This is How We Break
Title: This is how we break
Rating: PG-13 for some language
Timeline: season 2
Summary: Things fell apart, and there was nothing he could do...
This is how we break...
Justin can't remember the day when everything began to unravel. He can't remember because someone took a bat to his head and then everything fell apart and exploded and unraveled and nothing was ever the same again.
Before the bashing, things were good. Fine. Complacent. Justin made a point not to ask Brian for anything he couldn't deliver, which meant not asking for much at all. But as long as Justin had Brian, he was okay. He could deal with the rest, knowing that he meant more to Brian than most. Knowing that Brian cared for him.
But after he was bashed, after nearly staring his death in the face, things couldn't, wouldn't, stay the same. There was no more room for words like 'complacent' and 'just fine.' Justin wanted to live, damnit, but then nothing went right and things kept falling apart and he felt like all he had was Brian. He knows, now, that he asked too much of Brian. But there was no one else. Justin couldn't deal, didn't want to deal, and neither did anyone else.
Justin wanted Brian to be his everything. To be everything that he had ever wanted in a man, in a relationship, because they had to do it now before the next basher came swinging his baseball bat and taking more from Justin. It had to be now. There was no more 'later,' not to Justin. There was only now.
And with each passing day and each passing trick, he became more and more desperate. Things were supposed to different now! Brian should want Justin, not these strange men. Wasn't Justin enough for him? Couldn't Justin ever be enough, to anyone? So came the rules. And then Justin could breathe a little easier. Brian wanted him. He was willing to follow those stupid rules to show Justin that he cared.
And Justin breathed again.
But still, nothing was going right. Was this punishment for surviving? Why had he survived, only to be doomed to a lifetime of shattered dreams and unfulfillment?
So things broke down and fell apart and when it became too much, everything was just too damn much, Justin had to do something. And when he saw Brian with that man, that Rage guy, the bough tipped and fell over and broke.
And Justin ran.
Rating: PG-13 for some language
Timeline: season 2
Summary: Things fell apart, and there was nothing he could do...
This is how we break...
Justin can't remember the day when everything began to unravel. He can't remember because someone took a bat to his head and then everything fell apart and exploded and unraveled and nothing was ever the same again.
Before the bashing, things were good. Fine. Complacent. Justin made a point not to ask Brian for anything he couldn't deliver, which meant not asking for much at all. But as long as Justin had Brian, he was okay. He could deal with the rest, knowing that he meant more to Brian than most. Knowing that Brian cared for him.
But after he was bashed, after nearly staring his death in the face, things couldn't, wouldn't, stay the same. There was no more room for words like 'complacent' and 'just fine.' Justin wanted to live, damnit, but then nothing went right and things kept falling apart and he felt like all he had was Brian. He knows, now, that he asked too much of Brian. But there was no one else. Justin couldn't deal, didn't want to deal, and neither did anyone else.
Justin wanted Brian to be his everything. To be everything that he had ever wanted in a man, in a relationship, because they had to do it now before the next basher came swinging his baseball bat and taking more from Justin. It had to be now. There was no more 'later,' not to Justin. There was only now.
And with each passing day and each passing trick, he became more and more desperate. Things were supposed to different now! Brian should want Justin, not these strange men. Wasn't Justin enough for him? Couldn't Justin ever be enough, to anyone? So came the rules. And then Justin could breathe a little easier. Brian wanted him. He was willing to follow those stupid rules to show Justin that he cared.
And Justin breathed again.
But still, nothing was going right. Was this punishment for surviving? Why had he survived, only to be doomed to a lifetime of shattered dreams and unfulfillment?
So things broke down and fell apart and when it became too much, everything was just too damn much, Justin had to do something. And when he saw Brian with that man, that Rage guy, the bough tipped and fell over and broke.
And Justin ran.