FIC FOR AKUMANAKOI
For: akumanakoi
From: yararanger
Title: never ~again
Pairings/Characters: Ueda, Nakamaru, Kamenashi (plus cameos by others)
Rating: G
Warnings: …Angst? Unrequited feelings? Something like that.
Notes: akumanakoi, I really hope you like this! I'm kind of anxious but am keeping my fingers crossed that this meets with your approval. Also, a million thanks to the two who kicked this from kinda suck to less-suck. 2245 words.
Summary: They've been friends for almost half a lifetime, but is friendship all there is to it? Ueda isn't so certain any more.
//
They were fifteen when they first got to know each other: one moment of recognition in the school corridors, an oh, you're a Junior too leading to Haven't we got rehearsal tonight? and Shall we make our way there together? which, eventually, developed into friendship. 1998 rolled into 1999, too fast and too slow all at once, and suddenly the Spring Concerts were upon them, and Ueda found himself waiting for Nakamaru by the school gates, cellphone a reassuring weight in his hand as he leaned against the wall and tried to look nonchalant, cool, idol-like.
"Ueda. Yo," Nakamaru said, slinging his bag strap across his chest as he sauntered across to the main gates. "You ready to go?" No thanks for waiting, no sorry I'm late, but Ueda expected none; that wasn't how they did things. He simply nodded, slipping his cellphone back into his blazer pocket as he pushed away from the wall.
"Uesato said he heard something about some new Volleyball unit being announced sometime at the end of the summer," Ueda said as they wandered toward the train station. He offered no further comment.
"Really…" Nakamaru walked beside him in silence. Then, "If Takizawa and Tsubasa got a CD debut, who would lead us Juniors?"
"Tsubasa-kun would still make time for us," Ueda responded, fiercely loyal for a brief second before remembering that fierce loyalty was uncool. "But I'd be a good king," he added.
"No you wouldn't," Nakamaru laughed. "You'd suck."
Ueda shoved him, and Nakamaru staggered with an oi! of protest, and they laughed and walked on. Ueda was happy.
~
At not-quite-eighteen, Ueda and Nakamaru eyed each other warily across the space allocated for the recently-formed unit KAT-TUN. Neither of them had predicted permanence - they'd both been in too many units already for any kind of thought along those lines - but here they were, halfway through 2001 and about to go on PopJam yet again with no end in sight. Over to one side, Taguchi was humming Natsu no Ousama to himself, slightly off-key in a way that grated on Ueda's nerves. He looked back down to the current issue of Shounen Jump and turned to the next page as noisily as he could.
"Taguchi," said Nakamaru, "you're being annoying."
Ueda looked up, met Nakamaru's eyes, and fell in love.
~
In 2003, they went to Thailand with a host of other Juniors, and held tigers and splashed about in swimming pools under bright sunshine and heard nothing but the deafening scream of fans for days on end. Nakamaru and Tanaka painted their fingernails black to show how 'rock' they were; Taguchi spent most of his time hanging out with Jimmy Mackey and nobody asked what the other two were up to - they just listened for where the fangirls were screaming the loudest. One of the Thai men working with the agency for the duration of their trip suggested that Ueda and Nakamaru might like to have a ride on a moped; they exchanged looks: yeah, sure, okay, and clambered on.
It was humid, oppressively hot, and with Nakamaru pressed behind him with his hands around Ueda's waist, Ueda felt even hotter. "Don't hold on so tight," he said, trying to work out how he felt before the engine kicked into life. Nakamaru's hands gripped Ueda's black hoodie with white knuckles, and Ueda kept quiet. He was happy.
"Why do they scream so loud when we get close to each other?" Kusano asked that evening over dinner, eyes fixed on another table where a sleepy-looking Hikaru and Yabu prodded at the same plate of kai phat khing.
"You know why," Koyama said, helping himself to more rice and adding a spoonful to Shigeaki's plate in the process.
Kusano shrugged. "Yeah, well, it's gross."
"I agree, gross," Nakamaru said, setting down his glass of soda. "It puts me off my food though, so shut up, yeah?"
"Okay, whatever," Kusano grumbled as he returned to his food.
Ueda kept quiet, and stared at the glassy eyes of the dead fish on the plate in front of him instead.
~
For their Looking concert, Ueda decided he would sing Pieces for at least part of the time. He was tired of Love in Snow already, and it felt the wrong time of year for Kakigoori, maybe, perhaps. He didn't seek the opinions of any of the other members, but in a quieter moment, he turned to Nakamaru.
"What do you think?"
Nakamaru looked over the lyrics sheet, lips pressed together. "Ah, this one. Is this another song about your short-lived Summer Festival romance?"
Under a clear blue sky, I was happy with you… Ueda scanned the lyrics again, then scratched at his eyebrow with a thumbnail and nodded. "That's right," he lied. "That girl."
"I see." A pause. "Yeah, I thought so." Nakamaru nodded. "Looks good," he said. "You should keep writing lyrics."
Ueda gave a small grin of thanks. "I plan to," he said.
~
"CD debut," Kamenashi said, and when Nakamaru was the first person Ueda hugged in celebration, everybody was too jubilant even to bat an eyelid.
~
"With Taguchi again?" Ueda said, eyeing the Utawara schedule.
"Admit it, Uepi, you love working with me," Taguchi grinned.
"Get lost," Ueda said, but grinned to show he meant no harm. "Why don't they put me with Nakamaru instead?"
Taguchi stared at him with a small grin, and Ueda quickly shut up and turned away.
~
One week after Nakamaru's twenty-fourth birthday, he turned and said to Ueda, "Let's go to Hokkaido together."
"Haa?" Ueda thought he had misheard. "Just us?"
"Yeah, maybe in a week or so? It'll be right between our birthdays. We can go to Sapporo, and maybe Furano, go to the lavender fields…"
"Just us? Is that really okay?"
Nakamaru looked up then and regarded him sharply, searching Ueda's face for Ueda knew not what. "…Yes, just us," he responded. "Is there a reason why it wouldn't be okay?"
"…No," Ueda shook his head, heart hammering wildly. "No, no reason. It would be good, right? Hokkaido. Yeah. It'd be good to go there. And not too expensive, right?" He chanced a grin, trying to poke at Nakamaru's spending habits.
"Well," Nakamaru's brow furrowed, "we can always share a hotel room if you're worried about costs…"
Wait. Ueda back-pedalled hard. "No way!" His laugh was a little too forced. "That's definitely way too gay. Separate rooms is just fine."
It would have been better to go earlier in the summer, Ueda supposed, when the colour of the lavender flowers would have been far more vibrant, more intense. As he stood looking out over the fields, with the blue shadows of the mountains in the distance, Ueda felt Nakamaru's presence beside him and his heart swelled in his chest, a bubble of warmth that expanded more and more until he felt almost dizzy from it.
"Are you okay?" Nakamaru asked, turning to Ueda with a frown.
"I, un, I'm fine," Ueda reined himself in, clawing back control.
"Is it your allergies playing up? I thought you took antihistamines this morning."
Ueda frowned. "I said, I'm fine." He paused, then looked up again, smile back in place. "C'mon, let's go. I want to eat sea urchin for dinner, I heard they're really good."
Nakamaru laughed. "You pig."
The bubble of happiness returned, lifting Ueda's spirits as he walked back down the path. "Like you're any better!"
~
In 2008, Ueda felt almost as nervous as the first time he'd stood up to sing solo on Shounen Club several years before. "I'm going to hold auditions for my band, for my concerts. Will you help me pick the members?"
"Eh? You want my help with this?"
"It's not that I want your help, exactly, more like…" Ueda searched for the right words. "More like, I value your opinion."
Nakamaru sat up a little straighter, lips quirking as he tried to conceal his pleasure. "I can probably manage that," he said.
Ueda felt himself grow warm, happy.
~
"You and Nakamaru-kun seem to be really good friends," Ryoko said, swinging her feet as they watched the staff set up the stage for the balcony scene. "It's nice." Her eyes widened as she glanced over to see Ueda looking at her. "Oh! No, I… maybe it wasn't my place to say anything, I'm sorry."
"Do you want to meet him? Is that what you're saying?" Ueda asked, torn between awkwardness and amusement.
"No, no! Or rather, that wasn't what I meant." Her cheeks coloured, and she laughed. "I just meant that… it's nice, seeing guys who are close like that."
"I see." Ueda paused. Then, "…It's not like we're gay, or anything."
Ryoko fixed Ueda with an amused look, her own embarrassment rapidly fading. "I didn't say you were," she grinned.
"Leave poor Ueda-kun alone, Ryoko-chan," a familiar voice teased, and Ueda turned and brightened as their Mercutio came to sit beside them.
"Shoon!" he said, grateful for the change of topic. "How's the Queen Mab speech coming along?"
~
In Korea, Ueda felt hopelessly out of his depth, every bit as much as he had when he was in London just over a year before. At least in England there hadn't been so many cameras, so many fans everywhere. He felt an unexpected burst of newfound respect for the Korean artists who tried to work in Japan.
"How do you remember what to say?" he asked Nakamaru. "When they all speak Korean so much better than us, I mean."
"D'you want me to help teach you some phrases?" Nakamaru asked.
"Please," Ueda said, happiness spreading quickly.
Across the room, on the other couch, Kamenashi wiggled. "Oppa~"
Taguchi laughed. "Kazuya, shut up."
~
"So," Masami said, setting his beer glass down with excessive care and trying his best to appear more sober than he was. "Have you told him yet?"
"No. No way!" Ueda recoiled in horror. "It would be the worst move ever."
"How'd you know?"
"Well," he said, stuffing chicken into his mouth and half-covering his mouth with his fist while talking, "he hates that kind of thing. Like," he swallowed, "every time it's mentioned, I say it's gross and he agrees. Every single time. He's never once tried to argue differently." Ueda prodded at a sad-looking lettuce leaf with his chopsticks, feeling almost as sad himself.
"Does he know he's supposed to argue?" Masami leaned on the table between them, frowning. "Like, maybe he doesn't argue because he thinks that's what you think and maybe he thinks that if he says what he thinks then you'll think he's…" He waved a hand, vague. "Y'know."
Ueda blinked. "What?"
"It made sense in my head," Masami sighed, giving up and reaching for his beer again.
~
"What do you think of my new coat?" Nakamaru tugged at the collar then at the sleeves as he fixed his appearance at the end of the photo shoot.
"It's new?" Ueda eyed the way it flattered Nakamaru's body shape. "It looks good. When did you go shopping?" They usually went together. They always had.
"I went with Kame the other day. He picked it out for me. Not my normal style, huh." He picked up his scarf and wound it around his throat.
"Mm," Ueda said, frowning.
"What's with that face. You don't think it looks good?"
"No, no, I do!" Ueda gave a quick smile, then laughed. "Not that it matters what I think. Kame's far more into fashion than the rest of us."
What was that kick of jealousy, though? Ueda shoved his manga back into his bag and slung the bag over his shoulder. It wasn't like Nakamaru could only go shopping with Ueda. It wasn't like it meant anything.
~
"Na, Koki," Ueda said, "is it me, or do Nakamaru and Kamenashi seem kind of closer than before, these days?"
"Closer than…" Koki trailed off as he turned to face Ueda, realisation slowly dawning on his face. "What kind of close do you mean, Tat-chan?"
"Well," Ueda searched for the right words. "Like, fanservice doesn't mean anything, but even when there are no fans, they're… Kind of…"
Koki looked around the otherwise-empty room as though somebody would magically appear to help him out. "Ahh, well…" He rubbed at his face with one hand. "I don't think I'm in a position to say anything, here…"
Ueda kept quiet, waiting.
"…I mean, I guess if they haven't said anything it's probably because… ahh, I don't know, Tat-chan…"
He felt himself growing cooler from within.
"Maybe they thought you would think it was gross, or something…"
Ueda felt sick.
"Guys, did you see?" Taguchi stood in the doorway, nose red and face half-obscured by the chunky scarf wrapped around his neck. "It's snowing out!"
"I'll be back later," Ueda said.
"Wait, Tat-chan…?"
~
The snow was beginning to settle already but Ueda was too warm to feel the cold, burning from the flood of anger, the shame and disappointment that throbbed in his ears with each beat of his heart. Had he really…? Were they…? His breath left his parted lips in a puff of white and as he inhaled once more he choked. Feelings clogged his throat and he blinked hard, turning his face upward and letting the snowflakes fall onto his skin. Somebody would be out looking for him in a moment, he knew. Cellphone in hand, Ueda hurriedly typed out a message, but deleted it almost immediately after. Too late now, it was too late. Wasted.
"Ueda-san?" The anxious member of staff hovered in the doorway, silhouetted in the yellowish light from within. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Ueda said, flipping his cellphone closed and turning to head back. "I just had to…" He paused. "I just got an idea for a new song, that's all."
Time to give up.
//
From: yararanger
Title: never ~again
Pairings/Characters: Ueda, Nakamaru, Kamenashi (plus cameos by others)
Rating: G
Warnings: …Angst? Unrequited feelings? Something like that.
Notes: akumanakoi, I really hope you like this! I'm kind of anxious but am keeping my fingers crossed that this meets with your approval. Also, a million thanks to the two who kicked this from kinda suck to less-suck. 2245 words.
Summary: They've been friends for almost half a lifetime, but is friendship all there is to it? Ueda isn't so certain any more.
//
They were fifteen when they first got to know each other: one moment of recognition in the school corridors, an oh, you're a Junior too leading to Haven't we got rehearsal tonight? and Shall we make our way there together? which, eventually, developed into friendship. 1998 rolled into 1999, too fast and too slow all at once, and suddenly the Spring Concerts were upon them, and Ueda found himself waiting for Nakamaru by the school gates, cellphone a reassuring weight in his hand as he leaned against the wall and tried to look nonchalant, cool, idol-like.
"Ueda. Yo," Nakamaru said, slinging his bag strap across his chest as he sauntered across to the main gates. "You ready to go?" No thanks for waiting, no sorry I'm late, but Ueda expected none; that wasn't how they did things. He simply nodded, slipping his cellphone back into his blazer pocket as he pushed away from the wall.
"Uesato said he heard something about some new Volleyball unit being announced sometime at the end of the summer," Ueda said as they wandered toward the train station. He offered no further comment.
"Really…" Nakamaru walked beside him in silence. Then, "If Takizawa and Tsubasa got a CD debut, who would lead us Juniors?"
"Tsubasa-kun would still make time for us," Ueda responded, fiercely loyal for a brief second before remembering that fierce loyalty was uncool. "But I'd be a good king," he added.
"No you wouldn't," Nakamaru laughed. "You'd suck."
Ueda shoved him, and Nakamaru staggered with an oi! of protest, and they laughed and walked on. Ueda was happy.
~
At not-quite-eighteen, Ueda and Nakamaru eyed each other warily across the space allocated for the recently-formed unit KAT-TUN. Neither of them had predicted permanence - they'd both been in too many units already for any kind of thought along those lines - but here they were, halfway through 2001 and about to go on PopJam yet again with no end in sight. Over to one side, Taguchi was humming Natsu no Ousama to himself, slightly off-key in a way that grated on Ueda's nerves. He looked back down to the current issue of Shounen Jump and turned to the next page as noisily as he could.
"Taguchi," said Nakamaru, "you're being annoying."
Ueda looked up, met Nakamaru's eyes, and fell in love.
~
In 2003, they went to Thailand with a host of other Juniors, and held tigers and splashed about in swimming pools under bright sunshine and heard nothing but the deafening scream of fans for days on end. Nakamaru and Tanaka painted their fingernails black to show how 'rock' they were; Taguchi spent most of his time hanging out with Jimmy Mackey and nobody asked what the other two were up to - they just listened for where the fangirls were screaming the loudest. One of the Thai men working with the agency for the duration of their trip suggested that Ueda and Nakamaru might like to have a ride on a moped; they exchanged looks: yeah, sure, okay, and clambered on.
It was humid, oppressively hot, and with Nakamaru pressed behind him with his hands around Ueda's waist, Ueda felt even hotter. "Don't hold on so tight," he said, trying to work out how he felt before the engine kicked into life. Nakamaru's hands gripped Ueda's black hoodie with white knuckles, and Ueda kept quiet. He was happy.
"Why do they scream so loud when we get close to each other?" Kusano asked that evening over dinner, eyes fixed on another table where a sleepy-looking Hikaru and Yabu prodded at the same plate of kai phat khing.
"You know why," Koyama said, helping himself to more rice and adding a spoonful to Shigeaki's plate in the process.
Kusano shrugged. "Yeah, well, it's gross."
"I agree, gross," Nakamaru said, setting down his glass of soda. "It puts me off my food though, so shut up, yeah?"
"Okay, whatever," Kusano grumbled as he returned to his food.
Ueda kept quiet, and stared at the glassy eyes of the dead fish on the plate in front of him instead.
~
For their Looking concert, Ueda decided he would sing Pieces for at least part of the time. He was tired of Love in Snow already, and it felt the wrong time of year for Kakigoori, maybe, perhaps. He didn't seek the opinions of any of the other members, but in a quieter moment, he turned to Nakamaru.
"What do you think?"
Nakamaru looked over the lyrics sheet, lips pressed together. "Ah, this one. Is this another song about your short-lived Summer Festival romance?"
Under a clear blue sky, I was happy with you… Ueda scanned the lyrics again, then scratched at his eyebrow with a thumbnail and nodded. "That's right," he lied. "That girl."
"I see." A pause. "Yeah, I thought so." Nakamaru nodded. "Looks good," he said. "You should keep writing lyrics."
Ueda gave a small grin of thanks. "I plan to," he said.
~
"CD debut," Kamenashi said, and when Nakamaru was the first person Ueda hugged in celebration, everybody was too jubilant even to bat an eyelid.
~
"With Taguchi again?" Ueda said, eyeing the Utawara schedule.
"Admit it, Uepi, you love working with me," Taguchi grinned.
"Get lost," Ueda said, but grinned to show he meant no harm. "Why don't they put me with Nakamaru instead?"
Taguchi stared at him with a small grin, and Ueda quickly shut up and turned away.
~
One week after Nakamaru's twenty-fourth birthday, he turned and said to Ueda, "Let's go to Hokkaido together."
"Haa?" Ueda thought he had misheard. "Just us?"
"Yeah, maybe in a week or so? It'll be right between our birthdays. We can go to Sapporo, and maybe Furano, go to the lavender fields…"
"Just us? Is that really okay?"
Nakamaru looked up then and regarded him sharply, searching Ueda's face for Ueda knew not what. "…Yes, just us," he responded. "Is there a reason why it wouldn't be okay?"
"…No," Ueda shook his head, heart hammering wildly. "No, no reason. It would be good, right? Hokkaido. Yeah. It'd be good to go there. And not too expensive, right?" He chanced a grin, trying to poke at Nakamaru's spending habits.
"Well," Nakamaru's brow furrowed, "we can always share a hotel room if you're worried about costs…"
Wait. Ueda back-pedalled hard. "No way!" His laugh was a little too forced. "That's definitely way too gay. Separate rooms is just fine."
It would have been better to go earlier in the summer, Ueda supposed, when the colour of the lavender flowers would have been far more vibrant, more intense. As he stood looking out over the fields, with the blue shadows of the mountains in the distance, Ueda felt Nakamaru's presence beside him and his heart swelled in his chest, a bubble of warmth that expanded more and more until he felt almost dizzy from it.
"Are you okay?" Nakamaru asked, turning to Ueda with a frown.
"I, un, I'm fine," Ueda reined himself in, clawing back control.
"Is it your allergies playing up? I thought you took antihistamines this morning."
Ueda frowned. "I said, I'm fine." He paused, then looked up again, smile back in place. "C'mon, let's go. I want to eat sea urchin for dinner, I heard they're really good."
Nakamaru laughed. "You pig."
The bubble of happiness returned, lifting Ueda's spirits as he walked back down the path. "Like you're any better!"
~
In 2008, Ueda felt almost as nervous as the first time he'd stood up to sing solo on Shounen Club several years before. "I'm going to hold auditions for my band, for my concerts. Will you help me pick the members?"
"Eh? You want my help with this?"
"It's not that I want your help, exactly, more like…" Ueda searched for the right words. "More like, I value your opinion."
Nakamaru sat up a little straighter, lips quirking as he tried to conceal his pleasure. "I can probably manage that," he said.
Ueda felt himself grow warm, happy.
~
"You and Nakamaru-kun seem to be really good friends," Ryoko said, swinging her feet as they watched the staff set up the stage for the balcony scene. "It's nice." Her eyes widened as she glanced over to see Ueda looking at her. "Oh! No, I… maybe it wasn't my place to say anything, I'm sorry."
"Do you want to meet him? Is that what you're saying?" Ueda asked, torn between awkwardness and amusement.
"No, no! Or rather, that wasn't what I meant." Her cheeks coloured, and she laughed. "I just meant that… it's nice, seeing guys who are close like that."
"I see." Ueda paused. Then, "…It's not like we're gay, or anything."
Ryoko fixed Ueda with an amused look, her own embarrassment rapidly fading. "I didn't say you were," she grinned.
"Leave poor Ueda-kun alone, Ryoko-chan," a familiar voice teased, and Ueda turned and brightened as their Mercutio came to sit beside them.
"Shoon!" he said, grateful for the change of topic. "How's the Queen Mab speech coming along?"
~
In Korea, Ueda felt hopelessly out of his depth, every bit as much as he had when he was in London just over a year before. At least in England there hadn't been so many cameras, so many fans everywhere. He felt an unexpected burst of newfound respect for the Korean artists who tried to work in Japan.
"How do you remember what to say?" he asked Nakamaru. "When they all speak Korean so much better than us, I mean."
"D'you want me to help teach you some phrases?" Nakamaru asked.
"Please," Ueda said, happiness spreading quickly.
Across the room, on the other couch, Kamenashi wiggled. "Oppa~"
Taguchi laughed. "Kazuya, shut up."
~
"So," Masami said, setting his beer glass down with excessive care and trying his best to appear more sober than he was. "Have you told him yet?"
"No. No way!" Ueda recoiled in horror. "It would be the worst move ever."
"How'd you know?"
"Well," he said, stuffing chicken into his mouth and half-covering his mouth with his fist while talking, "he hates that kind of thing. Like," he swallowed, "every time it's mentioned, I say it's gross and he agrees. Every single time. He's never once tried to argue differently." Ueda prodded at a sad-looking lettuce leaf with his chopsticks, feeling almost as sad himself.
"Does he know he's supposed to argue?" Masami leaned on the table between them, frowning. "Like, maybe he doesn't argue because he thinks that's what you think and maybe he thinks that if he says what he thinks then you'll think he's…" He waved a hand, vague. "Y'know."
Ueda blinked. "What?"
"It made sense in my head," Masami sighed, giving up and reaching for his beer again.
~
"What do you think of my new coat?" Nakamaru tugged at the collar then at the sleeves as he fixed his appearance at the end of the photo shoot.
"It's new?" Ueda eyed the way it flattered Nakamaru's body shape. "It looks good. When did you go shopping?" They usually went together. They always had.
"I went with Kame the other day. He picked it out for me. Not my normal style, huh." He picked up his scarf and wound it around his throat.
"Mm," Ueda said, frowning.
"What's with that face. You don't think it looks good?"
"No, no, I do!" Ueda gave a quick smile, then laughed. "Not that it matters what I think. Kame's far more into fashion than the rest of us."
What was that kick of jealousy, though? Ueda shoved his manga back into his bag and slung the bag over his shoulder. It wasn't like Nakamaru could only go shopping with Ueda. It wasn't like it meant anything.
~
"Na, Koki," Ueda said, "is it me, or do Nakamaru and Kamenashi seem kind of closer than before, these days?"
"Closer than…" Koki trailed off as he turned to face Ueda, realisation slowly dawning on his face. "What kind of close do you mean, Tat-chan?"
"Well," Ueda searched for the right words. "Like, fanservice doesn't mean anything, but even when there are no fans, they're… Kind of…"
Koki looked around the otherwise-empty room as though somebody would magically appear to help him out. "Ahh, well…" He rubbed at his face with one hand. "I don't think I'm in a position to say anything, here…"
Ueda kept quiet, waiting.
"…I mean, I guess if they haven't said anything it's probably because… ahh, I don't know, Tat-chan…"
He felt himself growing cooler from within.
"Maybe they thought you would think it was gross, or something…"
Ueda felt sick.
"Guys, did you see?" Taguchi stood in the doorway, nose red and face half-obscured by the chunky scarf wrapped around his neck. "It's snowing out!"
"I'll be back later," Ueda said.
"Wait, Tat-chan…?"
~
The snow was beginning to settle already but Ueda was too warm to feel the cold, burning from the flood of anger, the shame and disappointment that throbbed in his ears with each beat of his heart. Had he really…? Were they…? His breath left his parted lips in a puff of white and as he inhaled once more he choked. Feelings clogged his throat and he blinked hard, turning his face upward and letting the snowflakes fall onto his skin. Somebody would be out looking for him in a moment, he knew. Cellphone in hand, Ueda hurriedly typed out a message, but deleted it almost immediately after. Too late now, it was too late. Wasted.
"Ueda-san?" The anxious member of staff hovered in the doorway, silhouetted in the yellowish light from within. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Ueda said, flipping his cellphone closed and turning to head back. "I just had to…" He paused. "I just got an idea for a new song, that's all."
Time to give up.
//