FIC FOR NINTYSKY
For: nintysky
From: sugiex
Title: 一年後 ~One Year Later~
Pairing/Characters: 4nin!KAT-TUN; ninja pairings if you squint
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Notes: Dear nintysky, I’m not quite sure if this is what you’re hoping for so I apologise if it isn’t. Nonetheless, I do wish you’ll enjoy it ♥ Many thanks to C who didn’t abandon me despite the numerous technical difficulties you were fraught with and to the mods who were so patient with me.
Summary: Kamenashi counts the seasons that go by.
Spring
His eyes were watering and his nose wouldn’t stop itching but Kamenashi chose to remain sitting by the veranda. Here’s where breakfast tastes the best, he thought as he fought back a sneeze. It’s also where he felt the most awful during this season.
“Coffee?”
Kamenashi smiled and accepted the warm mug with thanks. The weather had yet to thaw and it was still chilly in the morning. He watched with slight amusement as Nakamaru, huddled in a sweater and scarf in his own home, set the sugar cubes and milk down on the dainty tea table between them. The table looked horribly out of place in his sleek apartment and it came as a surprise when Nakamaru agreed he’ll keep it. Oh the memories, Kamenashi reminisced silently as a smile crept onto his face. It was something they had built together as an activity to take his mind off of certain disheartening matters (Nakamaru’s proposition of all things, how sweet).
Nakamaru offered neither sugar nor milk as he crossed his legs and settled on the seat next to him, tea in hand instead.
“Why so selfish?” Kamenashi teased as he took a sip. Black and rich, just the way he liked it. His throat felt better with his much needed morning concoction already.
“You like to corrode your stomach in the mornings,” Nakamaru answered simply as he looked on the sleepy ward of Minato-ku. The flowers were in full bloom, decorating the otherwise dull streets. Kamenashi was never a fan of ohanami for obvious reasons and he wondered why Nakamaru would even invite him for such a session.
The quiet moment was broken when the vile odour of something burning replaced the aroma of the Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee that Nakamaru kept around just for him. Kamenashi laughed as Nakamaru darted out of his veranda in a futile attempt to save the pancakes. It’s probably too late if smoke had started spewing, and Kamenashi wondered why the fire alarm hadn’t sounded. When Nakamaru failed to return in a few minutes, Kamenashi set his mug down and stepped into the living room to investigate for himself.
From the living room, the kitchen was a hazy mess yet Nakamaru was bent over his kitchen counter, hands busying with something on a plate. Kamenashi couldn’t see much in the poor visibility but he had a good hunch as to why Nakamaru had asked him over afterall. He skipped into the kitchen, frisky.
“What are you doing Yuicchi~” he hummed as he draped an arm over the other’s shoulder. The gesture always made Nakamaru’s ears go red without fail and Kamenashi found it a funny enough sight that he never saw the need to break the habit. He leaned in obnoxiously when the usual response wasn’t elicited and surprisingly, his teammate refused to spare him any attention, strangely concentrated on the task at hand.
Kamenashi peered over Nakamaru to have a better look at his opponent for Nakamaru’s attention.
It was several pancakes (strangely fine and survivors of the unfortunate fire hazard) with rather crisp edges stacked neatly on a large oval plate. Frosting, icing and swirly pink cream - enough to make Kamenashi cringe - decorated its corners. Strawberries with the cutest icing faces and blueberries sat proudly on the topmost layer of the pancakes. There’s a gingerbread man placed beside the pancakes and Nakamaru was painstakingly writing “Happy Birthday Kaz-” using chocolate along the diameter of the plate. Maybe he’ll admit defeat. The entire assemble was rather adorably put together.
“The K is distorted.”
“You rested your weight on me.”
“I’m not that heavy.”
Nakamaru stopped responding as he started on the letter ‘u’. Letting out a slight whine, Kamenashi left Nakamaru alone to work on the remaining three letters. He knew his fellow group member was one who folds under stress and he didn’t want his name to become unrecognizable. Perhaps he’ll play with Choco for a while; there’s not much to do in Nakamaru’s house anyway. Pondering on which aspects Choco resembled Ran-chan in would take some time too.
He’s scratching Choco between the ears in Nakamaru’s study room when he heard Nakamaru exclaiming “Happy Birthday Kame!” It’s followed by an embarrassed and soft “Kame?” and Kamenashi gave his location away by exploding into laughter.
“I should have known you would avoid the pollen,” Nakamaru sulked a little as he set the plate on his study desk. “Happy birthday Kame! I know this is a little late but you have been so busy filming. It wasn’t easy to get you over.”
“Thank you Yucchi,” Kamenashi beamed. “But you could have dropped by my house with a bottle of wine or something. Anytime.”
“I’ll… keep that in mind.”
“But your efforts are still the best.” Kamenashi added with a wink. Thankful for the lack of candles (being reminded of your age when you’re an idol can be painful), he gave Nakamaru a hug and proceeded to lift the gingerbread man up. Kamenashi frowned when he discovered there was nothing underneath.
“Yucchi?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you forget something?”
“Why, is there supposed to be something there?”
Kamenashi nodded fervently.
“No couple necklaces or rings?”
Nakamaru groaned.
“It’s been a year since ‘Ima Kao'. Give me a break will you?"
"I honestly thought it was a good idea. Ueda did too. And Taguchi. Everyone thought it was a splendid idea."
"You're pulling my leg, aren't you?"
"We all chipped in for the idea that strangely didn't fare. Till now, I still think it's great."
Nakamaru raised a quizzical eyebrow. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully before shooing Kamenashi out of his room. "Maybe it's just not a hit with the girls," he murmured under his breath before instructing Kamenashi to wait at the veranda.
Kamenashi sneezed with much unhappiness as the door clicked shut in his face. Having the pollen’s but not Nakamaru’s company didn't make very much sense. Nonetheless, he went back to his coffee abandoned earlier and grumbled when the cold coffee slid down his throat. It didn’t even cross his mind to give up on the drink. After all, it would be rude to turn down the efforts of someone who didn’t even like the strong scent of these beans.
Kamenashi was busy fiddling with the mug’s handle, contented with the warm periodic nuzzling against his cold feet (Choco is such a kind lady, unlike her owner) when Nakamaru returned. “Can you pretend you’ve never seen the pancakes?” he awkwardly requested and Kamenashi complied, not before laughing his socks off. But the embarrassment wasn’t enough to deter Nakamaru to repeat his delivery of a birthday song and to present the intricately crafted pancake platter.
“Do I get a gift now?”
Nakamaru let out a low hum and Kamenashi elbowed him playfully out of excitement. He prepared his best look of glee and joy but his needn’t have bothered. When he lifted the cookie this time, it was genuine delight that showed on his expression - a pair of sterling silver skull rings, both fitted with stunning onyx stones. They were more than enough to make his day. Days, in fact.
“Really? Couple rings?” Kamenashi gushed as he tried one of them on. “Oh, a perfect fit!” he exclaimed jubilantly as he held his hand up and appreciated the silver skull sitting snugly on his finger. He’s spilling thanks and expressing his elation till he realised that Nakamaru was simply watching by the sidelines, looking pleased.
“Yucchi, why aren’t you putting on the other?”
“I’m over that phase,” he answered with a laugh. “They’re both for you. They don’t even fit my fingers.”
Kamenashi narrowed his eyes.
“You aren’t even wearing argyle of late.”
“What has this got to do with anything?”
“Am I losing you Yucchi?”
“Well, that escalated quickly but I don’t think so.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You don’t even know what I’m thanking you for.”
“I do,” Nakamaru insisted.
“How do you know? I'm not even sure myself.”
“A feeling." There was a pause before Nakamaru tried again, "It's unexplainable."
Kamenashi raised a quizzical eyebrow, unconvinced but not eager to pursue the issue. Wearing both rings, he proceeded to savour the pancakes. If anything, Nakamaru was an expert in making them. Maybe that’s the only thing that distinguished Nakamaru from the average joe, Kamenashi thought with a snigger. Despite so, Kamenashi knew there wasn’t anything wrong in being ordinary like Nakamaru. Because his inner tranquillity and stability was what Kamenashi appreciated more than anything in a person. Just like spring, it wasn't the thousands of flowers and short-lived blossoms that made many fall in love with the season. It's the gentle breezes that promised better times to come.
Nakamaru truly didn't need any accessories unlike himself.
And that's why he liked being around the older man.
"Thank you for sticking around," he mumbled in between bites.
Nakamaru smiled. "I know."
*
Summer
Like a blaze of fire, Ueda consumed everything in his path. He would leave nothing but ashes behind, always going head on without sparing a thought for others. When misunderstandings arose, Ueda was no more eloquent than a pre-schooler in explaining himself. The explosive fights which had ensued were often for naught and Kamenashi had been involved in a fair share of such needless scuffles. Maybe that's because Ueda was as obstinate as the stifling heat, prevalent and slowly ebbing away one's patience.
It took years before Ueda could properly justify why he was unable to cover for Nakamaru's mistake during their pre-debut days. That was the extent of Ueda's capabilities in clearing up the air.
Even after having known Ueda for years, Kamenashi won't reckon himself as having the power to tame Ueda; the other man was too strong and hot-headed and Kamenashi never wants to go back to the past where blood and tears are shed after each confrontation. He did gain the ability to sway Ueda's opinion though. Slowly but surely like the gentle breeze that would eventually quell the scorching flames. Time, too, played a part by mellowing Ueda's temper. Talking became a plausible way out before a deadlock was reached. This usually meant fewer arguments and more smiles among the group. And Kamenashi liked it more that way. Ueda did too, Kamenashi could tell. Because in summer, the aloof one actually took the initiative to approach him for a trip.
"Let's go to the beach," the text read and Kamenashi checked twice to ensure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. "I learnt swimming so I'm finally accepting your invitation. You can teach me surfing."
Kamenashi quirked his eyebrows as he tried to recall the time he made such an offer. It must have been years ago, during the No More Pain Taiwan concert when Ueda broke a toe. He said and promised many things that night when Ueda had trouble falling asleep in a foreign environment, in a hospital no less. In the lengthy text messages they exchanged, Kamenashi figured he merely said that as an encouragement for Ueda to have a quick recovery; Kamenashi hadn’t meant it as an ‘official’ offer. But that's no reason to turn Ueda down and it was flattering to know that Ueda had remembered it all this while. Anyway, Kamenashi knew Ueda well enough to know that "no" wouldn’t be considered an answer when Ueda wanted something.
It didn’t take long for Ueda to respond. His reply contained nothing but a date, a day when Kamenashi conveniently happened to be free. Kamenashi also received a concerned message from his manager, enquiring if he knew why Ueda would need his schedule out of the blue.
“Nothing much,” he assured. “We wouldn’t be making headlines.”
It was but a simple surfing trip. That's what Kamenashi thought till Ueda pulled up below his condominium complex with a blue solio, the back seats collapsed for a larger boot. How bare the car was did pull a little on Kamenashi's heartstrings. They used to be five filming a commercial together for this model. Now he was the only one, surrounded with strangers in a struggling bid to look enthusiastic and jubilant.
The rolling down of windows and a curt "did you just decide that standing on the curb is going to be your new hobby?" jolted Kamenashi out of his thoughts.
"No, but it wouldn't have killed for you to say 'morning Kame'," he grumbled as he stored his surfboard safely in the space behind. After easing himself into the passenger seat, he continued. "Just so you remember Ueda, I'm your surf instructor today. Beware I drown you instead."
"You wouldn't because you’re a stickler for the safety rules," the retort came coolly.
It's an undeniable fact and since he didn't want to plunge from an idol to a murderer, he conceded with a nod.
"Why so chatty today though?" Kamenashi queried with a laugh. Banter was never harmless in the past. It's a milestone that no fists were exchanged when they do so now.
"Isn’t it obvious? We’re actually going out to play. No cameras, no care for image maintenance, we have money, no boats involved and it's not at an unearthly hour. Simply put, today is going to be a happy day."
"I see you have some complains about our variety show last winter."
"Sub zero temperatures and the cold is not exactly my thing."
Kamenashi looked out of the car window. A nearly cloudless blue, blue sky.
Summer.
"Yeah, I can tell."
If Ueda had heard his words, he chose not to respond. Instead, he reached out for the radio and started fiddling with the many dials. Kamenashi wondered if that marked the end of their conversation.
"Where did you get the car?"
"I loaned it from your manager. Mine has been sent for maintenance. Which is rather unfortunate or we would have reached our destination in half the time."
As if driving with sunglasses, poor eyesight and being a bad driver in general wasn't dangerous enough. Kamenashi was thankful for the condition of Ueda's car.
They were driving along the highway when a familiar voice rang through the stereos. The theme song for hangout started playing and Ueda let out a cackle. The car swerved slightly to the left and Kamenashi clung on to the dashboard.
"I recorded it last week. I wanted to free my schedule up."
"How does it feel hearing your own voice?"
"Definitely not as thrilled as Taguchi when he tunes in to Tagtune."
"Hello everyone, this is KAT-TUN's Kamenashi Kazuya. Ah, isn't the year simply flying by? Before I realised, it's summer already. The hay fever season is finally over so ‘yayyy’. What have I been doing this month? Hmmm... Recently, Ueda-kun invited me to surf and I was rather surprised. I went 'Eh, really? Ueda-kun wants to hang out at the beach?' since the impression I have of him is that he'll rather spend his time in a boxing gym honing up his skills..."
"I didn't know our conversation was that interesting."
"What did you expect me to have said? Ueda texted me and I said ‘ok’? No one is tuning in to listen to my otherwise bland life"
"...It's going to be a really fun trip so I'm looking forward to that. And now, this is KAT-TUN's song, Kusabi.”
As the familiar melody and "more than secret" resounded within the four walls of the vehicle, Kamenashi hummed alongside Ueda. How long had it been since he took time out of his schedule to organize or partake in a road trip?
They drove on for a good few hours, singing along to the radio from the golden oldies to the latest pop hits and practicing the hand actions of a random AKB song (till Kamenashi chided Ueda that he should probably concentrate on the wheel). In between, Ueda pulled up at a random petrol kiosk, bought too much beer for them to finish (“deciding how to get back be damned, we’ll just stay over at some place” Ueda reasoned and Kamenashi complained that that was a pretty short-sighted decision but agreed to it anyway, because beer was sacred) and finished their lunch of instant ramen as well.
“Surprise surprise, no one is rushing up to snap photos of you eating lunch at a combini.”
“Back at you, Ueda. We’re in the middle of nowhere, for heaven’s sake.”
It took a little more time before they reached a secluded beach, the salty air a welcoming sign. It came well-furnished with a shack that had everything from water sports equipment to food. Ueda said he had rented it for the rest of the day and they were free to do anything they wanted, away from the prying eyes of the public. There’s even a volleyball net a distance away that had Kamenashi suggesting “let’s have a match like during our junior days.”
Kamenashi hardly remembered the skills and techniques taught to him when he was young but if his memory was failing, Ueda's was worse. The match ended prematurely when a ball connected with Ueda square in the face, much to Kamenashi's dismay.
“I thought you’re really good with dodging?” Kamenashi tried his best to contain his laughter. “I mean, you dodged the table tennis balls effortlessly on screen.”
Ueda scowled and fumbled for his spectacles in his back pocket.
“I demand for a rematch.”
With a smirk, Kamenashi ran back to the car to retrieve his surfboard. “I’ll take it as your loss,” he shouted across the beach. Dashing into the shack for a quick change, Kamenashi emerged ready for the sea. The sun hung high and shone brightly on the sand as the strong waves crashed against the shore. It was a perfect day for surfing and Kamenashi couldn’t possibly waste it all on smacking balls (intentionally or not) towards Ueda’s face.
There’s a snort of displeasure before Ueda followed suit, picking his surfboard from the variety of choices available at the shack. Kamenashi didn’t think it would be advisable for a complete beginner to pick up a shortboard but as the saying goes, “toss someone into the deep-end of the pool and he’ll learn how to swim.” He’ll tell Ueda that when he fails to ride on the waves and plunge straight into the waters.
It’ll be a funny sight to watch.
“Out of everyone, why did you invite me?” Kamenashi asked right before they hit the waves.
“Because you know how to surf.”
Ueda completed his statement with a cryptic smile that made Kamenashi wonder if it was wrong of him to not warn Ueda for using an unsuitable board.
Maybe he’ll tell Ueda about it after he fails once. Seeing him stranded and floundering in the waters should be rather entertaining. He'll deal with the guilt just fine.
*
Autumn
Taguchi traversed the passion of summer, and the cold of winter.
In the mornings when everyone was yet asleep, his greetings shone like the sun; bright, and unrelenting in its intensity. Taguchi demanded for attention like a child, but sometimes one wonders if all the brightness was a farce to hide something colder, darker. Nonetheless, he never showed his dark side, merely bringing it out from others on days when he was too loud and obnoxious.
Nakamaru seemed to be his prime victim even after his complaints on Cream Stew’s show, Taguchi noisily bellowing at him with a morning greeting when the poor man simply wasn’t ready. In response, Nakamaru sent him death glares. This day was no different.
“Cut him some slack Taguchi, Yucchi doesn’t even drink coffee. Warming up your system without caffeine is simply -”
Oh bother. Kamenashi regretted his decision to intervene when Taguchi took notice of his presence and started walking towards him.
“Ohayou Kazuya~”
Kamenashi absconded with his coffee to Nakamaru’s side, safely protected by the oldest member’s grouchiness. He wasn't in the mood and had little intention to partake in the ruckus. There’s only one member left in the dressing room and Kamenashi wondered which scenario it would be today. Ueda was a mysterious creature even in his thirties, which meant Taguchi would either get “Go away Taguchi. Stop buzzing around me” or a beating.
Of course, there was also the possibility that Ueda would simply grunt and sleep on as the make-up artists busied themselves with fixing his eyebrows. Today was one of those days, thankfully. It was still too early for the craziness to happen.
“Come on guys, we need to raise our tension for the photo shoot later,” Taguchi exclaimed with all eagerness and enthusiasm. Nakamaru flinched while Kamenashi concentrated on his coffee. “We’re all the way out in Kyoto, surrounded by the brilliance of momiji. We can’t just waste it on… simply resting here. Besides Ueda, we’re all done for hair and make-up. Want to go momoji viewing?”
“I’ll pass,” Nakamaru answered without a thought and Kamenashi was about to reply likewise when he saw the hopefulness in Taguchi’s eyes. Sighing, Kamenashi finished the last sip of his coffee and got off the sofa. Taguchi reciprocated with a smile that could possibly brighten up the gloomiest of days; it was pretty worthwhile.
“We’ll be back before shooting begins,” Kamenashi reassured the staff members as he grabbed his coat and left.
Once out along the momiji trail, the taller man fell silent, fully appreciating the swirling myriad of colours from gold to auburn dotting the trees. In such quieter moments, Kamenashi reckoned Taguchi could be winter too. No one had seen him truly angry; there were only times when he came close. Winter was only kept at bay because he had always been more of summer, with his gags and easy laughter.
“What are you thinking of, Taguchi?”
“Things. Many things.” The man laughed. “I want to do this every day when I retire,” he added as an afterthought while they strolled on. When Kamenashi shivered, Taguchi graciously loaned him his scarf without a word and escorted him back to the dressing room. Kamenashi kept the scarf on throughout the shoot and Taguchi didn’t ask for it back, choosing instead to fidget and jump around the location to keep himself warm.
“Forgotten something?” Kamenashi held out the scarf in his hands. Taguchi hesitated for a moment before pulling Kamenashi aside.
“Yeah, I need to tell you something,” he lowered his pitch, eyes doing a quick sweep round the room to ensure that no one was listening in. “I have a surprise planned for both Nakamaru and Ueda.”
Kamenashi’s ears pricked in interest.
“I ordered a giant cake that reads ‘Happy Birthday, old men Yucchi and Uebo!’ and I need you to light the candles when I bring out the cake after dinner. You bring your lighter along all the time, don’t you? Also, do you have any presents?”
“I bought Yucchi a new kind of cologne that would go so much better with his personality than his current one and Ueda a calligraphy practice set.”
“I’m not sure both of them would appreciate their gifts.”
“Someone who has decided to write ‘old men’ on their cake have no rights to question my selection of presents for them,” Kamenashi grinned. “I’m pretty sure this is going to be an interesting dinner celebration.”
“Hopefully no one brings violence to the table.”
With that, Taguchi left for his turn with the photographer. And somehow, Kamenashi never remembered to return the taller man his scarf till the shoot was completed.
It’s rare for KAT-TUN to be fully present for dinner when the usual was to rush off for the next shoot or prepare for something scheduled the next morning. Tucked snugly in a small family restaurant famous for their nabe, it didn’t take long for Ueda to selfishly finish all the food before Nakamaru had his fair share. Kamenashi was snickering unhelpfully at Nakamaru’s sorry plight when Taguchi excused himself for the washroom, a cue that it was time to bring the cake out. As Nakamaru and Ueda bickered over the last piece of chicken uncovered from the depths of the hotpot, Kamenashi slipped out.
It was a giant cream cake with a picture of the two older members together, crafted out of fondue and chocolate. Kamenashi would describe it as a disgustingly sweetening (and fattening) cake which only Ueda and Nakamaru could tolerate and possibly love but since it wasn’t his birthday but theirs, he’ll say that’s a wonderful choice. While placing the candles, Kamenashi resisted the temptation to stick one on Nakamaru’s nose.
As expected, Ueda was immediately offended about being called ‘old’ while Nakamaru just accepted it graciously. His gift to Ueda was met with a lack of thanks as well and Kamenashi tagged him as an ungrateful prick. More beer went around after the cake was served and before midnight, they decided they had to go or they might never make it back to the hotel.
“The shinkansen leaves for Tokyo at nine in the morning. Wake up on time, alright?” Kamenashi instructed as they retired to their respective rooms, weary and ready for bed. Yet after his lengthy ofuru session and complicated beauty regime, Kamenashi found himself impossibly awake and unable to sleep. He bought himself a completely new and utterly useless (but sounded too amazing to pass) vacuum machine from the commercial shopping channels and even studied a script he brought along to occupy his time on the shinkansen but none was able to lull him to sleep. Contemplating if he should reach for his sleeping pills, he was disrupted by a knock on the door.
“Hey Kazuya, still awake?”
A glance at the clock told him that it’s 4 in the morning and he should be asleep but he answered the door anyway. Kamenashi predicted he was doomed to a sleepless night with Taguchi around.
“What do you want Taguchi? I made a wager with Yucchi that Ueda wouldn’t stir when the alarm goes off. I don’t want to be the one who oversleeps instead.”
“At least I’ll be with you?” Taguchi offered. “I took lots of photos during dinner and I couldn’t stop looking through them. I thought it would be even greater to share it with someone...”
“And that’s why you’re in my room?” Kamenashi completed the sentence with a question.
“Am I intruding on something?”
“Only my sleep time which I’m clearly unable to utilize because of insomnia.”
“Great,” Taguchi took that as an ‘okay’ to jump onto his bed, tuck himself in and whip out his camera. He patted the spot next to him. “If you’re worried about not being able to wake up the next morning, I’ll be your personal alarm. I’m used to going without sleep when I game and I don’t really have anything on the next day besides laundry. Not to mention, I don’t have as much work going on at the moment as you do so I can say I’m more well-rested and in a pretty good condition.”
“Really?”
“Yup,” he agreed with a beam and waved an exceptionally unflattering photo of Nakamaru. Kamenashi scooted to join Taguchi on the bed.
“When did you capture such shots?”
“I bid my time and waited.”
Kamenashi narrowed his eyes and wondered how many of his awful actions were now immortalised in Taguchi’s phone. As they went through the photos and had bouts of uproar and laughter, Kamenashi found himself nodding off on Taguchi’s shoulder and eventually drifted to sleep.
Maybe Kamenashi had always likened Taguchi to autumn, because he's most comfortable to be with, neither too hot nor cold.
*
Winter
Kamenashi carefully studied the flakes of snow falling from the skies above.
How unexpected.
Pulling the fur hood over his head, he held his coat even tighter to him than before. Yet despite his gloves and the layers of clothes he had bundled himself in, he couldn't stop the chill from seeping into his bones. His boots sunk into the soft slush beneath his feet.
That's nothing good about this bitter cold, Kamenashi decided as he ploughed on, a nagging thought of dislike at the back of his mind. He frowned at the bare trees and pitied the trembling strays. It had been a rather unfortunate day - the licence for the location shoot was not approved in time - and Kamenashi was dismissed from work even before any form of progress was made for the Suzuki commercial. He could have seen it as a tiny blessing to be able to have Christmas to himself for the first time but rescheduling is always a pain and that made him disgruntled.
It wasn't at all intentional but the scowl on his face frightened passer bys as they shied away from his path. It wasn't relief either when he reached his apartment because it was not in the least bit inviting in this wretched weather. His floor was icy to his feet, providing not even the essential warmth a home should possess; the air around him frosty, no different from the streets.
The click of the shutting door that echoed along his silent doorway as Kamenashi wriggled out of his shoes was no more comforting.
Dropping his keys into a holder, Kamenashi hesitated as his fingers roamed around the walls for the switch; did it made any sense to switch on the lights when you weren't expecting anyone nor intended to do anything? Instead, he reached for the lighter in his breast pocket and shuffled around in the dark, seeking out for the candles he had bought some time ago.
Navigating his way in the dark was quite the chore but eventually Kamenashi found himself in the kitchen, deciding to get a drink. The place was softly illuminated by the signal lights on his refrigerator, making it much easier for navigation. While reaching for the beer, he had a change of heart and decided that wine might go better with the candles when he finally does find them.
His wine was nowhere near the refrigerator yet Kamenashi refused to reach for the lights. His actions had strangely morphed into an unagreed battle with the darkness and Kamenashi had little intention to lose. He stumbled his way to his wine cooler, toes stubbing against cunning chair and table legs hidden in the shadows. Kamenashi thought he heard a giggle but it must have been the pain getting to his head. He was pretty certain of now owning several swollen toes when he finally did reach for his wine. He hadn't even started on his search for the wine opener.
Maybe he should have ditched all plans right from the start and just slept on the couch. However, Kamenashi felt stubborn today and refused to throw in the towel. He continued feeling his way around till he was finally on his couch with lit scented candles framing the edges of his table and wisps of aroma curling around the area.
It was all very romantic as Kamenashi popped the cork on the bottle and poured himself some wine. Settling comfortably with a glass in his hands, he closed his eyes and -
"Hey."
The hot breaths behind his back startled him no less than the sudden greeting. There's a pair of strong arms wrapped around his neck affectionately and Kamenashi trusted the uninvited guest well enough to lean into his touch.
"Guess who~?" The person whispered into Kamenashi's ears, voice sultry with the intention to tease. Kamenashi chuckled and closed his eyes.
"Junno."
"How offensive."
"I didn't say I would play along for the answers," Kamenashi mumbled, head rested on the other's shoulders. "You had fun playing break in and I should not condone such behaviour. It's not right to drop by without a word, and watch me make a spectacle of myself without offering help."
In the next instance, the shoulder was gone and Ueda appeared in his view. He took a seat on the other side of the couch, folded his arms, and huffed.
“You’re such a petty person.”
Kamenashi fought back the urge to laugh. Ueda was a black pot; the cheek he had to grumble.
“Why are you even here?” Kamenashi inquired, hand reaching for the glass of wine His actions were unfortunately stopped by Ueda. He looked at the other man for answers but given the poor lighting in his house at the moment, it was impossible to make out Ueda’s features, much less expression.
“Not ‘you’,” Ueda mused aloud. “‘We’ would be a better choice of word. Anyway, stay sober.”
“We?”
Ueda nodded. Before Kamenashi could continue with his questioning, a boisterous voice cut through their conversation. “Merry Christmas Kazuya!” was the only warning he received before he was enveloped in a tight embrace.
“Taguchi!”
“No, Junno,” Taguchi corrected before releasing his grip and making himself comfortable in the space between Kamenashi and Ueda. The faint glow of the candles reflected the excitement shining in his eyes and Kamenashi felt himself getting increasingly mystified. Did he invite everyone for a Christmas gathering in one of his drunken stupors? It was unlikely seeing as he was supposed to be working. Moreover, the lack of lights did not justify his hunch and Kamenashi’s mind sought for an alternative.
“Kazuya, a penny for your thoughts?”
“My thoughts should be very obvious at the moment, don’t play dumb.” Kamenashi clicks his tongue absentmindedly. “Yucchi can just show up and we can get this party going.”
“What party?” Taguchi asked quizzically. He hurriedly pulled Ueda to the side, voices low despite what seemed like a heated argument going on. A few moments later, Taguchi exclaimed that “we should have prepared something!” which was followed by the untimely arrival of Nakamaru who blurted “what is Kame doing home at this hour” and “why didn’t you inform me about the change of plans?”
It’s all very confusing but Kamenashi figured it could be one of those haphazardly put together let’s-surprise-Kazuya-from-time-to-time-to-make-him-feel-more-loved-than-he-already-is plans that Taguchi liked to host in his apartment without warning or even consent.
“Well, I’m waiting,” Kamenashi chortled and got up to switch the lights on. The mood was already all wrong anyway for a whimsical wine appreciation session by himself. He snuffed out the candles as well.
“Well… You have been looking like scrooge’s little brother ever since winter hit with all your aching problems so we thought we should cheer you up,” Taguchi said with a dazzling smile. “But there’s no party involved.”
“Then what were you guys planning on doing in the dark?” Kamenashi frowned but there was no heat in his voice. “I’m not expecting anything so everyone can just sit down and I don’t know, make yourselves at home which you were already doing prior to Yucchi’s arrival.”
Ueda snorted while Taguchi merely laughed. Nakamaru heaved a visible sign of relief.
“Shuichi’s filming ran overtime. Hi Kame,” he waved before taking the seat Taguchi previously occupied. Awkward silence ensued and Kamenashi wondered if that was his cue to say something more.
“Well, now that everyone is gathered, are we supposed to do something together?”
“I think Taguchi could be harbouring the ambitious intentions of cheering you up with his mere presence and maybe our companionship,” Ueda concluded with a shrug.
“Companionship,” Kamenashi carefully pronounced. A smirk crept up upon his face. “What kind?”
“Oh, all kinds,” Ueda sighed happily but was met with Nakamaru’s violent objection. Nakamaru’s ears were flushed red as he spluttered and tried to explain that they just wanted to make Kamenashi feel at home and show him that winter wasn’t all about the cold and being alone.
“You hate the chilly winds so we thought we should drop by and show you how winter might be cold but festive gatherings would warm your heart,” Taguchi smiled affectionately. “Don’t go sitting in the dark.”
“How long did you take to come up with such a sentence?”
“You wound me with your false accusations, Kazuya,” Taguchi attempted to pout but Kamenashi decided to wipe that look off by tossing the nearest pillow on his couch at the other’s face. Taguchi chose to feign injury (“such close proximity and with the force of an ace pitcher!” Taguchi cried as he fell backwards on the couch) and Nakamaru and Ueda joined in to stop the taller man from being overly dramatic.
It could have been a slip up (or Taguchi’s revenge) when a stray pillow hit Kamenashi square in the face too and before long, a full-fledged pillow war broke out in his living room. The simple rule of “you pay for what you break” was shouted amidst the warfare even though Kamenashi doubted their ability or willingness to acknowledge it.
When Kamenashi saw his bedroom pillow flying into the fray, he knew his plans of lying on bed and watching his home-installed galaxy system had to be abandoned.
At least the bitter feelings towards winter were gone together with his plans of being alone.
“今 過ぎ去った 季節 を 数え 一人きり の 夜 何 を 思う?
You're not all alone anymore 一人 じゃ ない” - Precious One, KAT-TUN
From: sugiex
Title: 一年後 ~One Year Later~
Pairing/Characters: 4nin!KAT-TUN; ninja pairings if you squint
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Notes: Dear nintysky, I’m not quite sure if this is what you’re hoping for so I apologise if it isn’t. Nonetheless, I do wish you’ll enjoy it ♥ Many thanks to C who didn’t abandon me despite the numerous technical difficulties you were fraught with and to the mods who were so patient with me.
Summary: Kamenashi counts the seasons that go by.
Spring
His eyes were watering and his nose wouldn’t stop itching but Kamenashi chose to remain sitting by the veranda. Here’s where breakfast tastes the best, he thought as he fought back a sneeze. It’s also where he felt the most awful during this season.
“Coffee?”
Kamenashi smiled and accepted the warm mug with thanks. The weather had yet to thaw and it was still chilly in the morning. He watched with slight amusement as Nakamaru, huddled in a sweater and scarf in his own home, set the sugar cubes and milk down on the dainty tea table between them. The table looked horribly out of place in his sleek apartment and it came as a surprise when Nakamaru agreed he’ll keep it. Oh the memories, Kamenashi reminisced silently as a smile crept onto his face. It was something they had built together as an activity to take his mind off of certain disheartening matters (Nakamaru’s proposition of all things, how sweet).
Nakamaru offered neither sugar nor milk as he crossed his legs and settled on the seat next to him, tea in hand instead.
“Why so selfish?” Kamenashi teased as he took a sip. Black and rich, just the way he liked it. His throat felt better with his much needed morning concoction already.
“You like to corrode your stomach in the mornings,” Nakamaru answered simply as he looked on the sleepy ward of Minato-ku. The flowers were in full bloom, decorating the otherwise dull streets. Kamenashi was never a fan of ohanami for obvious reasons and he wondered why Nakamaru would even invite him for such a session.
The quiet moment was broken when the vile odour of something burning replaced the aroma of the Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee that Nakamaru kept around just for him. Kamenashi laughed as Nakamaru darted out of his veranda in a futile attempt to save the pancakes. It’s probably too late if smoke had started spewing, and Kamenashi wondered why the fire alarm hadn’t sounded. When Nakamaru failed to return in a few minutes, Kamenashi set his mug down and stepped into the living room to investigate for himself.
From the living room, the kitchen was a hazy mess yet Nakamaru was bent over his kitchen counter, hands busying with something on a plate. Kamenashi couldn’t see much in the poor visibility but he had a good hunch as to why Nakamaru had asked him over afterall. He skipped into the kitchen, frisky.
“What are you doing Yuicchi~” he hummed as he draped an arm over the other’s shoulder. The gesture always made Nakamaru’s ears go red without fail and Kamenashi found it a funny enough sight that he never saw the need to break the habit. He leaned in obnoxiously when the usual response wasn’t elicited and surprisingly, his teammate refused to spare him any attention, strangely concentrated on the task at hand.
Kamenashi peered over Nakamaru to have a better look at his opponent for Nakamaru’s attention.
It was several pancakes (strangely fine and survivors of the unfortunate fire hazard) with rather crisp edges stacked neatly on a large oval plate. Frosting, icing and swirly pink cream - enough to make Kamenashi cringe - decorated its corners. Strawberries with the cutest icing faces and blueberries sat proudly on the topmost layer of the pancakes. There’s a gingerbread man placed beside the pancakes and Nakamaru was painstakingly writing “Happy Birthday Kaz-” using chocolate along the diameter of the plate. Maybe he’ll admit defeat. The entire assemble was rather adorably put together.
“The K is distorted.”
“You rested your weight on me.”
“I’m not that heavy.”
Nakamaru stopped responding as he started on the letter ‘u’. Letting out a slight whine, Kamenashi left Nakamaru alone to work on the remaining three letters. He knew his fellow group member was one who folds under stress and he didn’t want his name to become unrecognizable. Perhaps he’ll play with Choco for a while; there’s not much to do in Nakamaru’s house anyway. Pondering on which aspects Choco resembled Ran-chan in would take some time too.
He’s scratching Choco between the ears in Nakamaru’s study room when he heard Nakamaru exclaiming “Happy Birthday Kame!” It’s followed by an embarrassed and soft “Kame?” and Kamenashi gave his location away by exploding into laughter.
“I should have known you would avoid the pollen,” Nakamaru sulked a little as he set the plate on his study desk. “Happy birthday Kame! I know this is a little late but you have been so busy filming. It wasn’t easy to get you over.”
“Thank you Yucchi,” Kamenashi beamed. “But you could have dropped by my house with a bottle of wine or something. Anytime.”
“I’ll… keep that in mind.”
“But your efforts are still the best.” Kamenashi added with a wink. Thankful for the lack of candles (being reminded of your age when you’re an idol can be painful), he gave Nakamaru a hug and proceeded to lift the gingerbread man up. Kamenashi frowned when he discovered there was nothing underneath.
“Yucchi?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you forget something?”
“Why, is there supposed to be something there?”
Kamenashi nodded fervently.
“No couple necklaces or rings?”
Nakamaru groaned.
“It’s been a year since ‘Ima Kao'. Give me a break will you?"
"I honestly thought it was a good idea. Ueda did too. And Taguchi. Everyone thought it was a splendid idea."
"You're pulling my leg, aren't you?"
"We all chipped in for the idea that strangely didn't fare. Till now, I still think it's great."
Nakamaru raised a quizzical eyebrow. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully before shooing Kamenashi out of his room. "Maybe it's just not a hit with the girls," he murmured under his breath before instructing Kamenashi to wait at the veranda.
Kamenashi sneezed with much unhappiness as the door clicked shut in his face. Having the pollen’s but not Nakamaru’s company didn't make very much sense. Nonetheless, he went back to his coffee abandoned earlier and grumbled when the cold coffee slid down his throat. It didn’t even cross his mind to give up on the drink. After all, it would be rude to turn down the efforts of someone who didn’t even like the strong scent of these beans.
Kamenashi was busy fiddling with the mug’s handle, contented with the warm periodic nuzzling against his cold feet (Choco is such a kind lady, unlike her owner) when Nakamaru returned. “Can you pretend you’ve never seen the pancakes?” he awkwardly requested and Kamenashi complied, not before laughing his socks off. But the embarrassment wasn’t enough to deter Nakamaru to repeat his delivery of a birthday song and to present the intricately crafted pancake platter.
“Do I get a gift now?”
Nakamaru let out a low hum and Kamenashi elbowed him playfully out of excitement. He prepared his best look of glee and joy but his needn’t have bothered. When he lifted the cookie this time, it was genuine delight that showed on his expression - a pair of sterling silver skull rings, both fitted with stunning onyx stones. They were more than enough to make his day. Days, in fact.
“Really? Couple rings?” Kamenashi gushed as he tried one of them on. “Oh, a perfect fit!” he exclaimed jubilantly as he held his hand up and appreciated the silver skull sitting snugly on his finger. He’s spilling thanks and expressing his elation till he realised that Nakamaru was simply watching by the sidelines, looking pleased.
“Yucchi, why aren’t you putting on the other?”
“I’m over that phase,” he answered with a laugh. “They’re both for you. They don’t even fit my fingers.”
Kamenashi narrowed his eyes.
“You aren’t even wearing argyle of late.”
“What has this got to do with anything?”
“Am I losing you Yucchi?”
“Well, that escalated quickly but I don’t think so.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You don’t even know what I’m thanking you for.”
“I do,” Nakamaru insisted.
“How do you know? I'm not even sure myself.”
“A feeling." There was a pause before Nakamaru tried again, "It's unexplainable."
Kamenashi raised a quizzical eyebrow, unconvinced but not eager to pursue the issue. Wearing both rings, he proceeded to savour the pancakes. If anything, Nakamaru was an expert in making them. Maybe that’s the only thing that distinguished Nakamaru from the average joe, Kamenashi thought with a snigger. Despite so, Kamenashi knew there wasn’t anything wrong in being ordinary like Nakamaru. Because his inner tranquillity and stability was what Kamenashi appreciated more than anything in a person. Just like spring, it wasn't the thousands of flowers and short-lived blossoms that made many fall in love with the season. It's the gentle breezes that promised better times to come.
Nakamaru truly didn't need any accessories unlike himself.
And that's why he liked being around the older man.
"Thank you for sticking around," he mumbled in between bites.
Nakamaru smiled. "I know."
*
Summer
Like a blaze of fire, Ueda consumed everything in his path. He would leave nothing but ashes behind, always going head on without sparing a thought for others. When misunderstandings arose, Ueda was no more eloquent than a pre-schooler in explaining himself. The explosive fights which had ensued were often for naught and Kamenashi had been involved in a fair share of such needless scuffles. Maybe that's because Ueda was as obstinate as the stifling heat, prevalent and slowly ebbing away one's patience.
It took years before Ueda could properly justify why he was unable to cover for Nakamaru's mistake during their pre-debut days. That was the extent of Ueda's capabilities in clearing up the air.
Even after having known Ueda for years, Kamenashi won't reckon himself as having the power to tame Ueda; the other man was too strong and hot-headed and Kamenashi never wants to go back to the past where blood and tears are shed after each confrontation. He did gain the ability to sway Ueda's opinion though. Slowly but surely like the gentle breeze that would eventually quell the scorching flames. Time, too, played a part by mellowing Ueda's temper. Talking became a plausible way out before a deadlock was reached. This usually meant fewer arguments and more smiles among the group. And Kamenashi liked it more that way. Ueda did too, Kamenashi could tell. Because in summer, the aloof one actually took the initiative to approach him for a trip.
"Let's go to the beach," the text read and Kamenashi checked twice to ensure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. "I learnt swimming so I'm finally accepting your invitation. You can teach me surfing."
Kamenashi quirked his eyebrows as he tried to recall the time he made such an offer. It must have been years ago, during the No More Pain Taiwan concert when Ueda broke a toe. He said and promised many things that night when Ueda had trouble falling asleep in a foreign environment, in a hospital no less. In the lengthy text messages they exchanged, Kamenashi figured he merely said that as an encouragement for Ueda to have a quick recovery; Kamenashi hadn’t meant it as an ‘official’ offer. But that's no reason to turn Ueda down and it was flattering to know that Ueda had remembered it all this while. Anyway, Kamenashi knew Ueda well enough to know that "no" wouldn’t be considered an answer when Ueda wanted something.
It didn’t take long for Ueda to respond. His reply contained nothing but a date, a day when Kamenashi conveniently happened to be free. Kamenashi also received a concerned message from his manager, enquiring if he knew why Ueda would need his schedule out of the blue.
“Nothing much,” he assured. “We wouldn’t be making headlines.”
It was but a simple surfing trip. That's what Kamenashi thought till Ueda pulled up below his condominium complex with a blue solio, the back seats collapsed for a larger boot. How bare the car was did pull a little on Kamenashi's heartstrings. They used to be five filming a commercial together for this model. Now he was the only one, surrounded with strangers in a struggling bid to look enthusiastic and jubilant.
The rolling down of windows and a curt "did you just decide that standing on the curb is going to be your new hobby?" jolted Kamenashi out of his thoughts.
"No, but it wouldn't have killed for you to say 'morning Kame'," he grumbled as he stored his surfboard safely in the space behind. After easing himself into the passenger seat, he continued. "Just so you remember Ueda, I'm your surf instructor today. Beware I drown you instead."
"You wouldn't because you’re a stickler for the safety rules," the retort came coolly.
It's an undeniable fact and since he didn't want to plunge from an idol to a murderer, he conceded with a nod.
"Why so chatty today though?" Kamenashi queried with a laugh. Banter was never harmless in the past. It's a milestone that no fists were exchanged when they do so now.
"Isn’t it obvious? We’re actually going out to play. No cameras, no care for image maintenance, we have money, no boats involved and it's not at an unearthly hour. Simply put, today is going to be a happy day."
"I see you have some complains about our variety show last winter."
"Sub zero temperatures and the cold is not exactly my thing."
Kamenashi looked out of the car window. A nearly cloudless blue, blue sky.
Summer.
"Yeah, I can tell."
If Ueda had heard his words, he chose not to respond. Instead, he reached out for the radio and started fiddling with the many dials. Kamenashi wondered if that marked the end of their conversation.
"Where did you get the car?"
"I loaned it from your manager. Mine has been sent for maintenance. Which is rather unfortunate or we would have reached our destination in half the time."
As if driving with sunglasses, poor eyesight and being a bad driver in general wasn't dangerous enough. Kamenashi was thankful for the condition of Ueda's car.
They were driving along the highway when a familiar voice rang through the stereos. The theme song for hangout started playing and Ueda let out a cackle. The car swerved slightly to the left and Kamenashi clung on to the dashboard.
"I recorded it last week. I wanted to free my schedule up."
"How does it feel hearing your own voice?"
"Definitely not as thrilled as Taguchi when he tunes in to Tagtune."
"Hello everyone, this is KAT-TUN's Kamenashi Kazuya. Ah, isn't the year simply flying by? Before I realised, it's summer already. The hay fever season is finally over so ‘yayyy’. What have I been doing this month? Hmmm... Recently, Ueda-kun invited me to surf and I was rather surprised. I went 'Eh, really? Ueda-kun wants to hang out at the beach?' since the impression I have of him is that he'll rather spend his time in a boxing gym honing up his skills..."
"I didn't know our conversation was that interesting."
"What did you expect me to have said? Ueda texted me and I said ‘ok’? No one is tuning in to listen to my otherwise bland life"
"...It's going to be a really fun trip so I'm looking forward to that. And now, this is KAT-TUN's song, Kusabi.”
As the familiar melody and "more than secret" resounded within the four walls of the vehicle, Kamenashi hummed alongside Ueda. How long had it been since he took time out of his schedule to organize or partake in a road trip?
They drove on for a good few hours, singing along to the radio from the golden oldies to the latest pop hits and practicing the hand actions of a random AKB song (till Kamenashi chided Ueda that he should probably concentrate on the wheel). In between, Ueda pulled up at a random petrol kiosk, bought too much beer for them to finish (“deciding how to get back be damned, we’ll just stay over at some place” Ueda reasoned and Kamenashi complained that that was a pretty short-sighted decision but agreed to it anyway, because beer was sacred) and finished their lunch of instant ramen as well.
“Surprise surprise, no one is rushing up to snap photos of you eating lunch at a combini.”
“Back at you, Ueda. We’re in the middle of nowhere, for heaven’s sake.”
It took a little more time before they reached a secluded beach, the salty air a welcoming sign. It came well-furnished with a shack that had everything from water sports equipment to food. Ueda said he had rented it for the rest of the day and they were free to do anything they wanted, away from the prying eyes of the public. There’s even a volleyball net a distance away that had Kamenashi suggesting “let’s have a match like during our junior days.”
Kamenashi hardly remembered the skills and techniques taught to him when he was young but if his memory was failing, Ueda's was worse. The match ended prematurely when a ball connected with Ueda square in the face, much to Kamenashi's dismay.
“I thought you’re really good with dodging?” Kamenashi tried his best to contain his laughter. “I mean, you dodged the table tennis balls effortlessly on screen.”
Ueda scowled and fumbled for his spectacles in his back pocket.
“I demand for a rematch.”
With a smirk, Kamenashi ran back to the car to retrieve his surfboard. “I’ll take it as your loss,” he shouted across the beach. Dashing into the shack for a quick change, Kamenashi emerged ready for the sea. The sun hung high and shone brightly on the sand as the strong waves crashed against the shore. It was a perfect day for surfing and Kamenashi couldn’t possibly waste it all on smacking balls (intentionally or not) towards Ueda’s face.
There’s a snort of displeasure before Ueda followed suit, picking his surfboard from the variety of choices available at the shack. Kamenashi didn’t think it would be advisable for a complete beginner to pick up a shortboard but as the saying goes, “toss someone into the deep-end of the pool and he’ll learn how to swim.” He’ll tell Ueda that when he fails to ride on the waves and plunge straight into the waters.
It’ll be a funny sight to watch.
“Out of everyone, why did you invite me?” Kamenashi asked right before they hit the waves.
“Because you know how to surf.”
Ueda completed his statement with a cryptic smile that made Kamenashi wonder if it was wrong of him to not warn Ueda for using an unsuitable board.
Maybe he’ll tell Ueda about it after he fails once. Seeing him stranded and floundering in the waters should be rather entertaining. He'll deal with the guilt just fine.
*
Autumn
Taguchi traversed the passion of summer, and the cold of winter.
In the mornings when everyone was yet asleep, his greetings shone like the sun; bright, and unrelenting in its intensity. Taguchi demanded for attention like a child, but sometimes one wonders if all the brightness was a farce to hide something colder, darker. Nonetheless, he never showed his dark side, merely bringing it out from others on days when he was too loud and obnoxious.
Nakamaru seemed to be his prime victim even after his complaints on Cream Stew’s show, Taguchi noisily bellowing at him with a morning greeting when the poor man simply wasn’t ready. In response, Nakamaru sent him death glares. This day was no different.
“Cut him some slack Taguchi, Yucchi doesn’t even drink coffee. Warming up your system without caffeine is simply -”
Oh bother. Kamenashi regretted his decision to intervene when Taguchi took notice of his presence and started walking towards him.
“Ohayou Kazuya~”
Kamenashi absconded with his coffee to Nakamaru’s side, safely protected by the oldest member’s grouchiness. He wasn't in the mood and had little intention to partake in the ruckus. There’s only one member left in the dressing room and Kamenashi wondered which scenario it would be today. Ueda was a mysterious creature even in his thirties, which meant Taguchi would either get “Go away Taguchi. Stop buzzing around me” or a beating.
Of course, there was also the possibility that Ueda would simply grunt and sleep on as the make-up artists busied themselves with fixing his eyebrows. Today was one of those days, thankfully. It was still too early for the craziness to happen.
“Come on guys, we need to raise our tension for the photo shoot later,” Taguchi exclaimed with all eagerness and enthusiasm. Nakamaru flinched while Kamenashi concentrated on his coffee. “We’re all the way out in Kyoto, surrounded by the brilliance of momiji. We can’t just waste it on… simply resting here. Besides Ueda, we’re all done for hair and make-up. Want to go momoji viewing?”
“I’ll pass,” Nakamaru answered without a thought and Kamenashi was about to reply likewise when he saw the hopefulness in Taguchi’s eyes. Sighing, Kamenashi finished the last sip of his coffee and got off the sofa. Taguchi reciprocated with a smile that could possibly brighten up the gloomiest of days; it was pretty worthwhile.
“We’ll be back before shooting begins,” Kamenashi reassured the staff members as he grabbed his coat and left.
Once out along the momiji trail, the taller man fell silent, fully appreciating the swirling myriad of colours from gold to auburn dotting the trees. In such quieter moments, Kamenashi reckoned Taguchi could be winter too. No one had seen him truly angry; there were only times when he came close. Winter was only kept at bay because he had always been more of summer, with his gags and easy laughter.
“What are you thinking of, Taguchi?”
“Things. Many things.” The man laughed. “I want to do this every day when I retire,” he added as an afterthought while they strolled on. When Kamenashi shivered, Taguchi graciously loaned him his scarf without a word and escorted him back to the dressing room. Kamenashi kept the scarf on throughout the shoot and Taguchi didn’t ask for it back, choosing instead to fidget and jump around the location to keep himself warm.
“Forgotten something?” Kamenashi held out the scarf in his hands. Taguchi hesitated for a moment before pulling Kamenashi aside.
“Yeah, I need to tell you something,” he lowered his pitch, eyes doing a quick sweep round the room to ensure that no one was listening in. “I have a surprise planned for both Nakamaru and Ueda.”
Kamenashi’s ears pricked in interest.
“I ordered a giant cake that reads ‘Happy Birthday, old men Yucchi and Uebo!’ and I need you to light the candles when I bring out the cake after dinner. You bring your lighter along all the time, don’t you? Also, do you have any presents?”
“I bought Yucchi a new kind of cologne that would go so much better with his personality than his current one and Ueda a calligraphy practice set.”
“I’m not sure both of them would appreciate their gifts.”
“Someone who has decided to write ‘old men’ on their cake have no rights to question my selection of presents for them,” Kamenashi grinned. “I’m pretty sure this is going to be an interesting dinner celebration.”
“Hopefully no one brings violence to the table.”
With that, Taguchi left for his turn with the photographer. And somehow, Kamenashi never remembered to return the taller man his scarf till the shoot was completed.
It’s rare for KAT-TUN to be fully present for dinner when the usual was to rush off for the next shoot or prepare for something scheduled the next morning. Tucked snugly in a small family restaurant famous for their nabe, it didn’t take long for Ueda to selfishly finish all the food before Nakamaru had his fair share. Kamenashi was snickering unhelpfully at Nakamaru’s sorry plight when Taguchi excused himself for the washroom, a cue that it was time to bring the cake out. As Nakamaru and Ueda bickered over the last piece of chicken uncovered from the depths of the hotpot, Kamenashi slipped out.
It was a giant cream cake with a picture of the two older members together, crafted out of fondue and chocolate. Kamenashi would describe it as a disgustingly sweetening (and fattening) cake which only Ueda and Nakamaru could tolerate and possibly love but since it wasn’t his birthday but theirs, he’ll say that’s a wonderful choice. While placing the candles, Kamenashi resisted the temptation to stick one on Nakamaru’s nose.
As expected, Ueda was immediately offended about being called ‘old’ while Nakamaru just accepted it graciously. His gift to Ueda was met with a lack of thanks as well and Kamenashi tagged him as an ungrateful prick. More beer went around after the cake was served and before midnight, they decided they had to go or they might never make it back to the hotel.
“The shinkansen leaves for Tokyo at nine in the morning. Wake up on time, alright?” Kamenashi instructed as they retired to their respective rooms, weary and ready for bed. Yet after his lengthy ofuru session and complicated beauty regime, Kamenashi found himself impossibly awake and unable to sleep. He bought himself a completely new and utterly useless (but sounded too amazing to pass) vacuum machine from the commercial shopping channels and even studied a script he brought along to occupy his time on the shinkansen but none was able to lull him to sleep. Contemplating if he should reach for his sleeping pills, he was disrupted by a knock on the door.
“Hey Kazuya, still awake?”
A glance at the clock told him that it’s 4 in the morning and he should be asleep but he answered the door anyway. Kamenashi predicted he was doomed to a sleepless night with Taguchi around.
“What do you want Taguchi? I made a wager with Yucchi that Ueda wouldn’t stir when the alarm goes off. I don’t want to be the one who oversleeps instead.”
“At least I’ll be with you?” Taguchi offered. “I took lots of photos during dinner and I couldn’t stop looking through them. I thought it would be even greater to share it with someone...”
“And that’s why you’re in my room?” Kamenashi completed the sentence with a question.
“Am I intruding on something?”
“Only my sleep time which I’m clearly unable to utilize because of insomnia.”
“Great,” Taguchi took that as an ‘okay’ to jump onto his bed, tuck himself in and whip out his camera. He patted the spot next to him. “If you’re worried about not being able to wake up the next morning, I’ll be your personal alarm. I’m used to going without sleep when I game and I don’t really have anything on the next day besides laundry. Not to mention, I don’t have as much work going on at the moment as you do so I can say I’m more well-rested and in a pretty good condition.”
“Really?”
“Yup,” he agreed with a beam and waved an exceptionally unflattering photo of Nakamaru. Kamenashi scooted to join Taguchi on the bed.
“When did you capture such shots?”
“I bid my time and waited.”
Kamenashi narrowed his eyes and wondered how many of his awful actions were now immortalised in Taguchi’s phone. As they went through the photos and had bouts of uproar and laughter, Kamenashi found himself nodding off on Taguchi’s shoulder and eventually drifted to sleep.
Maybe Kamenashi had always likened Taguchi to autumn, because he's most comfortable to be with, neither too hot nor cold.
*
Winter
Kamenashi carefully studied the flakes of snow falling from the skies above.
How unexpected.
Pulling the fur hood over his head, he held his coat even tighter to him than before. Yet despite his gloves and the layers of clothes he had bundled himself in, he couldn't stop the chill from seeping into his bones. His boots sunk into the soft slush beneath his feet.
That's nothing good about this bitter cold, Kamenashi decided as he ploughed on, a nagging thought of dislike at the back of his mind. He frowned at the bare trees and pitied the trembling strays. It had been a rather unfortunate day - the licence for the location shoot was not approved in time - and Kamenashi was dismissed from work even before any form of progress was made for the Suzuki commercial. He could have seen it as a tiny blessing to be able to have Christmas to himself for the first time but rescheduling is always a pain and that made him disgruntled.
It wasn't at all intentional but the scowl on his face frightened passer bys as they shied away from his path. It wasn't relief either when he reached his apartment because it was not in the least bit inviting in this wretched weather. His floor was icy to his feet, providing not even the essential warmth a home should possess; the air around him frosty, no different from the streets.
The click of the shutting door that echoed along his silent doorway as Kamenashi wriggled out of his shoes was no more comforting.
Dropping his keys into a holder, Kamenashi hesitated as his fingers roamed around the walls for the switch; did it made any sense to switch on the lights when you weren't expecting anyone nor intended to do anything? Instead, he reached for the lighter in his breast pocket and shuffled around in the dark, seeking out for the candles he had bought some time ago.
Navigating his way in the dark was quite the chore but eventually Kamenashi found himself in the kitchen, deciding to get a drink. The place was softly illuminated by the signal lights on his refrigerator, making it much easier for navigation. While reaching for the beer, he had a change of heart and decided that wine might go better with the candles when he finally does find them.
His wine was nowhere near the refrigerator yet Kamenashi refused to reach for the lights. His actions had strangely morphed into an unagreed battle with the darkness and Kamenashi had little intention to lose. He stumbled his way to his wine cooler, toes stubbing against cunning chair and table legs hidden in the shadows. Kamenashi thought he heard a giggle but it must have been the pain getting to his head. He was pretty certain of now owning several swollen toes when he finally did reach for his wine. He hadn't even started on his search for the wine opener.
Maybe he should have ditched all plans right from the start and just slept on the couch. However, Kamenashi felt stubborn today and refused to throw in the towel. He continued feeling his way around till he was finally on his couch with lit scented candles framing the edges of his table and wisps of aroma curling around the area.
It was all very romantic as Kamenashi popped the cork on the bottle and poured himself some wine. Settling comfortably with a glass in his hands, he closed his eyes and -
"Hey."
The hot breaths behind his back startled him no less than the sudden greeting. There's a pair of strong arms wrapped around his neck affectionately and Kamenashi trusted the uninvited guest well enough to lean into his touch.
"Guess who~?" The person whispered into Kamenashi's ears, voice sultry with the intention to tease. Kamenashi chuckled and closed his eyes.
"Junno."
"How offensive."
"I didn't say I would play along for the answers," Kamenashi mumbled, head rested on the other's shoulders. "You had fun playing break in and I should not condone such behaviour. It's not right to drop by without a word, and watch me make a spectacle of myself without offering help."
In the next instance, the shoulder was gone and Ueda appeared in his view. He took a seat on the other side of the couch, folded his arms, and huffed.
“You’re such a petty person.”
Kamenashi fought back the urge to laugh. Ueda was a black pot; the cheek he had to grumble.
“Why are you even here?” Kamenashi inquired, hand reaching for the glass of wine His actions were unfortunately stopped by Ueda. He looked at the other man for answers but given the poor lighting in his house at the moment, it was impossible to make out Ueda’s features, much less expression.
“Not ‘you’,” Ueda mused aloud. “‘We’ would be a better choice of word. Anyway, stay sober.”
“We?”
Ueda nodded. Before Kamenashi could continue with his questioning, a boisterous voice cut through their conversation. “Merry Christmas Kazuya!” was the only warning he received before he was enveloped in a tight embrace.
“Taguchi!”
“No, Junno,” Taguchi corrected before releasing his grip and making himself comfortable in the space between Kamenashi and Ueda. The faint glow of the candles reflected the excitement shining in his eyes and Kamenashi felt himself getting increasingly mystified. Did he invite everyone for a Christmas gathering in one of his drunken stupors? It was unlikely seeing as he was supposed to be working. Moreover, the lack of lights did not justify his hunch and Kamenashi’s mind sought for an alternative.
“Kazuya, a penny for your thoughts?”
“My thoughts should be very obvious at the moment, don’t play dumb.” Kamenashi clicks his tongue absentmindedly. “Yucchi can just show up and we can get this party going.”
“What party?” Taguchi asked quizzically. He hurriedly pulled Ueda to the side, voices low despite what seemed like a heated argument going on. A few moments later, Taguchi exclaimed that “we should have prepared something!” which was followed by the untimely arrival of Nakamaru who blurted “what is Kame doing home at this hour” and “why didn’t you inform me about the change of plans?”
It’s all very confusing but Kamenashi figured it could be one of those haphazardly put together let’s-surprise-Kazuya-from-time-to-time-to-make-him-feel-more-loved-than-he-already-is plans that Taguchi liked to host in his apartment without warning or even consent.
“Well, I’m waiting,” Kamenashi chortled and got up to switch the lights on. The mood was already all wrong anyway for a whimsical wine appreciation session by himself. He snuffed out the candles as well.
“Well… You have been looking like scrooge’s little brother ever since winter hit with all your aching problems so we thought we should cheer you up,” Taguchi said with a dazzling smile. “But there’s no party involved.”
“Then what were you guys planning on doing in the dark?” Kamenashi frowned but there was no heat in his voice. “I’m not expecting anything so everyone can just sit down and I don’t know, make yourselves at home which you were already doing prior to Yucchi’s arrival.”
Ueda snorted while Taguchi merely laughed. Nakamaru heaved a visible sign of relief.
“Shuichi’s filming ran overtime. Hi Kame,” he waved before taking the seat Taguchi previously occupied. Awkward silence ensued and Kamenashi wondered if that was his cue to say something more.
“Well, now that everyone is gathered, are we supposed to do something together?”
“I think Taguchi could be harbouring the ambitious intentions of cheering you up with his mere presence and maybe our companionship,” Ueda concluded with a shrug.
“Companionship,” Kamenashi carefully pronounced. A smirk crept up upon his face. “What kind?”
“Oh, all kinds,” Ueda sighed happily but was met with Nakamaru’s violent objection. Nakamaru’s ears were flushed red as he spluttered and tried to explain that they just wanted to make Kamenashi feel at home and show him that winter wasn’t all about the cold and being alone.
“You hate the chilly winds so we thought we should drop by and show you how winter might be cold but festive gatherings would warm your heart,” Taguchi smiled affectionately. “Don’t go sitting in the dark.”
“How long did you take to come up with such a sentence?”
“You wound me with your false accusations, Kazuya,” Taguchi attempted to pout but Kamenashi decided to wipe that look off by tossing the nearest pillow on his couch at the other’s face. Taguchi chose to feign injury (“such close proximity and with the force of an ace pitcher!” Taguchi cried as he fell backwards on the couch) and Nakamaru and Ueda joined in to stop the taller man from being overly dramatic.
It could have been a slip up (or Taguchi’s revenge) when a stray pillow hit Kamenashi square in the face too and before long, a full-fledged pillow war broke out in his living room. The simple rule of “you pay for what you break” was shouted amidst the warfare even though Kamenashi doubted their ability or willingness to acknowledge it.
When Kamenashi saw his bedroom pillow flying into the fray, he knew his plans of lying on bed and watching his home-installed galaxy system had to be abandoned.
At least the bitter feelings towards winter were gone together with his plans of being alone.
“今 過ぎ去った 季節 を 数え 一人きり の 夜 何 を 思う?
You're not all alone anymore 一人 じゃ ない” - Precious One, KAT-TUN