bother to tell each other about their love lives or interests is to avoid interference and embarrassment as much as possible.
***
The concerts come and go without any major problems. The fans enjoy themselves, KAT-TUN enjoys themselves, and Nakamaru figures that’s all he could ask for at the moment.
Later that night, after all their celebrations, finally back at the hotel Nakamaru remembers that moment at the New Year’s countdown where he squeezes in between Ueda and Kame to grab hold of Ueda’s hand. Ueda beams a smile at Nakamaru, partly due to the adrenaline of the concert atmosphere. Nakamaru tries to convince himself it was for him, indulging in the illusion. He doesn’t remember that when he falls asleep there is a smile on his face.
***
The Kusabi events are next on KAT-TUN’s list to do, and Nakamaru has entirely too much fun being paired up into teams for competition, especially when he wins because of Ueda. Until he grows jealous when Ueda is paired up with Taguchi, and after unsurprisingly winning the game corner, Ueda comes up behind Taguchi and gives him a hug so unrestrained they fall and crash hard on the stage as Ueda refuses to let go.
After the wardrobe change, Nakamaru mentions that he went to see the film Eien no Zero, and that everyone should watch it. He had hoped to inspire maybe a hug or anything from Ueda, but Ueda merely thanks him and the talk continues onto other KAT-TUN related things.
It’s better this way, he supposes.
“You wanted it this way,” Kame reminds afterwards.
Nakamaru is not so sure anymore.
***
Nakamaru makes an effort to go to Ueda’s stage play when Kame hands Nakamaru a ticket saying it’s from Ueda. He considers not going mostly because things have gotten hectic on his end, however he really does want to show support, so he sucks it up and goes. Ueda did go through the trouble anyway.
The introduction shows a very lively Ueda. He smiles, and jumps around on his co-star, much like he has been on Taguchi. The pit of his stomach is very much being ignited by jealousy, when they fall to the floor still embracing each other. So Nakamaru pretends to be bored; he yawns mostly and diverts his eyes, he tries -and fails miserably- to ignore everything, his mind in disarray.
He thinks it’s better to leave, but when Ueda appears again with dark bags under his eyes, and his form haggard, and Nakamaru is frozen in his seat. Ueda is totally unrelenting with his performance of a once innocent brother turned into a menacing madman. Ueda’s gestures completely mesmerize Nakamaru, yet he can’t help but feel guilty that Ueda has to continue doing such an overwhelming act of insanity for over the next month. It seems too convincing, and Nakamaru contemplates what else is burdening those shoulders down. However, he absolutely does not feel guilty when he’s actually relieved that Ueda doesn't end up with his female co-star.
The play turns out to be ambiguous in its interpretation, but that’s the least of Nakamaru’s concerns. He applauds at the ending curtain call, acknowledging that Ueda has given a great performance.
He stands hurriedly in hopes of leaving before Ueda can invite him anywhere -he’s not so sure he can handle seeing Ueda at the moment.
As if he read his mind, Ueda texts Nakamaru afterwards not to leave and to meet him backstage.
Nakamaru feels out of place, especially after all the ill feelings he had about his co-stars during the play, but before long Ueda rescues him. Ueda thanks the cast and crew for their hard work and departs with Nakamaru in tow.
“What did you think?” Ueda asks completely interested in his opinion once they’re outside the theater.
“Well, you play the role of a crazy person very naturally, I’ll tell you that much.”
“Right, right, that’s a good note,” Ueda gives a creepy smile. “I saw you yawning a couple of times, so I was worried you might not have like it.”
Funny, Nakamaru thought a little unsettled, he could have sworn he yawned mostly during scenes where Ueda wasn’t present.
“Anyway, that doesn’t really matter,” Ueda diverts his thoughts, “I was surprised when Kamenashi told me you were thinking of coming today so I just had to take a peak, just to see if you did.”
Nakamaru raises an eyebrow at him, slightly confused. He was under the notion that Ueda was the one who invited him. Before Nakamaru can digest Ueda’s comment any further, he hears Ueda complain about how hungry he is, so he figures he’ll save the thought for later.
***
He doesn’t know when he starts to dream about Ueda, but when he does he becomes fearful because they’re not the sappy kind of dreams he would expect to have when one falls in love. His dreams are so vivid that he wakes from his sleep half of the time aroused, usually from Ueda’s lingering touches along his chest. Always along his chest.
When he tells Kame, Kame tells him that if he continues to repress what he really wants, it’s only a matter of time before his body will take over. Kame advises him to just tell Ueda how he feels because Nakamaru is only prolonging his suffering, and ruining Kame’s patience.
“That’s it I’m not listening to you anymore,” Kame still manages a sly smile before Nakamaru pushes him out his apartment and closes the door on him. The nerve of this kid.
Nakamaru doesn’t think it’s as simple as Kame makes it out to be, but he figures it’s worth a shot to slowly attempt to make Ueda notice him.
***
It’s early February when Nakamaru sets his plan in motion. He asks Ueda’s manager for his schedule, and looks for a day off, -a day he knows Ueda is sure to be taking a break from his play. Nakamaru waits for the evening before he asks Taguchi for his spare airsoft rifle that’s simply gathering dust in his closet. Taguchi lends it to him with a smile. That creep. He thanks Taguchi and tows the rifle alongside his favorite rifle, the one Ueda gave him a few years ago, in his car and makes haste to Ueda’s apartment.
After knocking plenty he waits impatiently for Ueda to answer. A couple of seconds later the door opens, and Nakamaru invites himself in without a word. Ueda is about to ask what he’s doing but Nakamaru interrupts him and puts his palm on Ueda’s mouth, which makes Ueda flinch.
“Before you say no, I know this is kind of sudden, but I figured since last time I indulged with your silly game, you could accompany me to a survival…” Nakamaru’s words die in his mouth as he notices Ueda sporting a couple of bruises, recent ones by the looks of it.
He removes his hand and finds a small one near his lip, which explains the flinch. The one near his eye is small, but still visible. Nakamaru drops the rifle cases and grabs for Ueda’s face to bring it closer for inspection. Ueda lets him inspect, but only a little before he pushes Nakamaru’s hands away as heat rises to his cheeks. That heat emanates to Nakamaru from his fingertips, and his fingers soon start to itch for more contact.
They both stand awkwardly and Nakamaru starts to look everywhere except at Ueda. He can’t help but notices bunch of take-out containers of food on Ueda’s kotatsu; nothing really out of the ordinary, but maybe just a little too much for the abyss that is Ueda’s stomach.
“It was just a friendly tussle,” Ueda forces a smile.
“Did you get in another fight with Nishikido?”
“What? No,” Ueda denies immediately. “No, no,” he denies fervently, “we haven’t even done anything to each other in months.”
Nakamaru eyes widen and his jaw drops.
Ueda covers part of his face with his hand, “I didn’t mean it like that. It was just unexpected company,” he explains mysteriously, but Nakamaru doesn’t question further. “So is that the rifle I gave you in the case?” Ueda attempts to salvage the situation.
“Yeah, “Nakamaru remembers why he came and continues, “I was hoping you’d join me in a friendly competition with a couple of other guys.”
Ueda shakes his head and rubs at the back of his neck, “It was purely curiosity, you know.”
“I know,” Nakamaru says, disappointment utterly apparent in his voice. “I just thought…” Nakamaru doesn’t finish his sentence as makes to pick up his dropped case. He doesn’t really know what he was thinking; No girls, means definitely no Ueda.
“You know I suck at almost about everything,” Ueda starts as Nakamaru spares him a look, “so if I get shot on the field, that’s on you Nakamaru Yuichi.”
“I won’t let you get hurt,” Nakamaru states firmly. “Too badly,” he adds with an honest smile.
Ueda smiles, “You better not.” Ueda picks up Taguchi’s case handling it with care.
***
Nakamaru feels the need to mention that the ‘other guys’ he invited were a good chunk of the Hey! Say! JUMP boys once they arrive at the survival game park. Arioka, Yamada, Hikaru, Chinen, and Inoo, who are waiting for both Nakamaru and Ueda at the entrance, state that they thought they had chickened out. Ueda apologizes for Nakamaru, saying he was the reason they’re late.
When they try to decide the group teams, Nakamaru confidently decides that they be in their respective groups, considering he’s got plenty of experience while Ueda is only a novice. The boys deem it fair considering they alone should be enough, and they accept Nakamaru’s challenge, focusing on the sole idea that winning against their formidable sempai would be quite a feat to accomplish.
“You sound a little too confident,” Ueda comments as they start to suit up. The Hey! Say! JUMP team had already taken off in search of a good starting point.
“Worried?” Nakamaru asks with a smug look on his face, all while making sure Ueda’s gear is secure.
“No,” Ueda retorts, “but how am I supposed to help you out when I don’t even know any of the rules, or what exactly to do, or where to go?”
“Relax, you only need me. I’ll tell you everything you have to do, so don’t worry.” Nakamaru puts a hand on his shoulder trying to ease Ueda’s nerves. “Just know that I’m the brains of this operation, and you’re just the brawn.”
Ueda shakes his head with a smile. He then takes a deep breath, “Alright Commander Nakamaru, tell me what I have to do.” He makes the traditional salute towards Nakamaru, and that motivates him even more.
Nakamaru quickly explains the basics, the shortcuts on the field, simple strategies to escape attacks, and camouflage techniques, Ueda paying attention and nodding to his every word. Sure enough after the game starts, Nakamaru and Ueda move with impressive ease through the field.
It doesn’t take them long for them to encounter Hey!Say! JUMP Team. Or to win against them.
The boys were quite spry and remarkable force, but in the end an experienced player, and a crazy, but devoted, gunman like Ueda, were too much for the boys to handle.
In the end Nakamaru and Ueda managed to scrape by with only a few hits, their badassery is unparalleled, Nakamaru admits.
The Hey! Say! JUMP boys still complain that they had an unfair advantage to begin with. They ask Nakamaru to set up a rematch for another day, the boys promising to bring the rest of their group for an actual challenge. Nakamaru is shocked when Ueda’s the one who is accepting their rematch.
***
Nakamaru misses Ueda when he goes to Osaka to finish the remainder of stage play performances. It doesn’t help when he remembers the comment Ueda made about Nishikido. He knows about Ueda’s recent friendship with Maruyama, so he trusts his head to not come up with too many delusional scenarios. He focuses on his work instead, if only to distract himself.
Once Ueda comes back, without much fuss, he texts Nakamaru I’m done! along with a myriad of fist emojis. Nakamaru smiles and congratulates him then proceeds the meeting with his manager concerning a new drama role. He’d much rather be celebrating with Ueda.
Kame’s movie filming ends too, and when he comes back he finds himself disappointed that Nakamaru’s progression. The younger man invites him out for a consolation dinner and toasts to their non-existent romance, and Nakamaru’s new drama, of course.
***
Time passes idly for Nakamaru before he notices it’s already March.
“So a new drama, huh,” Taguchi starts out during their first meeting break for their next upcoming single. Kame is nowhere in sight to digress the conversation as Nakamaru worries where Taguchi is going with that subtle comment. “Looking forward to working along Sawajiri Erika?” He questions annoyingly.
In the seat to his left, Ueda puts his phone down, already absorbed in the conversation.
“It’s not a big deal, I’m happy to work with anyone,” Nakamaru plays it cool. “I’ve only just met her, but she seems like a great person. I haven’t seen too much of her acting, so I think it’ll be refreshing to see how we interact.”
“She was in that drama One Litre of Tears,” Ueda reacts to his answer.
“With Nishikido,” Taguchi exclaims, and they both look at him annoyed, to which Taguchi excuses himself from the conversation.
“Why can’t you say what you really feel?” Ueda asks annoyed.
“What do you mean,” Nakamaru acts dumb.
“I mean everything. The visits, the games, the physical contact. You used to tell me what you were thinking, now all I get is indirect and annoying signals.”
Nakamaru sighs, he really wants to tell Ueda everything, but the fear of rejection is on the tip of his tongue. He bites his lip and exhales, courage bubbling inside, however the words never leave his lips.
Nakamaru’s awaited answer never comes, Ueda only bangs the table before he excuses himself, only to come back once the staff returns and resumes the meeting. He leaves immediately after the meeting finishes, not even bothering to give Nakamaru a look on his way out the door.
***
After many attempted calls that go straight to voicemail, and an unsuccessful visit to Ueda’s apartment, Nakamaru flops down on his bed completely haggard and defeated. He receives a call from Massu that night, inviting him yet again to dinner, but Nakamaru declines. He apologizes explaining that he’s too tired.
“Something happen at work today?” Massu asks coyly.
Nakamaru really isn’t in the mood so he replies that he’s hanging up.
“I actually just wanted to tell you,” Massu manages to say before Nakamaru hangs up, his interest slightly peaking, “that I have an interesting piece of information about Ueda.”
Nakamaru sits up from his bed. “What is it,” he commands impatiently.
“Well,” Massu draws out, grating Nakamaru’s nerves, “I heard from Kame, who heard from Shige, who heard from Maruyama, who heard from Nishikido, who heard from…”
“Masuda, just tell me already or so help me, I’ll refuse to ever treat you to gyoza ever again,” Nakamaru threatens.
“Ueda likes you,” Massu cuts to the chase, “but word is that he’s too shy to tell you unless you say something first.”
“Ueda? …Shy?” Nakamaru asks skeptically. “Are you and I talking about the same Ueda?”
“Hard to believe, huh?”
Massu has no idea, and Nakamaru finds himself yelling into his pillow in frustration.
“I know,” Massu replies, still on the line. “Lucky for you I happen to know where he is.”
***
Massu lets Nakamaru know of a basketball gym Ueda frequents when he’s too pissed off to even go to boxing gym. Massu also mentions that Ueda goes after hours, so he’ll most likely be alone, which ensures them some privacy. But that’s all after Nakamaru promises Massu never to make any food threats against him ever again.
Nakamaru decides to visit the gym, unconcerned about his choice of clothing, leaving as soon as Massu gave him an address, in hopes that he could find Ueda before he left. He finds the gym sure enough, and the door only has a small door stopper that guarantees Nakamaru’s way inside. As he approaches the door he hears the bouncing of a basketball, the rhythm of the bouncing ball strangely matching the pounding of his heart. He summons his courage and opens the door.
Inside, Nakamaru sees Ueda dribbling the ball and shooting it at the hoop. Ueda’s completely focused that he’s startled when Nakamaru calls out for him. Nakamaru holds his hands up in surrender when Ueda turns to him, defenses already in place. Ueda, once he realizes he’s no threat, returns to bouncing the basketball and shooting at the hoop. It actually annoys Nakamaru, so he goes to Ueda and turns him forcefully to face him
“I’m really sorry about these past couple of months,” Nakamaru starts, completely scared Ueda might punch him, or worse, leave him there. “I just,” he closes his hands into fists and yells then grabs at his hair. “This is all your fault!” He points an accusing finger at Ueda.
“My fault?!” Ueda looks visibly angry now, and Nakamaru should probably shut up, but he can’t, not until he tells him all needs to say.
“I love you!” Nakamaru finally says it. Ueda’s anger doesn’t disappear from his face, so Nakamaru presses further. “I really do,” Nakamaru says it softer this time. “Now you know.”
Ueda remains still, Nakamaru notices that his anger visibly starts to deflate, and then Ueda starts to look guilty. “I’ve actually known for a while,” he admits. “Kame told me that Massu told him.”
“Wait, no.” Nakamaru stops him trying to process the situation, “Massu told me that Kame told him,” Nakamaru states confused. “He told me has was told by Kame, who was told by,” Nakamaru is stopped when Ueda starts waving his arm in front of him.
“Stop, please, just stop. You’re actually wrecking my brain. I never told anybody anything. Kame was the one who told me he heard from Massu that you were struggling with your feelings recently, and it all started to make sense.” Ueda looks him in the eyes.
Nakamaru thinks back to the start; the only one who’s known from the beginning was Kame. “Wait, did you ever tell Kame to give me a ticket to see your play? How recent was it he told you about me?”
“No, I never told,” Ueda stops himself, deep in thought. “Son of a bitch,” he states slightly impressed.
“Kame was the one who fought with you, right?” Nakamaru asks though he looks as if he already knows the answer. Ueda looks away,” What did he tell you at that time?”
“He told me the same. That Massu had told him, that someone else told him, that you liked me.”
That explains to Nakamaru why Ueda was trying not to disappoint him when he invited him that day.
Nakamaru realizes that Kame had at some point given himself the role of cupid and Massu was probably just the inconspicuous insider. Taguchi probably had as much too do with it too. They all cleverly gathered information, met with both Nakamaru and Ueda in and out of work and more than likely initiated certain situations, giving Nakamaru and Ueda just the push they needed. Still Nakamaru yells in frustration, because he hates that he never noticed Kame was planning this right under his own nose.
Ueda looks slightly impressed as he grasps the thorough planning that has just been unraveled.
“Knowing my feelings, why did you still go along with it?” asks truly curious, because in his head something still isn’t adding up. He need to know.
“I don’t know, I thought I’d play along, if only to give you some satisfaction.”
“So you really didn’t think that way about me at all,” Nakamaru looks downward as he tries to hide his disappointment.
“At first I thought I thought I didn’t, but then I only wanted to convince myself I hadn’t already been for quite a while.” Nakamaru looks back at him with a glimmer of hope. “Because I thought being close was worth it, and though I hate to admit it, Kame was right, it’s worse.”
“Is that what he told you?”
“Yeah, I hit him, and well,” Ueda slightly smiles and palms the back of his neck, “he hit me back. I fed him and let him stay over, poor guy looked so tired. He kicked my ass the next day when he saw his face in the mirror.” They both laugh.
“So I really am sorry, about everything,” Nakamaru says because he really doesn’t know what else to say. He really doesn’t want to think Ueda only started noticing him because of Kame. “Looks like that guy is never going to let us have it easy.”
“You really are completely hopeless,” Ueda sighs then throws Nakamaru the basketball. He catches it and watches as Ueda steps off to the side. “Alright Nakamaru Yuichi, let me make it easier for you. If you make the shot from the three pointer line, I’ll give you a chance to kiss me.”
“And if I don’t?” Nakamaru starts bouncing the ball.
Ueda shrugs, “You’ll just have to find out.”
Nakamaru walks up to the three pointer line, takes his place as he prepares to shoot. Ueda walks up to his side and watches Nakamaru with a smile, trying to rile him up.
He starts to inhale and exhale, incredibly nervous as he notices his palms sweating. He doesn’t want to think about what may happen if he misses.
Then Nakamaru is thinking again. He wonders for how long Ueda has been watching him too. He
“Just take the damn shot, Yuichi.”
Nakamaru shoots the ball, but before either of the can see the outcome, Nakamaru is pulling his Ueda’s face towards him, forcing the smaller frame to follow. Nakamaru kisses him with so much force, and pent up need, he is unable to contain the burst of heat that sets off in their mouths. With their tongues rolling and breaths merging together, all rationality slowly vanishes in favor of desire. Ueda’s need is just as obvious by the way Nakamaru feels the crook of Ueda’s arm latching onto his neck forcing him down and deeper, his other arm impatiently latches onto his back, pressing their two bodies together. They drink in each other’s moans, and only part once Nakamaru pulls back only because the pressure of Ueda’s hold is causing him to reconsider they take their business to a more suitable spot.
“That was a lucky shot, don’t you think?” Nakamaru laughs breathlessly.
“It was actually a pretty damn good shot,” Ueda admits. “Next time don’t wait so long to make it.”
end