FIC FOR MYXSTORIE

[hyphen_chan]

For: myxstorie
From: greatfountain

Title: One More Month to Eternity
Pairings/Characters: Tanaka Koki + Ueda Tatsuya / KAT-TUN feat. Tegoshi Yuya, Nishikido Ryo, Yamashita Tomohisa, Takizawa Hideaki, Fujigaya Taisuke
Rating: R for language
Warnings: Urban fantasy AU
Notes: I really really really hope you enjoy this, myxstorie! Thanks to my beta, H, my idea soundboard P, and cheerleader J for their support and help. And of course to our lovely mods. Thanks, guys! Cultural/background notes: a zashiki-warishi is a weather spirit. A bakeneko is an obake (or, a spirit that transforms a living thing into something else) that is in the body of a cat. They're well known for stealing the faces of humans. And eating them. An ofuda is a talisman used to guard a house against evil. A genkan is the entrance to a Japanese house. And according to most folklore fae-folk hate iron. :Db
Summary: Tanaka Koki, unwilling supernatural detective, and his partner, exorcist-medium Ueda Tatsuya, get a case from local college student Akanishi Jin.


Koki's having a great night, until he comes home to find the exorcist on his doorstep again.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asks, eyeing the red-headed figure kneeling beside his door, reading a book.

Ueda smiles up at him. "I need your help," he answers, like he does every time.

"Fuck that," Koki snaps, "the last time I helped you my house caught fire. And the time before that you had me firing your special bullets at that fucking crazy-ass zashiki-warishi and got me fired from the police force consultant job."

"If you had hit the crazy weather spirit it wouldn't have gotten your house hit by lightning, I've told you this," Ueda answers, "and besides, there's a contract. Unless you deny it?"

Koki's back goes stiff as a board. He still has nightmares about the werewolf that tore his chest open, the way Ueda's head had peeked into his blurring vision and offered him a deal.

"…what is it this time?" he asks, sighing, and offers Ueda a hand (which he ignores, unfolding gracefully and leaning against the doorframe, close to Koki's shoulder, while Koki jiggles the key in the lock and jams it open with his hip).

Ueda follows him inside, and as always it's not like he's wearing shoes or anything, so he just steps up out of the genkan, fingers trailing over the warding symbols on the walls. They glimmer a little in the half-light, and Koki marvels again at Ueda's powers. The whole place feels a little warmer. The light from the wards plays over the lines of Ueda’s shoulders under his t-shirt, and Koki drags his attention up from the ass in Ueda’s worn jeans in time to pay attention to the words coming from his mouth.

"The ones by the balcony feel a little weak," Ueda says, glancing back over his shoulder. There’s a look in his eye that makes Koki want to punch him. There really should be a rule about pretty boys being too pretty and knowing about it or something.

"You gonna do something about it?" Koki asks, to cover his blush, dropping his bag on the tiny kitchen table and turning around to face the rest of his tiny apartment-slash-office.

"If you'd like," Ueda answers, fiddling with the iron charm around his left wrist distractedly.

Koki sighs. "How much is it gonna cost me?" he asks as he settles at his desk, going through the papers in his inbox. Where the hell is his client list?

"A month," Ueda answers.

"Oh just do it already," Koki snaps, "if I die it doesn't matter how much time I have left on your stupid spirit-contract."

"That’s what I thought you’d say," Ueda answers, humor in his voice as he rifles through his bag for an ofuda.

A knock on the glass right behind Koki’s desk makes Koki look up, and he leans over to push the window up.

"Ko~ki~kun~!"

"Shut up, Taguchi," says Koki, reflex kicking in, "isn’t it weird for you to be hanging off the sill of my second-story window like that?"

"No one can see me," Junno says, as if that makes it okay, "besides, there’s no reason to come all the way up the stairs if I don’t have to. Anyway, I picked up the new Tekken game and-"

Koki slams the window shut.

Junno taps at the window uselessly for a moment, but then there’s the telltale shiver of his magick, and Koki looks back to see Junno pouting at him. And the window’s up.

"How long have you been able to do that?!" Koki squawks, and Ueda giggles at him.

"The lock is made of titanium," Junno explains, airily.

"You had my iron locks replaced with titanium just so you could sneak in?!"

"I needed to iron out any kinks in my plan to be with you all the time," Junno reports, and Koki reaches out to smack him.

Junno giggles at him-giggles!-and leans his head on his palm. "You have a new client," he says, suddenly, "a friend of mine."

There’s a knock on the door. Ueda’s still fiddling with the ofuda and Taguchi’s the worst receptionist of all time, so Koki’s left to get his own door. Damn it. "COME IN IT’S UNLOCKED," he bellows.

The guy who comes in is a sloppy-looking dude, maybe early twenties, with hair shoved under a trucker hat and hands shoved into the pockets of a black and white letterman. He looks nervous, uncertain.

"Yo," says Koki, and the guy jerks.

"I’m looking for… Tanaka Supernatural Detective Agency, I guess," he says, and Koki scowls over his shoulder at where Junno’s giggles are still echoing.

"Fucking Taguchi-okay, yeah, whatever, that’s me. What’s your issue? Haunting? Dreams? General weird shit?"

"I think my friend-Yamashita Tomohisa-is possessed and trying to kill me."

Koki sniggers, because that’s what he always does when something newer and weirder pops up, but he hears the tell-tale jingling of Ueda’s charm stop, so maybe there’s something to it.

"Opinions?" Koki asks Ueda.

"How did he try to kill you?" Ueda presses. Koki rolls his eyes. That’s the difference between them; Koki humors his clients until he sees some proof (he’s seen one too many groaning pipes being called a haunting in his time, maybe) and Ueda takes them at their word.

"He… he had a butcher knife-we’re roommates at the college-and he’s been all weird. I slept on my R.A.’s floor last night. I went to class all week just to avoid him."

Koki purses his lips. "Has he had any drugs?" he asks, gently.

"What? No, Pi’s on the basketball team, he doesn’t… do drugs."

"Has he said anything strange?" asks Ueda, suddenly.

"He sent me this picture in this text," the kid says, digging through his pockets and pulling out his phone. He shows Ueda the screen, and Ueda’s mouth tightens.

Ueda plucks the phone from his hands and passes it to Koki.

Koki’s mouth dries. "This is… that symbol from the demon. We killed him there’s no way. There’s no way. Right?"

Ueda sighs. "These things are never sure-fire. Maybe someone did what I did for you."

"And now that damn thing’s taking over some college basketball player? Hey, you-sorry, what’s your name?"

"Akanishi. Akanishi Jin… is Pi gonna be okay?"

"Maybe. Hopefully," says Koki. "For now, you need a bodyguard."

"Who, you?" asks Jin, looking hopeful.

"Nah, I have just the person, though. You allergic to cats?"

"No…"

"Good. Ka~ame-chan~" he calls toward the bedroom hidden from view, and the cat’s head peeks out from the darkness.

"…but that’s a cat," Jin says, looking vaguely panicked.

"Not always," says Koki, and the cat slowly becomes a man. Kame’s eyes are bright and focused as he stalks across the room to get a better look at Jin.

"Uh," manages Jin, eyes wide.

"He’s a bakeneko. Contrary to all those old wives’ tales about stealing your face and eating you, Kame-chan’s mostly harmless. Unless he’s offended by how long it’s been since you took out the trash and sets it on fire."

"You let it sit for three weeks," Kame says, through gritted teeth.

"It was just paper!"

"There was a bad steak sitting in the bottom of it," Kame snaps.

"There’s no such thing as a bad steak," answers Koki, grinning, "and don’t look like you’re afraid he’s going to eat you, Akanishi, he doesn’t like humans."

"You’re all too stringy," agrees Kame sagely, and Jin squawks in surprise.

"I think it’s time to go see our favorite vampire," Koki says to Ueda, "Nakamaru’ll be so happy to see me~"

Nakamaru’s place is a little 1DK by the train station, with one tiny window covered by a curtain. "OI, YUCCHI," Koki calls, knocking. Sure, it’s nine o’clock at night, but Nakamaru’s a remarkably normal citizen besides the whole ‘vampire on the run from his sire to prevent having to turn anyone else’ thing that makes him a great informant for Koki, so he’s probably still at home like the loser he is. Probably reading a geology book or whatever.

"What do you want," asks Nakamaru, "no I don’t have any food."

"Need info," Koki says, "let us in." He pokes Ueda in the side to get him moving and they slide past Nakamaru with a cheerful grin. Nakamaru groans, letting them push him out of the way and settle unceremoniously on his floor around the table.

Nakamaru comes back with tea, because he’s classy like that (even though the cups don’t match, but hey who cares none of them are classy like that, besides maybe Ueda) and glances down at the picture of Yamashita that Koki had gotten from a Google search and makes a face. "I know this guy," he says, "Yamapi. Hangs out with one of the guys in the class I teach-assist. There’s been some weird stuff going on around him lately. Which I guess is why you’re here."

"Know anything specific?" presses Koki, and glances to his left when he catches movement-ah, Kame crawling out of Jin’s zipped up jacket.

"He’s been seen a lot with Takizawa," says Nakamaru, before he has a lap full of Kame demanding tummy rubs, "Kame, come on-Takizawa’s a white witch, you know the kind, fairy familiar and all that-but there’ve been rumors about Tsubasa-the familiar-turning. Tackey might be… there are rumors that he’s a demon sympathizer."

"So you’re saying you think Tackey summoned a demon and had it possess Yamashita?" Koki guesses.

"Or he just convinced Pi it was a good idea. He’s Pi’s senpai on the squad-and he owns the club I DJ at, so we hang out there a lot. He’d have the time," says Jin.

Koki and Ueda share a look. "So you can get me into the V.I.P. section," Koki says.

"…yeah, I guess…"

Koki grins. "Let’s get to it, then!"

"Why am I coming with you?" Nakamaru whines, fluffing his bangs.

"Because Ueda can’t get within 50 feet without setting off ‘I am a demon hunter’ alarms and I need more backup," Koki says.

"What, Kame and Jin aren’t enough for you?"

Koki looks up at where Kame and Jin are arguing about how much man-cleavage is too much man-cleavage for a cat spirit to be showing, and rolls his eyes. "They’re no help. You’re the one I trust to have my back. Okay?"

Nakamaru rolls his eyes, because he knows he’s being played, but he slaps a hand on Koki’s shoulder. "Just promise me you’ll pull up your pants, this gangster thing is all well and good but you’re not going to be able to run anywhere!"

Koki glances down. "I’m not even wearing that much bling," he complains, but he hitches the loose jeans up and hauls his belt in to keep it at his hips.

"You jingle when you breathe!"

"That’s not that much! You’re not any better-you wanted to wear a bowtie!"

"There’s nothing wrong with an ironic bowtie, Koki."

"All right, ladies, are we gonna go any time this month?" Jin calls, which seems ironic given that he was just in a bitchfight with Kame about the neckline of his v-neck, but whatever.

"Let’s go," Ueda calls, jingling the keys to Koki’s crappy little car imperiously.

"Yes, your majesty," says Koki, grinning and ducking Ueda’s half-hearted swing at him.

Thankfully, Jin delivers.

Dreamcatcher is a fairly small club, an industrial place well-known among the supernatural underground types. The V.I.P. section is a balcony of booths in the back overlooking the dance floor, and that’s where Jin leads them. Koki’s flicking through his messages, waiting for a mail from Ueda, when he gets an "all ready. ~U". Koki assumes that means Ueda’s found a coffee shop in the area to read his book at, so he sits back to enjoy an atmosphere where the wards tattooed to the underside of his forearm keep people back instead of getting them closer to investigate for once.

"Koki!"

Koki glances up, and grins. "Taisuke," he answers.

Fujigaya Taisuke was one of Koki’s first cases-the second, actually, when he sits back to think on it, a seemingly simple haunting that had gotten creepier when it became apparent the ghost wasn’t a ghost at all, and whatever it was was hurting Fujigaya’s mother.

"Your mom doing okay?"

Fujigaya hands him a beer. "Much better now that we’re out of there," he answers, firmly. "What’re you doing here?"

"Looking for Takizawa. You know how to find him?"

"Lose the friends and I’ll send him over," Fujigaya answers, "as a special service~"

"Pretty lame special service," Koki answers, but lets him go.

"Shoo, the lot of you," says Koki, "and send back a Long Island Iced Tea for our friend. Don’t give me that look, Kame!"

"My customers don’t usually buy me drinks," Takizawa says, sliding into a seat in his booth and grinning at him.

"Hey, you deserve a drink as much as the rest of us-more, maybe," Koki answers, shrugging and clinking his beer against the Long Island Iced Tea resting in Tackey’s hands with a hushed kanpai.

"So," says Tackey, a purr in the back of his throat, "what brings you here?"

Koki lifts his wrist pointedly-he’s got a replica of Ueda’s iron bracelet on his own, a ward against fairies of any persuasion. "Know anything about Yamashita?"

"Yamapi? The kid’s in trouble, there’s demon scent all over him," says Tackey, a change in his eyes, "Tsubasa and I are trying to find out how to protect him."

"Protect-you know they say you’re a sympathizer, right?"

"I don’t care what they say," answers Tackey, scowling, "as long as I get that… demon magnet Akanishi away from him."

"Wait, you think Akanishi did this?" Koki squawks, "Akanishi’s not smart enough to fight his way out of a paper bag, never mind learn demon tongues to summon one."

Tackey sighs. "Pi’s with him all the time. I was just hoping…"

Koki nods in understanding. He always wants the easy answer, too, but it’s never that easy for him, either.

The beat changes downstairs, less trance and more hard rock, and Tackey seems as surprised as Koki. He stands, and crosses the booth to look over the railing at the club below. "There’s someone here," he calls back.

Koki gets up, stretching, and saunters over. There’s a subtle change in the dance floor, and he can see it-a wave of stillness.

"The kid there. With the perm," Tackey says, pointing him out. Even from here, he’s pretty, and whatever he’s doing makes Koki’s mouth go dry. He licks at his lips nervously.

His phone goes off; Koki flicks it open.

‘There’s something in there. Get out now. ~U’

Ueda’s never steered him wrong once in nearly a year.

"I’m gonna go," Koki says, too loudly, "emergency."

He jogs down the stairs past kissing couples, and moves across the dance floor, thudding bass matching the thudding in his ears, and catches a glimpse of Kame’s messy ponytail. He catches Jin by the elbow first on the way over, tugging him away from the floor and back toward the exit. Kame follows, an expression not unlike a cat under a stream of water across his face and his fingers in the hem of Jin’s shirt.

"Where’s Nakamaru?" roars Koki.

"I think he went to the bathroom," Jin calls back.

"Text him we’re leaving," Koki says, shoving them toward the door. Fujigaya’s leaning on the bar waiting for a drink or something; Koki presses up next to him.

"Go home," he says.

"Huh?" Fujigaya blinks.

"Taipi, just… trust me on this. Go home," Koki says.

Fujigaya’s mouth twists a little at the corner. "Yeah, yeah, okay. Thanks, Koki."

"So… what do you think it was?" Koki asks Ueda when they get back, leaning on his desk and hitting the ‘redial’ button. There’s been no answer from Nakamaru, and it’s been hours.

Ueda is sitting on the desk next to him, flicking through his grimoire distractedly. The book of spells has saved them more times than Koki wants to think about; Ueda stops now on a page titled Desire.

"It felt like a desire spirit," Ueda says, "they’re not quite demons but they work in a similar way: making you think there’s nothing else important. There's no contract here, I don't think--Tegoshi probably isn't acting on his own. This is a possession. Of Tegoshi, I mean. That doesn't tell us much about Yamashita, but you remember how spirits tend to congregate around demons."

"So what do we do?" asks Koki. Breaking down problems is always better for him.

"There’s an amulet I can craft, if I have Junno’s help," Ueda says, pitching his voice at the window.

"Any time you need me, Uepi~" Junno chirps, and Ueda raises an amused eyebrow at him. Junno hauls himself through the window, narrowly avoiding murdering Koki as he passes, and the two retreat to the bedroom whispering about something or other.

"I recognized him," Jin says, after Ueda’s done forming the twisted little amulets and threading them on leather. It rests heavy among Koki’s other necklaces.

"Ryo-Ryo introduced him to us once," Jin continues.

"Please tell me you don’t mean Nishikido," says Koki, weakly.

Jin nods; Koki groans, and Ueda’s cheeks expand into a pout.

"Uepi, please tell me you’re not going to get into a fight with him," Koki says, weakly.

"No promises," Ueda snaps, "if he calls me a girl one more time I’m going to knock his head straight off his shoulders."

"Oh, Akanishi, who’s the new girlfriend?"

Kame scowls at Ryo from the doorstep to his place. Jin rolls his eyes and leads them all inside; Koki thanks every deity ever that Ryo hasn’t made fun of Ueda yet, but it’s only a matter of time, probably.

"We need your help," Jin says.

"Are you eloping? Did you kill somebody? Go away," Ryo complains.

"Ryo," says Jin, "please? You remember that kid with the perm you introduced Pi to? What’s his name?"

"Tegoshi," supplies Ryo, "little bastard’s stealing all of my friends, I see. Pi won’t talk about anything else. He wanted to be your friend, too, were you too drunk to remember this?"

"…oh that’s right this is the one I threw the empty beer cup at," Jin says, as it dawns on him.

"Yeah, that one."

"Shit, he wanted my drink! Like hell I was gonna share!"

Ueda’s very still next to Koki’s shoulder. "He’s jealous," he says.

"I’m not jealous of jack-shit!" Ryo snarls.

"Not you, you idiot, Yamashita," Ueda answers, pleasant, "Yamashita is enchanted. He’s worried Tegoshi’s going to leave him for Akanishi."

"He broke a plate and left it in my bed because he’s jealous," Jin repeats.

"He’s magicked, it’s not the same as regular jealousy," answers Ueda, waving his hand, "Nishikido, what club are they going to tonight?"

Ryo laughs. "Enchanted? Magic? Are you people insane?"

"Magick," Koki corrects, "Kame-chan?"

Kame grumbles, and soon enough Jin has a cat at his feet.

Ryo looks flabbergasted. "…seriously?"

Ryo stammers something that may or may not be a human tongue while Jin laughs at him (Ryo pokes him in the collarbones as revenge, and Koki files the shrieking away as an advantage. Just in case and all that) and Ueda turns to Koki with a wide, triumphant grin. Koki shakes his head, laughing himself.

"…is all of that really shit you’re gonna need?" Jin asks, while Koki pulls a suit jacket on. Koki looks down at his spread of weapons and protective charms, and shrugs.

"It never hurts to be prepared," he answers, playing with the heavy fairy-charm at his throat. It’s heavy and warm in a way that all of Ueda’s jewelry tends to be, the tingle of his lilting magic playing over Koki’s skin. He reaches for the ring filled with unicorn blood (vampires hated it), the heavy wrist brace inscribed with anti-demon chants, the earring that rang when there was a ghost in the room. The rest of his bling is put aside-it won’t help him tonight. His v-neck makes him feel a little naked, but the spirit that kept him from bleeding out on the damn pavement is sealed into the scar on his sternum, and if there’s any more magick he can get out of it he intends to try.

He loads his guns, one for each hip and an emergency one stowed in the shoulder holster, with the bullets Ueda and Junno had crafted for him. "Let’s go," he says, loud, and leads the way. They’re relying on Ryo and Jin (and Kame’s good looks, if they’re honest) to get them into the club, a place on the unspoken supernatural underground-mundane aboveground border in Shibuya named Venom, where Yamashita and this Tegoshi kid had been all week.

The ride’s uneventful, Ryo bitching about Ueda’s music choices and their snide commentary about each other’s hair, intelligence, and good looks (or lack thereof). Ueda pulls to a stop suddenly, and Koki scowls at him after he recovers from almost hitting his forehead on the dashboard. "Stop doing that," he complains.

"It’s tradition," Ueda answers, "it might put you off balance forever if I didn’t do it."

Koki grumbles under his breath as he gets out, rolling his shoulders. He goes around the other side and leans in the open window. "You get to sit here and wait for Nishikido to sneak out! Aren’t you excited," he asks.

"I’ve never been more excited," Ueda answers, and punches him in the arm. This, too, is tradition, but Koki still curses.

"Ow," he says, jutting his lower lip out.

Ueda drops an ear cuff into his hand. "Rub it, and I’ll come find you."

"If you wanted me to rub hard long things in your honor, you could’ve just said something," Koki says, snickering, and snaps it on. He looks down and tugs at a lock of Ueda’s hair.

"We’ll be back before you know it," he says, "let’s go!"

"Nishikido is walking home!"

Venom is bigger than Dreamcatcher, and twice as packed, it feels like. They’d gotten in no problem: Kame’s prissy smirk (and Jin’s flash of cash) had been more than enough. They’re packed in the men’s bathroom in a scene Koki thinks is probably reminiscent of a circle-jerk porno guarding Kame while he uses his magick to copy Ryo’s face. Ueda had warned them that Ryo would just be a victim if he got too close to whatever spell Tegoshi’s spirit was using, but Yamapi was waiting for Ryo. Kame finishes making sure his hair is perfect and straightens his jacket.

"Kame-chan, be careful, would you?" Koki says.

"I’m always careful," Kame answers, and offers him a smirk, "they’ll never see a difference." When he stalks off, hands in his pockets and shoulders stiff, he does look just like Ryo; Jin laughs.

Ryo’s sitting in the stall in his underwear and Kame’s t-shirt, cheek resting on his palm. "So now what?" he asks.

"You get to do a walk of shame, Akanishi and I go make sure Kame-chan’s not going to die," Koki says, "Ueda’s waiting in the back. Have fun~"

Ryo’s loud cursing echoes through the bathroom as they leave.

"Okay," says Jin, leaning against Koki and dragging him by the sleeve of his jacket, "look." He tilts his chin toward the VIP door. Kame (still shaped like Ryo) is talking to the bouncer, and he motions toward Koki and Jin (and the girls who’re following them around). Jin waves back, and wraps his arms around the waists of the two closest girls as he strolls closer. Koki doesn’t bother-they’d just be trouble in a fight.

"Hey, asshole, finally noticed us?" Koki calls, and Kame smirks just like Ryo.

"Had to be ready to deal with your particular brand of fucking dumbass," he answers, and the bouncer laughs along with them.

Kame offers him a weak smile. "Shall I put them to sleep?" he asks, sing song and quiet.

"Just the girls," Koki answers, "Jin’ll listen if I tell him what do, if he knows what’s good for him."

They leave the girls asleep in a messy room on their way back; they’ll be safe from perverts there, though probably unhappy if the bouncer tosses them out on their asses.

"You," says Koki, pointing at Jin, "if I tell you to go, you go. If I tell you to duck, you duck. If I tell you to do the chicken dance, you do it."

"When you tell me to blow you, do I have to do that?" Jin asks.

"…yeah, yeah you do," Koki answers, "get to it."

Jin pushes him out of the way, and they’re laughing at each other when they enter the room where the root of all this trouble is partying it up. Koki’s got his hands on his guns, adrenaline pumping. Yamapi’s sitting on a couch, legs spread and Tegoshi between them, one hand wound in his dark hair and the other sliding a glass of something into his hand. Tegoshi settles on Yamapi’s thigh when the door closes with a click.

"Pi!" Jin calls, sounding excited, and Yamapi looks up, eyes glassy. His smile fades.

"Bakanishi," he says, sounding lukewarm at best, and Jin frowns.

"Still hung up on the little prettyboy?" Kame throws out, "you’ve been all over him this whole damn time, say hello to Tanaka Koki."

"Tanaka… I know that name," says Tegoshi, and Koki thinks it’s kind of like the voice of the devil, a soft flow of pleasant sweet trouble.

"Where’d you hear about me?" asks Koki, fists clenched around the handles of his guns.

"Here and there," answers Tegoshi, and turns away to look down at Yamapi, fingers brushing over his forehead, "Tomo, take care of them. They want to take me away from you, you know."

Yamapi stands, then, and stalks toward Jin. Jin, squawking, leaps away, and Kame rushes over to tackle Jin and get him out of the way.

"So that’s how we’re gonna play this?" Koki asks, and knocks a table out of the way to get at the little-adorable-oh what the fuck no-fuck fuck fuck-Tegoshi is very pretty-very pretty, in fact, it makes a lot more sense to just… stop.

He drops the guns with a clatter, and Tegoshi’s smile makes him drop the stake tied to his wrist out of his left sleeve, too. He’d do anything for more of that smile.

KOKI! STOP IT!

Koki stops. Yeah, he knows that annoying-ass voice anywhere.

Uepi will rearrange your jaw, you know.

"Taguchi, what the fuck are you doing right now?" he hisses under his breath.

Helping! There’s a piece of me in all of you now~

"Gross," he mumbles, while Tegoshi looks wary.

I love you, too, Ko~ki~kun~ Now duck! Nakamaru’s coming.

"How the fuck did-" Koki knows better than to ignore that kind of warning, and he leaps forward just in time to not get Nakamaru throwing a glass of water at Tegoshi.

"That’s the best you can do?!" Koki squawks, "you’re a 400 year old vampire and a glass of water is what you come up with?!"

"I was tied up in the supply closet, I didn’t have much of an option," Nakamaru answers, and yeah it’s still dumb but Koki does at least manage to pull the gun holstered at his shoulder out of his jacket and get the safety off.

Surprisingly, the glass of water actually appears to have been a good choice, since Tegoshi’s scowling about the way his hair’s flattened. "Now I’m pissed," says Tegoshi, and it’s then that Koki shoots him. The gunshot makes everybody freeze; even Yamapi, who’s got Kame and Jin sitting on him. The bullets make the victim freeze, Ueda’s magic grabbing hold of muscles and pulling them taut, blood pumping in your ears but it’s cold. (Koki knows from experience.)

The earring, Koki, hurry!

Koki reaches up so fast he hits himself in the face with his pistol, which makes the Junno voice in his ear shriek with laughter.

It’s maybe two minutes later when Ueda arrives, grimoire in hand and ofuda in the other. The exorcism’s not a big deal-it never is-and neither is the healing magic they learned together from the book, practicing on Koki’s various scrapes over the past year. Tegoshi remembers everything, which makes it easier because he’ll remember to wear the warding charm. Yamapi’s okay one Jin collarbone touch as revenge for sitting on him later, thankfully. He doesn’t seem to remember a thing.

"Thank god," says Koki to Ueda, when they’re back in the car.

"I don’t believe in god, remember," Ueda answers, and grins, and Koki doesn’t either but maybe for that minute he does. A little.

"What was that job you had for me, anyway?"

"Hmmm? Oh, a haunting at a strip club. We can check in on it tomorrow, calm down."

"KOKI~"

"Fuck you Akanishi go away," Koki says, under his desk looking for the battery for his cell phone.

"Did America get Bakanishi’d out?" asks Ueda from where he’s making toast in the kitchen.

"The semester is over, you gigantic ass," Jin says, scowling, "so I’m home. Where’s Kame-chan?"

"With Taipi," Koki says, sliding back into his chair.

Jin sighs.

"Taipi is downstairs in the reception office," Ueda clarifies loudly.

Jin turns on his heel and stalks out.

"Bye," calls Koki, and glances at Ueda, who’s biting into his toast.

"He’ll be back," says Ueda after a mouthful.

"Like I give a shit?" Koki reminds him, strolling toward the front door and locking it.

"Oh, shall I put up the wards? That’ll be another month."

"What’s one more month to eternity?" asks Koki, grinning.